8 Reasons You Might Consider Dating a White Woman

October 5, 2010  |  

First, I’ll start this article by saying, “just kidding.” I have immense loyalty to black women, and that’s all I’ve ever dated in my adult life.  But after reading the article “8 Reasons to date a white man,” I just had to respond for the brothers.   We know white men are just as imperfect as the rest of us.  But the idea that the author decided to put white males on a pedestal above black men without considering the challenges of being black in America had me fuming.  So, here are some reasons that those brothers who date white women might have decided to do so:

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  • BoyHowTrue

    Many white women have become very Disgusting today.

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  • corey

    Shameful and ignorant..and a betrayal to our race…. black men are with whie men because they have no confidence in themselves and seek submission from women. But you all feel white men are better….. until you all find out they cheat and lie to…. Black women really need to start THINKING.. you are the key

    • Estafador

      not true. I have intentionally refused to date white women. Unfortunately since I’m young broke and have no family support, that has also led me to be single. ANd I’m not even ugly. But I’m still willing to date my sisters.

  • Jake

    Very well written!!!

  • Ariana

    would like to also see lists for dating black men and women.

  • Nyomi

    I can say that black women are so evil omg. Im black and i hate being around black women. They always look for the negative in everything

  • Nyomi

    Honestly, im very biter sometimes. I dont like being around people at all. Its not just blacks its whites too. Im bipolar so maybe that has alot to do with it. But i dont really care if black men date outside of their race. Aint bothering me none. I never really cared about the topic. I tend to get on peoples nerves because so many ppl want me to react but i dont.

  • Nahla

    Black men have been dating women at a much higher ratio than black women have been dating white men. Personally, stepping outside the box and dating someone that isn’t black is a bit scary. However, I will do so with the hope that I can be appreciated for exactly who I am. Black brothers, we love you, we do. But when your women are moving ahead with life and you can’t keep up for whatever reason…that’s not a happy home.

  • black

    I think black women are vary loyal to black men I know black women have been more loyal to black men then the other way around but yes alot of our women have issues with communcating properly but to say that the white women is better i cant agrea with that nonsense all of my friends who dated.
    Them said all of them white cheated on them one the about black women they will tell you like it is

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  • great blog!

  •   Let’s be honest, “Really.”  Integration happened. A black guy growing up the suburbs has options.  Most brothers growing up knew who and what sisters went for and what they did not.  We knew that if you weren’t a baller, player, gansta or step-show frat boy, the odds were against you.  

    –Cobra

  • WhiteGirlLOL

    LOL Ok, as a white woman, I have to say, I’ve met plenty of white women who do what black women are accused of (minus the preacher thing). Especially the man hating tirade, you’d be surprised at how many white women belittle men, or blame men for not liking them for being successful and not realizing the reason they’re single is their attitude. Also, white girls dump guys for being unstable pretty regularly. It’s NOT a good thing to be unemployed in the white community, there is a lot of pressure to get a job. Not just any job a GOOD job that is in your field, you’re considered a failure if you’re not working in the field you just got a degree in. Finances make up about 90% of white people arguments in relationships, amplify those arguments by adding a kid to the situation. I dare say finances and job stress is the number one reason white people get divorced. Anyway, just letting you know, not everything is perfect over in “white land”. ;D Uhm… But seriously.. is the preacher worship really a thing? I haven’t really met any black friends that go to church so…

  • Mightyamy

    that girl in the picture looks awesome! I bet she is a nice friend.

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  • Tia

    "Interracial" dating should be the last thing on our minds when we look around at our communities. Preserving who you are, trying to uplift our young people should be a priority, not dating white people. I feel like so many people have bought into the lie that white is better and whites have it together so therefore, we must associate ourselves with them, marry them, whatever.

    Perhaps alot of these white people and others have just been thrown into the midst of the "gender war" and it snot really about them but what they represent. I factually eel sorry for those of them who geniunely get involved with so many of us who seem to want to escape what we are. I really am afraid for the future of Blacks in America

  • Tia

    i found the first series about "reasons to date a white man" to be debasing, putting all black men in one category, telling the world that we don't think much of each other, and now you retort with this. that's the problem, that's the cycle in our community. no answers, just repeitition of slander and name calling and you did this, bu t then what? in the meantime there is a %70 percent out of wedlock rate, boys are growing up without fathers, clueless as to what manhood is, they need mentors, so do girls. so many of our young men are in prison. marriage rates are low, we lag behind in education. but this is what matters?

  • barbara

    I am a white woman who has dated several different races, I don’t think that it is fair to judge any race by their relationship issues. We are all different and yet all our problems are the same. It’s how we as people handle it. Judgement is For those who don’t understand. You have totaly missed the mark on women in general. We all want love, kindness, fairness,and faithfullness

  • Aneesa

    at first i thought this article was very offensive, but then i realized i'm not one of those ghetto black girls he's talking about in the article (:

  • skh_stellar_one

    As a response to "8 reasons to date a white man," well-played Dr. Watkins! Your article is cheeky yet tactful and provides substantive "food for thought."

  • Northern Cali Honey

    u go head girl w/your bad ass! But, since when does wearing natural hair, liking rock music and driving a truck make you weird?! That is what's wrong with our society. Just because another person of the SAME color doesn't act like YOU do or like the same things, places, foods, clothes that doesn't make any difference, let alone classify you as "weird" or "acting white". You like what you like period. ALL black people and white people are NOT the same. We come from different backgrounds and families who MOLD us into WHO we have become today. For me personally, I can relate BETTER to a black man, because thats what I've grown up around (black people), so I can relate, have same interests and likes. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted or cannot date a white or hispanic man, its just we can understand each other better. A man is a man period, but I'm personally attracted to people who like same things, interests etc. Let people date who they want, whats it to you?!

    • Northern Cali Honey

      The 'whats it to you' question was not for you. It is for these people in here that have issues with this shyt at this day in age. Will we ever overcome this shyt?

  • Grow Up

    "White men had a 400 year headstart"

    How many 400 year old white people do you know?

  • You made some nice points there. I looked on the internet for the topic and found most guys will agree with your blog.

  • Craig

    Sheree, I thought Dr. Boyce's response was correct. After all, black women didn't say not one word when a black woman gave eight reasons why black women should date white men.

  • Sheree

    This article is really making black women look like needy, arrogant, disrespectful, shallow, angry women who are the reason a man decides not to take care of his kids. WOW! We should just become distinct shouldn't we? Are there any nice things that black men can say about black women? I mean c'mon.. ya'll already call us hoes and b@*ches in your lyrics and only showcase us if we are half naked! You are almost as bad as slave owners who rapped us, took our families away and tried to rob us of all our strength. Author, you are pathetic!

  • justcomenting

    I DO NOT believe those white women are getting with those black men, when they don't have money…. if anything… its for sex.. and then if he has a job.. and money then they stick around…

    i went to an HBCU and seen plenty of black women dating BROKE black college guys…. SO lets not give the white woman that much credit…

    • What's a BROKE black college guys?

      Which race has students that don't struggle financially when still in school? Unless by BROKE you mean something else it is not in colleges where you are going to find successful people. These are young people trying to get education and skills whether Chinese, Whites, Indians or Blacks.

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  • anne

    This article doesn't bother me. Not at all. I'm not a cookie cutter Black woman but I know plenty of women who are.

    What I find funny is that the two "8 reason" articles is that they BOTH apply to the middle of the road, average BM and BW. Each chooses mates based on superficial traits, needs validation, is difficult to deal with and has kids.

    Yes, I know these are generalizations but I'm making a point – for Black men and women who choose to be individuals, dating outside the race makes more sense than trying to only date folks who look like you (but isn't compatible).

    If you are a Black man living in Nebraska. Yes, it makes sense. If you are a darker-hued Ph.D feminist sista expanding your options makes ALOT of sense.

    It's not about self hate. It's about self love. Loving yourself enough to know who you are and not trying to contort yourself just to find love. We aren't all a like. So let's stop pretending to be.

  • Trent

    I just have one comment about the imagery double standard in this posting. Interesting when the article was about dating White men what was shown was loving interracial couples illustrating the passages. When the article was about dating White women there was only one interracial couple illustrating and they were about as loving as two scientist in a lab. Wait they were two scientist in a lab. The messages sent by these illustrations are far different and in someways divisive. A picture after all is worth a thousand words.

  • Blkqwn7

    Oops, meant to write fat White women, not Black.

  • Blkqwn7

    LMAO, first I will correct the article writer and state that Steve Hardy might have comedian as his occupation, but he is a man that has been around for a while and knows. I did not buy his book, because I am statified with Michael Baisden book, which I store with my bibles. Other than that this artilce was hilarious! Loved it, although I did not always agree. Overall Black women need to choose better and broaden our horizons. There are many White men who have came from nothing, but created nothing into something. I concurr with Davla here. I'm dating a White man now and I will tell you they do not always have it easy as society like to portray them having! As far as Black men who do not date Black women, oh well. Not concerned at all, because usually they are the ones we do not want and dating fat Black women who comes from the White man's garbage.

  • Davia

    "Yes, white males have more money, because that’s what happens when you can oppress and rob a group of people for half a millenium. "

    Uh…My dad is white and immigrated to Canada from Russia in 1982 after living like a dog under the USSR his whole life. He worked as a janitor while putting himself through Engineering school. He had a work ethic, not an excuse. Thats why he was successful, not the color of his skin.

  • tara

    I don't understand the need to always throw the black card on the table when talking relationships. Honestly, the problems with the "black" women you described can easily be latina, asian or white. I think we, both males and females, need to take the focus off of race when it comes to the faults of our partners. Nobody is perfect but damn it always seems like black females always get the short end of the stick. My message to my strong black sistahs : don't settle for a man that can't handle you anyway, no matter what color he is. We all have our "thing" about us that most can't deal with and that's why compatibility is key! there's a reason you go through the pain, and the BS.. Because you're that much closer to finding the right man for YOU!

  • towgai

    I’m so sick and tired of this black man don’t want black women thing. So what? God made us all, and I feel that God don’t make any mistakes, and he didn’t make a mistake when he made the black woman. We are just as good as anyone else on this planet, maybe even better. The black man can date who he to wants. Black men are acting like fools over this thing with dating and marrying white women. I mean why should we black women care so much. Don’t make any difference to me if its a black, white, brown, or a yellow woman. If a black man don’t want to date me then fine, cause I have a man in my life that is far more richer, smarter, and has a lot more to give than any black man could ever offer me, and that’s Jesus Christ. So black man, you’re not the most important man in my life. Jesus is.

  • Caty

    How about the people in this world who are good and kind and want to work with a partner in life get together and leave all the haters behind? That would be a lot more productive than posting articles denigrating men and women.

    I personally want people in my life that are positive. This foolishness gives me a headache!

  • Diva

    clearly dislike**

  • Diva

    I'm not offended by this article at all. Why would I be? I know it doesn't apply to me, and anyway, I support ALL interracial relationships:) Black people clearly don't dislike each other of the opposite gender, so just date outside the race. Nothing too complicated about that:D

  • Tired Black Man

    This list is exactly why i don't mess with black women. This list might not describe all black women but it describes 99% of them.

  • professionalism

    How about you add these

    9. -Horrible sense of what attracts men

    White women actually own their hair and or do not shave themselves bald (due to chemicals/toxins) and try to call it "cute" (unless they are butch).

    A foul attitude and nastiness is often the synonym for (classy and sassy) in the minds of black women.

    10. -Constant need for over the top self validation

    While white women have been the main beneficiaries of feminism and affirmative action, most still do not need go around proclaiming how "skrong" and "edumacated" they are at the top of their lungs.

    11. Lack of humility and constantly seeking out conflict

    Most women (or people in general) no matter how obnoxious or simple minded, know when they have met their match and will retreat to piss and moan another day. Black females, especially when they are blatantly, will fight tooth and nail until they are physically put down. Then they cry foul about being hurt in a fight they intentionally started,

    12. Horrid names and naming conventions be it legal names, or names which preferred to be used in public

    How many professional 1women of other races call themselves "Gucci Princess" (or some other variation of a namebrand/stripper nickname)and post at 3AM

    Enough said….

  • Titan

    Kigali,

    My point is, he should do whatever he has to. Even if he has to drag her to court. I would drag my husband to court (God forbid that I EVER EVER need to do that!) if that's what it takes to see my child frequently, then so be it. Remember, it is NOT about the woman or man you have had this child with. It is ONLY EVER about the child. And yes, a man should run from state to state to see his child. If that';s what it takes. These are the things that make a child more rounded. He does not need to "prove he is a good dad" to anyone. He needs to make sure that his child never ever forgets that his/her father loves him/her. Not just mouth it. Be there no matter what. And it's not always about money.

  • Lisa

    OK, can someone now write an article on all the GREAT QUALITIES in black men and women. This bashing is getting ridiculous. Face it: everyone is unique. Issues come in every color. We are making each other (black men and women) look really foolish by creating these arguments.

  • OhWell79

    Well i made sure I read both articles and I will comment on both. I think the elite among us might want to get a refund on their tuition. If anything I thought an education was supposed to expose you to critical thinking and these days you have these "educated" black men and women speaking on issues while they only can use their limited exposure to humanity as a reference and bias literature. This is why I admire the everyday average black men and women in our community so much. They have deal with the smug attitudes of the educated elite/"successful" blacks folks while constantly being victimized and conned by their borthers and sisters at the bottom. They are the true heros of our community.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    Anger is an extremly destructive emotion that typically does more harm and damge to the person expressing it than that person's human target. It is an imposter emotion that usually camouflages, HURT, INSECURITY, and DISAPPOINTMENT. Most often though, it is a flemsy shield for FEAR. Anger sucks the power and authority right out of its host and it in most cases is a total waste of energy, mental capital and effort. It very rarely changes the person that it is aimed at and it usually leaves the person inwhich it is directed, feeling justified in their own foolishness and shortcomings. Why? Because anger makes people behave irrational, immature and unintellegent. It is far better to NOT suffer fools with any of your energy and to simply walk away leaving them in their own fetid mess! Or at the very least. deal with from a place of intellegentia and confidence. It is possible to tell a foolish person to "go straight to hell" and leave them with nothing else to say to you but…"thank you!" while standing flabbergasted in the wake of your aura wondering, "Am I really that stupid!" It's all in the proper delivery! 🙂

  • ole blue eyes

    @ Watkins, i could never be the reason why a black man would date a white women. if i am the reason, then the white woman with you has a serious problem…and so do you…

  • Gucci Princess

    Is this nagga living in 1991? He does not know ME! We need up to date excuses honey.. I'm hoping that "Brothas" know & understand change, growth, & that all Black women or not one in the same. I have never had success with black men, and most likely never will. I'd rather not think about color, but Black men never have anything positive to say about Black women.

    Fact is.. I'm just not that into you.

    But when I see Black love, I adore it!

    I just don't miss what I never had.

  • No You Din't

    I know white people love reading how much better they are then black people. First the white media tells them all the time, then the "black" media does too. I must laugh at the line that white women don't care about looks or finances. Yes, because it's just a coincidence that the richer a black man is the more likely he marries a white woman *wink*.

    Also yes black men can criticize black women for caring about looks because we all know black men aren't superficial at all unless you don't count caring about skin color, hair texture, facial features, butt size, and breast size, LOL.

  • College girl

    For starters, we as people need to start loving ourselves, we need to love who we are, and I'm not saying that if you're dating a white woman you dont love yourself, because that is not true. With love, color does not exist. However, when there is an ulterior motive in regards to dating a White woman, exemplified by comments displayed on this post, "white women dont complain, white women are better than black women," THEN YOU NEED TO CHECK YOURSELF. Love starts in the home and if you're not getting that at home then it's a problem. maybe your mother wasn't loving or maybe she treated you badly? If so, then you need to ponder on how you can improve your problems with your family or community instead of ascribing all Black women to the notion of angry black women syndrome, and this goes for women too. We need to start respecting our brothas. we need to look past our underlying issues and love one another. It doesnt mean that you have to solely be committed to us, but lets start showing one another some respect.

  • IY Smooth

    Hmmm…

    So Shannon I take it you fit the criteria for one of THOSE "babymommas" huh (if you have any children at all)?

    I don't mean to jack the discussion,but let me ask you this…

    WHY does a man ("a real man") who WANTS to be a FATHER to his children have to endure that kind of foolishness from a woman like that?

    The only justifiable reason I see for a woman to keep the man away from his children is if he is actually a LEGITIMATE DANGER to the well being of said child (or children).Him not being with YOU,cheating on you or not doing what you THINK he should be doing (as if he's a child himself) are NOT legitimate reasons at all!

    The reason I ask is because i've seen this sort of behavior from women for quite awhile and it always baffles me.How can you put a man through that crap that actually WANTS to be a father to his seeds?

  • Phenomenal Woman

    @ Kigall regarding a faters relationship with his children…. you are RIGHT ON POINT! As a woman, I really don't understand a female that does not see the blessing that she has in having a father of her children that gives a damn and who wants to provide for and bond with them! Children suffer when they do not have access to a healthy relationship with both parents. I would never have it said that I kept a child of mine from having contact with, respect for and the opportunity to be bonded with his/her father. People really need to grow up and stop causing long term mental and emotional harm to children simply because they won't accept that the relationship with the other parent didn't work out! Why can't people love their own children enough to decide to CO-PARENT and to give the children what they could not give each other!? If the non-custodial parent chooses to be absent, that is his/her loss, but you should still not denegrate the child's parent to the child. All children have an innate desire to be loyal to both parents and when you put them in the untenable position of having to choose between the two, you tear that child's sense of worth, esteem, affirmation and importance right out of them. This can often lead to a child thinking that he is the problem between the adults in the situation.

    If you are in a relationship with someone that doesn't respect your child/children and their right to have a relationship with their other parent….walk away. If the other parent is causing drama regarding you moving on with your life with someone other than them, get some help counseling that person on reality and help to bring him/her to a level of selfless maturity that will refocus him/her on what is best for the children….. calm, rational, respectful, mature adults in their lives!

  • Phenomenal Woman

    @ IY Smooth

    Thank you. That was a very kind thing to say.

  • Kigali

    Titan,

    I think it is unhelpful to disregard the person's concerns about how accomodating some baby mamas arent when it comes to fathers spending time with their children. Why should any man run from city to city and state to state behind his baby mama to prove he is a good dad? Why should some man beef with the baby mama's new stud just to prove he is a great dad? Men arent work horses or animals. They get tired too and they shouldnt be put through hazing just to earn the right to be with his children. I support any father calling the police or going to court if the custodial parent puts up obstacles. Maybe she can spend some time in the clinker to understand she doesnt have a right to play with the relationship between a man and his children.

  • IY Smooth

    Great posts Phenomenal Woman (I shouldn't be surprised though.The name says it all)

  • Marissa

    If I have to see one more of these ridiculou"a$$ "articles" then I will stop reading Madame Noir. I am sick of it. This is stupid.

  • Titan

    " Also, if your kids don’t have their father, remember that you may have played a role in pushing the man out of their lives."

    I beg your flipping pardon??? Once you have had a hand in bringing a child into this world, no matter how difficult it is, it is your flipping DUTY that you make sure you ARE a HUGE part of your child's life. You DARE not blame your inability to be a proper father on anyone at all. Frankly, you haven't the right to. Period. Yes, some women see their children as some sort of weapon to wield, but this is NOT about your "Baby Mama" or how destructive the relationship between yourself and the woman in question may be,l this is about THE CHILD YOU HAD A HAND IN BRINGING INTO THIS WORLD. Period. No excuses. None ever allowed.

  • THEQUEENBB

    I AM A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN EDUCATED WITH MY OWN MONEY AND IMA HAVE TO SAY THAT I AGREE WITH THIS ARTICLE. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND IF U NEED TO CHANGE THEN U NEED TO CHANGE. AND IF U HAVE ALL THE CREDENTIALS THEN U JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT HE WILL COME JUST TAKE THE TIME WHILE YOUR SINGLE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE BE HAPPY AND STOP OBSESSING OVER A MAN IF YOUR NOT HAPPY BEING SINGLE THEN U WILL NEVER BE HAPPY. IM FREE RIGHT NOW I JUST WANNA KEEP IT THAT WAY FOR A WHILE LOL

  • ash

    This should be called "8 Reasons you might consider not dating a stereotypic black woman." Not all Black women are like this and not all White women arent like this.

  • upgradeu

    why is that black women aren't allowed, or are put down for, wanting to be with an attractive black man ?

    I heard this from many black men, who, in the same breathe, feel black women should def. put in their best when it comes to looking good. why do the rejected of black men set standards when HE's the one that's rejected ? ((SWP))

    why is the opposite of every rejected black man a "thug" ? it's like rejected black men are trying to throw shade on black women for not choosing them, while at the same time they're trying to comfort their ego. chances are, we chose someone who's more a middle man than a thug. most black men aren't thugs.

  • upgradeu

    why is it a crime for black women to want to be with attractive black men?

    I've read thousands of comments online where black men feel black women shouldn't look for men that are attractive. Im not saying that's the only trait they look for, it's obviously not, but A LOT OF BLACK MEN have stated this.

    also, have you ever thought that maybe those educated black women you see chasing "thugs" are with them because they're honestly not thugs?? I know it sounds silly, but a lot of rejected (( yep, i said it )) black men tend to label anyone who's the opposite of him a thug simply based off of what he's wearing. it's slightly like the rejected black men are trying to throw shade on black women for not picking them while at the same time trying to comfort their ego.

    • In many Asian cultures, women find intelligence and academic achievement attractive.
      In many Jewish cultures, women find intelligence and academic achievement attractive.
      In colleges across America, White co-eds are hooking up and dating with their fellow college classmates and peers whom they find attractive.

      Can you make this statement for most Black women?  I mean sure…many find the end result of  academic achievement and the trappings of success attractive after they turn 35 or so…

      –Cobra

  • RED

    LOL are you serious who… who the hell wrote this. I grew up around white girls, the author should meet the ones I know!! I have an immense difference of opinion, and quit saying all black women do these things mostly all women do most of the things listed be foreal man.

  • TJohnson

    Wow, this site just keeps the hits coming, doesn't it? They follow up an article which might as well have been "8 reasons to date a Black Nerd" with one that should have been called "8 Examples of my ignorance of Black AND White Women."

    And then the comments…it's always so refreshing to see that 400 years of racism and oppression have not taught us anything about judging people by extremely important traits like where their ancestors happened to be born. Do you want they call people who promote love of their own ethnicity over that of others? Racists.

    How can it be a source of pride for a black person to promote "black love?" We sure wouldn't like it if a white man came on this site talking about "white love."

    How about we try to promote LOVE? A healthy amount of love for ourselves as individuals, instead of all this struggling for a group identity would make all of the issues you're talking about in this thread seem ridiculous.

  • Number 6: White women are not trying to compare their beauty to other races of women. Unlike black women who are ALWAYS trying to see if they measure up to a white womans or a latino womans beauty. You need to know your black is beautiful and that those other races of b*tches need to catch up!

  • Number 5: White Women do not cheer on other white women for dating outside their race. They do not view other men as a better alternative to their own. Infact, It is not given a second thought.

    They do not hold anger towards white men. They would find it strange if a white woman said “I hate all white men!”… Unlike black women who say these things daily.

  • Number 4: White Women will Hold their man down. Listen, Black women always wonder why when black men get money they get a white woman. That is not TRUE. A lot of black men meet these women in college when they are BROKE and on the GRIND. The accept he is on the grind and trying to acheieve his Goals. Unlike black women, they want a BALLER NOW. They want a Benz NOW. The want that Gucci bag NOW . This is why you see Ballers in Atlanta with 5 or 6 women, cause black women will throw themselves at him instead of giving the brotha in College a chance. Meanwhile, the white woman see’s his potential.

  • Number 2: White Women have less insecurities than Black Women. A black woman will spot a white man in the grocery store and stare at him just to see if he stares back. If he stares back the black women gets a boost of self-confidence knowing a white man “looked at her”. It’s sad. And white women do not do this

    Number 3: White Women are friendly and can speak to men in a friendly manner. A black man can’t even say “Hello, Nice weather today huh?” without a black woman becoming suspicious of his motives. Listen B*TCH I DO NOT WANT YOU. I just wanna have friendly conversation. Get rid of the attitudes sistas.

  • Since this site wont post my paragraph. I will post my reasons 1 by 1 white women could possible be a better choice.

    Number 1: If a white woman gets cheated on, she does not blame her whole race of men for that incident. If a black woman gets cheated on by a black man or had an absintee father, she becomes bitter AT ALL BLACK MEN. White women do not do this. Let it go sistas.

  • yup yup

    As a black women, I found the orginal article "8 Reasons to Date a White Man" an insult to our black men. I'm glad this gentleman wrote this article, gives us all something to think about, huh?

  • commonsense

    this post is very racist and the man who wrote it must be dealin with self hate himself…to generalize everyone for a few bad apples? wow! prejudice is horrible, especially when its happening in your own race…my god.

  • Meaghan

    What I find so strange about this article is that it takes what the author feels to be “black woman issues” and then assumes that the opposite it is a white woman. Having grown up biracial and attending majority “white” schools my entire life I know that this simply isn’t true. PERIOD. Some of the white women that date black men are a little more open minded just by dating out of their race but that’s not to say that they don’t come with their share of problems. The divorce rate in America is 50% and thats across the board so lets not go around thinking that white women have it all figured out.

  • I know you're not trying to be funny Kenyatta, but your comment was hilarious. You can't rationalize last week's slander-fest unless you have a hatred for Black men.

    This was cool, Dr. Boyce. Shrewd enough to let the man-eaters know that we're not amused… but caring enough to let the Black women who love us know that we love them back.

  • chris

    I am very dissapointed in madame noir posting this article and the reasons to date a white man. I am a black man and believe in promoting black love. There is nothing wrong with Black people loving one another . It seesm like as time goes on black people are quicker to promote dating outside of our race instead of sitting with one another and talking out our issues with eachother. We need to communicate to understand eachother. As a black man I will never read another article on this site again. This site is a joke.

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  • Leelou

    Ok, I am white, Scotch/Irish from Tennessee. About as white as they come. I read this cause, well, frankly I get tired of these kinda articles. This article could be put towards ANY race of woman. There are women from all races who behave badly and its just stupid to keep using these stereotypes. Now I am personally SICK of hearing how white women will do anything for their man and how we are more docile so thats why black men like us. Bullsh*t. Just like not all black women fit that angry sterotype, not all us white women are docile. I sure as sh*t arent. I wont do anything to keep a man, I wont beg them and I wont take their crap when they are acting like jerks. Dont let the door hit your a** on the way out. I get why these articles are written and all but ladies, we all do very similar things. No natter what color we are. Stop using color as a way to judge someone.

  • Mr_Me

    White women are more passive and will do ANYTHING to keep their man happy. I myself could not imagine being with a white woman but from what I see from the guys around me they do things most women won't out of fear of losing their man. Hispanic and Blacc women might not (in their mate's eyes) do the things or be willing to do some things that a white woman would be ready for at the drop of a dime. But dont get it twisted thats only the "Becky" white women cuz trust I know some white girls thats bout that life…..

    • So if a Black man is attracted to more passive women, what are his options?

      –Cobra

    • Ariana

      and you guys are complaining about categorizing black women…? give me a break. sorry if you have pathetic friends but most white women i know are much more independent and strong willed. having understanding and the ability to compromise is not a weakness, it’s called empathy and it’s a strength. i just can’t look at any of my friends or family and see them as this so called “passive” white woman.

  • BBBEE25

    Good points…but stop generalizing all Black women. What happened to the Black women who do follow these rules and the Black man steps out on them. I think sometimes some Black men use "oh Black women are too emasculating, Black women are too strong-will, etc. as an excuse to explain their attraction towards White Women. Oh no if sisters didn't act the way they did I wouldn't mess with White women.

  • Robbie

    Who wrote this list? The writers with the show "In Living Color".

    Sounds like a joke – can't take it seriously – was it meant to be?

  • MelaninEnriched

    @John

    I couldn't agree more with your ENTIRE post! My sentiments exactly.

    Do what you do and stop blaming others for doing it. If that's your preference, own it and be quiet. No one cares (really).

  • magnolia

    @ N**a

    I have never dated a black man. Maybe color should not matter, but white men are all I'm attracted to. If I notice that he is a jerk, I leave him alone. Very few times have I encountered a white male who is a jerk, but I know there is a handful of them out there.

  • Odetta

    @Not interested, if your woman allows you to compare her in the way you did in this forum. Please dont ever breakup? We need ya'll to stay together. Lord knows we dont need you guys poluting the rest of our culture with your way of thinking. We are so very glad you found each other!!

  • N**a

    @magnolia That first part was mature…anyway have you ever actually looked for good black men or are you saying your experience with white men were great because that is the only race you have dated. If you know the right type of white guy to look for then you should know the right type of black guy also. Color should be know limit.

  • MitziM

    Okay Boyce, while I don't agree entirely with your article, I do think you make some good points. I love being a Black Woman. But as black women we need to realize that we are not perfect and might need to check our own stuff sometime. Stay Blessed Brother.

  • Jackie

    Uncle Ruckus must not be getting much media time so what all "our" men do is when their careers go south they bring up a subject to down grade black women. Tell me why black men are the only race of men who like to talk about their own "daughters" and give them stereo types that applies to all people. Let me guess, it’s own fault again….right????

    • black

      A

    • black

      A

  • Star St

    This article was definitely anti- Black woman.

  • SLAbron

    A friend of mine told me this past weekend that he loves his gf (who is black) and has told her that she is like a white woman trapped in a black woman's body. The main issue I have with this is that as a black man he has demonized "black female" traits and resolved (as Slim Thug also suggested) that any positive or likeable traits about her such as her agreeableness and calm nature are decidedly "white" traits. I know his gf, she is a friend of mine and I do not view her this way. She is a great person and I definitely view her as very much a black woman. Perhaps this is because I know the type of woman that I am and do not view us in these limited terms. I have just about resolved any issues with black men dating "others" and Godspeed to those guys. Most are guys that I would otherwise not be dating and I believe that everyone should have someone to love. Regardless of your reasoning or motives, I guess.

  • K.Buck

    I am who I am! So if Im too loud at times thats me! If Im a little ghetto at times thats me! I wont apologize for who I am! So if its not for you…On to the next one! Im a black woman, and proud to be one! We are not all alike and thats whats so great about us! We have personality, we're fun, loving, nuturing, and great life partners..I dont categorize myself in anyway, and I dont think black women or white women are one certain way…You are who you are.. Deal with it! Good day madam's! Muah!

  • magnolia

    @ N**a

    Whatever man! You grow up! I don't think all white men are perfect, I just like them better, that's all. My dating experience with them were great because I knew the right ones to choose. Go focus on the black women who want you. There are PLENTY of them out there.

  • N**a

    @magnolia your funny to me because you are stereotyping the author. You probably think all white men are perfect and one will come sweep you off your feet. e.e I don't know what your dating experience is but it can't be that close to the media-stereotypical heartbreak. Grow up

  • Chocolatefrancesca

    It seems like no matter what we do, we're never good enough to each other. Why is that we should ask ourselves.

  • College girl

    @ Blak Beauty. I absolutely concur with your view

  • College girl

    @Phenomenal Woman. I'm not insinuating that there isn't an underlying problem in the Black community, however, it seems to me that there is a lot of blaming among Black Men and Women as to who is at fault for miscommunication between Black men and women and why we are failing to progress in matrimony and relationships. If we want to get to the root of the issue why not pose something that will allow us to create a better ground of communication instead of saying, "its better to date a White man or woman." Although, this topic creates a social colloquium in relation to Black relationships, this is not the answer to our problems.

  • Black Beauty

    I belive this conflict among the sexes is unfortunate and is the exact revelation of mankind's disobiedience. The individual who is capable of discerning the proper mate from the discordant potentials also understands the virtue of personal accountability and values the strengths of the opposite sex. I believe we have got the wrong battle folks. Church attendance does not necessarily speak volumes, as many church go-ers appear to fellowship with God, but the inquest should be: does he or she have a relationship with our Creator. To reason whether one or another is a better mate because of skin color is absurd. As Ghandi states, "We must be the change you want to see…". Let's get ourselves together first.

  • Kigali

    Magnolia, I cant imgine any many who wouldt want to spend the rest of his life with a woman like you. You really sound like a catch.

  • John

    1. I understand that Dr. Watkins is doing this tongue and cheek for the most part, so if this was a full-hearted attack on Black women, I would feel like this was a hasty generalization. But based on some of the responses, it seems to me that he carefully and nicely placed the shoe on the other foot and showed some of the women how it feels to hear these kinds of remarks.

    2. What this all boils down to is: What is your true motive for dating outside the race? If it is for love, then this article nor the original article would even be necessary. The problem is that some people (and in this case, I am referring to folks such as the original author of the first piece and idiots like Chad Ochocinco) feel like they need to justify their choice or get encouragement to jump to the other side. Just man/woman up and go for the person you love. But don't bash Black men/women in the process just to assuage your feelings about your choice.

    Sidenote: I wonder how White men and women would feel if they knew that some Blacks are only dating them because they AREN'T Black, not necessarily because of attraction and/or true love.

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  • magnolia

    LOL….this is funny. Some bitter negro got mad at the other article and deiced to "speak for the brothers"….cute. It's not making me or other black women who LOVE white men sweat.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    Do Black Women really believe for one minute that Black Men don't know about the Black Woman's experience in America! But just as the Black Man's experience is no excuse for his wrong behavior, our hard experience isn't our excuse! If we are going to view things from a historical perspective, then we must ask ourselves what the hell went wrong along the way to cause us to start fighting against each other in our common struggle for equality? What happened to the trust and shared strength that we used to lift one another up in order to move out of slavery, endure the terrors of the southern brand of segregation, fight for Constitutional Laws that protected us and our progeny, and build institutions of higher learning conquering all areas of education and reasoning? Why are we discussing a common historical atrosity and social inequities, yet we cannot find the common ground needed to heal these gaping, festering wounds in our hearts!? I still say that the indoctrination of internal racial seperatism, ethnic identity destruction and the methodical re-definition and destruction of the Black male-female relationship on the plantation, is at the cultural root of a lot of these sociological issues. However, when we as apeople decide to take control of our own destiny and determine to walk towards one another as opposed to walking away from one another while throwing stones and hurling insults and doing massive injury, we will finally begin to undue what the physical shackles of old failed to do, but what the mental and emotional shackles continue to succeed at daily….. to commit intraracial genocide in the name of love! Go figure.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    College Girl,

    There are issues, problems and situations that we as a black people MUST address and discuss honestly among ourselves in order to resolve our common problems. I don't think that Black people are any worse than any other ethnic group on the planet. We are unique in our inability to find unity in both our progression and problem solving as a people. Some of us take the head in the sand approach, some take the stand that if we don't talk about it, especially in a public forum then the problem doesn't exist, some just plain don't give a damn about how we self destruct and destroy ourselves, and others do care and while the conversation may become heated and contraversal, it is a conversation non the less! I am not intimidated nor offended by the opinions of others simply because I know that they are speaking out of their own life experience as they choose to define it. I just hope that one day, Black Men and Women will get a truthful understanding of their true origins and will understand that self love, starts with self knowledge, and self knowledge comes with knowing who you are from the beginning of time! I am standing on the shoulders of GIANTS and I have been afforded tremendous opportunity to live an awesome purpose and fulfill a great destiny. If we would affirm one another starting in our own homes, neighborhoods and communities, we would not have to give a damn as a people what the opinions of others are whether stereotypical or not…. and we would definitely reach a place of peace, compassion, love, trust and support in our Black relationships. Non of these things are obtainable unless their is real and truthful communication between us as men and women about want our needs, wants and desires are in RELATIONSHIP to one another and we most assuredly must find the ability to discuss what causes all of the pain that exists between us.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    @ Not Interested….Thanks for the explanation and I appreciate your demeanor….and candor.

  • nb

    As a black chick who has been married to a white dude for years, I have to say, we have the exact same set of problems that most other couple have, work stress, family stress, money stress, etc. However, I have to say, most of the aggressive questions and behavior towards me comes from black men who are with the white chicks that I work with. One asked me "what, you couldn't find a brother?' Well, not one that liked my pickup with a six inch lift, going to Metallica and Tool concerts with me, and my nappy hair (this isn't so much a big deal now, but ten years ago… and I wasn't trying to make a statement other than I was in school and had to do my own hair–but I digress). I was–and am–constantly accused of "acting white". I actually had one guy say to me, "you fine, but you weird as f*ck." Seriously.

    So I did what I think any human being with common sense does. I found someone who likes me for me. His color was just his color. I'm happy, he's happy, and he lets me be weird as f*ck.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    @ Not Interested..

    How do you define "acting like a white woman!?" Previous BM posters of the original article stated that the "angry Black Woman" syndrome extended to Black Women with money and means…probaby even more so because of their often times Women's Lib mentality. Are you implying that White Women have some innate characteristics that are not found in non-white races. What is your "White Girl Trapped in a Black Body" girlfriend doing that makes her better than other Black women in your experience with her?

  • mona

    Lets see if the same hypocritical and bitter black men will comment on this article. They will change their tone, for sure, LOL.

  • Gabulous

    And again there it is. Truth be told we as Black women have to work on things as well. Thing is, Black men don't "love" us and we don't "love" Black men right? So why all this anger towards each other? These articles are generalizations that for the most part are true. Get over it. If you allow an article to upset you and make you feel some type of way you need Xanax not a mate.

  • Neshamah

    I am a black 29 year old woman. And I totally agree with your retort!! The black community is so broken that we don't reflect on ourselves (Black Women) individually and ask "what am I doing wrong?" Most black families are single parent families with the woman being the single parent, and because of that black women growing up today from this type of household will 9 times out of ten follow in their mother's foot steps and keep repeating the same cycle. If black women and black men start to rebuild by restructuring what family is suppose to be wife ,husband, children and a spiritual basis we can definitely have a beautiful relationship from our own community and culture. I had to reflect on myself to see why I was not only single but also a single parent. I looked at what I was doing wrong in my relationships and who I was choosing as a mate. When I re-evaluated I found my future husband right in front of me my best friend of seven years. No he doesn't make 6 figures , and doesn't look like Terrance Howard, Doesn't drive a 2010 Audi, or own his own home. But he is going to school to get his bachelors he has one year left, He is interning with the government, so when he does get his degree he will have experience. He is my shoulder to cry on when I get weak. He says we instead of I or you. He loves my son and calls him ours. He never calls me out my name or even raises his voice at me in a heated discussion. He always wants to talk it out and work it out. I said all of that to say this any relationship is a joint effort Lyfe Jennings said it best , don't be a nickle looking for a dime and there are to many Black women who are nickles looking for a black man to be their come up and don't want to let go of their past to start a new future. I let go of my past and now my future looks bright!!

    • Asian Brother

      Excellent reply and I wish you the best in you future.

  • Phenomenal Woman

    Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! I have been trying to reach angry a$$ed black women with the truths thats you have presented in this response for years! When men and women alike start taking responsibility for the choices and decisions that THEY made is dating, marrying and childbearing, we will ALL be a lot better off. Admitting your own role in your life is extremely self empowering because it makes you take inventory of yourself and adjust YOU before you decide to try to change someone else! Being the single mother of 2- (1 child from my marriage to an Italian man which ended rather amicably although I think he had no respect for Black people in general, and 1 beautiful child from an engagement to a church going-Bible toting black man that had to end because I found out he was engaged to 3 women at the same time and also married!), I find myself being thankful for the good and bad that ocurred in my past relationships because I allowed the experiences to strengthen me rather than embitter me. I made note of the choices that I made in the men that I chose to become involved with, I admitted where I was ignorant, foolish or even dooped, and I moved on with a wealth of new knowledge and information that I was determined to use in order to make better choices later! But most certainly, I did not decide to hate my beautful Black Brothas as a group and allow the experience with and memory of the knuckheads from my past control my present and future by giving them power over my happiness. So, I have experienced to deepest relationship with both Black men and 1 WHite man. The bottom line FOR ME…… I would prefer going through hell with a Black man with a common ancestry, history, and understanding than to feel less than valued, esteemed and used as a sexual fantasy by a non-Black man any day of the week!

  • Kigali

    Dave, I dont know if you have noticed but a lot of these "Something New" black women talk about thier white men like they are talking about a genie that grants them an infinite number of wishes. I sometimes wonder if they are being for real. They put it on so thick, you cant help but question the validity of their experiences.

  • Magic

    There is already plenty of places for black men to go and SLANDER black women, Way more black men that talk down on black women, and way more black men that have already opted out on black women, your article isn't necessaryas it is simply MORE OF THE SAME. Where is your intolerance to the countless black men that ruthlessly slander black women in various FORUMS and in black circles? Nobody plays fair in those places! What a hypocrite

  • Infinite Youth

    I agree with Dave.That sentence REALLY sums it all up.Well done sir.

  • Dave

    "You can change the complexion of your love interest, but the consistent variable in your tortured love life is always going to be you."

    That is it in all of it's glory, really. Self-reflection is toughest for the person that sees themselves as a victim- be they the brother on the corner or the sister with the briefcase.

    Well done and I agree with Lyndon. Tthank you for not mimicking the hateful, accusatory tone of the other 8 reasons post.

  • anonymous

    The dirty little secret of black woman/white man relationships is that most black women who choose a white man earn MORE than he does. White men have their choice of the most desirable black women and they are choosing sisters with higher incomes than their own. Black women would not stand for this if it were a brother. They allow white men to get away with this simply because their white skin is viewed as adequate compensation for their lack of income.

  • bitter black dude

    not nearly nasty enough. no way you break 100 comments. way to represent the fellas. womp womp. being all reconciliatory, acknowledging how great black women can be and what not. how dare you?

  • Fair enough. 😉

  • Kigali

    Sorry for the double post.

  • Come On People

    this is the difference between black americans and other races. When there are issues with the person that we are with, they are responsible for all the ills within our race. If your bf does you wrong, he represents all black men. If your gf does you wrong, she is representing all black women. With other races issues with women is just that, issues with women – issues with men are the same. We are our own worst enemy.

  • SJ

    As a single black woman…PREACH!

  • Tko

    But we already know why black men date white women. We're all familiar with this line of discussion because that's the sole perspective that we've focused on for ages. The "original" 8 reasons why… was simply a breath of fresh air and a different perspective. The truth is we all have issues 😉

  • Wow… Here comes the deflection and denial. IMO this was done with respect and honesty. Not the typical condescending tone. Nice

  • LK

    Nice retort!

  • Sydney

    You just opened the floodgates with that lol…