All Articles Tagged "money and marriage"
There’s a reason you’re cautioned to wait to move in together, marry and even have children and that is this: no matter how perfect of a match you and a man may seem, there’s no telling how he or you will react when life throws you a curveball.
You bond with your partner over drinks, over a weekend getaway, over buying a home together, and all of these things require money. In some sense, money can buy you love because it can buy you the stability and the opportunities under which you can get to know each other and become closer. Having enough money also fends off many fights. But, the reality is, money comes and goes, and you don’t want your relationship to go with it. So, think and talk about these things, before you hit tough times.
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The report’s findings fly in the face of conventional wisdom that says married people have it better economically than their unmarried counterparts. “When we started writing this report, we thought that people who were married, and not those just living with each other, would be better off. But that’s not the case,” said D’Vera Cohn, the study’s co-author. The key is a college degree, Cohn said. Cohabiting couples without college educations typically fare worse than comparably educated married couples and are on par with the economic means of an adult living without a partner, the study said.
(AOL) — Breaking up is always hard to do. But just because your life has been upended by a divorce or separation, it doesn’t mean your finances have to suffer, too. That’s exactly what can happen, however, if you make any number of wrong moves when you’re unwinding a relationship. Here are seven financial mistakes you must avoid once you decide to end a marriage:
1. Thinking that a mediator will protect your financial interests. Many of us think that all divorces inevitably devolve into epic, drawn-out battles over money and property, complete with bitter screaming matches, chronic stress, and “I’ll get you!” style threats, kind of like The War of the Roses, the 1989 film that starred Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. But that’s the Hollywood version of a worst-case divorce scenario.
(Forbes) — Money is a leading source of conflict for most couples, says Alexa von Tobel, founder and CEO ofLearnVest.com, a personal finance website for women. While about half of all marriages end in divorce, von Tobel believes a great many relationships could be brighter if couples were as united in their finances as they were by their love. According to her, one in five people have a secret bank account or credit card, and 80% have lied to a spouse about spending. “Marriage is a financial decision,” says von Tobel. “You should know what you’re getting, and get on the same page.”
Times are challenging. We want adaptable women. A cheerleader at our highs and counselor (mainly sex) in our lows. Will you be ready and unconditionally supportive for our power moves and misses? In rough times, find out if we need you financially. Extra income trumps morning workouts and Oprah. Asking alone shows you’d be a great partner. 2. You May Be A Liability
Many of us see wives as an obligation that MUST be worth it. Offer qualities we refuse to live without – great sex, ridiculous beauty or whatever our “currency” is. Possess something we’re willing to trade our “freedom” for. We decide how much effort we’ll expend to keep you very early. The more you offer, the better your chances. We’ll fold on an average hand. No excessive debt, litter of children or new responsibilities we don’t want. Sending “his money” to mom may make you a burden not an asset.
Before marriage; we weigh the “costs” of sharing financial decisions. Similar financial outlooks are preferred. If we’re financially carefree – be thrifty. If we’re thrifty – be thriftier. Mirror us financially to see the “papers” you desire. We assume you’ll treat our money like yours. Quitting your jobs abruptly may be fine. Quitting without a backup plan is unacceptable. 4. We Make Unsound Financial Decisions With You
We make calculated decisions about you to get what we want. The more we like you; the worse our decision-making. For protection, we instantly classify women into categories. You’ve been analyzed; so anything we give beyond “your worth” seems like a loss. Excess in dating compromises our financial stability. You don’t have to pay; BUT PAY ATTENTION. Suggest alternatives to fine-dining if you suspect our ambivalence. We’ll appreciate your sacrifice and work harder to please you.
5. You Make Us Feel Financially Weak
Men compete with each other from birth. In order to survive and be successful, our self-confidence must always remain in tact. We can’t be compromised AND successful. Broken men, allowed themselves to become LESS than what they originally envisioned. Most men won’t care if you make the same pay or more. We’ll push you away if you make us feel smaller than our vision of ourselves. We must be the head of house in one way or another. We’ll never be thrilled with making less than you. Succeed; but never flaunt your financial prowess. It’s not “good money” if deteriorates our self image.
6. You Treat Us Like Currency
A woman “who can find somebody else” is open to someone better than us. Once again, we’re competing. Thoughts of you with the competition make us feel disposable, like money. Bottom line – there are more women than men. Unless you’re irresistible; we’ll call your bluff. We too, “can find somebody else”. Women who appreciate us; appreciate in value. Here are some tips to promote positive financial growth in relationships: 1. Share Your Financial Decisions to Create an Open Financial Environment.
2. Find Ways to Build His Wealth Too.
3. Assess and Align Your Financial Decision-Making Styles.
4. Be Receptive and Adapt To His Financial Peaks and Valleys.
5. Make Him “The King” of Something Else If He Can’t Cut it Financially.
6. Appreciate What He Brings to the Table and Truly Value It. Jemal Webb is a leading Independent Financial Asset Manager in Atlanta, building a community based on Abundance, Protection and Education.