Moms Be Like: 15 Hilarious Quotes Reminding Us Why We Love Our Mamas

June 9, 2014  |  
1 of 15

Even when she’s on our last nerve we can’t be mad at her for saying these things.

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Not Your Personal Chef

Well can somebody fix me a plate?

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So the whoopin you just gave me doesn’t count?

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This Fork

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

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At 4 p.m.

But I’m not sleepy…

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Fast Food

If you gave me some allowance I would…

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I’m Not Going To Do My Kids Like This…

Yes you will.

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You Need to Get Better At Being Psychic

Her:    “You know that’s not the one I wanted.”
You:   :/

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Every Time

Do they teach this move in mom school?

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Can’t ever ask for nothin’. You just wait til I’m grown.

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Every Mom Ever

Second only to “I’ll beat the black off you.”

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“Don’t make me come in here and tell you again.”

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You shouldn’t be giving the milk away for free.

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Two seconds later: Did you hear me? Answer me!

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At the Store

But can I just have this one?

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You’re Alright

Just put some butter on it.

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  • IvLiberty

    Angry black woman stereotype…my mother is black and she never talked to me that way.

    • bigdawgman

      What’s so angry about the purses, or the phone?


        Lol!!!!!!! I used to get ” I aint no taxi!!!!!” I would volunteer her car to tote all my gf’s around..And my all time favorite ” You look like nan the 1st reader to me!!!” and I still dont know who that is to this day…I remember saying to myself when I get grown and have my kids I am never gonna make them go and get my stuff and now that I have my daughter I call her from the bedroom to get me something that is right there!!!! And my little one uses this line to this day..If she is getting fussed at and she mumbles something under her breath and I am in ear shot I come flying back out and say ” Who do you think you are talking 2?????” She just like me when I was a kid she will say with the quickness ” I wasnt talking to you I was talking to the cat…” I wanna crack-up so bad because I remember saying the samething but it was the dog!!!!! moms you gotta LOVE them!!!!


          Another classic I remember being told that if I come in the house 1 more time I gotta stay in..OMG it was hard as heck to sit there and hold your water because you were afraid that if you went back in that house 1 more time and banged that screen door your tail was in for the rest of the day!!!!!! I would tell my gf’s on the stoop be quite because if my momma hears me I gotta stay inside…And let me tell you dont let her call you (now mind you you are 2 blocks away ) and you dont come a running!!!! Whew…All my friends had to say was your mother was calling you and you were home with the quickness!!!! Shoot if I came in the house after those street lights came on I knew what to expect…Lol..Heck we all got outta dodge when those lights came on you better be in the house or crossing that door sill !!!!

          • bigdawgman

            Shoot, when I knew I was gonna be late… I just stayed out later. Already gettin’ a whupping, might as well have more fun. hee My mom worked all the time, we could go in and out as we pleased. Man, I wish my kids would go outside….

        • bigdawgman

          LOL! I catch myself doing stupid stuff my parents said/did that I told myself I’d never do. Man, I caught myself saying “Because I told you to!” I was like, damn, I can’t believe I just said that. Playing fetch with the kids is so embarrassing, but we just can’t stop doing it! Poor little slaves…. lol

          • SWISSYBOOTS

            Lol how about ” I am gonna give your a** something to cry for!!!!” Or they give you a spanking and then tell you to shut that noise up!!!! I would think to myself I would not be crying if you had not touched me!!! I remember I did the death thing and repeated something my mother said to one of her gf’s in conversation..Chile I think I will remember that behind whupping to this day!!!!!!

  • Maya Belle

    This is an example of how things get passed down. Children are always learning, even if they don’t realize it until they become adults and hear themselves saying the same things to their children that their mother said to them.

  • PolkaDots

    All these were h3lla funny!

  • cantcommittoahairstyle

    Lawd…the dishes and purses….#storyofmylife even to this day in my 20s. Smh.

  • OutHerSpace….

    ROTFLMAOO @ “You better McDonalds yo a** in that room and clean it !! That was me !! AHHH I LOVE YOU MOM !!!!!!!

  • MocaPretty

    In tears!!!!!!!!!!! My mother has said half of those up there. LOL

  • A

    Yup, that’s my childhood right there.


    Lmao!!! Great! All of em.

  • MonicaT

    Wow I laughed so hard!!!! My mom didn’t play! She could talk to us with her eyes that’s how good she was. Where ever we went her words were don’t touch nothing, don’t say nothing and don’t ask for nothing and stay out grown folks business!!!! The other thing if we were on the phone she was notorious for picking up the phone and saying “get off the phone” Wow miss my mom so much!!!!!!!

    • PolkaDots

      Yes about the phone thing – How about my mom got on the phone and told me that I don’t love anyone but HER AND GOD NOW GET OFF THE PHONE – Dude my boyfriend cracked up laughing on the phone. Crazy times!

  • AlexB

    “Yo daddy ain’t no glass maker.”
    “This is no romper-damn room.”
    Us: “What’s for dinner?”
    Mom: “Food”
    Us: “What kind of food?”
    Mom: “The kind that you eat.”
    Us: “What kind of food that you eat?”
    Mom: “The kind that you chew up and swallow.”

    “Play with me if you want to.”

  • Jesse

    MAN would I be scared as hell coming back home after I missed the school bus LOL

  • Christan-Joy Demeritt

    That stock photo they use for the ‘McDonald’s money’ meme makes me cringe every time I see it. It’s like my arch nemesis stereotype that I try so hard to be contrary to coming back to defeat me any time someone uses it…

  • Notorious

    This is on point

  • ERIC1981

    They left these out:
    “Ya’ll gone eat what I cooked”……
    “I’m not saying this for my health”………..
    “You get that from your daddy side of the family, them people triflin”…….
    “Don’t make me repeat myself, i’m not saying it again”……….
    “When you start paying these bills then you have company whenever you want”……..

  • Andiegrl

    Lol! @ the one about “bring me my purse”

  • yep

    I just saw this in the store. Little girl wanted a back pack (I know it’s summer). She asked mom and got a stern “No”; but she kept asking about 5 more times. Mom finally went off… “Don’t keep asking me the same thing after I have already said no. My answer is not going to change but I’m about to change ’cause you ticking me off.” Quiet!

  • MsLadyE

    My mother never said any of these things, but they were funny!

  • Ayisha

    This is so True! !!!

  • Momma Dee Tha Q.U.E.E.N

    Lemme guess b4 I click:
    Hand me the remote.
    Turn off light.
    Being me my ____.
    Close the door.

  • Tawnymarie

    This is too funny

  • simiyalala

    Yep, that Kimberly get my phone, resonated with me. In fact, my mom still does that and I am in my 30s.

    • Angie

      I have a two level home and I call my kids ALL the way downstairs to answer the house phone or get me water and I am MUCH closer, just too dang lazy sometimes to get up!!! Sad but OH SO TRUE!!! (:

      • bigdawgman

        These kids got it so easy. They just have to fetch the remote, they don’t have to change the channels manually, or fix the damn aluminum foil on the antennas to get the station right.

        • Angie

          ROFLMBO @ fix the aluminum foil! OMG! You are so RIGHT! You made my day with that comment! 🙂

  • Yvette

    Oh the memories….R.I.P. Mama. I miss you!

  • Aaliyah Noelle

    The very first one is so true. EVERY cookout.
    “McDonald’s yo azs in that room…” Black moms really do use it against you

  • Jayda Brown

    I can soooo identity with all of them and my mom still does that today with me and my sister. 🙂

  • T. T.

    I find it so ironic that I tell my children the exact same things that I absolutely loathed my mother for saying.

    • Angie

      OMG! You are soooo on point! I say the same things my momma use to say to me and my sisters! RIH Momma! Your work continues!

    • bigdawgman

      I caught myself saying “Cause I said so!”
      I was like, dayum, I totally did that. I was so ashamed….

  • Guestest

    This was so funny and on point. Its funny tho, my momma never used that quote, “I brought you into this world and i’ll take you out.” Lol .. Edit: I laughed so hard at the one about the purse..

    • bigdawgman

      Y’all women and them damn purses. My wife keeps switching between purses, don’t nobody know which one if the current one. I even caught her getting confused a couple of times. I’ve seriously thought about throwing the other ones away, but I like sleeping in the house. hee

      • Guestest

        LMAO! Well it’s a good thing you think things through! LOL @ Her getting confused!!.. I am not very fond of purses myself but the other women in my family are..

  • Gee

    I laughed so hard until I cried. This was great!I miss my Mom so much.

  • guest

    #6 and #7 real life right there…

  • Cat88L3

    Aww, I’m getting flashbacks. R.I.P. Mom!!