10 Ways to Tell That You’re Being Used

July 26, 2011 ‐ By Toya Sharee

“Lots of people want to ride in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with youwhen the limo breaks down.”
-Oprah Winfrey

You may have recently read YourTango.com’s great tips on setting appropriate boundaries and not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of (“Stop Being Used: Boundaries to Protect Yourself”).  But what about when you’re unaware of people’s ulterior motives?  Just because someone allows themselves to be used, doesn’t justify taking their kindness for weakness, but too many times people manipulate an opportunity for romance or friendship for their own personal gain.

I’m sure Oprah Winfrey has had her fair share of crossing paths with people who otherwise wouldn’t think twice about her if she wasn’t a billionaire queen of media.  So if anyone knows how to spot someone that will be hesitant to get that bus pass, it’s her.  If you can identify with any of the following signs, it may be time to toss that relationship out at the next exit:


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  • 7. I met this girl one day. It was originally supposed to be romantic but we both somehow became friend zoned. I was totally cool with that. (She’s cute, but too short and thin). Anyway, we would get really close, support each other through our crazy exes and whatnot. After a while whenever I wanted to do something somehow she was always too “busy” so I focused on other friends. 

  • Anthony

    Thank you.
    I know exactly few people in my life has used me and it fits in some of these issue's. Existing one I'm with now has used me and been with 4 years. Now, I have to try and becareful with her. This time, I am trying to use her as much as possible as she did with me. She has destroyed me through police this year with two avo's by some one else that she got involved with and lucky I won them all. She made me give up my exercise 4 years ago and now I'm over 125kgs. Lately she is saying that I need to see psychiatrist, 3 times I have already seen them through her. She has admit the truth that she took advantage of me as for her companionship and for her insecure thing. Just to name a few.

    Now, I am stuck and don't know what to do. Should I leave her like I did 2 and a halve years ago or stay and put with up her until she is dead and use her as much as possible and hoping that my life will be back on track and peace of mind and get fit again.

    What do you think? Thank you very much for the info, it help a lot.
    I owe you one. Thank you. All the best, bye.

  • LeslieLive'sBetter

    This is so true. I'm so glad I spent the last two years cutting the people out of my life that deceitful and bitter hearts, were exposed to me through God's grace. I got on my knees in 2005 and ask God to expose people's true feelings about me no matter how bad it hurt me and I got just that. It took a while to accept it because some of these people I had known for so long but I'm thankful for that now because I no longer waste time on "users or losers". I found out who had my back when I lost everything and had to start my life over. WOW! It truely made me a stronger, better (not bitter) person. I really do take the time to treasure the real pleasures of life. Don't be angry if you allowed yourself to be used just learn from it and make sure it dos not happen again and remeber that forgiving someone does not mean that you have o trust them again or let them back into your circle to be taken for granted again.

  • btowne

    Once certain people find out you can handle your business, got a little money put away, yeah they will do all they can to mess up your game.

  • LadyCheeksUK

    wow finding out i would be considered a USER as i fit into most of those categories is pretty bad. * Bows head and walks away in shame 🙁 *

  • Diva

    @Miss White: Thanks for your non advice, and you were only here anyway just to promote YOUR wack site. Get a life; the article was helpful to many. If you don't like it, perhaps you should move on and stop being bitter. :/

    • Thanks for paying attention and checking out the site. If you thought it was wack, I can respect that. Actually, my comment wasn't advice. It was just that…a comment, that included a link with my perspective. I don't see the need to type a paragraph, if I've already addressed the same issue elsewhere. If someone is interested in my perspective they can get a fuller version there. That all. I come to the site because I like it. You clearly come to knock others.

      Ah well. Enjoy your day! 😉 Oh and if this article helped you…I'm glad.

  • No offense to anyone, but truth be told, if you need a list to tell you that you're being used, you've probably got bigger problems. Starting with not knowing your self worth. My homegirl learned this the hard way – http://mynameismisswhite.blogspot.com/2011/02/for

  • Juicywetbox

    This was a really great article n i can relate to sum of these scenerios, i had to cut sum fake a** women loose who were judgemental jezebel hypocrites that smile n my face n stab me n my back n a no good con artist low life under cover drug addict but im wiser now

  • Bill

    How ABOUT you stop capslocking random WORDS? Because IT is really annoying to READ.

  • JustAshley

    Great article. I think it really does boil down to intuition. If something doesn't feel right deep down – be sure to keep your distance from that suspicious person. DON'T overthink it and convince yourself why you should continue to chill with or do things for that person. If it feels wrong- 9 times out of 10- it is wrong.


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  • Lisa

    Great points & yes, I know a few that fit at least one of these criteria.