All Articles Tagged "fighting"
Sometimes the news will make you question, what is life really about?
On Saturday afternoon at 4:30 p.m. a 42-year-old Philadelphia women and two other women were involved in a brawl at Cherry Hill Mall over — get this — a space in the mall’s parking lot. According to Daily Mail, not many details about the fight have been disclosed but The Courier Post did release this interesting detail:
One of the two women bit the victim so hard, a portion of her finger was almost severed.
Though the victim was in stable condition by Sunday afternoon at Cooper University Hospital in Camden, the woman who assaulted her had yet to be found to press charges. Her image was captured on a mall security camera, but all authorities know is she’s a black woman with an afro who was wearing sunglasses and a black coat and was driving an Audi sedan in a dark color.
Police are asking that those who witnessed the fight or can identify the assaulter contact authorities at the Cherry Hill Police Department at (856) 488-7828.
Below is video news report about this investigation.
I’m sorry but grown women are not supposed to fight. That’s what the little cousins and nieces are for.
I say that in (sort of) jest but I do have to raise eyebrows when I read stories about women of a certain age, still bringing the ruckus in dank nightclubs. And of course, I’m alluding to TMZ’s story about 42-year old Chrissy Lampkin being arrested yesterday morning for aggravated assault and disorderly conduct after allegedly beating another woman down in a New Jersey bar. According to TMZ, the alleged beat down came after Lampkin got pissed that the alleged victim accidentally bumped into someone – after taking an unauthorized seat on the same lounge sofa they happened to be seated at.
I’m sure (hoping) that there is more to this story. However judging solely based on how Lampkin used to jump off on women, with virtually little provocation, during the first couple of seasons of “Love & Hip Hop: NY,” it is not hard to believe that she probably went a little HAM on the alleged poor girl. And if the reports are true, I have to say that this is a pretty sad situation for Lampkin as well. I don’t know about the rest of you grown women but fist-fighting seems kind of silly, just like a grown woman wearing ponytails and bangs – in the front and in the back.
Personally my need to aggressively compete, or what I swore at the time was my right to self-defense, wore off in my late twenties. The last time I remember it well: My very best friend and I were in the bathroom of well known Philly lounge, when these strange women approached us and asked my best friend if she knew a dude named Darnell? Of course she didn’t and that’s what we told the girl before walking back into the main lounge area. Ten minutes later, our new friends from the bathroom reappeared. This time, they sat on the other end of the couch and stared us down accusingly. We did our best to ignore them, although it was obvious they had no intention of being ignored. The ring leader started in again, “Are you sure don’t know Darnell?” It was a question but it was clear by her tone the answer was irrelevant. Needless to say, we were past the point of annoyance. Our egos were telling us to bait this girl on. After all, she and her corny goon-squad came over here looking for trouble. And ain’t no way, we are going to let them, get the best of us. But what exactly would we feel the need to prove? My best friend and I shared a similar glance. It was one of totally weariness and boredom. We were on the same page. And without even saying a word, my best friend and I got up, left that club and found a less contentious and friendlier place to party.
It might seem punk-ish to some but nowadays, I do my best to avoid fighting. Trust me, it is not out of fear of taking a loss. More so, it is really out of concern of the consequences. Like loss of employment. Or a messed up face and other permanent scaring. Or medical bills, or even being legally responsible for someone else’s medical bills. Or even prison. In short, fighting is for young girls and boys, who don’t have to pay fully for their lifestyles. That is not to say that I haven’t cursed out a deserving person or two – or several. And even through my thirties, I have even been tested to the point where I have threatened to put them paws on ‘em. However it never went any farther than that because I just wasn’t going to let someone have control over my emotions like that. And there is just as much power, and winning for that matter, in walking away as there is diving head first into an unnecessary “fight” that does more to harm you than it does to move you forward in life.
Plus, I really do believe that with age and experience comes wisdom. The wisdom to not only get better at picking your battles but also the skill of defense without having to Hulk-smash everything in sight. A nice eye roll and a shady comment for starters. Heck, walk away while theatrically, and publicly, declaring your obliviousness to why you mad. Trust, that bit of humiliation cuts way deeper than a punch ever could. Short of acting out on some of hormonal imbalance, food allegory, diabetic reaction or truly the act of self defense, the act of fighting in the club is just a matter of maturity – or lack thereof.
Fighting over text is probably the least effective way to handle an issue. But, sometimes, you know that if you get on the phone you’ll just scream, or an argument happens to come up when one of you is stuck around other people for the next 12 hours, and you’re forced to decide what your next move is based on a few typed words. Here is what his texts mean when he’s mad.
Do you ever feel like you’re having an argument with yourself, even though your boyfriend is standing right in the room?! That’s because men are experts at deflecting, avoiding and denying. Here are 7 things men do instead of fight.
A video of two girls from Binger, Oklahoma fighting went viral recently. It’s not something that you wouldn’t find on World Star on an average day; but what makes this video different is that the mother of one of the girl’s, not only watched but encouraged her daughter to continue fighting her former friend.
There are conflicting stories as to why the July 10 fight between the two 15 year olds started in the first place. Whitney Irvin claims the two were arguing over a boy, while Aliyah White says that she attacked Whitney after she called her the N word.
We’ll never know what happened really but if Whitney did indeed call Aliyah the N word she more than paid for it. The video, which is a bit graphic, shows Aliyah punching, slapping, dragging Whitney by her hair and even kicking her at one point. While all of this is going on you can hear Aliyah’s mother Alicia encouraging her daughter in the background yelling out: “Kick her a$$!” and “Don’t Stop!”
She ain’t right.
But Alicia White, the 38 year old mother, told Binger police “that [fighting] is how they handled things when she was growing up and that she thought it served Whitney right for talking about her daughter and calling her such names as the n-word.”
No remorse from Mama.
While it doesn’t seem like Alicia regrets her actions, she might have to pay for them. She was recently charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. If convicted, she could face up to a year in jail or have to pay a fine of up to $1,000.
Both teenage girls and Cari Irvin, Whitney’s mother, speak about the altercation and how they want to move forward in the video below.
I do find it funny that Whitney never denied using the ‘n word’ and that her justification of not being racist was that she was friends with her already. Severe side eye.
And while I’m inclined to believe this whole thing was probably racially motivated, it doesn’t excuse Momma White standing there egging her daughter on. She really didn’t need to do that, especially since it was very clear that Aliyah didn’t need any additional help.
What do you think about this story? Should Alicia White go to jail or have to pay a fine for encouraging her daughter to fight?
Having stolen away from the limelight for a time, we almost forgot about Sean “P-Diddy” Combs — that is, until we heard he had signed a deal for a brand new music television network. Some were ecstatic because it seems that anything Puffy touches turns to gold (Ok, except “Diddy Dirty Money”). Others were skeptical that his expertise with music would not translate to a full television network.
However, his resolve for the mission of his new REVOLT TV network is reassuring as he stated to Billboard:
“Yes. As far as the DNA of the shows that we will carry, there will be a rawness to them. We will not be doing a bunch of reality shows. We’ll be doing music-driven shows that will be exposing you to the discovery and curation of new talent. We’ll also be doing in-depth interviews, we’ll be doing shows that will go into social issues with different panels and debates. We’ll be doing our version of a Barbara Walters/Oprah interview but with someone from this generation and of this generation. We’ll be going to where the pulse of music is happening and we’ll be covering it in the way ESPN will cover a sports event – with that level of urgency and seriousness.”
Diddy went on to expound upon his television credentials for those who doubt his expertise in the industry:
“But, as far as doing shows, I’ve been with Viacom for six years and I was the number one producer of shows from 18-34 and I plan on continuing down that street but also strategically that I represent music in the right way. And when you tune into Revolt, you’ll see musical content and you won’t see a reality show with fighting that has nothing to do with music.”
Sounds reassuring…Are you excited for the Fall launch of the new network? Do you think it will do well in a time where music tv really hasn’t been MUSIC tv for years?
Mind Your Business, Lady: One Of Nate Dogg’s Baby’s Mothers Trying To Stop Child Support To Another!
This is really stupid.
According to TMZ, Rhoda Mouton filed papers in Los Angeles Superior Court last week in an attempt to have a judge deny Omena Norris’ child support increase request.
Mouton, who has the elder child (a teenaged son) by Nate Dogg, says that Norris lied in her documents when she said that her seven year old son with Nate has not received any social security checks. In fact, Mouton says Norris’ child received $694 per month from Social Security.
Nate Dogg died in 2011 due to complications of multiple strokes.
Norris, who currently receives $1,624 monthly for her son, would like an increase to $1,846 per month. Mouton says that since she doesn’t have a good enough reason about why she needs this increase, the judge should deny it. What’s crazier is Mouton says Norris’ child support should be decreased to $802 per month.
This is all so weird. Why is one woman worried about what the next woman is getting as long as her son is being taken care of as well? Perhaps they don’t get along and that’s fine but..mind your business. Could it be that Mouton feels more of a sense of “entitlement” because her son is older? Either way, it doesn’t even matter.
No word yet on when the judge will make his ruling.
We Do More Arguing Than Talking: How To Deal And What It Means When You And Your Man Can’t Seem To Stop Fighting
Every couple does it …and I’m not talking about sex, I’m referring to arguing, bickering, quarreling or whatever you’d like to call it. All normal couples fight–be it about jealousy, differences, anxieties, money, sex, work, forgetfulness, children or housework, everyone’s doing it.
There’s nothing wrong with a bit of disagreement. In fact, it can put things into perspective, it can reveal truth, and it can provide understanding about exactly where you and your partner stand in your relationship. However, it’s when you aren’t able to stop fighting that you should be concerned. When arguments become ongoing, trouble seems to brew just as things seem to finally settle, or light bickering becomes biting remarks, then you need to consider what’s happening beneath the surface of all that back-and-forth.
Depending solely on your situation and the level of growing animosity between the two of you, this fighting can mean a number of things –though probably not anything good. While the reasons why couples fight have already been indicated, the underlying explanation for why couples perpetually fight hasn’t been. The roots of these fights can be as basic as one person always made to feel wrong, made to feel inadequate, not feeling valued or appreciated, not properly healing from a previous relationship, the relationship not being made a priority, or issues with commitment. But because of insecurities and a shared inability to be honest, couples tend to argue about everything except the actual issue. When you and your significant other find that you’re in the same argument over and over again, there’s a strong possibility that either someone feels that they aren’t being heard or something important isn’t being said.
So, if you’re afraid that you’re in a crumbling relationship that’s ruled by anxiety and confrontation, there are a few things you can do to assess the situation, and the first thing you can do is sit down and sort out the facts. Divide fact from fiction, worries from realities, and write down the last few arguments that you’ve had, what sparked those conversations, what ended those arguments …if those arguments ended, what escalated the arguments, how disputes are usually resolved, what the patterns are, and if there is something that you want to convey to your significant other that you’re not able to say. You can easily ask your significant other to do the same, hoping that if they are as committed to the relationship as you are, they won’t take issue with putting aside time to understand the complications in your relationship. The aim is to be as honest as possible when examining the rifts in your relationship, and eventually have a candid discussion about the conclusions that you’ve come to. Remember, when you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings, try not to sound accusatory, and be sure that you’re both being heard. If you two are able to get through a frank and honest conversation, and prevail at a better place than you were before, then you should be comforted by the durability of your relationship.
Drake hasn’t done much press in a while but on Friday night, he dropped in on Elliott Wilson’s show at East Village Radio (EVR for short) and gave what was a really good interview. l Miss Info was cool enough to post it in its entirety.
For quite some time, Drake and Wilson discussed music in terms of where Drake is in the recording process for his new album (he’s actually dropping two singles next wee), if he’s working with new producers and how he feels about other artists and particularly, how he tends to “open his door” to new artists and give them a platform.
Awesome, right? It actually was. Well, within the last 15 minutes, Wilson started talking to Drake about how he hates the “dog and pony show” of listening parties and interviews and the media “entrapment.” Wilson mentioned how when Chris Brown goes on interviews, people always ask him about Drake. Drake, very casually, responded:
“Don’t ask me s–t about that man when I come up there (“there” being at a media outlet for interviews). And leave than man alone. Stop preying on his insecurities. His insecurities are the fact that I make better music than him. That I’m more poppin’ than him. And at one point in life th woman he loves fell in my lap. I did what a real —– would do and treated her with respect.”
Welp, there it is! Drake acknowledged that they do have a problem and either it’ll work itself out or not but that the media won’t get “anything” out of a rap battle between them because Drake “does this for real and actually good at it.” Wilson was rapping it up by saying “…yeah, you we don’t need that situation and Drake added, “I’m not thinking about that man or that girl.”
There were no subliminal messages there, folks. They don’t like each other but Drake believes that the media (and probably his own fans) hype everything up and make situations bigger than they really are.
So what’s next? Talking about each other’s mothers? Am I instigating? Sure but he did the interview and wanted people to talk so I think this is an even trade.
Check out the “messiest” part of the interview below:
Why The Discussion About Colorism Won’t Change Or End Unless We’re Honest With Ourselves And Deal With Our Own Pain
Aside from being a big topic of discussion after A$AP Rocky’s words about women of a darker complexion needing to pass on bright red lipstick, colorism was also the topic of discussion on Twitter a few weeks ago. And the question posed that intrigued me to the point of response was simply:
“Will colorism end without discussing it? Have things improved due to the relative silence over the subject?
I didn’t have to think very hard about that. Every discussion I had been a part of up to a few months ago and every discussion I silently watched unfold ended in hurt feelings and intense anger on one or both sides. For a long time I just chalked it up to years of, “Well that’s just the way it is.” But seeing the discussion get started on Twitter once again, I really got to the root of why I believed simply DISCUSSING colorism will not improve anything.
I grew up being called “high yella” and enduring jabs from classmates telling me that I was trying to be a white girl. When I wasn’t being dissed I was being asked, “Are you mixed? What are you?” People were genuinely interested when they thought I was some exotic mixture of ethnic blood. When I convinced them I was simply and awesomely black, interest was lost. I don’t have time to get into how that tug-of-war effed up my sense of self royally. Nor do I want to go into it. Why? Because there will always be a few who are darker than me who will be outraged by the fact that I even allude to struggling with color issues. And that’s fine, but the discussion about colorism will NOT improve or erase colorism because a great many people just DO NOT respect the other side’s struggle. And if there is no respect between dark and light, there can never be a discussion that will make things better. If there is no foundation of empathy and compassion, what good will a discussion do?
My sister is a few shades darker than me and for years we fought like cats and dogs. I had no real understanding of why. I thought she just hated me and I left it at that. Fine. I hated her too.
It wasn’t until last summer, both of us in our late twenties, that we sat and had a real conversation about it. She revealed to me that her whole life she felt people cared about me more because I was lighter and deemed prettier than her. It blew my mind because I never considered colorism in my own household with my own family. It was “out there,” but not “in here” in my mind. I just thought she had the devil in her when we fought. I had no idea how deep a hurt she was dealing with. But once I shut up and invited her to speak freely, I got it. I understood her and she understood me. But it wasn’t until we decided to drop our defenses and hear each other out objectively that a conversation about colorism would help us to progress. We had to grow up first. And that is something most folks can’t/won’t do. They want to stay stuck in their own little worlds of hurt ON BOTH SIDES of the debate and not acknowledge the pain and frustration on the other side of the line. That is and will always be counterproductive.
The other reason that a discussion about colorism won’t improve the situation is because no one wants to take self-inventory. It’s easy to say “I’m dark-skinned and I’ve been discriminated against” or “I’m light-skinned and been unfairly judged” and never look to see what part you might have played in the discrimination/unfair judgment by someone who isn’t on your side of it all. Were you a light-skinned child who teased and berated darker-skinned girls? Did you stand by and ALLOW it to happen even if you never partook in such behavior? Were you an insecure child of a darker complexion who bullied the child lighter than you because you felt inferior? Let’s get real. We all have hurt and pain, but how often do we dig deeper to see what hurt we’ve inflicted on others?
If we can be honest with ourselves first, and deal with our pain/pre-judgments, then a progressive discussion can happen. But not before. Take it from a sister who is still digging deep daily, learning about herself and others and striving to become better.
La Truly’s writing is powered by a lifetime of anecdotal proof that awkward can transform to awesome and fear can cast its crown before courage. La seeks to encourage thought, discussion and change among young women through her writing. Check her out on Twitter: @AshleyLaTruly and AboutMe www.about.me/latruly.