How do you feel about a man financially providing for you? We’re talking about him taking over your rent, your car payment, your grocery bills, your dental insurance – all of it. Having this happen within a marriage is its own subject, but one that possibly stirs up a bit less discussion than a boyfriend doing this for a girlfriend. Or not even a woman he calls his girlfriend but someone he sleeps with and spends time with.
There may not be a right or wrong answer to the question, “Should a man pay for your life?” A lot of it is case-by-case. What’s right for one couple isn’t necessarily right for another. If you’re talking about a hookup who isn’t even yet a boyfriend, well, just make sure his name isn’t on your car because if you break up he may come for it. We chatted with a couple of relationship experts to see what they had to say about the topic. Founder of Atlanta Couple Therapy Dr. Laura Louis, and licensed marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis shed some light on the matter.
If he offers money, what do you offer?
Dr. Louis: “If you are looking for someone to take care of you financially, you have to be clear on what you bring to the table. A lot of times, men who are open to that sort of dynamic. Often times they want their spouse to be more at home, taking care of cooking and cleaning and taking care of the family…This is a more traditional relationship.”
Though this setup may sound antiquated, it’s worth noting that several studies have found that the majority of Americans of all ages and genders still believe men should be the primary breadwinners in their families.