Shutterstock

Along with online dating, long-distance relationships (LDR)have also become quite popular in today’s world. Whether you meet someone you like who happens to live in another state or if your boyfriend has to relocate somewhere that isn’t exactly close by, sometimes long-distance relationships just happen. However, be warned that LDRs are not for everyone, and they truly take a lot of time and effort in order to make them work, let alone last. If you’re faced between the decision of being single or being in a LDR, you’ll want to think long and hard. Here are 14 signs that a long distance relationship isn’t for you.

Shutterstock

Ideally, the man of your dreams lives about a fifteen minute drive away. He’s not your next door neighbor, so you actually get some space to yourself and he can’t just pop up on you. Plus, if things don’t work out, you’ll at least have separate Starbucks to hit up in the morning. But love has no regard for what’s “ideal.” And sometimes you’ll fall for a man who lives across the country. Your friends will tell you to forget about him, that it won’t work out, and that the travel will exhaust you, but it’s too late. You’ve fallen for him and you want to make it work. But the question is,  is it possible? Actually it is, just stick to these fundamental rules.

Thanks to the Internet, social media, and online dating websites, long distance relationships have become as popular as ever. However, these relationships can be extremely stressful, costly, and tough to keep together. Here are 14 tips for making a long distance relationship work.

madamenoire.com

Don’t hide the relationship.

Some people consider long distance relationships to be completely bogus, but who cares. Showcase your relationship and let everyone know you’re an item.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, nor does it keep track of right or wrong. Love is an action at best, and it doesn’t matter if the one you love is at a distance or within arm’s reach because love is love… It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder, meaning that when you are not in the presence of a loved one you value the person and their presence more, and you love them more and more with each passing day they are not with you. However it is also said that when you’re out of a person’s sight you’re out of their mind, meaning that if you are not in the presence of the one you love physically then you are likely to become a distant memory.

Are these statements true for long distance lovers? Does absence increase the desire to be with someone, or is it a necessity to be within your loved one’s reach whenever you desire? Based on my personal experience, I believe that both statements are true. I have had the privilege of encountering quite a few relationships from a distance where my significant others were in different states, and while I did long to be with them and miss them I will admit that it was difficult to keep them close. I recall one distant relationship where my significant other and I could not get enough of each other. We called each other constantly; sent each other surprise gifts, planned vacation visits, so on and so on. We did everything we could think of to supplement for the distance, and to keep the relationship going strong, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough to sustain a healthy relationship. So shortly after one of our vacation visits, my then boyfriend sent me a very long and dramatic e-mail ending our relationship.

I was baffled when I received this e-mail, but for some reason I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t surprised because deep down I knew the relationship would be short lived because as individuals we struggled with the idea and the reality of a long distance relationship. We both struggled because we did not fully understand the level of commitment, trust, patience and understanding it took from both parties to maintain a relationship from a distance. We struggled with the reality of a long distance relationship because I don’t believe we were mature enough to handle the distance between us as we were both used to having our mates within reach; we did not have the willingness to commit to each other whole heartedly, nor did we have the patience.

One of my personal struggles with this particular relationship was that I was not connected enough to my then boyfriend on a meaningful level to sustain a purposeful relationship. While we had everything in common physically, we were not connected to each other spiritually and emotionally which made our visits draining for me because I chose to struggle to keep a relationship with him because he was a good man. When this relationship ended, I decided to reflect back on it to see how we could have done things differently to make the relationship work. So the first thing I did was ask myself if my mate and I took the time to become friends. We did not. The next thing I asked myself was did we mutually prepare for being involved in a long distance relationship. We did not. Another question I asked myself was, were we mentally prepared to trust each other and were we willing to commit to a long distance relationship.

Know a friend whose boyfriend is her life? It seems like she has the word “Girlfriend” flashing over her head. No decision is just her own. No action is just her own. There of course needs to be a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice for a relationship to work, but some is just too much and can actually distance you and your man, and make you feel like you’re losing your sense of self. Here’s how to keep the balance—yes, these sound surprisingly like single behavior:

yeahshesaidit.com

At first glance, these out of the ordinary situations look like cause for a storm in a relationship. But they can actually be what brings a couple closer. Check out the benefits of all things bad…

Read the rest of this entry »

Is your boo far away from you? If you want to learn how to keep your relationship in tact or as normal as possible check out these tips from YourTango.com.

Dear Very Smart Brotha,

I was dating a guy for awhile. We had some deep conversations of our past and he never judged me. When he confided in me of some addictions he had and how he was a practicing Muslim. I  listened and didn’t judge him either. Knew the only one to judge was God.  Things were great until one day he told me that I was neither a friend or a girlfriend and that hurt so much. I didn’t talk to him for a few days. That is when he asked what was wrong. I told him I was hurt by what he said on how he saw me as nothing to him. He laughed and explained it was just a joke. I was furious. I told him that it was a bad joke and we ended it right there. A few weeks after he contacted me and wanted to see me because he missed me. I told him after some deep thought that his addictions were hard to accept since I dealt with them from a previous relationship and I felt that with my religion being Christian it would be hard for us to be together. He laughed and said that all that was a joke and cant believe that I fell for it. We stopped talking and I moved on. Well he contacted me again apologized to me, saying he missed me and wants me back that he will never joke like that again. Part of me wants to move on some of me wants to see if he is willing to change. What do I do? Everyone says to forget him and how Id be crazy if I went back to him. Wondering?

Sincerely,

Conflicted Christian

Read the rest of this entry »

What would you do if your suga bear asked you to change your Facebook relationship status to married even though the two of you are not married? Oh and you have a long distance relationship. Oh and you’ve never met… and you live an ocean apart.

That’s the dilemma a reader posed to Hello Beautiful’s relationship advice columnist. Check out his hilarious response here!

Have you ever change your Facebook status to something that was not quite true?  Why?

After a significant change occurs such as a high school or college graduation, the dynamics of friendship are tested when your close friend moves away for an extended period or a lifetime. You’ve spent every waking moment together, but all of a sudden,  distance comes between you. Anyone who dreads the feeling of not having a dear friend close by, could only wonder how to keep the friendship intact. How can friendships be salvaged under such complicated circumstances?

Here are a few tips to keeping your bestie in your life even if she’s hundreds of miles away from you!

Read the rest of this entry »