All Articles Tagged "fighting"

How You’re Making Your Relationship Fights Uneccessarily Longer

June 24th, 2016 - By Julia Austin
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Fighting with a romantic partner feels worse than fighting with a family member, a coworker, or anyone else you know. There’s a reason for that too: you’re chemically bonded to your partner. If you’ve been together for a while, your body is used to certain hormonal changes when you’re near your partner. Those hormonal changes are mostly good (if you’re with the right person) and your body becomes dependent on them. So when you fight with your partner, you can almost feel like you’re sick because the usual feel-good hormones and chemicals you experience around him are off balance. In a sense, when you fight with your partner, you feel like you’re fighting with yourself because internally everything feels messed up. Naturally, you want fights with a partner to be over as soon as possible. But there might be things you do that make your fights even worse.

Father Beats Up Girl Gang Attacking His Daughter

July 1st, 2015 - By Rich
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Here’s the scenario.

Girl gets beat up by a gang of girls.
Father jumps in, shields daughter.
Girls begin to attack dad.
Dad proceeds to fight girls.
Onlookers are outraged.

I am not sure where this video originated or what city it all went down, but this is a nightmare I have in my head. I, the consummate over thinker, has envisioned what I would do in the event that my child was attacked. In some instances, I am pondering it being a group of knife-and-gun teen kids and sometimes, its a pack like in the video. I’ve never quite thought bout fighting girls, but I’ve always been a staunch advocate for defending my daughter. So, take a look at the video, which is quite shocking.

What would you do?

I would probably have to do just as the man did in the video, with a bit less force. Then again…you never know. Sadly, I have seen numerous fights of this sort on social media and girls have come a long way when it comes to gang fighting. It comes as no shocker than this is a regular thing n this WorldStar era of acceptance of just about everything. I have no issue with “a fair one,” but they don’t exist anymore.

My dad, a pretty big man, was always a proponent of “the equalizer.” Never saw him use his “equalizer,” but it was there just in case. As far as I can see, this father was defending himself and his child against a pack of untrained heathens, that happened to be female, that decided they wanted to fight a grown ass man. When you go that route, you get grown ass man results. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

So, I don’t consider this a matter of gender.

I believe that any father worth his weight in salt is going to do whatever he needs to do to defend his child, especially if they become the subject of the attack. Frankly, they should be pleasantly pleased this man didn’t lose his cool and attempt to seriously injure somebody. People tend to “black out” when consumed with the rage that only comes from protecting their young. I am pretty sure that in the future these packs of kids are going to be met with more force than mere blows.

In this NSFW video, males attack a student , apparently for getting good grades.

Of course – all fathers become The Punisher when their baby girl is in danger. But, what can you do?

1) Talk to your kid.

These things don’t just happen. There’s almost aways a build up of some sorts. I’ve said this before, but I talk to my daughter a lot. I ask open-ended question so the responses are not just “Yes” or “No” and we have a conversation.

2) Observe

Kids don’t tell their parents everything. This we know. You have to be cognizant and observant, paying particular attention to any changes you may see in your offspring.

3) Stay Cool

When my daughter was younger, a boy was acting a fool with her and we had to handle it. I was furious and was ready to wreck shop. However, the parent – knowing their child well – were very agreeable to how to move forward. All the parents found an amicable way to proceed without damaging the kids.

4) Teach Conflict Resolution

Parents can’t be there all the time. The kid should know how to diffuse situations, especially when presented by pack-loving bullies. Teach them that it is not cowardly, but actually brave, to keep a situation from escalating.

5) Get Them Lessons

I know a lot of kids that are into martial arts and other forms of self-defense. My kid has some boxing skills and she hits hard. It isn’t just meant to help a child engage in warfare, but it allows them the ability to move with confidence among others. Most bullies don’t want do deal with a kid that will present a “problem.” They certainly don’t want to deal with a kid that fights back and also has a father acts as an “equalizer.”

One last thing:

There is nothing wrong with defending and protecting your family.

Breaking The Code: Fighting In Public And What It Means If You’re Not Exclusive After A Year

March 6th, 2015 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Normally, when you’re dating someone, two big issues have to be dealt with at some point: when you should make things official, and how you should handle conflict as a couple. In this week’s episode of “Breaking The Code,” MadameNoire editors and the fellas of “Guy Code” share their rules on these topics and you’ll be surprised by their answers! Watch and weigh in!

WTF?! Woman Bit So Hard Finger Was Almost Severed In Fight Over Parking Space

March 10th, 2014 - By Lauren R.D. Fox
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Woman Almost Bites Finger

Cherry Hill Police

Sometimes the news will make you question, what is life really about?

On Saturday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. a 42-year-old Philadelphia women and two other women were involved in a brawl at Cherry Hill Mall over — get this — a space in the mall’s parking lot. According to Daily Mail, not many details about the fight have been disclosed but The Courier Post did release this interesting detail:

One of the two women bit the victim so hard, a portion of her finger was almost severed.


Though the victim was in stable condition by Sunday afternoon at Cooper University Hospital in Camden, the woman who assaulted her had yet to be found to press charges. Her image was captured on a mall security camera, but all authorities know is she’s a black woman with an afro who was wearing sunglasses and a black coat and was driving an Audi sedan in a dark color.

Police are asking that those who witnessed the fight or can identify the assaulter contact authorities at the Cherry Hill Police Department at (856) 488-7828.

Below is video news report about this investigation.

Serious Question: At What Age Are You Too Old To Be Fist-Fighting?

December 31st, 2013 - By Charing Ball
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Source: Vh1

Source: Vh1

I’m sorry but grown women are not supposed to fight. That’s what the little cousins and nieces are for.

I say that in (sort of) jest but I do have to raise eyebrows when I read stories about women of a certain age, still bringing the ruckus in dank nightclubs. And of course, I’m alluding to TMZ’s story about 42-year old Chrissy Lampkin being arrested yesterday morning for aggravated assault and disorderly conduct after allegedly beating another woman down in a New Jersey bar. According to TMZ, the alleged beat down came after Lampkin got pissed that the alleged victim accidentally bumped into someone – after taking an unauthorized seat on the same lounge sofa they happened to be seated at.

I’m sure (hoping) that there is more to this story. However judging solely based on how Lampkin used to jump off on women, with virtually little provocation, during the first couple of seasons of “Love & Hip Hop: NY,” it is not hard to believe that she probably went a little HAM on the alleged poor girl. And if the reports are true, I have to say that this is a pretty sad situation for Lampkin as well. I don’t know about the rest of you grown women but fist-fighting seems kind of silly, just like a grown woman wearing ponytails and bangs – in the front and in the back.

Personally my need to aggressively compete, or what I swore at the time was my right to self-defense, wore off in my late twenties. The last time I remember it well: My very best friend and I were in the bathroom of well known Philly lounge, when these strange women approached us and asked my best friend if she knew a dude named Darnell? Of course she didn’t and that’s what we told the girl before walking back into the main lounge area. Ten minutes later, our new friends from the bathroom reappeared. This time, they sat on the other end of the couch and stared us down accusingly. We did our best to ignore them, although it was obvious they had no intention of being ignored. The ring leader started in again, “Are you sure don’t know Darnell?” It was a question but it was clear by her tone the answer was irrelevant. Needless to say, we were past the point of annoyance. Our egos were telling us to bait this girl on. After all, she and her corny goon-squad came over here looking for trouble. And ain’t no way, we are going to let them, get the best of us. But what exactly would we feel the need to prove? My best friend and I shared a similar glance. It was one of totally weariness and boredom. We were on the same page. And without even saying a word, my best friend and I got up, left that club and found a less contentious and friendlier place to party.

It might seem punk-ish to some but nowadays, I do my best to avoid fighting. Trust me, it is not out of fear of taking a loss. More so, it is really out of concern of the consequences. Like loss of employment. Or a messed up face and other permanent scaring. Or medical bills, or even being legally responsible for someone else’s medical bills. Or even prison. In short, fighting is for young girls and boys, who don’t have to pay fully for their lifestyles. That is not to say that I haven’t cursed out a deserving person or two – or several. And even through my thirties, I have even been tested to the point where I have threatened to put them paws on ’em. However it never went any farther than that because I just wasn’t going to let someone have control over my emotions like that. And there is just as much power, and winning for that matter, in walking away as there is diving head first into an unnecessary “fight” that does more to harm you than it does to move you forward in life.

Plus, I really do believe that with age and experience comes wisdom. The wisdom to not only get better at picking your battles  but also the skill of defense without having to Hulk-smash everything in sight. A nice eye roll and a shady comment for starters. Heck, walk away while theatrically, and publicly, declaring your obliviousness to why you mad. Trust, that bit of humiliation cuts way deeper than a punch ever could. Short of acting out on some of hormonal imbalance, food allegory, diabetic reaction or truly the act of self defense, the act of fighting in the club is just a matter of maturity – or lack thereof.

Dealing with Family Drama Over the Holidays

December 11th, 2013 - By Rich
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As much as I am super excited for the holidays to come, it seems like people are overlooking the harsh reality of family drama that always seems to rear its ugly head. Call it unfortunate or just something we all have to deal with, but the thought of being around family when there’s tension puts the Grinch back into my Christmas.

I recently experienced a blow up with a member of my immediate family over Thanksgiving over something very silly. What makes matters worse is that we will see each other again for Christmas, which will definitely make things interesting, to say the very least. Now, of course I love this family member, but I tell you what–Lord help me if they start acting up (especially in my home of all places) because I might just lose it. Am I the only one who has that certain family member that just knows how to push the right buttons? It’s not that I go looking for a fight but why should I get walked over just so that someone else can have a good time?

One thing I have come to realize is that people regardless of blood connections will act how they are going to act. As much as we may try to switch up a situation, there’s oftentimes no helping a helpless cause if you know what I mean. While I was already caught off guard with my recent family altercation, I am taking this time before Christmas to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for our next interaction. One thing is certain; if you’re truly beefing with someone in your family to the point that it makes it uncomfortable for others, you might want to consider not spending the holidays together until you can sort out your mess. It’s not that you are trying to be childish but do step back if it’s that serious. In my case it’s more about a difference in personalities and how one handles their business that seems to be our setback – and as mentioned before, this person is a member of my immediate family (don’t want to put their business out there) so certain avenues may not be the wisest.

I have never liked the saying “blood is thicker than water” because truth be told I have a ton of friends who are closer to me than my own family. On the other hand, the holiday season is about giving thanks, time with loved ones and forgiveness in many ways. Even if I’m facing family drama I personally don’t want to carry that mess (a.k.a. excess baggage) into the new year. Sorry, but I refuse to give a situation that much power.

So what’s a person to do if they have family drama that will trickle into the holiday season? Strap on your big girl panties and take the high road because the bottom line is you give a person or situation power with how you chose to react. Even if someone is acting ratchet, don’t entertain it or get sucked up into it. Take the high road and set the example because obviously, they just don’t know how to act. If that dramatic person is going to stay in your home or vice versa, plan ahead by creating group outings where you don’t have to spend so much one-on-one time together, or take a few breathers throughout your trip by shopping solo, catching a movie or just getting out of the house. Heck, you might even want to consider staying with another family member if you know you are going to walk into the lion’s den. And please talk things out prior to the holiday if you can. Communication is key and tends to be the missing component that makes us assume we know how the other person feels. Sometimes all it takes is a sit down or phone call to hash things out.

How will you deal with your family drama this holiday season?

So What Are You Saying? What His Texts Mean When He’s Mad

November 4th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Fighting over text is probably the least effective way to handle an issue. But, sometimes, you know that if you get on the phone you’ll just scream, or an argument happens to come up when one of you is stuck around other people for the next 12 hours, and you’re forced to decide what your next move is based on a few typed words. Here is what his texts mean when he’s mad.

7 Things Men Do Instead Of Fight And How To Deal With It

September 24th, 2013 - By Julia Austin
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Do you ever feel like you’re having an argument with yourself, even though your boyfriend is standing right in the room?! That’s because men are experts at deflecting, avoiding and denying. Here are 7 things men do instead of fight.

Hot Mess: Mom Charged For Encouraging Daughter To Fight Girl Who Used The N Word

July 18th, 2013 - By Veronica Wells
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Source: YouTube

Source: YouTube

A video of two girls from Binger, Oklahoma fighting went viral recently. It’s not something that you wouldn’t find on World Star on an average day; but what makes this video different is that the mother of one of the girl’s, not only watched but encouraged her daughter to continue fighting her former friend.

There are conflicting stories as to why the July 10 fight between the two 15 year olds started in the first place. Whitney Irvin claims the two were arguing over a boy, while Aliyah White says that she attacked Whitney after she called her the N word.

We’ll never know what happened really but if Whitney did indeed call Aliyah the N word she more than paid for it. The video, which is a bit graphic, shows Aliyah punching, slapping, dragging Whitney by her hair and even kicking her at one point. While all of this is going on you can hear Aliyah’s mother Alicia encouraging her daughter in the background yelling out: “Kick her a$$!” and “Don’t Stop!”

She ain’t right.

But Alicia White, the 38 year old mother, told Binger police “that [fighting] is how they handled things when she was growing up and that she thought it served Whitney right for talking about her daughter and calling her such names as the n-word.”

No remorse from Mama.

While it doesn’t seem like Alicia regrets her actions, she might have to pay for them. She was recently charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If convicted, she could face up to a year in jail or have to pay a fine of up to $1,000.

Both teenage girls and Cari Irvin, Whitney’s mother, speak about the altercation and how they want to move forward in the video below.

I do find it funny that Whitney never denied using the ‘n word’ and that her justification of not being racist was that she was friends with her already. Severe side eye. 

And while I’m inclined to believe this whole thing was probably racially motivated, it doesn’t excuse Momma White standing there egging her daughter on. She really didn’t need to do that, especially since it was very clear that Aliyah didn’t need any additional help.

What do you think about this story? Should Alicia White go to jail or have to pay a fine for encouraging her daughter to fight?

Diddy Ain’t Havin’ No Foolery On His New Network, Says He Will Rep Music The Right Way

June 27th, 2013 - By La Truly
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Judy Eddy/

Judy Eddy/

Having stolen away from the limelight for a time, we almost forgot about Sean “P-Diddy” Combs — that is, until we heard he had signed a deal for a brand new music television network. Some were ecstatic because it seems that anything Puffy touches turns to gold (Ok, except “Diddy Dirty Money”). Others were skeptical that his expertise with music would not translate to a full television network.

However, his resolve for the mission of his new REVOLT TV network is reassuring as he stated to Billboard:

“Yes. As far as the DNA of the shows that we will carry, there will be a rawness to them. We will not be doing a bunch of reality shows. We’ll be doing music-driven shows that will be exposing you to the discovery and curation of new talent. We’ll also be doing in-depth  interviews, we’ll be doing shows that will go into social issues with different panels and debates. We’ll be doing our version of a Barbara Walters/Oprah interview but with someone from this generation and of this generation. We’ll be going to where the pulse of music is happening and we’ll be covering it in the way ESPN will cover a sports event – with that level of urgency and seriousness.”

Diddy went on to expound upon his television credentials for those who doubt his expertise in the industry:

“But, as far as doing shows, I’ve been with Viacom for six years and I was the number one producer of shows from 18-34 and I plan on continuing down that street but also strategically that I represent music in the right way. And when you tune into Revolt, you’ll see musical content and you won’t see a reality show with fighting that has nothing to do with music.”

Sounds reassuring…Are you excited for the Fall launch of the new network? Do you think it will do well in a time where music tv really hasn’t been MUSIC tv for years?