My Fiancé Cheated At His Bachelor Party. Should I Call Off The Wedding?
Typically, bachelor parties are a time when grooms and their closest friends get together for a night of celebrating and cutting up. Depending on the man, sometimes liquor and strippers are involved, which doesn’t always end well if the man of the hour has poor judgment.
A bride-to-be recently turned to Reddit hoping to get some advice after her fiancé got a bit more than a lap dance at his bachelor party. Both the bride and the groom are 28 years of age and have been together for three years. The groom confessed to his indiscretions almost immediately after the incident happened. The bride explains:
My fiancé went to the mountains with a group of his friends for his bachelor party this weekend. I knew they were thinking of going to a strip club, and I told my fiancé that I was fine with it. I’m very laidback, and I trust him. He’s incredibly devoted to me, and I have never worried about cheating.
With that said, a few of his friends got a little carried away at the strip club and paid for my fiancé to get some alone time with the stripper. The stripper basically jerked my fiancé off (first with her hands, then with her [breast]). My fiancé told me right after it happened because he felt so ashamed. He was horrified that he let it get that far.
While she appreciates her guy’s honesty, this is infidelity we’re talking about and would serve as a red flag to almost any woman who is about to get married.
He never lies to me, so I appreciate him telling me, but I really don’t know how to feel about this. This is SO out of character for my fiancé; he rarely drinks, doesn’t party, and he has so far been an incredible partner for the three years we’ve been together. I just feel so…weird about it. I know he would never do anything like this in any other circumstance, and I know it will never happen again. Also, had it just been a lap dance, I wouldn’t care as much. But he let someone do something to him that’s so much more intimate. Is it hypocritical of me to be upset that he did this but before he left I told him I was ok with him going to a strip club?
I have so far talked this through with my fiancé, calmly. We’ve both shared how we feel, and he knows he f-cked up. He is destroyed by his actions. While I know he is genuine in all of this, I feel like he should never have agreed to go alone in a room with a stripper. I know strip clubs are common for bachelor parties, but I feel that this behavior is not. Maybe I’m naïve?
My fiancé offered to give me space and stay with his parents for a bit while I have time to think. I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to just let this go. Is this something I should just chalk up to getting caught in the moment at a bachelor party? Or would you consider this level of interaction with a stripper cheating?
What would you advise this woman to do?