8 Reasons to Date a White Man

September 27, 2010 ‐ By L. Nicole Williams

Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions! Another response to this article has been publishedhere.

I am married to a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth. Notice I said physically. Outside of that, there are plenty of more financially, intellectually and emotionally stable options. It’s time to taste the unknown. There are just too many—too many bright and beautiful single Black women waiting for their Black prince charming, only to see more and more of them riding off with their porcelain-skinned beauties.

My question is what are you waiting for—a baby and no ring? Black men are obviously seeing a lot in others they like. As an open-minded woman, I can tell you from experience some things about white are right. In no particular order, here are the reasons you should be giving vanilla a chance.

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  • acediaiffza

    BEST ONLINE SITE AT ♥w-w-w. BlackWhite Hub . C-o- M ♥1000s of black men, black women, white men and white women looking to date someone from another race online! So, if you want to look for people with which you can date, you are at the right place. With a
    brave heart to love. This is a paradise where love is color blind.zxvzxv

  • acediaiffza


  • Christian Hutchinson

    Reason #1 why the Black Community has so many problems, if a Black Man displays the qualities that make White Man attractive they get labeled as “soft”, or “Acting White”. Of course displaying these qualities and looking like Shemar Moore is great, but 90% of guys don’t look like him.

  • Loreen71

    It’s really sad
    and unfortunate to hear some black brothers and sisters on
    this page tearing each other down. I come across this subject many
    times, and wonder why there is this need by black women (and indeed also black
    men) to even broach this subject. It’s very rare to see forums where
    White people post about why they date ‘the other’, it always seems to
    be black people with this issue and the need to justify why they date
    outside their race. I as a black female have nothing wrong with
    interracial dating/marriage, as I believe, you live once, and who ever makes
    you happy, then go for it, there is no point being miserable and worrying about
    what others think, because whilst you are losing out on happiness, they are
    enjoying their lives, with no solution for yours ( i.e. they are not going out
    their way to find you a good black man or woman). With that said, there is a
    difference between keeping your options open, and so happening to find love
    with someone outside your race, than specifically going out to look to
    date outside your race because of your hatred and disappointment with your
    own. No race is perfect, and the solution is not to turn to the
    ‘other’ to remedy your heart as this could turn out to be more damaging
    emotionally if it does not work out. Further to this, also, as much
    as we would like to believe love conquers all, unfortunately just love alone in
    an interracial committed relationship cannot solely bind. I say this,
    because there are challenges that come with mixed relationships (specifically
    black and white), one needs to be able to connect our past history with the current e
    power dynamics within society to understand this. Unfortunately there is
    too much history in the conflict between Black and White race ( as much as
    people may think it’s a thing of the past), and that legacy still lives on
    today and is embedded in racist society. I am not talking about racial prejudice ( as
    this is ignorant stereotyping and pre-judgment made by one race against another,
    but racism i.e. when power and control
    is used by people in positions of authority ( i.e. white people) to oppress
    another race .e.g. police, criminal justice system, media, education system
    etc). The reality is, black people do not hold power (wealth but not power – not
    even in African nations), the power is held by white majority who control the
    institution that our society is made up (as named above) and through this
    oppress black people and other minority ethnic groups) The reality is this is
    part of our world is not going to go away, and still very much alive ( although
    maybe not as evident and as aggressive as maybe 30 years ago). So the challenge
    is for people who do end up in interracial relationship is to not compromise themselves
    in order to fit in i.e. ignoring who
    they are, cultural and social issues
    etc. Black poeple can fall into the trap
    of forget themselves and where they come from, as it makes it easier to handle
    the relationship. E.g. Would a black woman be able to speak openly about racism
    in the criminal justice system, education system, police force, amongst her
    white partner and a room full of other white people at a dinner party, no she
    probably would choose not to broach the subject of fear being view as a black
    woman with a chip on her shoulder, or not being heard or understood. But given the same senario with black people,
    she would not have to think twice and instead of feeling ‘muted’, conversation
    would likely to flow naturally, there in itself is an example of compromising. Therefore, although morally there is not an
    issue with black and white interracial dating/relationships, politically there
    are challenges, and black brothers and sisters would need to have a very strong
    liberal minded white partner and circle of friends, in order achieve and
    maintain an honest integral relationship.

  • Christopher

    I have never, in all my days, read so much bullshit in one article. This article is not only defamatory, it is also outright racist! Reinforcing horrible stereotypes about black men keeps society from moving forward. L. Nicole Williams you should be ashamed of yourself, whatever your race happens to be, for writing such garbage! =(

  • underground72

    Ok I seen over 5 articles form MN promoting dating white men. Don’t get me wrong date whoever you want who is of age. Yet, why not articles about dating men of color?

  • Trudy ‘Mtram’ Rozani

    I’m just here for the comments

  • Aleta Goree


  • Notyourdamnbusiness

    Hell no I don’t agree to this bullshit!

  • TMB

    As a black woman who has been with her white husband for 20 years, I was prepared to balk at this article as I have SO many others who completely miss the mark. I must admit that the author brought up many good points, but the use of one word might have proven to make it seem a little less stereotypical toward black men…*some.
    Speaking in generalizations is a common problem because just like there are some amazing white guys out there (like my hubs), there are dogs as well – and the same goes for the brothas. I chose my husband because I fell madly in love with him, and he made me feel like no one else before and ladies if you find that; color shouldn’t matter!


    How stupid to generalise all Black men, I see single Black women walking around with their half breed hybrids taking they’re the bomb when really an md truly a white man is just as likely to use you for SEX as a Black man is, or even more so as a recent survey showed that white men are extremely interested in having sex with Black women but not so interested in marrying or being with one in a serious relationship. So if you wanna spread yourself for your white massa then bed wench go ahead. As a Black woman I want my kids to look like a reflection of me a mixed breed will hardly look Black, they can only ever look mixed but I suppose to self-hating negroes mixed looks better than Pure Black. smh. I will to search and wait for my kind, loving, loyal Black King before betraying my race. Death before dishonoring you delusional bed wenches need to open your eyes. Black people are the only ones who put their race last, asians/indians/whites put their race first before anything, we put ours last then wonder why we are at the bottom worldwide. IGNORANCE AT IT’S FINEST!

    • Adam

      The last sentence is the only thing I thought when reading this comment.

  • Chand

    Nicole Williams is either a genius or very narrow minded. Perhaps some socio-economically segmented samples comparing like-for-like across a wider sample than the USA might help validate her argument. The absence of this suggests that she is just really quite pathetic and racist. If her ability to deduce assumptions is this bad then the world has nothing to fear as she will not progress. I hope she is good looking (and her looks stay with her) otherwise her career is destined for mediocrity.

  • lechop lechops

    This is an incredibly racist article. If you don’t agree ask yourself what your response would have been if exactly the same content had been written by a white women and was titled “8 reasons not to date black men”.

  • Shay Gaither

    Well thank goodness I’m a black woman who loves the black man. I will never betray the black man for another; I’m a die hard season fan !!!! #tickets

  • Lisa547

    There are, of course, good and bad men in all races. But the “bad” men (players, cheaters, wife beaters) are more likely to be black, lettuce be cereal. If there is a diary of a mad black woman, she was probably dating a black dude at the time.


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  • Hillz4ever

    I am a black man and I am none of those things listed. Please widen your perspective.

  • http://www.FashionInsiderTV.com Marcellous Jones

    I can definitely see the validity of many points espoused in this article. Though Ms. Williams does tend to borrow some of her views from amalgamations, white men are not the only men on the planet who can look beyond a persons past, or value education or are less intimidated by a woman’s educational and career successes. Asian men are fine examples of this too.

    It’s not really a question of color, but more one of a cultural-anthropological dynamic. Both blacks and hispanics tend to have more difficulties dealings with anger management. And it is true that both black and hispanic men do look to the most asinine ways to prove their manhood (violence and dropping illegitimate babies from Texas to the Florida.) That include the men and the women.

    Whites have no problem getting therapy, seeing psychiatrists and getting into family counselling, etc. as ways to deal with the OBVIOUS.

    I recommend that before trying to get into a relationship, know who you are and what you want. I encourage open and meaningful communications. Be attentive. Though this is not a universal guarantee for success & felicity in a relationship, it is a fine starting point.

  • FedUp

    This is complete and utter bull!!! I for one am surrounded by intelligent black men. If you want to date outside of your race and be more open-mined, then fine more power to you. But don’t bash on one race to make the other one look more superior.

  • angela

    I don’t agree with any of these reasons.

  • Jo’Cara Pack

    The Willie Lynch Theory is working all up and though this article!

  • Karen

    I don’t understand why this article even needs to exist to be honest – I find it quite disgusting. I assume the author is familiar with the term “SELF-HATE”. It comes off racist to tar all black men with the same brush! Putting down black men like white men don’t have their issues or any other race for that matter. Every individual is different and everybody got issues. If people want to date outside their race or within their race then that’s completely up to them. I don’t know how anyone can be in love with the author – black, white, yellow, when clearly she doesn’t love herself. Nothing wrong with interracial dating but promoting it like it’s some sort of fashion or trend sounds f**** up. Call me old-fashioned but whatever happened to reasons like LOVE and ATTRACTION.

  • Michael

    As a white guy, i can say this is beyond stupid. barely any of this is even half true.

  • Cierra

    As a black woman, I call BS on the meaning behind this article. This article is very stereotypical and I’m not feeling it. There’s good and bad in everybody– every race. While yes, there are black men who are no good and I did in fact agree with a lot of what you said, my biggest issue is that you tried to lump all black men together is if to say they are ALL like this. That is a lie and very ignorant of you. And frankly, you wouldn’t even know that unless you met every black man on this earth and every single one of them turned out to be scum. And I know you didn’t do that. Just like not all black men are filthy, not all white men are decent.

  • makrell_i_tomat

    I dont like this article. I find it disrespectful towards black males. Im a white guy btw.

  • Kandor

    I’m mixed and my mom was on this site, I found this article and though there are some generalizations, I would amend her article to “Don’t close yourself off to white men” Like I know some white girls who won’t date a black guy, don’t limit your options with “preferences” it’s your right as a person to choose who you want of course, but don’t be surprised when you don’t have a high margin of success because your handicapping your dating life.

  • perverted ash

    This article is ridiculous. There is good and bad in men of all races. The black men represents these ills no more than an Asian man. It’s about the make up of a man. As I tell many women of all races that I know, it may not be the races of the men you date, but they type of man you attract or are attracted to.

  • A gals pal

    I’m a 48yr old white woman, i have had numerous black friends tell me they are tired of dating black men for most the reasons the writer spoke of. One friend in paticular she has a degree and says she will only date black men if they have a degree and not a slew of “babies Momma’s” in his wake. She said it is getting more difficult to find a single black man who have a degree and no checkered past with to many children all with different mothers. I agree with her because odds are if they ever married she would never be able to afford to have her own because she would get stuck helping him pay child support. and not to mention all the drama several different women can make. I dont think she will marry a white man because she would like to stay in her race but she is now 36, so i need not say she is getting pressed for time. I just want her happy and safe and pray she gets all the great love she deserves. White or black or blue or green….I love my friend afend hate she has to deal with all the nonsense just to do what should be simple. I see today’s young black males lacking self respect and guidance in life. They don’t respect women ether or the wouldnt think having 10 different baby momma’s is funny….it is far from it

  • Makx

    This is too general. I know of plenty white guys who are the exact opposite.

  • Guestspeaker

    Look at the picture # 4 and tell me why that dude would want to marry a woman? If that picture was real I’m sure both the guy and the girl would be looking at the same man they wished they were married to.This is really bad photoshopping.

  • RumChocolates2 .

    This article applies to some black men but not all. I’m black. I have dated mostly black guys but also indian, white, hispanic, peruvian etc. The black men I dated had more success career wise than the white guys I have dated. That was I know just my experience in dating. The truly genuine good guys are few and far between on any race. What I have learned is that there are all kinds in every race. I love all people. It’s about the inner spirit being either bad or good. It’s that simple. I have been approached by hood black guys and hood white guys. I don’t date hood though. Every problem black people have in there race, other races have that problem as well. There is just a microscope on blacks. I think we are over analyzed by others and ourselves. However I think the black commuinity (not just black men) does not have the connections and resources as whites do to be as successful. That doesn’t mean we can’t be successful. It just means our journey to success will be much different and harder.

  • CancerLeoChild

    This sounded like “ALL black men in America” act like this. My father,grandfather’s and great grandfather’s did an amazing job taking care of their families,money, and education -_-. It seems like your saying all African American men are deadbeats and all Caucasian men are the right way to go. Caucasian men aren’t the only faithful, whole, educated,money saving, knows hot to take care of his woman and his kids guys out there.

  • Cat Rock

    This article is totally offensive. Yes some of the thing you said is true but there are people like that in all races. In addition to that there are plenty black men with the positive attribute you attribute to white men. You need to take a seat.

  • Dax Buckner

    I am pissed after reading this article. All this proves is that blacks can be just as racist to blacks as any other race. I cant believe this was put in print and published. I am a black male, and i find pretty much every point baseless, stereotypical and revolting. Not that i believe i am the norm, but this article just makes me feel inferior. I am a successful, truthful, trustworthy, economically stable- and love, I MEAN LOVE, me a dark cocoa sister. Ive dated white women, and could only find the emotional, spiritual, and mental connection i needed from a woman of color (and if i had to choose, a black woman, tho latinos and asians are pretty awesome too!).

    I just cant believe this was published. and here? Ill have to re-think my commitment to this publication if this is the sort of trash youve decided to promulgate.

    But if u do continue, please change the name, as it is an affront to black women.

  • Tracey Ratchford

    Not down with the “swirl”!!! There is nothing I mean absolutely nothing that I see in a white man…. nothing…..

  • Tracey Ratchford

    And you would like us to forget but that’s never going to happen.. Sorry……that’s like telling a Holocaust survivor to say it was no big deal that 6 million people died. Forgive and forget is that it!!!

  • Tracey Ratchford

    Thank you!!!! I have one thing to add… the grass is not always greener on the other side………

  • ImJustAGuy

    I’m about to make a heretical statement. If you want a black man and want to avoid all the baggage this article discusses, find a conservative black man. I’m serious. There’s also a strong likelihood that the conservative black man has high moral values as well.

    Yea, I know that ‘c’ word is heresy in the black community, but I know what I am talking about in this regard.

    • brian

      your an idiot

  • dialogue1

    You’re so right about black men being insecure. As a result they act envious of sisters who are more educated than they are and have better jobs/incomes than they do. Again, I’d definitely apply this to Jamaican men. I prefer to speak about what I know of so I mention Jamaican men. They’re not going to be good to you if they’re jealous of your education and success. It’s best for college-educated black women to date/marry men on their level . Don’t let black men tell you that a college degree doesn’t matter, it does matter!

    • brian

      That jealousy crap is something women with a lil accomplishment use to boost their ego. No man is jealous of what you accomplished, we just don’t care. A womans worth to a man has nothing to do with how many yrs she went to school or how much money she makes. Yall are the hoes that care about that, we men just want a submissive, catering, cooking + working, woman that knows when to talk andwhen to be quiet. Oh yea a freak in the sheets and respectable in public

      • dialogue1

        I’m sure intelligent, well-educated women avoid you! Your comment is saying that you’re misogynistic and can’t carry out an intelligent conversation. You prove my point about some black men.
        I KNOW what I’m talking about as I’ve seen or heard some black men act envious of sisters with college degrees and good careers. You may not want to admit it but it’s still the truth.

        • brian

          If it makes you feel good about yourself keep believing that. But I know your lying, you have never heard any real man say he is jealous of a womans degree, jealousy is a feminine characteristic. I dropped out of college to get my CDL, dated plenty of women in college that had their bachelors and even dated 1 that was going for her masters. So LOL at you saying college educated women avoid me, I had a women that graduated a suny school in NY, basically ask me to marry her and I turned her down. Facts are facts, economic success does not benefit women socially the way it benefits men. You can be mad about it and say its cause men are intimidated or jealous all you ladies want or you can deal with reality, unless the man is looking for a suga mama he would rather date a chick that works at a regular descent job that knows her role as a submissive partner, than someone that wants me to kiss her butt cause she graduated college and makes a pretty penny. Its good to have book knowledge to make good money, but its also good to learn how to be a better partner to a man if you want a loving lasting relationship and a real family(not just a baby daddy).

          • dialogue1

            You have to tell me how you’ve managed to know my life experiences seeing that you can tell me that I’m lying. I specifically mentioned that I was talking about some Jamaican men when I mentioned how some black men can be envious of a woman’s education and career. The jealousy eats them up to the point where they say things that make you know they’re envious. Men can be jealous too; it’s certainly not a female characteristic.

            Let me mention Jamaica again when I tell you that the black men there who are college-educated and successful marry women who are college-educated with great careers. These men do NOT marry women who have no degrees or financial success of their own.Maybe in America a woman’s education and career don’t matter to black men but in Jamaica I can tell you that it’s very important to the successful black men there when they’re seeking a girlfriend/wife.

  • dialogue1

    I actually love this article. I was looking out for no.7 and was glad that you mentioned it. I’m from Jamaica where the men are generally promiscuous but they want women who are virgins or “almost virgins” to be their wives/main woman. They have that double standard going on. I’ve seen cases in the news where white women cheated on their husbands and he forgave them eg. General Patraeus’ mistress is is still with her hubby. He didn’t toss her out for cheating.

    In a Jamaican paper, a writer said she wanted a rich man and many Jamaican men tore her apart for saying so. White men have no big issue with women who look out for their financial future. They also, like you said, generally don’t mind being seen as the breadwinner. I saw white couples on “Oprah” where the men gave their paycheck to their stay-at-home wives to manage the household. Many black men like to say that if women want equality then she shouldn’t look to them for any finance and that you can’t want to be independent but still take money from them.

    I know this article will make some black people angry but the truth does hurt. If you have any observation skills at all you’ll agree that these points are generally true.

  • DeeJ

    This is one of the worst articles ever. I’m currently dating a white man but I’m open to all colors. Pretty much all of these suggestions
    are racist and self hating. If you want to date a white man, do it
    because you’re attracted to him and he has the qualities you’re looking
    for in a man. Don’t judge people before hand and assume that they have
    all of the bad qualities mentioned in this terrible article, the author
    should be ashamed and embarrassed. And obviously only sees people as stereotypes.

  • cece howard

    I dont know…sorry a lot of what was written TO ME IS THE TRUTH.
    Too bad im not attracted to white men. Ive been dating them for several reasons mentioned

  • justsaying

    Don’t get me wrong about this, I am down with the swirl and all but why do people continue to view black men as one thing and white men another? Not all black men are the same and that also goes for other races. It really isn’t fair to the black educated, financially responsible black male who isn’t actually intimidated by a the female mind to be put in a group with the rest of them and iam pretty sure the white low- life male shouldn’t be grouped with the white males people seem to glamourize in this article

  • Ebony

    I date white men almost exclusively, and I find this article to be a load of BS. you date because you love someone, not because of any preconcieved notions about them….ugh

  • Black-Guy-Giving-Shade-on-site

    Such a stupid article

  • mrs jane doe

    Rici- apparently you haven’t looked at the cover of Vogue- Kanye is marrying a “Ho”, and even had a child with her. Advertisers, including this site, inundate us with white women and black men, that it is ridiculous. Cheerios isn’t selling cereal, they are selling an ideology. Burlington has three commercials-one with a family of black man and white woman, one with a black woman alone, and a third with a black man alone. Although I don’t mind interracial relationships, I am sick of it being forced down my throat, and really surprised that MN would use a white woman and black man to depict relationships. There are other family units that could be pictured. Maybe the author is simply doing what black men have been doing for decades- justifying why any other “race” is a better match than two black people being together and raising a family. I wish we respected ourselves more as a whole, and black men weren’t so insecure.

  • Gque1911

    My God in Heaven…did the Grand Wizard of the White Knights write this? Wow.

  • Citizen99

    First reason a sister like this should date a white man: 1> Brothers ain’t hear this ignorant nonsense…so she can’t keep a black man.

  • Guest

    Ha ha. Black men don’t take everything as a challenge to our masculinity. We just don’t like argumentative sisters.

  • PekoeJane

    I’ve read the article and most of the comments and all I can say is “Wow!” on both fronts. First, this article is racist as I can attest that the black men in my family are either single with no children, or are happily married with children and homes that they own. This comes from being raised amongst family that expected the best from them and the same goes for the women in my family.
    Men in all races cheat, don’t take care of their kids, lie, are uneducated, etc not just black men. I have dated white men some of whom were lovely and some I couldn’t wait to get rid of and all of them were educated, divorced and had kids. We seem to continue to have these same tired and trivial conversations about what is wrong with black men and black women and why we can’t be together. You should never date, regardless of race, ANY person who lacks goals, who doesn’t take their personal responsibilities to their children seriously, who doesn’t have or cannot keep a job, who is uneducated and who generally is unsupporative if you and your relationship.
    Black men want white women because they think it is a status symbol to have a white or Latin woman on their arm, and you just have to look at professional sports and the entertainment industry to see that is the truth. I am sure there are black women who date white men because they don’t like black men, or they date white men because their educational and economic status puts them in places where there is a lack of black men on the same level.
    I could go and on and I have, but I think we need to stop with the generalizations about each other and our community and date whomever makes us feel and be the best person we can. Personally, I’m waiting for a hot Martian to rock my world to get a litlte extraterrestrial experience under my belt. LOL.

  • ImOhSoAnonymous

    I’m an African man. I know my father. He and my mother have been married over 30 years. I have multiple academic degrees and I’m currently working on a PhD. ALL my African friends grew up with both parents in the home, and ALL my African friends graduated college. Most of them are forging successful careers, are married, own homes, and are not in debt. One of my friends is married to one of my ex girlfriends. I have dated two certified hoes, with full knowledge of their hoe status when I asked them out. There is a distinction between Black and African American. When you simply say black, you are putting at least a billion people in the same boat (close to 450 million are male). I cannot claim intimate knowledge of the African American social dynamic, but I can speak from the point of view of a Black person nonetheless.

    I grew up in the States but live in the UK now where, conversely, there are multiple examples of white Brits dealing with the same struggles mentioned in this article: absentee fathers, the refusal to commit to marriage, a lack of interest in education and poor financial choices. In fact, Brits of black descent are more likely to graduate from high school and university than their white counterparts, and that likelihood is growing year by year.

    Let me take it a step further. White males are more likely to be serial killers, sex offenders and 4 out of 5 times more likely than black men to drive while intoxicated or at least while carrying a banned substance or an open bottle of alcohol in their vehicle. Still interested in marrying a guy who could be carrying a body in the trunk on your honeymoon?

    The point is, whether this is simply an African American problem or not, generalized statements of this nature do little to help. If you want to talk about the benefits of dating outside your race, talk about cultural openness, a stronger gene pool and so on, and not this petty stuff that is only faced by a limited section of society.

  • eyeEEsha

    Now I remembered why I stopped reading Madame Noire. Thanks for the reminder.

  • EJazzper

    Where did she come up with this nonsense. I know plenty of white men and black men who both fit and not fit these descriptions. I am offended by both sides of her narrow minded comments.

  • LSG

    Didn’t read the article but I feel like it doesn’t matter what race the person you date is, as long as you two are good to each other…color is irrelevant.

  • James B

    Just find someone to love and f*ck for the rest of your life. A color and “investment plans” dont equate a future.

  • soisaid

    i don’t care what color/race you are. if i like you and we get along great then of course i will be attracted to you and want to see how far we can go beyond friendship. but the attraction has to be there.

  • Tori

    This article is completely ignorant and does nothing to contribute towards the progression of our race. Very disappointing article for a AA blog to publish this.

  • dwsNY

    Speaking as a white guy (and I mean *white* – I can’t dance for s***), this is a load of bull, because it commits the eternal American sin of confusing race with class. These are not the differences between white men and black men – they’re the differences between poor men and richer men.

    Try hanging out down at the trailer park, in the deep south, or in Appalachia, and tell me that the bad qualities ascribed to black men are “black” qualities, or the good qualities “white”.

    The only reason you feel these qualities are “white” is because white men are more likely to have had the advantages in education and income that make them more likely. As poor white communities demonstrate, you take those advantages away, and it becomes apparent that things like homophobia, lack of ambition, and macho culture aren’t black man problems, they’re POOR man problems.

    • Inquizative

      Thumbs waaaay up. I’ve read many of these responses and your reply by far was the most inciteful and the most accurate. There was a movie called “Trading Places” with Eddie Murphy that demonstrated this. I suggest the author watch the movie so she can open her mind. Also the media is responsible for most of these stereotypes, I ask the author, stop being a victim of a closed mind.

  • Mani

    THIS ARTICLE DISGUSTS ME WTF?! HOW DEAR U?!….u ever heard of claiming it and it bein yours!? I’d never claim this for my black MEN FOH!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Michaela Dawson

    I have no issue with interracial relationships. I have been in two. What I DO NOT Like is when I hear black men put down black women to justify why they date outside their race. That is why I do not agree with this article. It’s one thing to point out the benefits of dating interracially, but to do so by putting down black men is not the way to illustrate those positives. Sadly it seems black people tend to do this more than other races. I could be wrong, but that is just from my experience. I do not hear white men, or other men from other races, that date interracially, put down the women of their race. I wish we would stop. Willie Lynch wins as long as we continue to act this way to one another.

  • Emeka

    Mrs Williams, When you say “Black men” , I seriously hope you mean Black Americans or “African Americans” because African Men such as myself, my father, my uncles and in-laws all are responsible family men who love and care dearly for their mothers, sisters, and wives(not particularly in that order). I will safely say that 75% of African men are responsible. When I say responsible, I mean will think about the future – make investments, care for any kids they bring into the world and so on. Also, you are being hard on “Black brothers”, are they not brought up by “Black women”? It’s a vicious circle. If Black women start demanding higher standards and so, then maybe, just maybe…changes will be made.

  • eze

    this list is complete n utter nonsense

  • Neveragain

    This article is based on stereotypes and archetypes. Last time I click on one of your links

  • MsT-mac

    L. Nicole is on something. Men are men and there are all kinds within any race or group. She trynta start something!

  • Karen Paino

    Reasons to date any man love respect and mutual attraction. Color should not be an issue.

  • shawn

    This is all stupidity and down right racism. I know a black woman who dates white men for one reason and one reason only. And thats for money. Most black woman date white men thinking they’re going to wisk them away and introduced them to a fairy tale world were they’ll be loved and a accepted and white men are going shower them with large sum of money. Given a credit card with no limits and have “pretty kids”. The ture is the exact opposite. White men only want black women simply for sexual reason and to use them as a arm piece.

    • makrell_i_tomat

      I will agree upon this article being racist, but so is your comment, witch makes you somehwat of an hypocrite.

  • prettyinpink116

    wow this articles so offensive! AND im not even black nor fully white! I’m a mix of spanish n Caucasian but wth is up w this??? AND i DID not get the reason on pg 2

  • Seppen

    Why not date an Asian man? We leave them out but interracial relationships do not have to be black and white all the time.

  • Lana Allen

    As a white women who dates both black and white men, I find #5,
    that white men don’t “glamourize” ignorance, to be ridiculous. I applaud this
    article for encouraging black women to give white men a chance. However,
    clearly the author has not been to a white frat party lately, where ignorance
    abounds, where commercial hip hop is simultaneously parodied and mocked, where
    women of all races are treated as objects and inferiors. I know I’m preaching
    to the choir on this website, but the source of this behavior is white privilege
    and white ignorance. There are good white men out there, who have made their
    black female partners very happy. However, for a lot of white men, white (male)
    supremacy silently guides their behaviors and opinions.

    As a white woman, I know that confronting my own privileges
    and ignorance is an ongoing process. Having dated white men, I also know that so
    many of them, ESPECIALLY the educated ones, believe that the world exists for
    them to run it and to dominate it. These particular white men take all the
    credit for their successes and none of the responsibility for the sufferings of
    others. Again, there are good white men out there, but lets not glamourize their social

  • http://obbop.wordpress.com/ obbop

    Never forget that there are decent, civil, moral and law-abiding gents roaming society who have decided for varied reasons that the institution of marriage is a dangerous ting to a fellow’s health, wealth and happiness.

    And procreating whether inside or outside of marriage is also to be studiously avoided.

    Sorry, girls… what you have to offer me trends towards the negative with the positives overwhelmed by your many negatives.

  • Uchenna101

    Please don’t mind this article. I am for black men because I have brothers and a father who defy these stereotypes. So don’t stop being you. We appreciate it.

    And thank you for not putting us down even though this woman put you down.

  • Aya

    These reasons are complete and utter nonsense and makes me so embarrassed!…We are who we are by choice nothing else especially not because of your race.I am never coming back on this site again!

  • Ty Ellison

    This writer opens up with the a reason to date a white guy is that he would be open about his homosexuality. Then it goes tragically downhill from there. Who wrote this? Sarah Palin? Bill O’Reilly? Nothing but awful, awful stereotypes. And I’m sure it’s been said before, but I’ll say it again… if someone wrote an article about why Black men should date white women, and the article listed one stereotype after another about Black women, what would this author say?

  • Eric Bowens

    Also shouldn’t it be 8 reasons to date a good man????

  • brian

    cooonery at its finest

  • GuyinPassaic

    Reason to marry a white man – you love each other and he’s good to you.

    Reason to marry a black man – you love each other and he’s good to you.

    Reason to marry any man – see above.

  • Andrea A.

    I find this very racist. not ALL black men are as described! Or the white men!! My brother (white) ran around on his wife and I don’t doubt he will again. My husband (black), however, has been good to me. No kids either! I find it very insulting.

  • chan

    No white men lack in so many categories their masculinity are always in question, besides being unattractive…yuk

  • John

    Yeah! Racism is OK again and can be fun!

  • Kim

    This article is terribly insulting, and the list are juvenile and unfounded. I’m so disappointed and disgusted that madamenoire would publish something like this. Endorsing black male stereotypes. Are black women hoes? Is that why we should be with a white man? Because he’s not afraid to “Wife a Hoe” GTFOH. Despicable.

  • Uchenna101

    Coming from a black woman, this is sad. When I look at my brothers (biological), I see all these comments you make being applied to them and it’s unfair. You don’t know all the black men in the world.

    A black man probably birth you (not literally). So why hate on him. If he was a good father, then how can you still generalize.

    I come from a great black family, so even when I see all this stereotypes, I have brothers and fathers that defy them and they keep me from generalizing.

  • Black is Beautiful

    This is complete ignorance and degradation of the Black man, family, and community. The arthur of this article has a serious issue with Black men and has no Black identity or relation to the Black-lived experience. Its sad to see the Willie Lynch Syndrome is working on this woman and the psychological effects of slavery has damaged this sisters goods towards the Black race. She should never write anything on Black people, especially Black men again directed towards Black women. Complete ignorance and lack of qualified statistical support for very poor researched arguments.

  • octavia

    I think this article were was filled with stereotypes and blatant misrepresentation of black man.I think the Arthur did more damage than good. if the author had any real good intentions why didn’t she write an article about working with black man with issues?it is very sad that she would discount black man as a whole. Believe me white man are not very different than it comes to insecurities, money, or family values. Which are all trades down on a human level. I’m sorry her daddy was not there for her, to teach her what to look for in a man and what to stay away from. I was blessed enough to have two uncles,a multitude of male cousins and a grandfather to teach me what I should be looking for in a mate.and what I should run far from when I see.

  • BlogBytch

    Then the pic of the black man pushed all the way to the back. This poorly written article was simply used as a tool to bash black men.

  • BlogBytch

    UUGGHHHHHH I HATE THIS. This article is STUPID. Knee-grows always promoting to love everyone else. I’m almost sure there will not be a single writer at Vogue.com that would submit to her editor a article telling her young white female readers the 8 reasons she should date a Black man, or Latino man, or Asian man. And if she did, I’m sure the editor would hand back a pink slip.

  • Mike B

    This nonsense is why everyone thinks so little of Black men. If our sisters, mothers, and neighbors think so little of us why should others think highly of us?! Thanks for being part of the problem.

  • Janez10

    I can’t believe how offensive this article was. Full of stereotypes. White culture? How about everyone else. I’m shocked this isn’t all over the news but then again something as offensive like only makes the news if it is written by a white male.

  • rosie1992

    I have no issue whatsoever with whomever any Black person decides to date or not date in general, but the reasons to date a White male in this article are utterly ridiculous, reflect an attitude of general self-hatred, and promote stereotypes that perpetuate the miscommunication of Black males and females a la “all men are dogs” “black men ain’t ish”. It’s tired as hell and it’s my feeling that she does this to create sensationalist comments that generate hits on her blog (you got me madamenoire, you to got me). Unfortunately someone one will see this post, repost on Facebook as if it’s the gospel and spur yet another unnecessary and completely nonconstructive discussion on the state of Black men in America. Good grief :/.

  • Caydence James

    As much as I want to stick up for BM, I couldn’t find one thing that this article said that wasn’t true on a MASSIVE SCALE. In other words, while this may not be true for all white men and all black guys may not be this way, the MAJORITY of the black men I’ve seen are this way. This is what I’ve seen after I’ve traveled extensively, lived in 4 different states on 2 different coasts and work in a professional environment.
    Seeing as though men are supposed to lead and we as women will only be comfortable in stepping aside if we feel SAFE enough to relax and be a woman, it only makes sense that a woman go for a man with the attributes that this article mentions because THAT’S what makes us feel safe. If that means that we have to find it in other men outside of our race then we might need to work on changing our preferences for the sake of the stability of our kids and for the long run. In other words, look after ourselves instead of running after what isn’t good for us and/or doesn’t want us to begin with. After all, that seems to be what the masses of black men are doing – looking after THEMSELVES.

    • brian

      ur a cooon for agreeing with this nonsense. And I hope u date white men cause u don’t deserve a good black one

  • insufferable_know_it_all

    And to the authors of all the biracial articles: Why are some of the men in your photos Asian or Hispanic? Did you not know that Asian and Hispanic people are NOT white?

  • Lakeisha Doodlebopz Grandmason

    …… Is this article suppose to be for real? My husband is white and none of these are any reasons why I married him. We fell in love. Period

    • Andrea A.

      Agreed! Who cares about race? If you ignore that and put yourself around all differnt groups, you’ll find the person right for you.

  • ElvisWasAHero2Most

    “8 Reasons to Date a White Man,” alternate title: “Bruthas Get ‘cha Act Together.”

  • noel

    As a black man, I happen to agree with the author’s generalization. As a person that has lived in different parts of the country, it is to my sadness to say that I know very few black men that I would actually trust my sister to have a relationship.

    • Uchenna101

      But you’re different, I hope. So still this article generalizes black men. It should say “some.”

      – Coming from a black female

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    How about 8 reasons for black women to NOT date outside of their RACE.. Or how about the consequences of race trading!!!!!!

    • Run

      Is that a threat? smh…

    • Andrea A.

      That’s just reverse racism. If you don’t choose it and just let it happen then you’ll find a lot more decent eligible men, no matter what race.

  • lacylexxi

    black men are animals. ghetto vulgar thugs

    • Uchenna101

      If you’re black, then you’re saying your father is all those things. If your father was even a pretty good father (like many black fathers I have been lucky to know) then this is just sad.

  • popcornpatty

    I would never date a black man. 95% of them are disgusting and act like savages. They are ghetto losers. I’m an educated and ambitious African American woman who graduated from the top of her school class. Why would I lower my standards with a black American man now?

    • Run

      Because there are black males who can relate to you and understand you.
      It is unfair to lump all black men together. The really good ones are not on tv and do not receive the publicity that rappers and athletes do, and even most of them get a bad…”rap”…for lack of a better expression. That’s no accident.
      I can understand your exasperation, but your prejudice is not only unfair to black men, it is unfair to YOU.

    • BlogBytch

      lol. Just from this comment, why would ANYONE want to lower their standards to date you. Have you been with 95% of black men?
      For someone who graduated “from the top of her class”, then you should have studied statistical data. So I ask you, where did you get those numbers from? What study did you do? That same study reached every black man?

    • Uchenna101

      But who said you can’t find an African American man with the same standards. There are out there. It might be hard to find, but they’re out there.

  • Sentimental1

    Kinda harsh (and does not apply to all Black men, but way too many nonetheless), but true. I saw some comments saying it’s black women’s fault. One guy (who head was shaved completely bald – go figure) even went into weaves and the like. Anyone who says it’s not true is lying or in denial.

    • Sentimental1

      I meant “whose,” not “who” in the second line.

  • Jermaine Simpkins

    White men dont want a hoe either. Dont insult the intellegence of White men. You think that they are lining up to marry you LOL. Black women, start respecting yourselves otherwise you will continue to be the least married sect in the US next asian men.

  • Jermaine Simpkins

    Black women and Asian men are the least married race in the US. Black women have some serious issues of their own. Lets not just blame Black men for them not marrying them. Oh and most White men wont date them either. All my White friends wont touch a Black woman because they feel that they are ugly and hatefull. A good amount of Black women arent even comfortable with who they are, wearing weaves in their heads because they are ashamed of who they are. This article was not really about Marrying a White guy but it was about why not to marry a Black guy. Dont use the downside of Black males to hype the White male. Use the Upside of White males to hype themselves because its silly to generalize and compare. Im Black, have a Masters Degree and I married an African from Africa because I am attracted to black skin but for me, most African American women are insecure and want White features, like white hair. Sistas, be happy with who you are and marry who you want to marry, understand that every race has good and bad.

    • Run

      White men mostly want to sleep with black women, but – believe it or not – there are good white men out there who are fair and would date or marry black women with kids.

      But the white men I watched date women in college were strictly after bragging rights. They bragged at how good the sex was and never carried the relationship beyond a few romps.

  • Opinions

    This article is invalid.Doesnt make sense once again just stereotypical opinions. Stop with the ‘which race is better’ non sense. Just look for a good man or woman, period.

  • Bryanna

    Dating a man of another race won’t help the black man or the black culture prosper. If all the black females start dating white men, the black culture will be more ruined than it already is.

  • DDM

    This article couldn’t be more accurate. Sorry (black) fellas. Statistics don’t lie.

    • Run

      Statistics don’t lie. But why do good, attractive, well-educated black men fall by the wayside? Black women don’t seem to want them either. The ironic part is that the white men they wind up with are very similar to the black men they reject.

  • Chicken

    I am a black man and everything as described in the ability of a white man I have and more. This is not community building… This is fuel for community burning. I can assure you there is a very large percentage of white men that have the same characteristics as described for black men in this article. Your minds are just so programmed to think that white men are the standard of which all others should follow. Black men will never become better when positioned to have to rely on a bogus standard of normality.

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  • sky

    I understand that you were attempting to prove a point of how our society is today and although you did state some facts such as the absence of father figures in black homes as well as the rates of black men dropping out, still, this article is extremely bias and stereotypical between black men and white men. Not all white men have these values…matter of fact, why make it about color anyways? Are we not living in a post-modern society? Do people really care that much about interracial relationships? Shouldn’t women be choosing their partners based on morals, education, background and personality (we can even through attraction in there too)? I’m just saying, you attract what you are.

  • Sportsdoc

    This article is insulting to the good black men and ads to their distaste for black women. Especially ones who make swooping generalizations. It’s great to be open minded to give others a chance but never at the expense of an entire race and gender. We’ve got to start building each other up and stop tearing each other down.

  • Really though?!

    This is, by far, the most ignorant, deluded, and disheartening post I’ve ever read to date. 1: It’s a huge slap in the to the MANY black men that I, (and many others) know who are the COMPLETE opposite of the stereotype that you are perpetuating. 2: it’s giving WAY too much credit to white men, as if many of them don’t have their demons and distorted thinking about black women/people. 3: it’s a testament to your inability to properly select a life partner. Now just because you messed up, you’re making it a ‘race’ issue. 4: it shows your commitment (or lack there of) to the black community. That’s just just the top of my head. Though I won’t go into detail or list more flaws in your misguided thoughts, there are SOO many more wrongs to dispute. Yes, the black community has its woes, but in contrary to the blatant propaganda the media has been feeding you (and you so indiscriminately / foolishly regurgitate) the whole ‘race’ of black men are NOT the same. Just like every black woman is not a promiscuous, sassy, loud, gum-poppin’, baby mama (and just like every white man isn’t a culturally enlightened, socially intelligent saint and savior), every black man Is NOT like the loser you decided to marry. People need to stop having firm opinions about ish they don’t know ish about. And such people shouldn’t have a platform to spread their distorted views.

  • GTodd

    I’m so sick of this crap. I can’t tolerate anyone degrading my sisters and I’ll be damned if I let this bs go. I can’t count how many good dudes sisters throw to the side because:
    He’s a nerd. That’s the guy that could reshape the world with a strong woman by his side. He’s the same guy that white women recognize is a prize and they rush to.
    He’s too nice. He’s they man that would treat you like a queen but is often ran over because you have to prove you’re the STRONG BLACK WOMAN.
    He dresses corny. Its a damn shame, but I’ve heard this too many times. I’ve even had sisters say I dressed too preppy. Did I abandon all sisters? NO I just found one with some damned sense in her head.
    He doesn’t have a degree. My father never had a degree but provided for his family and raised three college educated children.
    He don’t make enough money. Too many sisters are waaay to materialistic.
    He’s a friend. That’s the first person you should date!

    Unfortunately, many sisters don’t know what a good man looks like so they are now running to the one the media tells them is good. You’ll learn. The fact is you guys are as much a victim of the media as the rest of the world. YES there are a ton of no good black guys, but there are many great ones. And for the record I don’t care who you date. Just be happy. But don’t run our names through the mud to get there.

    • X

      Applaud this man.

      • GTodd

        Thanks. This foolishness really burns me up.

        • Andrea A.

          VERY well said!

  • Paige Morton

    This is one of the truest articles I have ever read. It described black men to a T, at least 95%.

    • Uchenna101

      I guess you’ve meant 95% of all black men then.

  • Bo

    There are levels to Ignorance and this is ignorance at its HIGHEST LEVEL Jesus why is there so much racial division amongst the black community and Hispanics, Whites, Asians, Africans, Arabs, Indians etc. all stick together. I have plenty of friends (all black men) that have college degrees and are waiting until marriage to start a family (i.e. no kids) please don’t let your hurt past destroy the mindset and ideals of a entire community, your hurting more than your helping babe.

  • kushite

    Further more, this is what happens in war, THE MEN ARE DESTROYED AND THE WOMEN ARE TAKEN. never thought ide see the day when the black woman became proud of her nations defeat and her rape (albeit mental)

  • Kushite

    it would appear that the author is influencing black woman leave black men to die because they are of no value what so ever vs. repairing the damage caused by white suprmacy further pushing the agenda of white supremacy. This thinking plays right into the hands of the perpetuators of black genocide. do not forget sistas, those brothas could not have passed into this Realm if it were not for yourYOU and your Wombs. You LITTERALLY Created BLACK MEN…. litterally…. RAISE YOUR BABIES
    ~ ((((( spite white supramacies clandestined agenda to stop you from raising them ))))

  • screagle101

    2. “where the men seek to care for the women.”
    Why should any man be willing to take care of a grown, independent, fully capable woman ?
    7. Why should any man have to settle for making hoes housewives? How bout not being a hoe?

  • enochmubarak


  • http://losttribeofshabazz.com/ Tamara Gozan

    I feel like this article is no different than the ones that disparage black women and encourage black men to date white women. Nothing but an affront to the black family. There are plenty of black men out there that have these qualities. They get labeled as nerds, herbs, and squares. I think that encouraging someone to date another simply based on race is ridiculously stupid.

  • Wonnetta Wilson

    I really don’t see what all the hoopla is about. I’m in favor of men marrying women because they love them, whatever color. Whatever prejudice one has, I believe is personal. A lot of mixed-emotions and feelings are being tossed around but the bottom line is, if we can accept gays and respect their rights to be loved and be together. We ought to be able to accept mixed crayons, with or without the flesh, black or white colored ones.

  • Wonnetta Wilson

    You would think that White men feel that their forefathers did a great job of mixing the races. Why should they have to, except out of Love and devotion.

  • Sammy White

    Who wrote this article? It sounds like something a white supremacist would say about black males.

  • Gozz

    Can anyone here tell me when someone stops seeing the color of someone’s skin? Is it possible that predominately educated people, white or black, stop seeing race as an issue? Every race of people on Earth has their good and bad seeds. As a white man, I can tell you there is no difference between an educated black man and an educated white man. Both seem to have their heads on straight and subscribe to dating anyone with intelligence. Why do we, as a society, place a label on a race of people? Why do we keep calling black people “African-Americans”? Were they born in Africa? My heritage is from England but I do not refer to myself as “English-American”. If you are born in America then you are an American. Put the labels away.

  • drakvl

    I am a white male, and this list makes me very uncomfortable. (And as someone who grew up in backwoods Louisiana, I can assure you that there are plenty of ignorant white folk.)

  • Chill Chick

    The last time I was involved with a black guy was my freshman year in college. I just had too many bad experiences with black guys. They walked around thinking they were God’s gift and it was my duty to put out for them. A lot of them played up the gangsta street thug persona even if they were from more affluent backgrounds than me, and they were very disrespectful to me. All they cared about was getting in my pants and once that was accomplished, suddenly I was a low-life ho and not good enough for them. I had almost given up on sex altogether when I hooked up with a white guy on a whim, and it blew my mind that someone could be so gentle and affectionate in bed, and put my pleasure before his. Since then pretty much all my friends, platonic or not, have been white and Asian guys. I just feel more comfortable and relaxed with them. It’s not like I swore I would never sleep with another black guy, I just haven’t met one who would make me go back after being with so many gentlemanly, respectful guys. I especially love Midwestern boys because they are usually so sweet and polite. Often I’m the only black girl they’ve ever made love to, and they treat me like an exotic goddess, which is fine with me. Obviously I’m not saying all white guys are like that but I’ve learned that I don’t have to settle for less than I deserve.

    When I’m ready to settle down, it’ll probably be with a white or Asian man, because he is more likely to be on the same page as me in terms of working hard for a good career and a stable long term relationship, whereas black men in my experience are more immature, self-centered and short-term focused.

    Call me an oreo all you like, I’m too busy having fun to care. I deserve a hell of a lot better than to be someone’s booty call or baby mama.

    • GTodd

      No one is calling you an oreo, but I think folks need to take some ownership. The problem I have with many sisters is that they seek after the jocks, or the the bad boys, and then want to generalize all Black men because those relationships end predictably bad. If you just like White or Asian guys, then have at it. But do so knowing that YOU are not able to identify what a good Black man looks like, not that good Black men don’t exist.

  • jjr153

    Tat, you realize that you are the exception not the rule. If most black men were like you there wouldn’t be a 70% illegitimacy rate in the black community. How many black men do you know that are like you? How many black men do you know that have multiple children with multiple mothers? Which number is higher? How many black men do you know that think getting an education is acting white? How many black men do you know that admire and maybe aspire to the gangsta style and life? Congratulations, more people both black and white should imitate your example.

    • Rob Turenne

      “How many black men do you know that are like you? How many black men do you know that have multiple children with multiple mothers? Which number is higher? How many black men do you know that think getting an education is acting white? How many black men do you know that admire and maybe aspire to the gangsta style and life? ” Is too true!! I have a friend who is well spoken and in College and he is often told he isn’t Black enough.

  • Eric Matterson

    I have to call BS on #5. Lots of BM have enough sense to know Fact from Fiction. It’s all about culture. If a WM is exposed to enough Black culture and is accustomed to it and acts it out, then they are likely to date BW That is the real reason why most BF don’t date WM. It is a cultural thing. And if they choose to do so, a WM that likes and understands Black culture would be the best reason

  • Latoya

    This is the type of deplorable writing that makes people believe things like this is true. A huge part of my brain washed off to the wayside reading this mind numbing article. I suppose ALL black women are a bunch of BET listening, booty shaking hoes who have bad credit and are simply waiting on some knight in shining armor to come save us. Thanks for setting back black women a few centuries. Race doesn’t define someone’s economic status nor their character. I found all of these materialistic and charming categories in my own BLACK husband and believe me, it’s not as rare as you make it seem. Women and Men need to step it up on their self worth and stop looking for this instant gratification in everyone. List down your greatest qualities and flaws and start comparing notes with another person. Then write down what you WOULDN’T accept from someone and just maybe, MAYBE, you’ll have someone of any race to be with you. Too many people jump into relationships not knowing themselves or their self worth that they fall for these stereotypes of so called “black men” but there’s a bunch of white men trying to be just like the stereotypes you painted about the black man. Absolute joke.

  • Christina K

    Man…this coming out of Madam Noire. I can’t say I’m too surprised. If we’re generalize our own, don’t get mad when ‘they’ do it. Sure, we have some problems that stem from a history of oppression (still ongoing, mind you) but this article is not only horribly inaccurate, it’s also irresponsible. Don’t speak upon black issues without addressing the entire societal structure that has caused this economic divide.

  • rosie1843

    I can find 2 reasons to date a white man, a black man, a man of Asian descent, a man of Middle Eastern descent . . . or any other man for that matter.

    Reason 1 – Attraction

    Reason 2 – . . . or Love

  • Dustan M. Howell

    And if I was a white man I’d be offended by this article. Saying white men are more than willing to turn a hoe into a housewife basically insults their intelligence. Being willing to turn a hoe into a housewife isn’t a compliment.

  • Marina Calis

    I agree with everyone of these….I refuse to deal with a black man and his ignorance again…Not saying there are not any brother’s out there but the one’s that are genuine are married the single one’s are in love with themselves,

    • GTodd

      I’ll say again people like you need to take some ownership. The problem I have with many sisters is that they seek after the jocks, or the the bad boys, and then want to generalize all Black men because those relationships end predictably bad. And if the good men are married, why don’t you accept that you are doing something wrong and find out what those women who identified a good man are doing right?



  • T—

    In reality I think we have come to understand that the statistical truth has become very difficult to argue with, so rather than being a point of discussion which is difficult for black men to reconcile, it is couched as “racism”. This has become so true, that now it seems everything criticism, no matter how supported by the facts, is racism. I dated an african-american (actually bi-racial) girl in college, and she was abused by friends, family and race. She was lovely, smart, funny, and confident. I’ve thought her a lot over the years, wondering why what was good enough for her father wasn’t good enough for her. The black community often seems out of sync to me, expecting far more than they are willing to give. There is no value in culture wars, they only perpetuate separation.

  • Michael Lee Washington

    I’m totally disgusted at this whole line of thinking. No wonder white people view black males as lazy good for nothing…etc. Our OWN WOMEN view us this way…..like I said disgusting point of view. I guess I could write a stereotypical article on black women and say that well if only BLACK WOMEN ACTED MORE LIKE WHITE WOMEN….I’m sure that would go over well……

  • boop

    Just saying, as a black girl whose main preference is for white boys, I think this list is bs. White guys are no better than black guys. Here’s a reason to date a white guy- you like white guys. A reason to date a black guy? You like black guys. Simple.

  • scandalous7

    idiotic assumptions and generalizations wont get black women no where.Point , blank, and period .

  • Mike

    I was getting some education in Black culture until a I read that a White man could “turn a hoe into a princess.” Then it stopped being humorous and informative.

    • GTodd

      Brother, please don’t think this is our culture. lol And you should be mad as hell at that statement.

  • anonymous white male

    I read the article and found it interesting. It’s always helpful to gain insight from a perspective one can’t possibly have experienced. I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity luster.

    I’d like to suggest that those of us who do not wish bring our own culture to a relationship, i.e. reject much of our “birth culture”, find it easier to be creative and original with partners whose culture is totally different than our own. This is especially the case with mixed race couples of any variety.

  • BMB

    This is obviously satire

  • Amari Rene

    I would have been remissed if I did not reply to this waste of journalism. Can we do nothing more than tear each other down. 8 Reasons to date a white man, are you kidding me? How about 8 Reasons why middle and upper class blacks should live and invest in black communities or 8 Reasons why we should open our own businesses or 8 Reasons why we should serve as mentors to young people. No, those would have begun to help black people actually become investors in our own communities, but that is not the goal. This article is trash and does nothing more but add to the breaking down of the black psyche. If we are trying to tear down one another, then a hand clap for you, but what good does this article do? Shame on you

  • Clybourn

    If this came from a site who’s targeted demographic was causations, Rev. Al and Rev. Jesse would be on this like a Harlemite on a watermelon. (If you can stereotype, so can I)

    • GTodd

      Ummm…whats a causations?

  • Jon


  • Patricia Hutchinson

    Being a black woman who has always dated white men even as a
    teen I feel I should break these down.

    I have white gay friend s that just now came out
    (23) not sure is that too long. My half brother was about that age when he did

    Yea right. I dated an alcoholic with mommy
    issue, and a 35 year old manager at a Jamba Juice who took my pay check to pay
    HIS car loan. My last ex was unemployed
    for 2 months and used my unemployment to help pay his bills when he couldn’t
    get any. My current boyfriend is adamant about not having me take care of him.
    So it’s true for SOME

    Not true either. Neither my current boyfriend
    nor my ex’s finished college. Some were going through school but stopped for
    financial reasons and some dropped out still none of them has their diploma

    True. Only one had a kid outside of wedlock, All
    the rest were married before and my boyfriend and I talk about marriage first
    then kids

    True but it’s when they try to “act black” (not
    talking about wiggas I’m talking about out of nowhere they start acting black
    while wearing Abercrombie and Fitch) to connect with me do they sound ignorant
    as hell.

    True, just because my ex’s had no problem taking
    my money didn’t mean they didn’t have a plan financially; They just conveniently
    had it when they spent all theirs. Only my curent boyfriend has a budget.
    However this maybe because he is European and in Europe most jobs pay monthly.
    So budgeting is habit for him.

    Can’t say my past isn’t bad.

    Considering that some let me take care of them
    they sure don’t. My boyfriend does. He wasn’t comfortable with me trying to fix
    my car by myself and makes comments like “I will work two jobs if it means taking
    care of you” Like I said he refuses to let me help financially. Keep in mind he is European/Belgian so of
    course his values will be different from American white men. As for American
    white men don’t believe the hype, they can just be as trifling.

  • Mehiella Satchi

    I’m not even black but I got offended for black men after reading this. Not every black man is the hoodrat/wannabe G this article makes them out to be!

  • Deedee

    This article is racist and very misguided. The writer aught to have been held to some kind journalistic integrity. Research with real hard stats might have helped these poor arguments. Where is an editor when you need one. Instead of writing jade judgements about black men maybe the writer aught to look at social historical background, or write about real successful relationships.

  • Kimmy

    I’m going to spell it out, because CLEARLY it isn’t clicking for everyone. In America black men are a MINORITY. In America a huge percentage of that minority are doing one of two things: A. Playing basketball in the prison yard OR B. Collecting baby mama’s. These clear and OBVIOUS facts leaves an even SMALLER number of “fit” black men for “fit” black woman to mingle with. And the chances of the “fit” black man meeting a “fit” black woman, who hasn’t crossed paths with the not so fit black man, is slim. So what do you end up with? An endless number of black single woman raising babies, gay black woman, and single independent black woman ( who are using the BM for sex or raising him as her own baby). At this point black men are reading the memo and moving to a MUCH LARGER PLAYING FIELD, non-black woman, where the odds are not stacked against them. Why black woman are rejecting this memo beats ME.

    My message to all black woman, stop seeing color and start SEEING CHARACTER!

  • Kimmy

    I’m going to spell it out, because CLEARLY it isn’t clicking for everyone. In America black men are a MINORITY. In America a huge percentage of that minority are doing one of two things: A. Playing basketball in the prison yard OR B. Collecting baby mama’s. These clear and OBVIOUS facts leaves an even SMALLER number of “fit” black men for “fit” black woman to mingle with. And the chances of the “fit” black man meeting a “fit” black woman, who hasn’t crossed paths with the not so fit black man, is slim. So what do you end up with? An endless number of black single woman raising babies, gay black woman, and single independent black woman ( who are using the BM for sex or raising him as her own baby). At this point black men are reading the memo and moving to a MUCH LARGER PLAYING FIELD, non-black woman, where the odds are not stacked against them. Why black woman are rejecting this memo beats ME.

    My message to all black woman, stop seeing color and start SEEING CHARACTER!

    • ThoughtsNsuch

      So incredibly true. I do understand the stigma though, I’ve had friends explain to me why they don’t want to date outside their race AND on the flip-side how they don’t want to “become their mother” by waiting for a guy in their race to come to them with great character and morals.

      I feel for the ladies struggling with these issues. My heart goes out to them for sure.

    • GTodd

      I don’t have a problem with who anyone dates..I have a problem with the author of this post generalizing and disrespecting Black men to do so.

  • Bryan

    Being a white man, I choose the “MGTOW” movement. Look it up women…men in general are tired and had enough.

  • azoe17

    This is an article that can not be taking serious at all. This is clearly written from the prospective of someone who have never dated white men. The things listed are so blatantly misguided. None of the things that she mentioned is true of all white men at all. I know too many black women who are happy and married to black and white men. And none of them have these racists and undereducated viewpoints. There are reasons to explore your options. However, the ones that are listed are simply untrue and are just sweeping inaccurate generalizations. Any woman who date outside of her race expecting something different will be completely disappointed. I have seen it with my own eyes. There are good and bad men in all races. And you will date good and bad people as a learning process throughout life. But if you think that some man of another race is going to magically make all your problems go away you will be really disappointed. I know black women who had problems with black men who started dating only white men. And they are having the exact same problems as before, just with a man of a different race. The people who have had success outside their race that I know personally. Are the people who had success inside their race dating,

  • kina

    The funny thing is this article was COMPLETELY on point! Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but every white guy I have dated has had those same values! The only thing is my bf now isnt that good with managing money, neither of us is. but we def dont spend it on rims! and we are both working on it together. my fav was the one about rap music! lol love, love this article!

  • K

    This is pretty funny. Clearly broad-brush in the extreme, but humorous in places.

  • Reek

    sooo dating your friends ex is ok with you? A hoe is a hoe, why would anyone in their right mind want to turn one to a housewife? Are you thinking straight?

  • http://www.basabose.me/ Mr Basabose

    I’ve never read so much nonsense in just one article in my entire life… SMH

  • Terry Jones

    For the most part, in my life experience, this is a load of crap!

  • Guest

    Let’s discredit a few of the idiotic statements made in this article with a back story of mine. I’m a white woman who was engaged to a white man for 3 1/2 years. We had two children together before I found out he had impregnated another woman and was using meth on a regular basis as well as stealing money from me. He abandoned his child with mother #2, went on to have a child with mother #3, then (here’s the real kicker) had another child with mother #4 who also happened to be the daughter of mother #3. Currently, he is not taking care of any of the five children he has “sprinkled” around the country (in 3 different states). I’m now married to a black man who has a steady job, is going to college, and is a fabulous husband and father to our three kids. You, author, come off as a completely ignorant and racist individual.

  • Nissa

    while i think u should lose the expletives, i do agree with you that it’s an American thing, smh.

  • Nissa

    while i think u should lose the expletives, i do agree with you that it’s an American thing, smh.

  • Nissa

    I really like this article. She’s not saying that all black men are this way. The fact is that many black women are single because they are not open minded enough to date outside of their race and the author is trying to encourage black women to be open minded and step out because face it, if we wait around for our own we’ll be in trouble. When a black man has it going on he thinks he’s the ish and the best thing around town so he finds it hard to commit or he may even go after a woman of another race. As for marriage men from all other races (and cultures) commit and marry the one they love but our black men in America (whether they immigrated or not) have a complex and it’s sad. I’m very thankful for the black men who go against the norm of the community but i’m not sure that there are any left for me :-(.

  • Wunfoe

    Hey beautiful sisters, in this day and
    age, I have no problem with our sisters dating other races. As a black man with
    a career and family, I just want to see our sisters experience success in
    developing solid family structures based on marriage and economic independence.
    Unfortunately, there aren’t enough successful brothers to assist in
    achieving this basic objective. I don’t make any excuses or play the blame game
    anymore. Any way you slice the pie, the by product will be of African American
    decent and I know my sisters will pass down the great heritages and traditions
    of our forefathers.

    We are a dying breed…..Get to work…

  • Stan Kenton

    I am not able to go through all of these comments so I don’t know if anyone has commented on the fact that this author is married to a black man. I don’t get the sense that she is unhappy with her choice but that maybe she perceives that other women feel they have limited choices and this author is showing them a way to broaden their relationship horizons.

  • Don J

    “Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? It’s because they don’t let the past hinder the present. ”

    Wow! That’s too funny. As if black women would never get a certain way about their exes dating their friends. And as a college educated black man who’s never been married before with NO CHILDREN, I find the person who wrote this article pathetic because she’s going off of all the bad apples in her life that SHE chose.

    But whatever. Get you White Knight on all you want. I’d give ANYTHING, i mean ANYTHING, to see your face when you’re walking your biracial child in the park and someone mistakes you for the nanny. I wonder if you have a brother, father, male cousin, uncle, or early teen nephew who may have read this. I wonder how do they feel about what you thnk of them. They might as well think you’re talking about them since all you do is generalize.

    • Onyx

      Its official!! Black men watch out for RACIST Black Women in 2013!!!!

  • Guest

    The fact that the only examples of “beautiful black women” you could come up with were Somalian, Ethiopian and Eritrean is disturbing. Don’t you dare say they are the only black women there because that is BS. You go for a certain look and anything else is not even on your radar. You have some self hate going on. Yes you do. Choosing a VERY specific look of black women (Ethiopian, Eritrean) is just as problematic as going to another race entirely.

  • White Boy

    Just date someone you like….

  • yoyodre

    Its ironic that the comments require approval for profane or derogatory language, but this entire derogatory, fallacious, opinionated-rather-than-factual article was approved. This is ridiculous. All these problems exist in all types of men all over the planet. This is drama to feed and fuel the bitter and soon to be barren.

  • Shay Blue

    I think I understand what the author was trying to do but it sounds extremely racist. I think what she was trying to say was black women shouldn’t be so close minded when it comes to dating and they shouldn’t just date black men. However the author saying things like “what are you waiting for a baby and no ring” is very problematic. This article needs to be taken down or edited, it’s offensive.

  • NormalGuy

    Im Glad That Some People Agree With My Views When I Saw This I Couldn’t Believe How Much She Put The “Blacks” In An Outcasted Position. This Is Simply Racist

  • Courtney B.

    And one more thing: don’t get mad at any man for having his babies and for him not marrying you. Unless he raped you, you are responsible for your sexual and relationship decisions. If you want to be married then have children, conduct your sex life and relationship accordingly (i.e. birth control or abstinence).

  • Courtney B.

    I’m a Black woman who thinks interracial relationships are great and I’ve liked a number of White men…and Black, Latino, and Asian men because I just like men. It’s sad that this article encourages a stereotype of Black women as bitter, gold digging, complainers. It also invokes a number of stereotypes against Black men and makes White men out to be angels. Men are men and yes their are cultural differences but their is no ideal race or ethnicity. Interracial relationships should come about because of prejudice for a race or culture, self-hate or as means of “getting back” at someone (ex. get back at Black men for dating non-Black women).

  • Jim

    The article should read “Reasons to marry an educated middle class white male from a good family than a ghetto black guy.” I’m white and take it from me, there’s plenty of ignorant and irresponsible white guys out there. But a hard reality for black women is that more black women pursue education and a sane middle class lifestyle than black males. I think black women have recovered more swiftly from slavery because until the 20th century all women were pretty much slaves anyway. I think black men are still sorting out the effects of having their manhood broken in order to serve as slaves. A few dozen white men couldn’t keep order on a plantation with thousands of slaves through sheer force. It wasn’t like they had AC-30 gunships back then. They kept order through a mental conditioning program designed to make a black man believe that he could not take care of himself and he needed “massah” for his survival and well being. Why do you think black people have none of their original names or languages? They do the same thing in cults. They give you a new name (Starchild or Moondaughter), make you dress weird and forbid all contact with friends, family and all elements of your old life. You become submissive and obedient. Will probably take a few generations to work out. A black President is a good start. Plus there is an accumulation of wealth in the black community due to entertainment and sports. Those kids will have the resources to become leaders for the future. But there will always be some knucklehead thug out there just like there’s always some bozo country boy who will burn down a bar because he got pissed at the owner for cutting him off (true story.)

  • Nicholas. X. W. Williams

    Many white men complain of having A too educated woman and say that they are headaches to deal with.

  • Stacy Decossas

    i’m white and i’m offended by this. aren’t we trying to get away from sterotyping? black men act like thugs and white men are financial superior? wtf?

  • Ebony

    WOW! Just WOW in the face that none of these ASSumptions made by the author has any basis in fact nor reality…She makes wildly presumptuous accusations by insinuating that white men dont have babies all over the place, are more financially stable and have a better idea on what manhood is…wow its clear that she hasnt met the white men that I have. Men of all races do the things she accuses black men of doing. As far as black men dating white women this is more hype than reality. Of course they date outside their race but its not happening at break neck speed. The media will have you believe that black men are simply dying to be with a white woman when that can be further than the truth. They will point out a few black celebs dating white women Michael Jordan, Kanye and Tiger Woods and all the sudden every black man is dating or wants one?? Please its hype. Perhaps she cant find a decent brother because she keeps going to the club or bar to find one. There are some brothers who believe it or not want to find love and have their heads on straight. The assumptions she lists are all the very wrong reasons to date a white man or any man for that matter.

  • Damon

    You might not be aware of this but this entire article is full of shite. I am more offended by the bold blanket assumptions in this article than anything Paula Dean has done.

  • Keema Crayola Farrow

    This whole list is so silly….

  • World traveler

    I am a black American woman who has dated both black and white men, as well as Asian and Indian men. I have been married twice: First to an East Indian man, and second to an black man. Currently, I am dating a white man. Fact: there are good and bad men in every race, and one race does not treat a woman better than another. I personally know black men who are outstanding husbands and fathers, and I know white men who are losers and vice versa. The key is to be open to finding a “good” man NOT a “white” man as color does NOT determine character.

  • rethink

    So I get that there are socialization issues that may rationalize your points, but this article paints a picture of a white savior. As you pointed out some cultural aspects that have shaped black men, it would be irresponsible to paint this one sided picture of white men. Let us not forget their past and their culture of oppressing that has so readily shaped them for generations. It is equally as dangerous to believe in this “white messiah” as it is to not let yourself be open to love in all forms. A white man is not the answer, a good man is, as a matter of fact a God fearing man is the answer.

  • nims

    I’m biracial; my mother is black. My dad is the one who fucked up and left me and left her to raise me and my siblings. He was also rather stupid and petulant. I’ve had horrible relationships with white men. You are overgeneralizing.

  • nims

    Not all white men are like the ones you’re describing, nor are all black men.

  • Ed

    Heh heh, it’s Black this and Black that but “white” gets the lowly lowercase w.

    That’s racist!

  • http://starswired.com/ ☮ Djed ☥ Freethinker

    The writer deems white men as Gods. LOL

  • http://starswired.com/ ☮ Djed ☥ Freethinker

    The writer deems white men as Gods. LOL

  • Ashley McCollum

    This article is offensive and offensively inaccurate. The “turn a hoe into a housewife” comment is deplorable at best. To even make an article entitled ‘8 Reasons To Date A White Man’ is suspect from the beginning. How about 8+ reasons to seek out meaningful relationships, regardless of race? I strongly question the writer’s intent…this obviously was not written from a place of ethos, pathos, or logos.

  • Chey

    AGREE 100%! Couldn’t had stated it better! Love this article because it’s so true!

  • Pete

    So well said! More worried about playing the victim to see how much they can milk that for.

    • Tracey Ratchford

      We don’t need to milk anything… facts are facts…

  • jordan’smommy

    I do somewhat agree with this. however i don’t generalize it to all black men.

  • http://www.survivingdating.com/ Deborrah Cooper

    Finally an article that tells truth. The culture of White America is very different, and the socialization of white males very different from black males as well. This article speaks truth. Most white guys I’ve met WANT a woman to have sexual experience and are not looking for a virgin. They want you to know what you are doing when they get into bed with you. Good job.

    • http://starswired.com/ ☮ Djed ☥ Freethinker

      Just by reading your comment, I can tell you sleep around immensely and brothers won’t to put a ring because you have a bad rep in the hood. pity! LOL

      • Onyx

        Translation: I am a hoe and black men don’t like it.

  • JustWow

    Wow! Racist much?! Apparently this author receives all of her views about “black men” from Lil Wayne lyrics! I am appalled that people believe this is true for an entire gender and race of people. How ridiculous is that?! Never, in the history of EVER, has any one thing been true for any one subject matter! This article does not apply to my current partner, NOR will it ever apply to my son! Both of whom happen to be black! So screw you very much, lady!

    • Onyx

      The hypocrisy is allot of black females out there are supporting and taking care of the little wayne types of men while simultaneously degrading him. I am not talking about the young ghetto types of BW either ( at least they are real about acknowledging their activities )). I am talking about some of the hypocrites on this very thread who use to drop-it-like-its-hot for the “sorry-arse” black man they are now lamenting against.. Now that she is finish playing with him she wants to mold him to something that suits her needs. Its insanity on full display. Its like they keep going around in circles in a cul-de-sac when you could of just exited on the straight away path loooooog time ago. You all are not some dumb victims of the “evil” black man…please stop the madness.


    Ignorant. Either this article was written by a white man or this lady is wholly offended that black men exist. I’ve heard this tune before. “White is right.” Seems she is well trained.

  • EqualOpportunity

    Unfortunately, most of this is true about most black American men. I know my history, but I don’t live in the past. I don’t go looking for reasons to play the blame game when it comes to issues of race in the U.S. I’ve been treated better by more non-blacks than I have my own people. Our elders preach the past, but unfortunately many of them don’t tell how to overcome and see past it. My ancestors are black, white, and native American Indian. I know about the struggles they had and how my family got to where they are. I’ve watched what happens when people live in the past and not see what the future can be. We have scars to remind us where we come from, but you have to learn from them as well and try to make a better future for the next generations so that we can overcome the unfortunate stereotypes that we have taught ourselves and our generations to live by. We can do so much better than what we are doing.

    • Onyx

      Riiiiight… do you hold all the stereotypes of Black women to be true as well? All Black women are hoten-tot-venus jezebel, baby making, welfare queen pieces of human filth sucking the life out of the rest of a responsible society?

  • Maria

    This is so racist! I can’t believe You would allow this s.itty piece of garbage to go online.
    Just imagine the commotion if all the “white man” was swapped with “black man”.


    Madam Noire does what ever she can to put down the black man. Everything is done in a psychological way to strip the black man of his masculinity and uplift black women to continue to dump on black men

    • Onyx

      its like jewish females foaming at the mouth over the virtues of skinheads or NAZI party men. All is well. All is forgotten. Please give me more…smh.

  • ash

    I have to say this article is very, very generalizing towards black men. People are people, whether they drop out of college, or have babies outside of marriage or whatever else they’re claiming that “all black men do”. Last time I checked, all types of men do these things to a certain extent and that simply depends on what kind of person you are, not traits that are strictly limited to your skin color. But anyways, with that being said, I do find that a lot of black women are scared sometimes to get out there and try something new. If your attracted to only black men that that’s cool but I just find that love is hard to come by these days. So, if you meet someone who likes you and treats you right, no matter what color they are, don’t be afraid to step out the box and go for it.

  • KRB

    As a black female who is currently dating a white male, I find this completely disrespectful to both races. “White men go to school…white men attempt to marry before making babies.” Seriously? A nice, huge heaping handful of black men do too….this is ridiculous. I’ve seen a whole bunch of trifling white boys, too. Maybe this was actually supposed to be satire and it went over my head this time…..

  • Fuckthissite

    Im a young black male. I speak with intelligence and I own my own business. I’ve served my country and yea I didnt have a father but I didnt need him to know I dont wanna be like him. I dont have any babies and I can take care of myself. Highly offended. Check yourself.

  • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

    From the way you sound, specially with the classy comment, usually means if the money ain’t right I am moving on. Kanye Voice: “Now, I ain’t saying she a gold digger, ‘But’…………” Yes indeed good luck too you/y’all!

  • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

    Brother so would a lot of African American men, but The standards given out by white American as to how Black men and women here should relate to each other as oppose to how things were is all missed up. Frankly, I would love to have one of the 3 other choices in sistas you mentioned. At least they would give a brotha a chance to approach and respect them. I have date one of the 3 groups you mentioned and it’s was a great experience. Sound like you have a chance at a nice life man, you better hop on it!

    • pepjrp

      The standards given out by white American as to how Black men and women here should relate to each other??? Your comment is so pathetic… and would be funny, if you didn’t actually believe it. Whites don’t give you a thought in how you should relate. Go blame that on yourself and maybe the Democratic Party.

      • P Done

        “give you a thought in how you should relate to a woman, unless you are talking about the Democratic Party” Article aside just inquiring as to why you believe this. FYI, not a judgement, just an interest in this comment.

    • Guest

      Yes because Ethiopian, Somalian and Eritrean women are a monolith. They must all give you the time of the day. SMH. You are perpetrating the very thing you despise about this article. The difference is that some of the issues brought up by this article are culturally true. What the hell do you know about Ethiopians, Somalians and Eritreans? Gosh the hypocrisy! You want to judge entire groups based on the experience of one person but you have a problem when this is done with black men? SMH.

  • Kevin

    LMAO at this trashy article. Even with all of that, only 9% of black women are able to date and marry outside the race compared to the 23% of black men that are able to do so. It’s funny how black women revere men who see them as nothing more than bed wenches.

  • Grace

    Are you kidding? I hope you used the 2nd degree in this topic!

    What about white men in Jerry Springer show???

  • Corleone

    “I am married to a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth.”–MadameNoire.

    You know, it’s just WEIRD to praise MEN like this & say they are physically beautiful & everything. This is just something MEN usually say about WOMEN. I never hear/read Black men saying that “there is nothing more beautiful on this earth” when describing Black women. As a woman, I feel a little bit embarrassed that you are you are describing Black men like this. Plus Black women make more money than them I guess and…I mean who’s the MAN in this dynamic?? I notice that White men praise White women like this constantly, and describe them as “the most beautiful thing on earth”, ect. but White men are MEN talking about WOMEN. This is just too weird. Or maybe I’m over-reacting. In any event, still weird. Take care.

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  • Child_Puhleez

    Look, we all have our preferences – that’s what makes us individuals. I happen to agree with 5 points addressed in the article, solely based on a great deal of my experiences (though I’ve never been what most would call a ‘serial dater’.)

    Don’t wanna sound cliche, but love truly has no color. Everyone should be able to date someone who treats them with the utmost love and respect – something the author did indeed fail to suggest. :-/

  • Anya

    I am so disgusted with this article and it’s acceptance of stereotypes and conjecture as fact. :-/ Do better Madame Noire.
    The disclaimer that the author has a black mate also is disappointing. What if she does? It is as bad as a white person saying “I have black friends!” After they say something offensive. So?

    • Anya


  • http://twitter.com/cj04131984 C J

    This is offensive, tasteless, and makes sweeping generalizations about black and white men. I am half black and half white. When my father, who was black, passed away, my mother began a relationship with an alcoholic, couldn’t keep a job, misogynistic, abusive, useless excuse for a (white) man. He was not smart with money, he was unkind and just plain evil, and he definitely didn’t care about marriage and lived with my mother for 14 years with no mention of it. As of now he has at least two children, one of whom is being raised by some other man, the other, I believe he has abandoned to pursue his drunken endeavors. He fathered one child before he was with my mother, and one after they broke up.

    Yes, some black men have issues. But I won’t be dating them. No matter what ethnicity, I would date men who have all of those good qualities, regardless. Saying that black men all do this or that, father out of wedlock kids, don’t respect women–that’s crap. SOME do. And some are great with money, faithful to their wives, and responsible citizens in society.

    I also need to say that if a man was raised by a single mom, that is not his fault. Plenty of men raised by single mothers, whose fathers were losers, turn into good, respectable people.

    This article is just hateful. I am really offended and quite honestly repulsed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Mikeylewi L Michael Lewis

    Hey what’s all the buzz about…there would always be a couple of my black sisters who need a white guy to validate their existence (I have nothing against white guys, mind you)…it’s just their choice, their insecurity, their need to feel ‘accomplished’ by having a white guy, at all cost …just pity them and look for those independent thinking black sisters whose self image are intact…

  • Ladybug81

    Wow. I can’t believe that u had the nerve to post this insane and wholly inaccurate article without doing one stitch of research. I have been with my white man for years! And I have watched him and his brothers and cousins and uncles and so forth. Nothing that u have described is true at all. U r a complete idiot! Have u ever dated a white man??? Some of the most stable and loving men I have dated have been black. Economic status determines a lot. Not skin colour. Although my man is white, I am offended for black men. As a black woman who has dated both black and white men equally, I can say there is absolutely no truth to anything u wrote. U simply just wrote down commonly known stereotypes. It wasn’t even creative or thought provoking. It was just awful.

  • huh_saywhaaaatttt

    many of these post i feel are tearing the image of the brothers down … like a poster said, you cant paint all bm with the same brush … true the stats speak for themselves but at the end of the day, i feel alot of failed relationships, black white or other, have more to do with maturity than anything… maybe i am living in a tunnel but i definitely dont feel the way half the posters feel … im aa female, and i feel in general dating in itself is a hit or miss… jmo … ive only been in 2 real relationships .. one i am currently 2 years in … and in ultimate love with my partner, the other one was a hs sweetheart, and for lack of better terms .. we just grew apart … i never blamed slavery, or bet for this (wtf) .. it is what it is … ive had “friends” in between those periods … but again … i never felt the way you guys are feeling … ever … and i have only dated black men… but i am realli picky in who i choose to spend my time around …

  • Raheem Muhammed

    is this bull’ish??? You should be open to date whomever you feel is
    right for you. I surely hope people don’t cosign the crap spewed in this
    article. It was obviously written by someone who doesn’t know a lot
    about white men…lol. I work with them everyday and believe me, their
    issues are much worse than the Black man. The article is degrading and
    insulting to both Black men and Black women. Here’s a quote from the
    article…”Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with
    virgins, and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White
    men. They have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.” Yep, that’s
    someone you should desire!…LMAO!

  • stevievi

    I don’ want to bash our men. But the truth is the truth. I’ve dated white men for many many years and when I was ready to settle down I wanted to do it with a black man. can find one if I was looking. Felonies, too many baby mommas, and alot of the educated black men I know are more interested in dating the rainbow then dating a black woman. I’m atypical I’m educated smart sassy, I don’t court drama and I’m straight up and not angry. I don’t have baby daddies and I want 3 things in a guy. Have a job, car and a place to live. Handle your business, if you have children it’s should be with no more than 1 or 2 woman at most and you should be paying your support and spending time with your children. You should not be complaining about baby momma drama like it’s your main job. You laid down with them and they bore you children you should be respectful of that and them and your children. If you don’t want children by low down woman you should A. not be sleeping with them and B using a condom. they do work. Also, you should have good intentions.

  • stevievi

    I don’ want to bash our men. But the truth is the truth. I’ve dated white men for many many years and when I was ready to settle down I wanted to do it with a black man. can find one if I was looking. Felonies, too many baby mommas, and alot of the educated black men I know are more interested in dating the rainbow then dating a black woman. I’m atypical I’m educated smart sassy, I don’t court drama and I’m straight up and not angry. I don’t have baby daddies and I want 3 things in a guy. Have a job, car and a place to live. Handle your business, if you have children it’s should be with no more than 1 or 2 woman at most and you should be paying your support and spending time with your children. You should not be complaining about baby momma drama like it’s your main job. You laid down with them and they bore you children you should be respectful of that and them and your children. If you don’t want children by low down woman you should A. not be sleeping with them and B using a condom. they do work. Also, you should have good intentions.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tony.nickell.31 Tony Nickell

    I have to disagree with most of your reasons. Why are you degrading Black Men?
    Don’t they have it hard enough time proving himself at it is. You are off base, Remember honey that ‘Opposites attract” “Love Is Love”.

  • PrincessBLARITY

    I love white men!Always have and always will!Ive got that hot burning lust for white men!Im like a chocolate african cat on the prowl to target and hunt down some hot fresh BIG WHITE meat thatll tear my A$$ up!Lol but anyways It shouldnt matter who you date,As long as hes good to you thats all that it should matter no matter what skin color or race he is :)

  • J

    Hello, I am a black man… a college-educated, flirtatious (that is who I AM), talented, sensible, black man. And you are a complete, bitter individual. I could call you what you really are but I actually HAVE some respect for women. I am marrying a white woman, not because Black women are too demanding, angry, too tough for us and intimidating. No! Because my girl is a handful, but she is smart, we have good chemistry together, and she is very caring. And I do flirt with others, but my love is dedicated to her. I work a full time job; take care of my own bills; and at the same time, take care of her, not because of masculinity issues, but because I love her and care about her. And I wish more black men can be like that, but we are not all like that. And some white men are like this too. Your generalizations are very stereotypical, and at times very anger-provoking. I am sorry if black men have hurt you in the past but maybe you need to figure out better reasons to date outside of your race. Sista.

  • Pingback: Here’s A Surprise! A Jaw-Dropping, Eye-Opening Shocker…Really! | Praetori

  • bigdawgman

    Is it just me, or did she throw major shade on her husband in the first paragraph?

  • randomtandem

    I agree. Be mad! IDGAF

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000459394131 Carol Cotrone

    Wow. Is Madame Noire really saying that only white men value education and family stability ? Wow. There is an agenda here.

  • Jaz

    This article is really racist. Every white man doesn’t fall into these ridiculous parameters just as every black man isn’t out there thuggin’. WTF Madame Noire? If this article was on Maxim titled “8 reasons to date an asian woman” and compared asian women with black women in the matter you’ve done here (asian women are smarter, more physically attractive, more likely to take care of their man) everyone would be having a fit.

    • stevievi

      it appears that she should say “GHETTO men” but to be honest. I don’t know many black man that are doing right by the woman they date. “they want to playa’s and pimps. lOL a hot mess. It’s 2013 you should be dating only one person if you are in a serious relationship. If you are not in a serious relationship you should tell the other person and stop running around telling her she’s the one and dating other woman on the side.

  • Sven

    This nonsense is an immense idiotic rant. This is daft!

    • Sven

      I call for the statistics on serial murder, pedophilia and rape! White men are on the top of those lists!!!!

  • Sivad

    To all of the women out there, especially black women don’t make generalizations. All men, black, white, latino, asian, etc. have flaws. No one is perfect. White men and men of other colors are not perfect. And some white men date black women they can be more judgemental of her and actions. Some, not all tend to scorn black women for the very things that white get idolized for just saying. Some white women can get away with doing things that black women can’t. So keep that in mind when your trying to prove how sexually adventurous or fun you are!!!!!!!
    Having said that, I would like to add that I am attracted to decent MEN. I don’t care about complexion, hair or eye color. Although I can agree with alot of your comments. Alot of black men need to get their act together. And to Margoz, I would also like to share with you that many black men who are dating white, asian, and latino women often cheat on their significant other with black women.

  • MosDef

    A funny thing to, you know that many black men look up to African-american men. At least here in Europe. U have inspired many other black men. Here in Sweden black men are wanted by whites and other races because of the influence African-americans have on people. Thank you hahahah

  • Anonymous88

    Please don’t ruin our race. Thanks.

  • Anonymous88

    Please don’t ruin our race. Thanks.

  • Anonymous88

    Please don’t ruin our race. Thanks.

  • Clay

    As a black man I will say this like many other thing is sometimes very true and other time very false. However, you cannot place everyone in a box. I’ve met white guys who aren’t worth a damn, and black guys that match all of the good traits in this list. Also the chick who wrote this is without a shadow of a doubt bitter, and has been scorned by black men. I did get a good laugh out of this article though.

  • Mimi

    This is nonsense. All men are the same. Regardless of race some men choose to be educated and some choose not to. I believe you should date a guy because you are genuinely attracted to him not because of his colour, the size of his bank account or what he can offer you in bed.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000459394131 Carol Cotrone

      Well, all men are definitely not the same … but they are not different in the ways described here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/vriggins Vincent Riggins

    I salute our comrades without them it would be impossible to dominate the world with melinated people. Keep up the good work and see if you find a few more victims.

  • Gibson Pierre Payton

    I’m a Black man and I am saddened by this article. It seems like in every race, there is some kind of campaign in this country to marry White men. I’m not hating on the fact you would like to date outside the race but I feel that at least Black women could try Black men in other parts of our diaspora. African Americans in general have a lot of to heal from from being in this country and I assume Europe as well. I’ve been in relationships with Black women that got me into fights because she threatened to “call her n**ga”. Even one girl quite her job just because I she felt “got paid enough”. Black men go through some of the same problems as Black women. I feel building with people creates stronger bonds and relationships. I feel a big part of it is having straight up conversations about our people’s history and why our men and women wyle out. I grew up with very little. When I got my first job I got Jordan’s. Black girls started flockin because I had money. A big part of our generational struggle is money and finance. Men want to show they have it and women want to be with those who can show they have it. Its subconscious. My parents never taught me stuff like this. That’s why I want to teach my kids this. It has to be intentional. And I don’t know where you got the whole black culture doesn’t appreciate education as much as white culture. A lot of black people (African Americans) don’t even know their culture. Have you stopped to think about the fact that there are Historically Black Universities in a historically racist country? Education must have been valued some where down the line. Unfortunately COINTELPRO ruined a lot of our strong communities. Our job is to pick up where our parents and grandparents dropped (rather the torch was knocked out their hands) the torch. There are a lot of good black men out there. You just have to find them and build with them.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000459394131 Carol Cotrone

      There are great black men out there, men who value family stability and education and this article unfortunately does not promote that idea.

  • http://xicanosblog.tumblr.com/ Mateo Montoya

    8 reasons your internalized discursive whiteness goes

    The gender binary male-female and sexual
    identity binary straight-gay is a European construct imposed upon colonized
    peoples whereas many pre-colonial culture’s (and yes even civilizations)
    embraced a multi-gender epistemology with little social stigma associated with
    same-sex partnerships or sexual encounters.
    So this openness you attribute to white men was wiped from the
    collective memories of cultures colonized by white European men.

    The “need to be taken care of” may be more
    explained by attributing the need of men of color to express a reliant
    disposition or self-efficacy as resultant of cultural assets rather than
    deficits: that is collectivism, reciprocity, communalism and maintain such
    positionalities as to resist the colonial projects assimilationist agenda to
    make us an individualistic society with post-structural ideological underpinnings
    which, among many things, disregard such things as structural or discursive
    white privilege.

    While there remain more men of color
    incarcerated than attending college in the U.S. this cannot be attributed to
    lower academic merit or low academic and career aspirations or a “culture of
    poverty” theory. Such things as white
    privilege (cultural & social capital) and racial/ethnic stratification
    through racial segregation and “race neutral” policies which empirical evidence
    shows impact communities of color more negatively than their white
    counterparts. Using SES as a proxy for
    race as to be “race neutral” or colorblind within academia has been shown by
    scholars (S. Saha et al) to be poor predictors of future professional career
    decisions. For example, when using SES
    alone you could not see any significant relationship between a medical students
    SES and plans and actual practice.
    However, when using race/ethnicity it was clear that racial/ethnic
    minority medical students went on to provide care to the indigent, uninsured
    and other racial/ethnic minorities at much higher rates regardless of SES. In fact, more racial/ethnic minority
    physicians from the highest SES provided care to the aforementioned high risk
    patients than white physicians from the lowest SES. Goes to show you that these attitudes, while
    vehemently denied, impact bed-side manner and quality of care.

    Divorce rates for whites are higher than those
    of racial/ethnic minorities and we don’t need a piece of paper to validate our
    passionate love affairs. Sounds more like a jaded assumption. By not mentioning the connotation it defines
    for the reader what is discursively assumed: that women of color are not worthy
    of being married to men of color.

    Of course men of color refrain from embracing
    ignorance but nor is urban “thug life” ignorant as seems to be suggested. Urban
    men of color are not thugs until someone labels them as such much like the
    state must define what it is to be insane before someone can be deemed such the
    “normative gaze” of whiteness deems the material lived exisistence of urban men
    of color to be thuggish and ruggish with white male norms such as yuppie
    gentrification of urban ghettos serving as the benchmark of normativity. To suggest that urban men of color strive to
    be deviant thugs due to the lack of alternative identities creates a binary
    that either urban men of color are intrinsically thugs or “sell-outs” if
    not. Such a reductionist analysis of
    urban male identities creates an unacknowledged conundrum that to be anything
    other than a heterosexsual thug is to adopt an “oppositional culture” rather
    than a resistant disposition towards predetermined social roles/.identities.

    It is a well known fact that white men leave way
    beyond their means through credit lines creating more disposable income to be
    invested while men of color have lower incomes and do not qualify for credit
    lines as easily as their white counterparts creating lower economic outlooks
    which translates into men of color investing in liquid assets such as material
    belongings versus stocks and bonds.

    If the subject of your article is women of color
    then you seem to suggest that women of color are hoe’s and again not worthy of
    matrimony with men of color who value virtue more than white men. This seems to be a slight against women of
    color rather than a short-coming of men of color.

    Again, low self-esteem or hyper-masculinity
    among men of color seems to be a dispirate outcome of the colonial
    project. White men are more confident
    than their black/brown counterparts due to the fact that they, by virtue of
    occupying the top of the social hierarcy, serve as the benchmark of
    normativity. Resistance to white
    hegemony and racial-battle-fatigue create a quasi
    post-traumatic-stress-dissorder among men of color seen as a chip on the shoulder
    or “ignorance” or “thuggish” or “other/less than”… do you see the paternalism
    and racialization you tacitly endorse and “glorify”?

  • http://www.facebook.com/neozero Elliott Miller

    Yeah so I’m a black man, have a masters in physics with a decent paying job (soon to be a physics adj. prof and researcher). No criminal record, and am financially sound. I treated all of my past girlfriend’s with respect. I make them breakfast, take them on nice dates, am a good listener, and am completely non-judgemental. And I know how to use birth control.

    This article is B.S.

  • Renee

    This is one of the most offensive articles I have read on the internet. The demonization of men of color is problematic and harkens back to the respectability seeking ways of the middle-class. Shame on you for writing such a socially maligned piece.

  • Elmo


  • Self-Respect-Knowledge of Self

    I think that the authors intentions were good, but somewhere along the way it was lost. Ignorance can be applied to any and every race and gender. This article just promotes more negative sterotypes about black men as well as black people. I have nothing against interracial dating and/or marriage (my family is racially very diverse/blended), but to apply some of these ideas just towards black men is totally irresponsible. As a black man with a College degree, a full time, and my own business on the side I find it sad that in 2013 we still, so called “good brothers” still have to pay for the mistakes of a few “bad brothers”. My girlfriend of almost ten years, in which I will be married to soon is a beautiful, educated, financially stable, strong, and loving black woman. We currently own a house together in which I put up 70% of the investment on the home because she is currently pregnant with our first child.
    Race has nothing to do with being a good man or woman for that matter. We have a friend who is a black sister that had one or two bad relationships with brothers and gave up on dating all black men “forever” as she puts it. She began dating men of different races which I have no problems with. For some of the same reasons mentioned in the article, she particularly pursued white men and about two years ago she began what she thought was a serious relationship with a white brother. The reason I say “she thought” it was serious because it was serious to her, but after being with this guy for a little over a year she found out that he had a fiancée (who is white) and was due to be married in 4 months. The only reason my friend found out that her new “better”white boyfriend was scheduled to be married was because my girlfriend who is a RN worked for the same hospital as his fiancee and recognized his face from a picture of them on her desk. When my friend confronted him about the picture, having a pregnant fiancee, and totally “breaking her heart” his response to her was “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wasn’t happy with my fiancee and you made me feel good. I didn’t know how to break things off with you without hurting your feelings.” He told her that “he was sorry and that he wish it didn’t go on as long as it did and asked her to just forget about the whole thing.” This dude was living a double life for a while and definitely didn’t treat my friend like a side chick when he was around us. He went to events, birthday parties, and trips with our friends like everything was all good. He worked for a consulting firm and always told my friend and probably his fiancee that he was working late or traveling on business when he would disappear for a few days here and there. He ran a game on my friend that left her second guessing her new way of thinking. She gave up on black men because she believe that all black men are dogs because her last black boyfriend cheated on her. Now she realizes that love and loyalty has nothing to do with race. And something thats not often mentioned when the topic of interracial dating and black men/ women is discussed ” theres a lot of sisters that say they want a smart educated black man but then when they get one they say he’s soft or not tough enough. You can’t say you want a good man and then criticize the brother or put him down because he’s not a “thug and speaks clear english”. You can’t have both.

  • Nappyhippiechick

    Number 8 is on hit, particularly if you’re familiar with the so-called ‘conscious’ community of black men.

  • Bryan

    ok..This is bias, a tad bit racist and unfair in some aspects. If you are going to promote this on your blog, than please have a black male blogger do one that states “the Benefits of a Black Man Dating White women” and watch and see how many bitter angry sisters will go off! Ill wait for it.

  • Dumbassarticles

    I’m a 16 year old black female….. Even I know that this article is stupid and the author is ignorant as are most of the people who commented. Let me help you out …All men are different! There are men of all races who treat their women like dirt and men of all races that treat that women like queens. But there’s always two sides to a story….. See while you complain that our black men sleep around and have kids and go to jail but you still open your legs for him and give him money when he needs it and you chase after him like a lost puppy….. As for this article this author watches alot of tv and doesn’t realize that t.v isn’t reality ….. As a young black women ashamed that this article was posted.

    • Self-Respect-Knowledge of Self

      I just wanted to say thank you little sister for having “a brain”. Don’t let the misinformation that you will find in mass media and society make you think that you come from a race of people whose men do not love and respect our women. THANK YOU THANK YOU. Humans are humans, so people do good things and some do bad. Its that simple. And your right some sisters may complain all day that brothers sleep around, but then won’t say nothing to their mother, sister, or best friend thats sleeping with or trying to steal another sisters black husband or boyfriend. Its not all the brothers fault all the time. Its not all of us but we as black men and women both need to reeducate ourselves to our history and break down all these negative untrue sterotypes that we allow other races to force feed us. Its refreshing to know that not all of the youth is blind to the facts. Stay strong, stay motivated, become wise, and love yourself first little sister.

  • JB

    This is a terrible article. Im a black man and i graduated college. I have two businesses, and I have a 9-5. I have never been in trouble. This strikes a few of your stupid list. I went to school in private school from pre-k – 12th as one of the only black kids in the school. I went to a small liberal arts college where I was one of 75 black students out of about 1200 students. Trust me when I tell you that YOUR PRECIOUS WHITE MAN IS JUST LIKE ANY OTHER MAN with flaws. This is the MAIN reason why I love it when a white man cheats on a black woman. I hate when the black women say “get your white man girl!” but torch the black man when he gets a black woman. Its bullcrap. I have dated mostly black women but the times I dated white women I got ugly looks from black women. These are the same BLACK WOMEN that DATE THE THUGS AND DRUG DEALERS bc they “want something exciting” but then leave a good looking hard working man like me shrugging his shoulders. Then after they get burned they want to come to me. Ya’ll need to check this stupid article.

  • Ron

    This is absolutely ridiculous… I think all this comes down to is poor judgement on the part of all the women complaining. If you fall in love with a white man by all means go all in. If you are only attracted to white men again do your thing. But to say that this is the word and should be followed is like I originally said absolutely ridiculous!

  • enoni pond

    who the hell writes this trash ,,,,,smh

  • Fuser44

    You gotta love these articles and comments. Reminds me of the people who go on FB and tell the world they’re about to get rid of their account. Just do it already. If you want to date white men, just do it. There are so many women who dangle this “threat” out there to get a response from some black men, then get upset when said black men respond. lf dating a white guy is gonna make you happy, go for it. No need to advertise, justify, or rationalize.

    There is a certain level of arrogance in painting an entire race of men (and women… l’ve seen the same from men who think all black women are gold digging, loud mouthed hoes) in one light (not necessarily the article… just read some of the comments). lt’s like if a fisherman couldn’t catch the exact fish he wanted, then threw his pole in the water and said “there are no good fish in the world.” Maybe you’re using the wrong bait. Maybe you’re going to the wrong places to fish. Or maybe you can’t reel in the type of fish you want and should go after something different.

  • MissRealuminatti

    How is this any different than how black men treat black women? lol Think about it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=701318451 Anjela Childs

    This is a PATHETIC article! Will comment later.. smh! Shame on you writer and MadameNoir

  • PhillipBwhit

    I’m a Black man and I would never date a black woman. i don’t find in the least attractive.But sadly for you so does most of the men in the world. you have forgotten your place as women and that is why you are alone. Why over 75% of you wont find a husband. And by all trends that number will only grow in the future. Black women are the most undesirable females on the planet. so good luck to every black women out there.

    • MissRealuminatti

      On behalf of all black women, let me just say “whew! Thank God, you don’t want us. Most black men that hate black women are short, ugly, and have a small d!ck.” – No one wants YOU!

  • Guest


  • marwan

    A couple of my white male buddies laugh at these self hating black women who have the audacity to think a white guy wants anyone for these superficial bullshit reasons and they always say “are these women crazy?” Well, my white male friend, at least this author and others like her are.

    • MissRealuminatti

      another angry black guy. Do you really want to know what my white girlfriends say about bm? It will crush your ego.

      • http://starswired.com/ ☮ Djed ☥ Freethinker

        You don’t have none but If you have one, the majority prefers black men hence they’re around you.

        • Onyx


      • http://starswired.com/ ☮ Djed ☥ Freethinker

        You don’t have none but If you have one, the majority prefers black men hence they’re around you.

  • bro4life

    I wonder what an article would look like titled…10 Reasons to date a White Woman. Of course many of the points made can be flipped and there they are…some of the challenges for Black men trying to be with Black women. But why compare…white men and white women do not share the same experience in this country as we do. If you want to date someone of a different race…just go do it! Stop putting men or women down in the process! Peace out!

  • Trying to be sensible.

    Instead of “8 reasons to love your black man” or “8 ways to heal the black community”, we get this reductionist bullshit. Shame. I know black men have a lot of work to do, but black women must acknowledge the complex and at times horrifying history the black family has in America. Its not something that can be easily overcome. And rubbish like this article only makes matters worse.

  • TheRealTruthFromKevin

    This is the dumbest article I’ve ever read. Including myself the black men in my family consist of lawyers, doctors and engineers. Definitely tired of hearing this kind of crap. The reason women don’t meet prince charming is because they look in clubs and bars bent on alcohol. Try a library, a gym or a museum. Your not going to meet unproductive people in unproductive places. Instead of setting goals and accomplishing them together I feel like women simply look for Mr.Ready-Made, hence the reason why some guys feel the need to spend money on worthless/depreciating materials like cars and bottle service to attract your attention. Then one of two things happens–she realizes the guy is a loser who bought a sick car but has 5 roomates or lives with his mother, or the money is real but she realizes that she is just one of many. This all stems from a ruined perception that reality tv and magazines reflect with shows like basketball wives and real housewives of Atlanta which exploits the American perception that success is instantaneous. This article is actually quite bothersome because its actually doing this right now. To some, they may see a black man and now have some false preconception of him because they read some stupid crap like this. Don’t be weak minded and adjust your thinking based on someone whose getting paid to write but has run out of ideas or went out on a few bad dates.

  • Genesis in the UK

    This is an American problem 100% we dont have this issue in the UK, or Europe or in Ghana, Nigeria, Jamaica, Trinidad etc. Black Americans are the problem they have to culture or tradition so they are always having issues both their black women and black men have mental issues.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jimmy.voltron.7 Jimmy Voltron

    “Date a white guy because they actually are heterosexual instead of dating a black guy who might very well be a complete homo.” ROFL.

  • sinsin sin

    Thank you Cole !
    Best response to a very sad a shallow article it sounds likie a black woman who is bitter with black males for dating and marrying outside his race. I can say this honestly as I married a White man and I can honestly say that this article is ridiculous there are good and bad people in all races if you are fortunate to find a good man/woman feel blessed and dont purposely out of your way to change your preference based on such a stupid article.

  • Alexis

    I was strongly considering exclusively dating white men especially since they seem to be so attracted to me AND they marry (at least the ones around me), but this article made me realize the black man I’m currently dating shouldn’t be written off. At least, not yet. While I do feel like I’m wasting my time because of 2 issues, this article just convinced me they aren’t big enough to walk away. I’ve dated the rainbow, but I always come back to black men. Must be all of the melanin in me. lol

  • somedudeName

    Is any of this really true? I forget how I stumbled upon this, but I’m a white male who doesn’t like white women (I’m physically attracted to skin tone). Reading this article makes me worry about not only black culture, but also how others perceive white culture. White culture is not so cut and dry, and I fear that this article simplifies it a bit too much. I also fear that it amplifies some negative stereotypes in the black community as well, but again, I’m not apart of that community so I wouldn’t know. Anyways, you brothas can have all the white chicks you want if it leaves me with some sistas.

  • BahamaGirl

    I absolutely DETEST the blatant stereotypes in this article. I know young black men in their 20s who own & run their very own (LEGAL) business, are college educated, own a house and are married even to women older than them. I cannot believe that you would make such generalized statements as if NO black man is financially stable, wants to marry, is secure or is even a good person for that matter. I almost want to quit reading your articles such a defaming articles about black men. and I am not a resident of America, all the men I described are from the caribbean, the Bahamas to be exact.

  • me

    watch your wording….due to the ABSENCE of fathers, marriage & families in the black community?? so there are absolutely NO healthy family structures in the black community??? please!


    Black women blame and make excuses for everything. they make me disgustingly SICK TO LOOK AT nowadays. any public place where they are around, i avoid, or i move away from. CANT STAND THEM!

    • MissRealuminatti

      Do you avoid your black a$$ mama too?

  • Chad

    Ok, this article is just trash. It’s nothing but a bunch of irrational stereotypes about black men by black women who can’t seem to grasp the concept that not all black men fit into these molds of ignorance. It shows a ridiculous amount of small-mindedness on the part of the black woman to think that if you simply change the preference of your race you’ll reap all these magical benefits. This really isn’t a color issue, it’s a PEOPLE issue. If you have had continuous negative experiences with black men, maybe you need to raise your standards and stop going after the ones who clearly have no goals, ambitions or life plans. If you change the rules, you can change who gets to play the game. Also, maybe you need to stop putting so much emphasis on color and realize that there are bad apples in EVERY race and that stereotyping and putting a spotlight all the “shortcomings” (heavy sarcasm) of black men and the “over-qualifications” of white men only makes you look like you have no education of socio-economic issues within your own community and you seem to be filled with a toxic amount of self-hate and media bullshit.

    -From the heart and mind of a 19-year old young black man.

  • Happy

    Hello LaShaun Williams!

    About “8 Reasons to Date a White Man”
    I thought that the article was interesting, because of it’s point I really missed.
    I don’t know the term “black man” If it´s an American term for a coloured man or African-American?
    If so I cannot really comment on this article. I am an African that grew up in Sweden, born in Africa. To me colour does not matter.
    I want a smart woman that does not need to take care of me nor I take care of her, but be to there as a companion, and that goes both ways.
    My ideal woman is based on my mother, she took care of us and now we take care of her. I don’t agree with you in several points I find parts of this article offensive and it puts a lot of black men in a box, the part when you said that black men don’t understand that rap music is a product, that we act upon it “thug life” etc.

    I think no matter black, white or any other colour, if a man’s stupid, then that man is simply stupid by nature.
    I know many black men that are successful; they have wives whom they share their lives with, so to them this article does not justify their reality.

    “White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money”

    What is this claim based on?

    If you said, “many black man are afraid of the authorities, than white men” Yes, I know a lot of people that would agree with you, and that we might jump on “you are a racist” boat more often. But to bend the words and make them sound, every black man is insecure and unable to live as an adult, to me is a very serious issue, but if you are talking out of experience, it should say it in the article.
    If the article is referring to black men in America? Then it should at least say so, to be fair to men regardless of background. In my opinion change of environment, see a man for what he is and not his complexion otherwise we will have phrenology again only this time based on skin ton.

    Happy black man
    PS: Any woman has the right to choose any man they want and that is no ones business than that person she chooses.

  • Happy

    Hello LaShaun Williams!

    About “8 Reasons to Date a White Man”
    I thought that the article was interesting, because of it’s point I really missed.
    I don’t know the term “black man” If it’s an American term for a coloured man or African-American?
    If so I cannot really comment on this article. I am an African that grew up in Sweden, born in Africa. To me colour does not matter.
    I want a smart woman that does not need to take care of me nor I take care of her, but be to there as a companion, and that goes both ways.

    My ideal woman is based on my mother, she took care of us and now we take care of her. I don’t agree with you in several points I find parts of this article offensive and it puts a lot of black men in a box, the part when you said that black men don’t understand that rap music is a product, that we act upon it “thug life” etc.

    I think no matter black, white or any other colour, if a man’s stupid, then that man is simply stupid by nature.

    I know many black men that are successful; they have wives whom they share their lives with, so to them this article does not justify their reality.

    “White men tend to be more educated in the area of finance with a greater understanding of retirement planning, savings, investments, etc. This is mostly due to a higher level of exposure and teaching, but all that matters is they know and make better decisions than Black men when it comes to managing money”

    What is this claim based on?

    If you said, “many black man are afraid of the authorities, than white men” Yes, I know a lot of people that would agree with you, and that we might jump on “you are a racist” boat more often. But to bend the words and make them sound, every black man is insecure and unable to live as an adult, to me is a very serious issue, but if you are talking out of experience, it should say it in the article.
    If the article is referring to black men in America? Then it should at least say so, to be fair to men regardless of background. In my opinion change of environment, see a man for what he is and not his complexion otherwise we will have phrenology again only this time based on skin ton.

    Happy black man

  • OmegaReds

    Scientists have determined that all “humans” outside of Africa have between 2-4% Neanderthal DNA.
    I want my offspring to go to heaven & as far as I know animals don’t go to heaven!!!!
    STAY BLACK STAY STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • cici

    the author states a lot of facts. some are opinions, but many are facts. facts about the black male psyche being damaged by many things that she gets into and some that she doesn’t touch on. it is a complicated issue. it is hard trying to be with a man of any race with those issues.. let alone add some extra issues on that come with being black in this country. maybe she should have been more clear… but just open up and research your men first. that is my advice. look at their mother and father. look at their past relationships. look at their relationship with god and you will be ok. race is not the biggest issue. just open up.

  • Bi-racial Baby

    This all just seemed a bit superficial, yea black men do have different challenges than the white but thats the case for every ethnicity. But there are plenty of men out there that fit these descriptions who aren’t black and plenty of black men who don’t fit these descriptions at all. Not to mention yea sure you go off and marry an intelligent, sophisticated, wealthy white guy over the not college educated, rough around the edges, not so wealthy black guy who’s to say you’ll be happier? The white guy could be a woman beater or a psycho or something and you would’ve been happier with the guy who was perfect on paper, but a beautiful person in reality. It’s dating its not supposed to be about race or some checklist of does he have money, is he damn near perfect. Its supposed to be about can i see a life with him, do we have common interest, do we make each other want to grow and become better people. Its supposed to be about love so forgive me but a lot of this just sounds ignorant and shallow and kinda like some of you have had misconceptions or been hurt by a black man and took it out on the whole. I was the same at one point but everyone is different every single individual being is their own person and shouldn’t be lumped into a group based on previous bad experiences or no experience at all…but hey thats just the opinion of someone of mixed ethnicity who has seen the good and the bad from men and women on both ends..

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

    I don’t care who sleeping with who. If you are not with them because you love them, you’re an idiot. If a non black dude came at me like that (because his women were acting whatever) I’d tell him to push on, until he finds a woman he likes for who she is and not because of who she is not! I have been blessed with a good man and a good father to our girls, for the last ten years, and I can’t complain….even though he forgot this morning was trash day!!! Sometimes we can make things so much more complicated than it needs to be. Good luck y’all! <3

  • CC

    Wow, I do NOT agree with this article!!! I feel the author has written this based on the STEREOTYPES OF BLACK MAN!!! A few of you mentioned that not all black men fit into this category and if you are a black woman and you are only meeting black men who carry on with the behaviors listed above then that is a flaw in YOU!!! I believe someone even mentioned being a white male and these suggestions are bad advice!!! I am a black woman and I have flaws but I did not blame everything on the black man, I simply looked inside of me to see what it was that I was doing wrong and it had nothing to do with the color of my skin or the race of the men I date either. Just another bad example of passing the blame and what I like to call “The Race Card Remix”!!!!

  • Samara Monet-Telfer

    I’m absolutely disgusted with this article. The ‘reasons’ stated above are so stereotypical, it’s unreal. Lord have mercy, the negative characteristics of SOME men are NOT dependent on the color of their skin. It’s disheartening that some people share this regurgitated view of BM.

  • Z

    “a Black man—dark-skinned, 100 percent cocoa. To me, there is nothing more physically beautiful on this earth.”
    Yeah, that’s why most males models are black, right? Wrong.I don’t think most women agree with you.

  • Crystal

    When you leave it to God-Higher Self find your man you will be presented with the right one. But be prepared to wait as you get ‘cleaned up’ and prepped to meet him – and him you. It may take some time – a long time – and you may get lonely but when the right one is finally present be prepared to be blown away. Just know that Black includes not just African-American but Caribbeans and Africans from the motherland.

  • Gimme a break

    I’m married to a white man (I’ve never seen color as a criteria for a relationship) but think this is the most ignorant list I’ve ever read. Both races have good and bad men. I have brothers, cousins, uncles and friends who are black and beautiful with all the traits attributed to white men and a couple white male in-laws with the same issues attributed to black men. Half the time black women can’t trust or respect good black men based on previous bad choices, childhood history of parental issues or the claim that he isn’t tough enough, yet when they get the one who treats them wrong they dig their heels in trying to change him and when that doesn’t work they cry foul. Some of you ladies with this attitude need a mirror

  • http://www.facebook.com/shem.ari.5 Shem Ari

    Not that I’m big into black men (I have a fondness for latinos and yes I realise they come with their own set of problems, men in general do) but, that comment about white men “at least trying to marry before making babies” is bs. I’m mixed, and I have a daughter with a white guy who is a serial babymaker (I’m not a complete idiot, my daughter was the first so I didn’t know). She’s 4 and he already has 2 others and another on the way. My father is white/white-ish, married once and has 5 illegitimate children with 5 black/mixed black women or more. And these are just regular, goofy white guys, and I say that in case you’re thinking their mentality was somehow influenced by any other culture. I know I’ve met other white guys who, maybe most of them don’t go around leaving a trail of sad, fatherless mixed babies like myself, but there are definitely a good amount who abandon their white children too. The percentage might be higher as far as the black male population, but white men can be just as heartless and scandalous, Myself, my daughter and five of my siblings, some friends etc. are all living proof.

    • MissRealuminatti

      The point that made sense is when you noted that MORE BLACK MEN than white men sprinkle babies everywhere. Bottom line!

  • iHeartMarijuana

    Very stupid.

    Why do people make it seem like you need an excuse or a reason to date someone who isn’t from the same ethnic background? That’s sick and weird. Your reason for dating someone should just be that you like them. Why do you need excuses and reasons? If you wanna date a White man, date him. What other reason do you need than that you like him?

    Way to generalize two entire races of men, as if they were all the same. First of all, what GAY men do has NOTHING to do with what we as women should be looking for in mates. Newsflash: Some White men are on the DL. Some White men are looking for a girlfriend who mothers them. Not all White men go to college, not all White men marry their baby-mama, lots of White men glamorize ignorance, lots of White men are financially unstable. White men are not all looking for hoes to turn into housewives, they are men like any other and can hold the past against you just as much as anyone else. Lots of White men take things as challenges to their masculinity.

    This is the dumbest thing I’ve read on this site. The woman who wrote this article must not know any White men and is just glamorizing them and buying into obivous racist lies. I lived in the Bible belt for several years and can state with certainty that the majority of PEOPLE in general, including White men – have at least one of these issues. At least. Why is it that the author seems to think that corporate / rich White men are the only ones who exist? That’s so stupid it’s ugly. Very narrow minded.

    And of course, all those things you said White men do – are also done by Black men. The author’s husband should be really angry with her for this racist brainwashed drivel. Looking up to White men like Gods. White men are cool, I like them too, but they are no better than anyone else. Different, yes. But not in the ways listed in the article. If a woman is really into something like Tom Petty music or rock climbing, statistically speaking, she might have a better go with White men – but that isn’t the same thing as seeking out a White man because you think all White men are rich and Black men are poor. That’s beyond stupid.

    If you REALLY need a legit list to date White men, here are some valid reasons:

    1. You simply find his features and his looks as a White man to be very attractive (ex. – you’re attracted to thin noses and pale skin and you can’t help it).
    2. You have more in common with him. Maybe you’re both into surfing, John Grisham novels, or glass blowing.
    3. You think he’s nice and friendly.
    4. You’re not paying attention to skin color at all.
    5. Most important – he’s a human being and you’re free to date who you want.

  • Drew Smith

    I sincerely hope that’s not you bending over in that picture. Get your house in order, ma’am. THEN, weigh in.

    • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

      I wanted to say it but her comment sort of put it all out there. Sometimes even a crystal ball is not needed to read people.

  • that guy

    im just kind of throwing out a prolly a questionable opinion. but to me it seems more and more white women are no longer looking for overall stability and hapiness and self progression and their ego is getting enormous and their wanting more thug dont give a f*** dont care about an honest living and got a bigger D*** while black women are now wanting self progression stability honest working in their life. in im not specifying a race to what white and black women are wanting cause every race has those qualities some just seem to have it more prominate then others but im not gonna say which is which cause i havent met every person in every race so i cant form a realistic truthfull statistic. the men in each race choose a path some tend to follow a trend while others tend to try and make a trend so both sides men and women play a part its a change in interest not in race but life style. and i appologize for grammar errors or spelling in advance its not due to lack of education. because i am educated.
    by the way i am a white male married to a mexican girl whos culture believes in the wife being taken care of by the male and doing everything they can for their husband to keep them happy not to work but stay home and care for house kids and husband (which is alot of work lol) but can still be independant mentaly and in other ways which is what i love about her shes got a 4yr degree in law in justice in what not i dont have a degree but i support her going to school mentaly and financially i try my hardest not to hold her back from anything and she trys her hardest to take care of me at home and as my partner

    • MissRealuminatti

      Why are you here?

  • Guest

    are you serious

  • Wow….

    My whole life I have worked harder than most black men and women I have known and these articles are incredibly insulting. I come from a family of well educated Black men and women, in our family it is a must for the men in our family to marry the women who gives birth to his child. Mandoire’s articles make me furious but it opened my eyes to the how black women feel about black men. I can’t wait till the day when I graduate with my master’s because I will not only prove statistics wrong but also prejudice black Americans.

  • Pingback: Fellas: 8 Reasons to Date a White Woman « MrYoungScholar

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  • indyha ramsey cobbs

    I personally have always preferred men who are handsome, smart and white. I like men with nice brown eye and thick dark or blond hair. I have a thing for that guy Adam from Maroon 5. I don’t think my fiance would mind me liking him at all!

  • Jack

    White guy here. I absolutely adore beautiful black women. Our women are some of the most entitled girl’s on earth, with laundry lists for men to fufill without putting any effort outside of appearance into being desirable. Black ladies, once you get past the initial suspiscion of being a “white guy”, have been some of the most loyal and great friends, appreciate you for putting in a good effort and being around to help them while dating.

  • Jennifer

    Black men feel that they deserve to settle down with virgins, lol this is true especially with their expectation of black women rather than white women. Many have a double standard that they can sleep with different women but their wifey should be practically virginal.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/EZMWIVOYKDAYJDRTR33LQZV2HQ Zaaina

    I feel like there are good and bad men in every race no matter the ethnicity. However I do not feel like I should limit myself to only dating people who have the same shade of skin as I. I feel like I should not be limited by skin color because it will only keep me boxed in and I would miss out on men who could potentially love and care for me

  • Mimi

    I read #1 and stopped. There is a whole plethora of “Lifetime” movies dedicated to white men living the “down low” lifestyle. They’ve been married over 30 years, and then finally break it to their wives that their gay. Oh no. The “down low” lifestyle is not exclusive to black me.

  • coxs525

    I am certainly glad that I ran across this article and I am sure that I will recieve some flack for my feelings on this topic but…errr it goes. I am an African American female who was married to the same black man for 22 years. When we met he had 3 children from a previous marraige.
    I accepted him and his children and was happy to offer a hefty part of my life assisting with the rearing of the three girls. That meant that my weekends were spent taking care of them. When the youngest became an adult, the child support stopped and the mother wanted him back and he was happy to reciprocate, and left me.
    Of course I was hurt and angered bu this but, hey if thats what you want, go for it, was my attitude. Needless to say, the relationship was over within 2 months. He then realized that she wanted him only because she was going to miss the hefty 3 grand a month.
    Since my divorce I have been looking at the white brothers, and I must say that I am impressed. I notice that white men will take care of their wives no matter what. They take care of home before anything. They will support their woman if she decides that she wants to further her career. But try telling that to a black brother. He will be more likely to leave because he doesnt want to be the only one paying bills. I think thats a selfish reason. White men seem a little more passionate to me. They seem to truly love when they say they love you. Usually black men will pretend to love to get the one thing thats most important to them, bedding a woman an moving on to the next. So, I think that I want to explore the mixed couple thing. wish me luck!

    • http://www.facebook.com/leonard.guy.5 Leonard Guy

      Sorry to here about you previous relationship and how it went, but I feel so offended when people make generalised statement about black men, i know of many caring black men, i’m one myself being married for 26 years to a black women and in so way I’m the one who shows a lot affection i look out for my wife and i care how she feels and i do my best to make her happy. White men can be pigs too, you just happen to meet some nice guys and remember its a number came, black in America only make up 12 percent so you more choice in white guys. I just feel sad for African Ameican you guys are on the way out, if thing dont change. What your ex husband did is just the same in all race open your eyes and read marriage is dying white women are leaving there white men is droves in american and here in England, almost all my white firend who was married to white men are divorced, my wife works with maily whie women and almost all of them is divorved if white men are so great why didnt work. The white man treat black women good becuase you different y, he feel good cos he has a black women, that happen in a lot of interacaial relations , black men will take black women for granted and vis versa well some do anyway. Well hope you relationship works, just save a little respect for all the good black men out there. What you guy did to you i would never dream of doing.

  • keepin it real

    I’m a white guy and LOVE beautiful black women….but this is unfair. I know personally a lot of good black men who could come up with a generalized list of faults attributed to black women.

    • sinsin sin

      Well said !

    • Doublefuckthissite

      Exactly. And my best friend is a black woman married to a white guy. One of the best dudes I ever met. But it is offensive to be judged by your own race. Cuz even if u marry white u still will have to raise black sons and live with the way u spoke about them

  • Keepin it real

    I love this article that must have been written by a white man trying to convince black women white guys are much better and as a white man married to a beautiful black women i appreciate this even if its more fiction than fact. Too many generalizations and unfair to a lot of really good black brothers i know. This article is definitely misleading and will give black women unrealistic expectations of us white guys–who, are after all, are guys.

  • N.D. Smith

    Girl you were brutally honest with this. Its so sad but so true. I am a Black woman who is unhappily married to a Black man…and believe you me I had to drag him kicking and screaming to the altar. I should of seen that as the first sign to wait a little longer on God. I know all Black men aren’t bad. I have two sons and a family tree heavy with masculine energy. I know great guys. Take my youngest for instance…smart, creative, compassionate, charming and an all around great guy…sorry but he prefers white women. My oldest son is a great guy outside of relationships. He has a live in girlfriend and because he is so cute he has just about every other woman he comes into contact with…and he wouldn’t dare date outside his race.
    Perhaps it is not the men. Maybe they just see us as scum and therefore see no problem with treating us as such.
    I am educated my husband is not. I tried to look past it…you know..giving myself kudos for saving a black man but instead I am dieing over here. I have never dated outside my race but I’ve never had a great relationship either. I don’t know if its them or me but I do know when this marriage is over I will be expanding my horizons. I’ve always had a thing for red heads.

  • Strong Black Brotha

    This is a sad moment in black history….. This black woman that wrote & sang this song is the TRUE meaning of a STRONG BLACK WOMAN
    Angie Stone – Brotha

    He is my King, he is my one Yes, he’s my father, yes he’s my son I can talk to him, ‘cuz he understands Everything I go through and everything I am

    He is my support system, I can’t live without him The best thing since sliced bread Is his kiss, his hugs, his lips, his touch And I just want the whole world to know, about my

    Black brotha, I love ya and I’ll never try to hurt ya I want ya to know that, I’m here for you forever true Cuz you’re my black brotha, strong brotha, there is no one above ya I want ya to know that, I’m here for you forever true, you’re my

    He’s misunderstood, some say that he’s up to no good Around the neighborhood But for your information, a lot of my brothers got education Now check it You got ya wall street brotha, a blue collar brotha You’re down for whatever chillin’ on the corner brotha A talented brotha, and to everyone of ya’ll behind bars You know that Angie loves ya and my

    Black brotha, I love ya, I’ll never try to hurt ya I want ya to know that, I’m here for you, forever true Cuz you’re my black brotha, strong brotha, there is no one above ya I want ya to know that, I’m here for you, forever true, you’re my

    You mean so much to me, you give me what I need I’m so proud of you
    I love you for stayin’ strong, you got it goin’ on I’m so proud of you
    Going through thick and thin, brothas you gonna win I’m so proud of you
    Whenever you’re facin’ doubt, brothas gon’ work it out
    (I’ve got unshakeable faith cuz)

    Cuz you’re my black brotha, I love ya, I’ll never try to hurt ya
    I want ya to know that, I’m here for you, forever true

    Cuz you’re my black brotha, strong brotha, there is no one above ya
    I want ya to know that, I’m here for you, forever true,
    you’re my Black brotha, I love ya, I’ll never try to hurt ya
    I want ya to know that, I’m here for you, forever true, ‘cuz you’re my

    Everyone of ya’ll, you know that Angie loves ya
    For everyone of ya’ll, you know that Angie loves ya

    • N.D. Smith

      Oh man I used to love that song. Still do because I have sons. But at the end of the day…where are the broth as who sing such positive songs about us?

    • Keke

      Where is the black man’s song for the black woman…right!

      • badphairy

        Rap…doesn’t do that. Ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jackie-Debs/1330149028 Jackie Debs

    It never ceases to amaze me how thin skinned the collective black community can be. Every time anyone, of any color, dares to level criticism at anything in the black community, no matter how valid, it is immediately decried as racist, or ignorant, or (insert knee jerk reactionary buzzword here). I see it time and time again.

    Cosby, who has spent his entire life helping the black community, was immediately disowned by many black people for having the nerve to tell them about themselves with the NAACP speech. Why can you not take constructive criticism?

    The black community seems to have no problem dishing it out. How many articles and editorials are there that derides the white community for all their wrongs, quirks and idiosyncrasies, often written BY black people. Why is it okay to point out the white communities shortcomings but if anyone, including one of your own, dares to do the same, it is unthinkable?

    Learning to accept and learn from constructive criticism is how we grow and move forward. Try and think about this next time your reaction is to go off on someone who is only speaking their mind honestly.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000709864513 Michelle Kirkwood

      Jackie Debs

      Black people have had enough damn criticism leveled against us in the form of racism –about our hair.our lips, our very physical beings–hell, for just f***ing existing in the first damn place—-since we’ve been in this damn country,and white people were able to get away with not just criticizing, but treating us like less than some damn animals, and always telling us we were f***** up simply because we weren’t WHITE. White people have dishing s*** out on pracitcally EVERYBODY that isn’t white for centuries. Now the tables have finally turned and y’all can handle it. Well,too damn bad—you act as if white people didn’t have a hand in creating/contributing to a great many deal of the problems black folks and other non-white people have today.

      Also, Bill Cosby does NOT speak for all 38 million black people in this country—get that straight—he wasn’t saying anything we haven’t already discussed among ourselves for years in our own communities, and that we haven’t been working on. And if we appear to be thin-skinned, it’s because we’ve had to take so much s*** from people who didn’t give a straight-up f*** about us—namely white people—they weren’t giving us “constructive criticism”, they duped all kinds of negative stereotypes on us to the point that places that have NO black people residing in them whatsoever have all these ignorant racist stereotypes about us,regurgitated by the media. So THAT’S why we have issues when white people criticize us, because they have no f***ing room to!

    • guest5


    • badphairy

      Excellent points.

  • http://www.facebook.com/robby.artist Robby Artist

    No matter what the Black man does for the
    Black woman and family, the rest are always finding faults, comparing
    everything about life, he is never doing enough to satisfy anything. She
    over expects. So life for the Black man is hardships all
    around, he has to get double education, skills, jobs, wages, or he is still no
    body in the simulation of the world around him. No wonder that the Black peoples finds life
    the hardest to survive simply because the Black woman does not care to
    encourage, nor uplift the Black man.
    That is the Paradox, the Pathology of the Black Peoples. So
    how can the Black Man provide for and protect the Black woman and their

    • MissRealuminatti

      black need to uplift their damn selves just like black women do everyday

  • Nicole

    Although I was looking for statistical facts in this article…there were none presented. It seems as if you have a narrow view of the difference between black and white men. What about Asian men, what about native American what’s bout Hispanic men??? While I applaud your efforts in helping BW look outside of their race for more options please come with cold hard proven facts about this. Not only is your point of view narrow based of the interaction YOU have had with BM compared the interactions you have had with WM it still go off of your PERCEPTION not reality. Your PERCEPTION is real only YOU. In an attempt to help BW broaden their horizons remember ALL men have things they deal with that may be negative. Do not enocourage women to ONLY date white but outside of their race period. There is a plethora of beautiful men out here not just WM. the name of this article should be called “IN my personal opinion why I THINK BLack women should date outside of there race” vs. this article that isn’t even factual at all.

  • enock

    i a ugandan guy en any white who want a relation ship can hook me up @ jhpeso2@gmail.com or +256774953947

  • Thatgirl

    Hmm something to think about, never dated a white guy before.

  • Tamsss

    Seems as if you’re putting down black men, rather than uplifting them.

  • robroka

    I just have to comment. I’m a white guy. Plain old white. I was born in the late 1970’s in New Jersey. Other than my father, the adult I most admired growing up was a black man. I didn’t even consider the race issue at all when growing up. He just happened to have darker skin than me. My parents demanded I show him respect and address him as sir or Mr. We became great friends…. still to this day. He was awesome to me and our families got along great. He taught me a lot about women and life. At the time it never crossed my mind that he should somehow be different than me or my Dad. He was just a great guy! Can we all please get past this crap. White guys and black guys are the same. Some are whipped into shape by strong male figures in their lives and some miss the boat. Period! My Mom is and was a great woman. There’s a ton she could never teach me. It has nothing to do with skin color. It has everything to do with personal responsibility. Some people man up. Others slink away when the going gets tough. I think it’s a courage issue. If there’s nobody looking over your shoulder and holding you accountable you’ll do whatever feels good and is easiest at the time. It takes a real man to embrace the life he’s made for himself. I’m really proud of the life I’ve made for myself. It hasn’t been easy. But here we are and I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I hope more black men embrace the challenge!

  • AnnaLovesALot7

    Also, I want to make it clear that I don’t co-sign anything the author says. To me, this article is definitely latent with racist undertones…

    but wanted to add my two cents as a black woman dating a white man.

    You’ll find great men in all racial groups. It’s not about color. It’s what’s inside (duh :)).

  • AnnaLovesALot7

    I’m a black woman in my mid 20s. I date a white man.

    from my perspective, it seems like there are not actually really a lot of differences between black and white men except the way they view themselves because of the way they’ve been treated because of their appearance.

    one thing i do love about dating a white man is that i can tell that to him, i’m the most exotic beautiful curvy thing walking the planet. haha. really, i feel like i’m so granola and to my ex who was black, i was. i looked, to him, like any of the other black women in his family but for my white bf, i’m new, i’m different and it’s the same with him for me.

    i’m not used to dating a white guy and it’s been good for our relationship that we’re so different then what we’re used to because it’s added mystery and a special type of appreciation.

    we’ve been together for about 2 years now and if i were back in the dating game, i wouldn’t rule out black men because like i said, black men and white men are a lot alike. it’s not about color. that’s what dating a white man has taught me. all people, in all colors, are beautiful in their own way.

    yay for interracial love :))

  • Jason

    I’m a white man, and I came across this by accident. (clicked the wrong link) I’m glad I did because I enjoyed reading every comment here. I never dated black women because I always felt unsure, intimidated, or that I couldn’t connect. I have always been attracted to women of other races, but could never get past myself.

  • MVH



  • HighlyExplosive

    Black Men must really be messing up for someone to write an article like this…*Goes to watch worldstarhiphop.com*

    Ok, you win. Where can I find me a white guy…

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  • JosePizarro417

    Im never gonna date a black girl after reading this…

    • Keke

      You won’t be missed.

  • robertmarley

    she sees the white man as the master race.

    • AnnaLovesALot7

      yeah, she’s brainwashed/sick. i hope she gets better….

    • frank

      but…we are

  • Straza21

    Internalized racism isn’t doing you any favors.

  • Truthmom

    Unhappy white women aren’t a good indicator of white men sucking at all.. if that’s the case black men must be really failing miserably because black women aren’t happy at all LOL.

    You guys are just pissed this author (and many others of us) have gotten wise to whats up.  Didn’t you hear what they said on BBWives? #whitesright

  • Markvanslam

    As a white man I was interested in this because I love black women, or any race really. I think at times the author maybe oversells white men in general. I know of a lot of ignorant, insecure, uneducated white men of course (just turn on the radio if you dont believe me:) I dont doubt the authors experience, and I love reading about black women liking people like me…my fear is just that this piece will stroke the egos of white men, or even make racist whites feel vindicated.

    • AnnaLovesALot7

      Yeah, I really can’t believe some people buy into this racist crap. It’s really sad. Thank you for posting this response. I felt exactly the same upon reading it…

    • Canaan1

      I agree. Considering American history, These relationships are very interesting and are packed with all sorts of heavy baggage that this relational combinations rarely discuss and man even be able to discuss. The biggest issue is what to do about the attitude of the racist white male. We’ve never had a good conversation about “Monsters Ball.”

    • Canaan1

      I agree. Considering American history, These relationships are very interesting and are packed with all sorts of heavy baggage that this relational combination rarely discusses and may not even be able to discuss. The biggest issue is what to do about the attitude of the racist white male. We’ve never had a good conversation about “Monsters Ball.”

    • sinsin sin

      again very well said as a black woman that was precisely what went thr ough my mind. I would go so far as to say i found it a little disturbing. I have always dated whom i felt like but i did not care for the tone of this article at all.

    • http://twitter.com/HerDiamondback Nefer Iman

      Thank you for posting this. People should take caution in whoever they date. Sure there may be benefits to dating White men as the author mentioned, but you will also have a new set of problems -like what to do if his friends jokingly ask if you are wearing a weave. The perspective on this piece is flawed.

  • guest

    “i’m not anti-white, i’m pro-black.” politically correct.
    “i’m not anti-black, i’m pro-white.” racist.

    • badphairy

      guest = whiner.

  • Mixed Chick

    Can I just say: wow. Really? Ok I grew up in a very mixed household. And dated all colors. Even though I married a white man, I am still appalled by the stereotypical nature of this article. I actually laughed out loud. I think black men tend a little thicker skinned and cocky cuz that’s how mama raises a proud black man in our society. And white men I find tend to be curious about dating black women but are sometimes too shy to holla. It’s all about what you like though. No type is better in the general sense man. It’s all strokes for different folks. The writer must have been giggling writing this, cuz it’s pretty silly.

  • Mixed Chick

    Can I just say: wow. Really? Ok I grew up in a very mixed household. And dated all colors. Even though I married a white man, I am still appalled by the stereotypical nature of this article. I actually laughed out loud. I think black men tend a little thicker skinned and cocky cuz that’s how mama raises a proud black man in our society. And white men I find tend to be curious about dating black women but are sometimes too shy to holla. It’s all about what you like though. No type is better in the general sense man. It’s all strokes for different folks. The writer must have been giggling writing this, cuz it’s pretty silly.

  • cha-city man

    I tend to date mostly white and Asian women, but it still bothers me to see black women dating non-black guys. I don’t think this is unfair either, you have to look at the science of the situation. Men can have a lot of babies with a lot of different women, but women can only have one child at a time, and only a couple throughout her lifetime. Because of this, it is more important for black women to be faithful to black men then it is for black men to be faithful to black women. We have to keep our numbers up. I can have sex with white and Asian women, but I still go and have a baby with a black woman, so it does not negatively effect our people. But if a black woman gets pregnant by a white boy, then she is done, she can no longer give birth to proud strong beautiful black babies. Sorry if this sounds sexist, but that is the truth of the situation.

    • Mixed Chick

      You GOT to be joking. I’m going to assume your post is to rile up the crowd. You cannot actually believe this

      • Regina Usana

         WHAT crowd, this article is 2 years old, dumbass.

        • Spacebunny_81

          So you agree with him? Just say that instead of being ignorant.

    • HighlyExplosive

      Thank you for showing exactly why black women need to start dating outside of their race. Lord help us if we make anymore asshats like you…

      • MissRealuminatti

        He make me not want to ever give birth to another black male. lol

    • AnnaLovesALot7

      As a black women, this is very offense. First of all: Yes, i could go have a white baby and then turn around and make beautiful black ones. Secondly, who’s business is it either way whether or not I do? There are approximately 7 billion men and women on earth and we’re in no specific need to reproduce at this time.

      Furthermore, why should Black women be “faithful” to black men when most Black men have not been faithful to us? The mutual disrespect has exhausted itself so both black men and women (and white and asian men and women for that matter), have branched out, realizing it’s not about color, finally).

      Moreover, it’s going to continue to happen (evolution). In the Us, we are going to soon be mostly mixed and “full” blacks, whites and asians will be the “rare” ones except in their ancestors countries.

      Wake up and smell the reality (mmm mmm :d) <3

    • iHeartMarijuana

      This is ugly and offensive to White, Asian and Black women. Just because men can have babies with a bunch of women doesn’t mean it’s not disgusting and it doesn’t make it acceptable. Women cannot be “faithful” to more than one person – you are not “faithful” to an entire race of men. Having mixed children does not negatively affect “your” people. Black women do not die when impregnated by White men. What you’re saying doesn’t sound sexist, it sounds gross and diseased.

    • MissRealuminatti

      Stop drinking the entitlement kool-aid on Mars and come back down to planet Earth. lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002442264776 J Pedro Veiga

    “Promiscuous Black men think they deserve to settle down with virgins,
    and allow past relationships to haunt the present. Not White men. They
    have no problem turning a hoe into a housewife.”




    • P Done

      THIS IS SUCH A BLATANT LIE. I AM A WHITE MAN AND I WOULD NEVER EVER BUT EVER EVER GIVE ANY ATTENTION TO A WOMAN WITH A SLU**Y “PAST”. Article aside…I guess women make the mistake of doing this for men with that kind of past. Is it harder for guys to make that distinction between past and current?

      • badphairy

        It’s just the same old double standard. Guys ‘need’ to sleep around or it’ll fall off, but women need to be virgins on their wedding night.

        I never could figure out, in this setup, who the guys were supposed to be having sex with. Each other?

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BVBJJ2LIHXHKHMDRRLMJ6SEXWQ teresa

    i am agree totally and more, the only apology, not have done it before, i am a very happy woman ,he appreciate my level of intelligence and my independent mind.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/BVBJJ2LIHXHKHMDRRLMJ6SEXWQ teresa


  • MichelleAndAll

    Once I started dating white men, I never went back to black men again. Life is to short not to experiment. You never know what your missing.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/mercedes.daniels Mercedes Daniels

    the person who wrote this mess, is a f*** off and still haven’t made me change my mind about the most beautiful creatures next to black women the black man…bitter!

  • Chuckfertea

    If your options to Black women were to date men of all colors I may could find a hint of legitimacy, But saying the white man is the only option to the so called bad black man , smells of somewhat of a stench.There is a rat in that one somewhere. No race is superior. And if black men came to this country as immigrants and not as slaves, and there were not Jim Crow or institutionalized racism, and found the same I would have some agreement.As for the most intelligent thing . Who invented the cell phone, open heart surgery,blood plasma,gas mass,automatic transmission,refrigerator.  I could go on all night. If  you ever need heart surgery and i sincerely hope not. Build a shrine to white males and black females for that.
    I am married to a Black man you say.Poor you ! How cheap, for opportunist to use an oppressed group of people, to benefit from it. They usually end up like Herman Cain. A shameful waste.

  • Jmiller4446

    This is becase they know what a man wants. A lady in public and a hoe in the bedroom!

  • http://twitter.com/soon2bking cris jonson

    lol she sounds bitter

    • Chuckfertea

      That’s a white man Cris, many white men come to these site pretending to be black woman. (but every black man I have dated and also married) no woman wants to reveal she has had that many relations or have that poor  judgement.

  • Jenny

    I love it! The araticle is so true.  I am an african american who is also mixed with mexican and creol, I’m light skinned with long hair and am very attractive, yet I would only date black men because that’s what I love.  I’m now beginning to see that they are not only intimidated by my sucess but tend to be abusive.  I am passive and I believe in the man being the head, but every black man I have dated and also married, eventually I end up leaving them because they try to tear down my self worth, both pysically and mentally.

    • Chuckfertea

      Another pathetic white man , pretending to be a black woman. No black woman talks like that. How gay you are

      • P Done

        Talks like what?

      • P Done

        Talks like what?

  • Bjackson25

    As a straight 31 year old black male with no kids and one class away from my 8th college degree, I can tell you this article is based on subjective feelings and not on pure fact. While I am a strong advocate of personal responsibility, one must understand history to understand the current social and cultural perception/reality of black men in America. Historically,mainstream America has gone to great lengths to limit socioeconomic opportunity for all people of color(Native Americans,Asians and Latinos).While the aforementioned cultural groups have experienced varying levels of socioeconomic difficulty over time, none of these groups has experienced the consistent negative portrayal that the African American community(black men in particular) has faced.As of today,more black men hold college degrees than at any other point in the history of the United States and there are more black men enrolled in colleges and universities than there are black men in prison. However these are not news stories that the mainstream media will cover anytime soon.Instead, they would rather show the images of black men that America has been socially conditioned to expect for quite some time now. They would rather cover the difficulties of Chris Brown and Rihanna’s relationship or the fact that Allen Iverson is broke instead of images that counteract the years of biased reporting that has had the unfortunate effect of making some members of the black community feel less than. As I said before,I do believe that social behavior determines social existence and black men can do a lot to advance their own socioeconomic mobility.However to paint all black men with a brush of financial and cultural incompetence while simultaneously supporting the notion that white men are the answer to black women’s dating challenges without any acknowledgement of the historical factors that contributed to that reality is irresponsible.

    • Keepin it real

      Man I can see why you have 8 college degrees. Well said!

    • Bob C

      Why would you get 8 college degrees? I have a bachelors and masters, but I wouldn’t want to continue “collecting” degrees….my grad program was $700/ credit… that could get to be an overwhelming debt…..Have you worked at any paying jobs yet?

      • MissRealuminatti

        Exactly! He sounds like a professional student. He’s just proving the article to be true. lol

      • badphairy

        As long as he keeps going to school until he dies, he’ll never have to pay it back. I finish my master’s next year and am looking at med school.

    • Skyrider

      Well said!

    • Americanblackbrit

      All this has been said before. Does this really excuse black men’s behavior toward black women?

    • Tam

      As a black woman that is married to a white man; I completely agree with you. Reading this article was ummm— how you say it… Full of S*&%T. I know some great, amazing black men however, by the time I got to know them they were already married with kids at work to white women. A part of me was mad but a part of me loved their love. Black men are strong and brilliant. There are a few odd ones but mostly great men. I wish smart black men like yourself would marry a amazing smart black women. And have amazing, beautiful smart black children that will grow up and be a new generation for the new African American in america.

    • Miss_Isis1

      Say it Brother!

  • Al

    what the f**k does it matter, really. If what you look for in a mate doesnt go as far as the obvious, then you need to seriously reevaluate yourself. culture of men has their bad apples just like every culture of women does, it depends on what is good and bad in those cultures, but at some point you become your own person and you make up your own mind. you become an adult. you connect with who you connect with. whats so wrong with that? white black yellow green… who cares? does he make you laugh? does he make you smile? does he teach you? does he learn from you? can he love you? is he willing to be apart of your life? those are the things that are important. skin color doesnt mean s**t. and the author has some valid points… the upbringing of every man is different… and thats where it starts, so if he wasnt raised to know how to treat women… don’t expect him to know how to treat you…


    Black men are trully most hated,fear and imitated. Everyone wants to be like us when its time to party and have fun but any other time they looking down on us. Most people just judge they dont understand how it changes you not even our own women.
    As a black man i would like to say blackmen more than any other type of guy seem to hate hoes much more. I mean i will accept a chicks flaws but if she has a promiscuous past its hard to look past that. Alot of black women need to stop being baby mamas and shaking their asses in clubs/videos and sleeping with every wannabe rapper when their younger and expect respectable men to want them in the future. We dont put up with that, but im not saying im want a virgin but i shouldnt hear about you sex life before youve even walked in the room by a bunch of different men. NO MAN likes that!! And marrying nowadays isnt even sacred anymore just a profit scheme 2/3 divorce. If you where bungie jumping and they said 2/3 people dont make it would you do it? Btw i have no kids or baby mamas im finishing my degree and dont plan to have kids till im atleast 35years old if ever.

    • julian

      Amen! I would like a virgin though as I’m one myself at age 27. It’s one thing to be compared based on treatment but having my john compared to an ex-lover is not my cup of tea. It grosses me out to think she’s comparing sizes, and that others have sprayed themselves all over her. Ewww. I don’t know how people can overlook that stuff. Not saying I can’t but still Eww

      • KeKe

        You’ve got some major issues darling!

      • P Done

        “and that others have sprayed themselves all over her”. OMG, Stop watching so many NC-17 er uh “movies”.

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  • http://zokka.myopenid.com/ zokka

    How about 8 reasons to date a black man.

  • Cinamnlady

    Ma’am, the Black community can move past “the past.”  And let’s be real, ALL men still want to marry virgins, no matter their race or how promiscuous they’ve been!  To quote you: Ever wonder why White people can date the friends of exes and so on? Honestly, there are some habits of white people that I DO NOT WANT TO IMITATE!

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1093333916 Mah Ricky Mahh

     I find for myself not to date a white woman, for me it is a negative taboo to love a person of a different race, like a white woman, asian hispanic etc. I grew up in a black community, and it was the worse place ever to live, no whites where there to be found, so I know that the pre-existing attitudes in black communities are self developed since I was a child, ((and no excuses about the past, we live in the future now)) this emotion from blacks is of both sexes, it’s not a one sided thought,.. as, I remember, I was either to white for the black women, and also accused of being white washed by blacks because I had my own liberated open mind set, and I refused to fall victim to the so called urban black lifestyles(( gangsta rap,hip hop,weird hair-styles,etc)), as I developed myself into a man ((lack there of a father or mother)), and having dreams of being rich and educated, I heard mostly from black women the negative remarks,(( why I’m trying to be like a White-man, mind you these women gave me the impression to be rich & Black-man, meant to be a rap artist, basketball player, working hard seemed to never enter the psyche… so, I have my story too, and this article live on.

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  • Demetreeway

    Omg…….you are so on point with all 8 reasons. It sounds like something I’ve repeated time and time again to those sistas out there trying to hold on to hope of finding a good black man. They will forever stay single and be nothing more than booty calls and babies mamas. Wake up and taste the vanilla….I have and it’s yummy!!!@

  • Sunflower99_3

    I black and don’t find it racist. I with a white guy and day after day due to the neighborhood we live in, black men constantly subject him to ridicule. Mostly making coments about his male member. Which I find amusing because he is most definitely bigger than ANY black man I have ever been with. Why can those things pass as UNracist or “just payback” in the black community (I use community as a whole here because it is majority, and I also feel that if one white person can be judged by the past of many than us as blacks should bear the same judgement) but this simple
    post be labeled as racist? When its only stating what is well known about a majority of black men? And just because a some of them (mr. Rici) don’t accept it doesn’t mean it isn’t a valid point(s). And it is coming fro most likely a black woman. I would love to hear some feedback. Thanks.

    • tj van der merwe

      My wife and i get constant rude remarks from black guys..It’s just envy,lol, because she is such an incredibly beautiful lady.They can’t believe she is with a white dude.

    • mikejones91

      I too am with a white man AND was subjected to SO MUCH racism. Its common knowledge, or a stereotype for that matter that white people are the true racists. I received nothing but open arms when introduced to his family. His friends didnt ridicule him and we weren’t harassed in his neighborhood…I was actually waiting at a bustop and an old white woman sat down. To most black women, an “old” white woman is the face of racism. With this woman, it was the COMPLETE opposite. She sat down and we talked about love, marriage, and of course…my white boyfriend. She didnt blink twice when she heard that and too me,,,for some reason; made me very happy…Ya see, even I can fall into the stereotypical ALL white are racist bullshit….Ill say, my own ppl…on average,…Are much more racist towards interracial dating than those of “lighter” variety

    • Kingjlee

      I feel sorry for you, must have been tough having to deal with those small guys lol Im a large black one so never really thought to brag about it

    • Chuckfertea

      Sunflower tell me this, how does a race of men, famous world wide for deception, hate, murder and genocide , overnight  became the leading ambassadors of true love, Without a major revival of the holy spirit. And  only to black women i might add. No Asian nor white nor Hispanic women make these outrageous comments. Problem solve. Why would anyone stay in a neighborhood being constantly ridiculed. Unless you are a butt faced lie.Your man has no sense of protection for you nor himself. Most women would not follow such. Go tell that your superior .

  • Alexreese1

    Whoever came up with this is so far from the truth . Black women only want a white man so that they can have a baby with good hair. Also u think they no more about money then blacks , They also will kill you if they go broke for the insurance they take out. Also remember that the white will only take lightskin very fine sisters cause they will not have mo darkskin babies

    • mikejones91

      FOH, with your FALSE black conspiracy theory bullshit. I am DARK…very DARK…I have never been referred to as “light skinned”/////Good hair? your joking right? My WHITE boyfriend loves my hair, obviously; hes my boyfriend…And if we have children, which he wants after marriage…I think the “good hair” bullshit would have played a role in him going out with a black woman you idiot….HAHAHHA, also, gtfoh with your lifetime television for IDIOTS man killing wife for insurance nonsense….my god, racists are LITERALLY the biggest retards on the planet…PPL LIKE YOU, ARE THE REASON NEGATIVE BLACK STEREOTYPES EXIST

      • Chuckfertea

        Why is a black girl name mikejones? You white  guys on here pretending to be black females tell outright lies and saying things no black female would  are really gay !

        • AnnaLovesALot7

          i know, right? lol. that wasn’t a very good disguise name…

        • MissRealuminatti

          Nope! You can tell by her dialect that she is indeed a sistah.

      • MissRealuminatti

        Right! If a white man wanted a lightskin girl with hair like his, then he would just get a white girl. lmao at “lifetime television for idiots.” These jealous black men have serious issues.

    • MissRealuminatti

      I’m brown but most white men say they prefer dark. Stop talking about things you don’t know.

  • Nish

    I so agree. Every point made was nothing but the truth. No racism in my eyes just stating the facts. I’m not a burned woman at all. Just had the opportunity to experience both worlds.

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  • Rodney King

    I am a black man and this is just ridiculous. I see no facts, figures, or statistics, just subjective thoughts and past experiences. If you would like to date inter-racially, that is great, but please refrain from stereotyping men of your own race to justify your desire(Black men are so bad so we need some good white men). Why is it white vs. black? How about Asians and Latinos being great lovers and husbands as well. Hey, and from the sound of things, it seems like white men are demanding more black women, so could one of you please point me to an article where white guys are suggesting black women over white women? I am more likely to see that for Asian women than black, that’s a fact, just look at the marriage rates of white men and Asian women vs black women and white men: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage_in_the_United_States#Census_Bureau_statistics . Love yourself and stay positive, good things will come as a result. Stop with the self-loathing and negative thinking. :D

    • HighlyExplosive

      I think I can agree with the point that maybe black women need to date outside their race more, but we don’t have to specifically uplift white men. Asian men are very nice, sweet and funny. You can learn a lot from an Asian men. Hispanic men too have a lot of good qualities, but they usually are very demanding of women, especially black women, since you look so much like their own kind.

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  • Jotun

    As a white male, I can say only some of these points apply to me, & even less to other white males I live near. Then again, I’m in the rural midwest & up to my eyeballs in trailer parks & high school drop outs.

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  • Carameldoll85

    Those of you that are upset @ this article need to reread & actually COMPREHEND what her point is. This article is simply stating that black women should start be more open minded & then giving some of the benefits to doing so. I agree with everything she said & did you all skip over the introduction where she states she is MARRIED to a black man herself? That’s the problem with black people now-they don’t want anything to be said about them unless it’s praising them. Black people don’t want to hear the truth about themselves, & usually our response to criticism is either to yell racism or start yelling insults that have NOTHING to do with the subject @ hand. No race is better than another BUT each race has their own problems(good & bad) on a social/economic level. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing that & moving towards a resolution-something that blacks are not doing.

    • Knievalus

      My sister dates mainly white man.  I do not have a problem with it to be honest with you.  I just wish the author would have put more context with her points though instead of leaving everyone hanging.  Before she goes rushing in with militant blindness I think it needs to also be tossed in the equation that not one white man was ever convicted of rape of a black women until the late sixties.  Before you go and talk about the color purple’s version of how black men mistreated black women also toss in the it is proven(75% of black americans have white blood) that millions of black women were raped in this country and left by white men without fathers(Booker T. Washinghton,Frederick Douglas etc).  For 75% of us to have white blood in us it was millions of white men who fathered illegitimate black children.  One of my colleagues who is a 64 years old black female told me about growing up in compton california and how the white jewish men would sit out in the projects in the sixties,in their cars,  when she was a little girl 9-15 years of age and how they would sit in their cars and jack off in front of all the black girls as they walk to and from school.  I just do not understand why a lot of black women decide to practice selective abstraction with their version of this issue.but some like this black collegue of mine put some truth and historical context to the issue before blindly accepting a generalization.

      “Unfortunately for Black
      women, Emancipation and Reconstruction did not stop their sexual
      victimization. From the end of the Civil War to the mid-1960s, no
      Southern White male was convicted of raping or attempting to rape a
      Black woman; yet, the crime was common”(http://www.ferris.edu/jimcrow/jezebel/).

      • HighlyExplosive

        Black men need to treat black women better. Also their children and other family members too. If black men did that they wouldn’t have to worry about blk women dating other races.

        • Arnold

          Despite your claims  the studies
          show that black women who marry white men ,marry white men who have less
          education than the black men that black women marry. If the reason are what back women give 
          then why do black women with doctorates degrees marry down instead of up or at
          least equal status when marrying white men who have no education or less
          education than black men? So if education is the issue that black females have
          as the reason for not marrying black men then why do they marry white men with
          even less education? What even shatters that myth even more is that asian men
          have outdone white men educationally and socially for years but yet asian women
          marry outside of their race more then any other group of women in this
          country!!!!!!! Asian women and black women want white men period!! Asian men
          already outdo white men in all areas. So why do most asian women marry outside
          their race? The reason that women of other races want white men is the host of
          privileges that being a white male brings in this country!! Stop trying to
          brainwash me !!me*(New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black
          Love and Marriage,Monday, August 8, 2011,By Ivory A. Toldson, Ph.D., and Bryant

      • badphairy

        Yeah, but the white guy dating me today wasn’t raping my great-grandma back then.

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  • http://twitter.com/EagleSeeker CarlsD

    This article is some what reasonable, but also very off. I think the author is confusing black men from poor communities than black men who are from strong families. Whites from poor communities are no different from blacks that are from poor communities they also have babies before getting married actually.
    The thing that everyone doesn’t understand is that whites simply outnumber blacks by far. There is only 12.5% blacks vs 72% whites, which means whites are over 200,000,000 in population and blacks are only around 40 million. Of course you’re going to find more whites from stable families, and even more whites are in poverty as well. Blacks (male or female) just have slimmer pickings sometimes which why they have to go outside of the race. The thing about the black female making more than black men causes him to be intimidated is another false assumption. Actually in many black families even white families that I have experienced the female is making more than the husband and yes they work it out just like anyone does. My sister, aunts and others that I have seen are exactly the same way. This depends on the individual and shouldn’t be judge towards the entire race. According to numbers interracial marriages have higher divorce rates than black families, so I hope this topic is not deceiving black women not to date their own race. I know interracial marriages can work out well, but it’s going to be more of a struggle than you may know.

    The real reasons to date someone should not be classified by stereotypes or false indications. It should because you are really interested and love them and they that relate well with you.

    • HighlyExplosive

      If notice though highest divorce rate is the Black men white women marriages. They fail more often then the Black woman white male marriages. However, you are right about the different economic classes. Unfrtunately so many BM and BW are below the poverty level. Difference is, black women seem to be working harder then our male counter parts to change that. There is a lot of educated brothers who seem up and arms about this article. I think you should understand that this article isn’t talking to you, it’s talking about the ghetto street dudes with 11 baby mama’s, living off the 12th girl he’s about to get pregnant. Really it’s talking to women to stay away from those bustas. I don’t think educated, good black men have anything to worry about.

      • Arnold

        Read this from a white male who married a black female who is an executive at a fortune 500
        comoany and he explaine how he is blackballed from all the coporate parties and
        isolated(in 2012) because he married a black female.

         “Generalizati ons are on
        this board. Nothing is proven to say who would be a better companion. However,
        disparities still exist and racism still exist in this country. This can make
        interracial relationships hard to complete. For instance, I am a White male
        working for a 500 fortune company and it is established I married an
        African-American woman, I cannot go to company parties or bring my lady or wife
        to company functions, because I am of another race or color. This type of issue
        exist in America today. Regina King promoting interracial relationships might
        work for her, but I have not seen her out with another person of race or color.
        Why, stereotypes exist and prejudice exist, and you do not play where you eat.
        Black men is this country has faced odds whether their educated, athlete,
        uneducated, movie actor, or criminal. It does not matter because stereotypes of
        the media presents a distorted image of Black men. Racism does not discriminate,
        so if you are ready to face discrimination and black lash and you can take it,
        then by all accounts date out of your race;however, if you are not strong enough
        then dating outside of your race might not be for you. All, I am trying to say
        is do what ever floats your boat, but remember there are consequences behind
        every decision made, and can you deal with situation. I love my black sister,
        but not all of our black sisters are peaceful. I have dated white women and some
        of them are feisty, argumentative, and confronting as black women. It is not the
        race, but the individual who are dealing with. I do not care, if the person is
        white, blue, red or purple, an individual has to examine the person and what is
        within, then make a decision based on that. There are good black and white women
        out there, just as there are good Black and White men. The problem is America
        has not changed about race, and until that is resolved interracial dating will
        have it’s issues”(http: //theybf.com/2010/ 05/06/regina-king- to-black-women-dat
        e-outside-your-rac e).

         For somme odd reasonn this white executive arrived at a
        different conclusion about the obstacles that black men face than you black
        females have???

      • Arnold

        The pboelm with you and a lot of bla k women is tat you swallow the media version of black male -female relatonsips.  Even though more black women have egrees than blak men ,the facts are that black men have higher income than black women!!!!!

        Take a look  “Black women began to outpace black men in degree production more
        than a half century ago, starting in the 1960s. However, degree production has
        not brought about parity in the personal income of black women and black men. Nationwide, although more than 800,000 more black women than
        black men have at least a bachelor’s degree, almost
        200,000 more black men than black women earn more than $75,000
        per year. In America,725,922 black men earn more than
        $75,000 compared to 528,204 black women; 100,000 more
        black men earn more than $100,000 than black women; and black men are twice as
        likely to earn more than a quarter million dollars.
        Therefore, if we define success in terms of education, there will never be
        enough black men for black women, but if we define success in terms of income,
        there is still some hope for black love”(New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for
        Black Love and Marriage

        Monday, August 8, 2011).
        New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for
        Black Love and Marriage

        Monday, August 8, 2011).

  • Vald_d

    Brothers are turning away from their female counterparts at alarming rates so here’s a little something to ponder.

    • Uchenna101

      I love how he calls them “brothers” and calls us “female counterparts.” Wow, such terminology.

      • badphairy

        You’ve never noticed how men do that? Men are “men” but women are “females” like they’re your parole officer or something.

  • Vald_d

    Brothers are turning away from their female counterparts at alarming rates so here’s a little something to ponder.

  • Angli8382cinlove

    I love reading the butthurt comments below. See if this article was vise versa with reasons why black men date white women the comments would be totatlly different. While these reasons are not superficial in the least. There was nothing stating looks, just emotional support. The truth hurts. This is very true, not bigoted or biased. Just truth. You black men have faults and us black women have faults. Accept them. And accept the fact that alot of us are crossing over and stop whining like a bunch of babies. Its very unattractive when you whine :3

  • Rhys

    Is this mainly an American problem? I haven’t come across any kind of problem in the UK. I still don’t see why it is people are so caught up on colour. The integrity of your soul means so much more than the shade of your skin. 

    • lex

      I was thinking the same :)

    • http://www.facebook.com/kayla.esbjorn Kayla Ancrum

      Yes, it is a mostly american problem. I’m american and I lived in the UK and you guys don’t have a lot of the same problems in your black communities that we do back here.

      • Americanblackbrit.

        So why is it that most black men in the UK are with white women?

        • EnglishBlackGirl

          Statistics in the UK suggest that around 1 in 10 people are black, therefore i would put it down to ratios.

        • MissRealuminatti

          the white men in the UK and most of Europe LOVE black women

    • http://twitter.com/thexsu Suzane Tshibala

      I totally agree with you, this was breaking news to me too.

  • Ann

    I’m a white married woman. I married a white man. There are too many black men marrying white women. That leaves white men marrying Asian women, but they don’t seem to have a lot in common with them culturally, because they come from other countries and not the Americas. They don’t speak English all that well sometimes. White men do like strong women and black women are mentally strong. I think it’s a good pairing myself. You speak the same language and I think there isn’t much of a cultural gap, since so many black women go to college. I say go for it. There are enough white men to marry all the unattached black women actually. If you take away all the white women marrying black men, then there are too many white men left out. They go for Asian women, but no offense, I don’t see them as attractive as black women or as outgoing. I think white men are afraid you won’t like them. As someone said, you don’t seem to trust that they just are attracted to you or find you interesting. They may have no ulterior motive. Just make sure they are at an age where they are thinking… marriage.

    • Bob C

      I disagree with the white man “accepting” marrying asian women…..I think most white men that date asian women choose to…..I personally think asian women (not all, but many) are the most beautiful women in the world

  • Normality

    It is really that hard to date your race? When you date outside your race, is like saying ,,I HATE MYSELF,,

    Dah, so many stupid people.

    • Brittany

      No, not really. Its actually time for black women to start thinking outside the box in regards to dating. You never see black men limit themselves the way we do, they date outside their race all the time. Black men must be honest with themselves and ask the question “Am I the type of man that I would want my male children to be like some day?” If the answer is no, there is some serious issues to address. I believe that black we as black women are sincerely tired of the level of disrespect & negligent behavior that black men have shown within the community. How hard can it be for a man to just say “I have a black sister, mother, cousin, & grandmother; I would not want anyone to disrespect them”. It seems to me black men have yet to understand the concept of defending your own. We cant grow as a community if our men continue to be the main perpretrators who exploit us quicker than any other race will.

      I have come to realize that I will need to look beyond our community to find a stable real man. We just need you all to grow up.

      • Rob B.

        As a white male I can tell you this: I have had some interaction with black females.
        The common roadblock I have run into is 5 minutes into a conversation you sisters
        like to make us elaborate on why we’re interested in a black woman. Really? What
        a buzzkill! If a white guy approaches you and your open to IR, why don’t you
        just give him a chance? Some white guys like black women just because they’re
        black but most don’t care what color you are. Either way, there’s nothing sinister
        going on(with regard to race). Some of us are just trying to get in your pants,
        and some are genuinely interested in you-just like black guys. I think a lot less
        of you would be sitting at home brooding over the lack of black males to date if 
        at least tried dating outside your race. I do however respect any woman that
        wants to preserve the integrity of her race by only dating of the same race where
        the intent is to find a marriage partner and have a family. Our country is vibrant
        because of the different ethnicity. It would be a shame if that that was lost due to
        too much mixing. 

        • Brittany

          Honestly, I would never flat out reject or question a white guy who wishes to get to know me. I try to understand where the guy is coming from before making automatic assumptions. Is it true that there are some black women at home brooding about their dating situation? Yes, but on the same token there doesn’t seem to be much of an equal exchange between black men & women. Thats a buzz kill. Lots of people focus too much on the outside rather than repair internal wounds.

          • Chuckfertea

            Is also  true that there are some white women at home brooding about their dating situation. Get real. You say race does not matter but white males and their black mammies have no problem bashing black males with generalizations and stereotypes. Instead of going the ____ on and enjoying their so called super human, love,  without all the bitterness. This behavior makes them both appear bitter.

        • Mature Sister

          You were doing great untill you mentioned “to much mixing”  Have you yet to hear?  The world is a big melting pot-omg!

        • HighlyExplosive

          White men have a very different approach then Black men. In college a lot of white guys seem to have found me interesting but I didn’t know what to do with them. I’m use to men coming right out and saying they want to take me out or asking for my number. White men take things very slow, at least when they approach black women. They really want to get to know you. I like that approach, it shows they are serious and not after a booty call. But it is a little confusing for a girl from the hood who’s use to bold and straight to the point black men. Eventually I get comfortable in the friend zone with the white men, and maybe they get comfortable too, or loose their nerve to take things further after a while.

          • MissRealuminatti

            I used to like how black men were very aggressive daters until I realized that are also aggressively pursuing Tamika, Kim, Sharonda, Tasha, Shaniqua, …

        • ohsnaponu

          I date white men all the time. I’m 60 and dated outside my race before it was popular. Never had a problem. Know why? Because I look at them as MEN. I don’t assume they want to date me because of some ‘jungle-fever’ thing (because if that’s true, I’ll find out anyway). I assume they are interested because I’m a woman. It’s the way I present myself…never had a problem.

        • MissRealuminatti

          There is no 100% pure race. We are all mixed.

    • MissRealuminatti

      Do you go to blogs about black men dating white women and say stuff like that?

  • Slivermist318

    Am engaged to a white man. And I grow up around all races; but this is half true. Although a white man wants a hoe, cause she has yet found a man to make her feel more. And he knows he’ll be satisfied. Not all black men are bad. Like other said ot all depends on who u love. All race of men have bad apples

    • Compaq

      White men make much better companions and husbands than black men. Black men seem to be ghetto, uneducated and stupid when it comes to reality. They are all so interested in playing the ghetto man in those damn rap videos. Black men don’t even know how to treat and romance their women. Black men are becoming a past of society. I would rather date a white or latino man anyday over these ghetto black men.

      • Dmcfarland

        Don’t you think that’s a broad generalization?

        • Compaq

          No I do not think it’s a generalization. In fact, it’s a fact. Ask any black woman they will tell you the same. Black men are exhausted. Sorry and know longer sought after.

          • Chuckfertea

            You are a white man. Are you gay ?

          • Julian

            Thanks for your input! You have spared me a lifetime of pain, deceitfulness, and debt. I know longer have to worry about finding the “one” I can finally move on with my life which has already been blessed beyond measure, but more so because of your kind words.

            As a 27yr old black male Iraq Veteran with a BS degree that makes 75K+ as an Information Security Engineer, I’m glad you have shown me major insight to the worthlessness of marriage. Cheers to you!

        • Cutesy273736918

          The statement she made isnt see it hurt or it sounds ridiculous when it happens to the other side. How much of a hyporcite can black men to be. They can judge us and spew BS about us, but we can’t. It’s called don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. Point blank. :3

      • alphadec

        I am a white man! l pls send me a message!

        • Mature Sister

          Deqr ALPHADEC…pleeeaaasei hate think what that means..anyway you are to funny-just jumping in with “I am a..  to cute AND it works! LOL

      • Arnold

        Respect your right to date who you want.  I really do.  My sister dates mainly white men and I get along with them.  I do have a bone to pick though.  You are guilty of selective abstraction.  Asian men hyave outdone white men in every other area including academics.  But yet asian women date outside their race more than all other women in this country.  why is that if your theory is correct about education.  asian women want white men perios because being a white male had a whole host of privileges attached to it!!  Yu are not being honest because research shows that when black women marry outside their race they marry down educationally.  The study shows that black women marry white men on average who have less education then black men that black women on average marry!  Studies show that a white male with a felony and no degree can get a job faster than a black man with no record and a degree!



      • AnnaLovesALot7

        not the black men i know. you buy into stereotypes too much.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000709864513 Michelle Kirkwood


        DO you know how ignorant you sound? ALL black en form the ghetto, and you can not evaluate ALL black men by what you see on some damn rap videos,which are nothing but entertainment anyway. Oh, BTW,white men can be just as abusive and ignorant as anybody else on the planet,so please do not even put them on a pedestal–they’re been there for far too damn long as it is. Seriously,you need to get back to reality—-white boys are human and they f*** up like anybody else on the planet—so get out of her with that pro-white boy bull****!

    • Donald Mc Farland

      Why is a women a hoe if shes slept with a number of men over her adult life? I don’t here anyone calling men who have slept around hoes. Plus I want to be with a women that has some experience with intimate relationships.



  • Brittany

    I love this article. Until recently, I was the biggest supporter of our men. You could not tell me for one minute that black men werent strong or intelligant. But sadly I am coming to the reality that they are. No matter what type of black man I date or how much I alter my expectations their is a complaint of some sort from them. I have dated guys who were so arrogant & snobish they had to judge me on everything I have done in the past. I have been involved with men who seemed normal on the outside, but lacking self esteem on the inside. My point is that I believe black men as a whole have been taught wrong. They place a great deal of focus on things that are non significant & miss the significant. You cant expect a virgin woman to be with you, yet you have slept with more than your share of women. You cant expect your woman to treat you like a king when you have done nothing within the home to make your woman feel like a queen. Black men have it backwards, they create babies with women they would not even consider marrying. Black men, wake up!!

    • Chuckfertea

       Dear Britanny, fornication and adultery is not limited to a certain color of man. Since it takes two to tango from your statement , it seems more women are willing to hit the hay than men. Unless you are saying 
      black men are sleeping with manikins. Where is the women’s blame in this.They create babies with women they would not even consider marrying? That don’t seem like the man’s fault to me.Why would you allow a man that don’t intend to marry you father your children ! Go figure Einstein ! So the woman that helps them create it is some innocent victim that don’t know her underwear from a game of Tesla. So Black men have the superhuman ability to create babies all by themselves. I have solved that problem for you. Wake up and tell your whorish friends to close their legs.Black men wake up to what?

      • HighlyExplosive

        You know as well as everyone else black men lie and scheme to get the panties. Then when the lies back fire and their a father the “woman should have known”. Should have know black men lie? Ok, well now we’re warning women of that. What’s the problem?

        • gruff

          Well said.

        • Getreall

          Psss tell it! It’s sickening already. Wake up to what? Wake up to the real world. Turn off BET and 106 n Park, put away the playstations, come out the strip clubs, pull your pants up, throw away the Mac Daddy attitude and wake up to adulthood and become a man. It’s just sickening already.

          • N.D. Smith

            And its killing our families. Black men put the ego away. We say we are unhappy and our families are falling apart and instead of rising to the occasion like a real man you just get all defensive. We need you and we…your families want you…but right now unfortunately we deserve so much better.

        • Danny

          Your F***igng ignorant it’s sad. You think black men are the only men on earth to cheat or lie to a girl for sex. You have serious issues.

          • MissRealuminatti

            yeah, but at least cheaters of other races still take care of business…less drama with non-black men.

          • P Done

            Do you have to curse the person out to get your point across. You can disagree without sounding like the thing you call her, you know.

        • Lucias

          The problem is that it’s basically saying stop talking to us, we are dumb, we are insecure, we are broke, irresponsible and childish. Its warning black women to marry white men like us black men are some kind of disease. I don’t lie to women. I don’t have hella sex. I’m in college. I speak 2 languages. I love Black women. Do you see the problem? You should teach women warning signs. If he sags don’t talk to him. No career, no college, no money, no nothing? Don’t talk to him. The sex is rough and angry and you ain’t even said you like it like that? That’s a sign quit talking to him. I treat women as right as possible. You just got to know how to shop. Don’t buy stuff that will rip easy or get dirty fast it ain’t that hard I do it with bw all the time. Lots of make up? Next. No job but I got a job so its COO? Next. Hella booty shorts all the time with bra showing? Next. No college, no nothing? Next. Can’t be alone for one week without out me? Next. It is a lot of small things that show bigger signs. You have to be willing to work through somethings. Because of patriarchy it is easy to get women to change for me. It is a lot harder to get the average man who doesn’t understand patriarchy to change for you. I would like to tell you don’t give up and good luck!

        • bigdawgman

          Ahhhh, so there you have it. I used to wonder why I had no game, and then I finally realized it was because I hate lying, even for the panties. Meanwhile, my friends with game were laying with every woman they could get their hands on. It hit me like cold water one day when I watched my friend mesmerize two other female friends about how good he treats women. He neglected to tell them he was living with a woman who supported him, and slept with ANYTHING moving. I had to snap them out of the trance and tell them the truth later, unfortunately one had already slept with him. smdh I don’t know what to tell you ladies, but perhaps you should let a man SHOW you, not TELL you, who he is. And don’t be so quick to dismiss the “no game” brothers….

          • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

            You read an excerpt, from a book that most Black women hate to read! Good Post! Funny how the man always becomes the bad guy once the girl finds out the dude is banging her, her friends, and some of their family members too. If some of the signs that women ignore were seen or recognized There would be no problem.

          • pepjrp

            You’re a good guy and will win in the end for sure!

        • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

          So, in a nut shell you are stating women don’t know how to choose a man? How to tell if he will respect her, How to tell if he is interested in her, how to get to know the man without sex first? “The women’s body is a temple, yet those who don’t even attempt to solve one puzzle are granted access and never set off one booby trap!”

        • AutumnMarissa

          What race of men don’t lie to sleep with women? All races of men lie. You’re incredibly ignorant and that sort of pathetic mindset is ‘HighlyExplosive’ to our society.

      • N.D. Smith

        And this is why we are leaving in droves. Tell Hispanic men their women are unhappy and they will put forth the effort to win their women back. This is the case with most men but not Black men. Ya’ll go write F’ that B’ songs. Ya’ll place all the blame on us when you are supposed to be the head of the family. Take the criticism and use it to make positive change or just admire our beautiful, bountiful behinds as we walk away.

        • Danny

          Not all black men moron. I don’t what fantasy world your living about Hispanic men but that’s not true.

          • SaveThe Republic

            Work on your grammar and proof read what you wrote…you sound so ignorant, no one is going to take you seriously.

            • Look Before You Leap

              Unfortunately, MOST of the posts on this site contain HORRIBLE grammar. Some are so bad they appears to be written by 2nd graders. UGH!!

              • Nakia Jenkins

                *appear is what I meant to say.. UGH!

        • badphairy

          Most of the ‘popular’ rap music is too misogynistic for me to even listen to once. It seems like radio now is 50% misogyny and 50% guys whine-moaning into a microphone about how ‘you got to get wid me, girl’.

          Why? What are those types of men bringing to my life (regardless of their specific race, BTW. Hip-hop culture is interracial). I’ve spent years studying, having hobbies, becoming a well-rounded person with a lot on the ball. I’m not about to settle for spending the rest of my life with some aging homeboy!

      • SaveThe Republic

        You know, as I do, that black men will sleep with anything that has tits two holes and a heartbeat…heartbeat optional!

        • ItsMiah

          No! in this day and age of all these DL “brotha’s” the tits and the two holes is optional the heartbeat is a maybe.

        • Susan Flemming

          WOW! Sad to say but that is so true. My best friend’s brother was my life long crush and I just recently found out that he sleeps with guys on the side (meanwhile he has 2 kids with the same woman). I thank God eveyday that I never had the nerve to tell him my feelings because I might have caught HIV or something horrible from him!



      • Getreall

        Black men gave up on black women a longggg time ago and we dealt with it. Your turn…doesn’t feel so good huh?

        • MissRealuminatti

          lmao. that’s right!

          • JB

            It will feel good when u get CHEATED on by the Wman.

            • MissRealuminatti

              I guess there’s a difference between being cheated once or twice by a man that provides, compared to getting cheated on 18 or more times by a man that has no job but plenty of excuses.

      • badphairy

        Go ahead, most of y’all already gave up on yourselves.

    • HighlyExplosive

      I agree. I was like you until shortly. I was into black studies and down to fight side by side with black men. However, I realize that this generation of BM is too far lost. They attack BW and blame us for allt he evil they do. They abandon their kids, it’s our fault. They end up in prison, it’s their mama’s fault. They have sex with 100’s of women, no protection and have to give up half their check in child support, it’s the 100’s of womens fault. I even saw an article where a man killed his pregnant girlfriend because she didn’t want to have an abortion, in the comments section I was disgusted by how many Black Man said what this man did was right. I am done. Black men on average treat black women like dirt and they expect us to treat them like royalty. However it is true theire are some good black men out there and you can’t paint them all with the same brush. I have known and am friends with some real cool brothers. But the fact is a single black woman has to keep her options open. A lot of these BM have their heads swollen. How you can get a swollen head from the highest unemployment rate, black on black crime and probably billions of dollarsa in child support is beyond me. But I personally cannot cheerlead for the home team when the home team attacks me and spits in my face every change they get. Blaming me for not being more “submissive to him” when his life is complete chaos, and black women are doing better on our own instincts anyway…

      • Gmcmillian

        Your comment is on point, and straight factual even from an opinionated point of view…

        • acediaiffza

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      • margoz

        Love your post and know the sad statistics.(I’m the white wife in previous post.) There are terrific black men out there, though, as you mention. Most men are not trained in relationship building. They don’t play with baby dolls or doll houses usually, and they don’t learn consequences because mommas dote on them too much. Well, that’s most white men’s problem. I plan to ask a lot more questions of the guy, black or white, the next time.

      • Frank

        Look at history. Once affirmative action was created, black men said you owe us for slavery. So what did we do, we gave them the right to pursue any opportunity they wished. It worked, so they wanted more. So we gave them advantages for being black and other minorities as well to try to level the playing field like corrected ACT scores to get into college, more government assistance for food, housing, purchases, and acquiring jobs. As they wanted more, they got more. It is to the point now that whatever the black man wants or says, he is right in his thinking. If try to fight against his actions, you are a racist for doing so. The fact they can get away with anything now is why they have such high egos. Those egos are what leads to them having the statistics you mentioned. I know for speaking the truth, I will appear racist to probably many black men with bad attitudes that see this. But, I had many friends of all types of backgrounds as a kid. I have seen the good and the bad. I understand that most black men don’t use this to their advantage. I live west of St. Louis, and there are many blacks that get away from those types of blacks, just because the blacks in St. Louis and surrounding areas have nothing but bad attitudes. When I asked them why they prefer to be around white men, the reasons they give agree with the article.

        • Gibson Pierre Payton

          If we could trade all of the affirmative action and government assistance aka crutches for white privilege and a country founded and run by use we would. Unfortunately crack some how was flown and shipped into our neighborhood and fathers started disappearing by the 1000s so its been kind of hard to find our culture and manhood without culture holders and men.

        • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

          Funny as hell, now this topic is the cause of Affirmative action? GTFOH! Seems as if you are looking for dark meat and there are many in here willing to get with it.

        • Tracey Ratchford

          We!!??? What exactly did YOU do again??!!

      • Melanie

        Have to agree with this comment. I’m mixed, and have dated over 50 black men in my lifetime, and have had about 4 serious relationships with black men. Only a couple of those black men treated me right. Out of all the black men I dated, they either: didn’t have a car, didn’t have a job, had children and baby mama drama. The ones that had a job expected me to kiss his a$$ because he had one. I started dating white guys. True, there are bad white guys same as there are good black guys, but the chances of finding a white guy that has a good job, does not have baby mama drama, and treats me right are far greater than finding a black man with the same. I’ve been dating a white guy for a year now. He is buying a house and has asked me to live with him. He has said he will pay ALL the bills, I just have to buy groceries. A far cry from my black exH, while he made the same amount of money as me, expected me to help him out after he spent his money on himself and then didn’t have enough for his share of the bills.

        • P Done

          I always fall for your type. Like J Fox said, perhaps your short falls in relationships were due to the fact that you fell for the same type of guy every time (fixer uppers you thought you could fix) and not the fact that they were black. This article would probably make sense if it wasn’t an over generalized case of black men. I have met black and white men that have the qualities of this article (have not dated men with these qualities as they are just not my type) which makes me logically conclude, it is not about race but perception and perhaps your perceptions are skewed by this skewed sample you have used to justify them.

        • X

          50 Men!?! You are the ho that the article speaks of being turned into a housewife. Look at you complaining about a man having no car. Really, a car? What did you bring to the table? You shouldnt even be comfortable with you new guy paying all the bills. But I guess if ita okay with him then its okay with you. Ever think that you made it ok for those 50 guys to sleep with you and let you provide whatever you were willing to provide? Dont throw stones…

      • randomtandem


      • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

        Your post makes points yet you still leave out the fact it takes two to tango, and one who decides who will lead. Your comment is more like good opinion based off of twerking! Far as I know only women lead in twerking.

    • margoz

      There are many white men exactly as you describe the arrogant black man. My husband is white. I am white. He complains about everyone, nothing is good enough for him, he is always right even when he’s wrong. I forgot to ask him if his first wife knew they were seperated when he started.seeing someone else. He had always said they were separated. It never entered my mind until last year to ask if his wife thought they were separated. He left our marriage in Jan 2010 for a black co worker who reports to him.My gift to her was him. Our marriage was good in all the ways that counted and his anger toward the world was something he was and is working on in therapy. That sounds good, the therapy. It’s something a lot of white men will do but rarely follow the program. He did realize in therapy that I wasn’t the cause of his anger and he still loved me. He now cheats on this woman with me. Legally we’re still married.
      In therapy, when asked about our sex life during our marriage, my husband told the therapist how it was. The therapist told him people would kill to have a marriage like ours. He said it was the best relationship he ever had. He has a problem with lying, but I won’t go into that. Just look for men with the same values you have, not whether they’re black, tan or white.

      • tam

        does the wife/new girlfriend know you guys are sleeping together?

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

        if you are still legally married then the only one cheating is your husband, with his girlfriend.

      • sinsin sin

        just saw your response and i agree with some of it but concerns me more is why are you allowing this loser to once again be in your bed. He is obviously never ever going to be faithful whether its with you or the girlfriend. You actually stound like you are glad that he is sleeping with you. Do you have such low self esteem to actually believe that he loves you more ? This guy is using both of you and telling you both what he thinks you want to hear. I would imagine if his therapist

      • MissRealuminatti

        Your marriage is a hot mess and doesn’t represent most bw/wm relationships. My white husbands has flaws like most men, but he is still ten times better than any black man I have ever known. Even the flawed wm have jobs, good credit, responsible, education,no bastard children…unlike the average bm.

      • P Done

        This sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary drama. The debts people stoop to for love. But at least this comment is indicative as to how inaccurate this article is and shows its more about the choices made in a mate than the mates race.

    • Vita locos

      You can’t generalize. I don’t know any black man that fit the characterization you describe.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Rakeem-Gomez/637450402 Rakeem Gomez

      stop hanging out with thugs.The idea of generalizing a race of men is a totally flawed concept so your argument is wrong as a result of it.Perhaps you need to start socializing in a different environment.

      • MissRealuminatti

        the non-thugs are just as delusional, arrogant, egotistical,promiscuous as the the thugs. Most black men have issues regardless of thug status or not

        • Elmo

          not all black men are thugs

          • MissRealuminatti

            I just said “non-thugs” There thugs and then there are non-thugs = not a thug. lol

    • SaveThe Republic

      Black men wake up.
      I’m glad to see you finally did!

    • Grace

      Maybe the problem is you!

    • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

      Don’t forget these weak black men are being raised by the so called “scrong black woman!” So everything you stated comes back to you. I guess you can say you are Sh—yting on yourself about bad decision making, coping, and reasoning skills. Those black men don’t create those babies alone!

    • IKnowBestAndImNoBias

      i know this has been up for a while and you wont read this but you can judge skin color by your personal experiences if your not already married dont be biased reach out to other races

      -There Is No Such Thing As Race It Is Simply Climate Adaption

    • John

      Author, you must not have met me, now 37 years old. Black, Purdue engineering grad, professional engineer, was married when I had a child 10 years ago (to a strong semi educated black woman who began to act too ignorant too often for me), divorced, met and married a strong educated multi-degree professional black woman who makes almost as much money as I, financially stable, saving investing and planning for retirement, bought a house in a nice quiet neighborhood with black and white people, plan on having another child (with her), etc…

      Yes, I know, that was not a sentence, but rather a rundown of all the things that I am, which are considered “white” by you. There is and has never been a speck of white in either one of our lives. No we are not racist. Yes, I love black women like my wife and they love black men like me. If I had met a white woman with the qualities of the black women in my life, maybe I’d be with her. It just never worked out that way. If a black woman finds a white man with qualities like mine, I expect her to be happy with him. Nothing wrong with that, at all.

      These are not traits of a WHITE man, they are traits of a RESPONSIBLE man. Yes, surprisingly, both responsible and irresponsible men exist in all shades of the human spectrum. I happen to be of the responsible variety. However, it’s more likely to be pointed out when an irresponsible man is black or when a loud & ignorant woman is black. Likewise, it’s more likely to be pointed out when a responsible man is white or when a woman who is classy is white. That’s the only difference. A sad difference, might I add. I wonder why that is… Maybe because whites aren’t as overly docile and classy as you’re making them out to be and voice their opinions in ways that reach the masses, while black complaints are usually kept “in the family”, so to speak, or in the immediate vicinity. As someone pointed out, whites own most of mass media, so those are the messages you will hear; whether up front or, more likely, subliminally. This gets into everyone’s heads no matter the race and after hearing and seeing it so much, people start to believe it, no matter the race.

      I am proud to be black. I love people of all races. I wish people would embrace our TRUE racial differences and stop making up (or listening to and accepting) fake differences meant to condemn or uplift a whole race, like this author did.

  • MrsM

    I’m a black woman who’s been married to my French Canadian (white) husband for 5 years and now. I grew up in community that was predominantly white and the small black community there hated me because I “wasn’t black enough”. I was even asked by a classmate “why you gotta be speakin proper english all  da time like you some white B**ch”. Experiences like that and seeing my 5 brothers cheat on women and my own father cheat on my mother I became open to the idea of not necessarily ruling out anyone based on skin color. So here I am happily married and definitely in love, but I would never say one race is better than the other. It all comes down to who you love and who loves you back. 


      you’ve done the right thing, you have left he race, DON’T COME BACK! 

      • keepin it real

        wow thats a pretty hostile response are you equally as angry at black men who date/marry outside their race.

      • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

        You said it right, but I would have made it sound rosy like she did.

      • pepjrp

        I appreciate your honesty in your comment. Funny, how the national networks, which are run by white liberals always portray anyone who doesn’t want someone to date outside of their race as redneck, country white dudes. So if you are ever feeling oppressed, you can feel good that the media never tells how some blacks really feel about race mixing. Only whites get that bad label.

        • john

          It’s called revers psychology. Everybody knows they “are run by white liberals” and that they pretty much “can’t” portray blacks in such a way if they want to stay on the air. We all know what they mean though. It does, however, show that blacks aren’t the only race with ignorant people. It’s just that no one ever talks about ignorant people who aren’t black.

    • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

      You seem to have made your choice based off your experience growing up around your own kind, or as you put it “The small black community.” I am guessing that you are either mixed or a brown/dark skinned sister who stood out. Still, you stated that you would never say one race is better but from what you wrote it does not seem that way. You choose to be bias toward others who look like you based on a few in the box experiences. Which is why you are saying one race is better than another, subconsciously that is.

      • Guest

        You are guessing she is a dark skinned sister who stood out? WTF?! Wow! Last I checked, dark skinned people do NOT stand out. You make it sound like the black community is full of light skinned people and the darker ones are sprinkles. Maybe you should stop watching BET. The fact that you are even trying to make it into an issue or a reason is quite disturbing. I wont be surprised if your mother/ sister is dark skinned. SMH. You have a color complex. Nothing in her post points to her skin tone or mixture.

        And I find it very VERY interesting that you ignored the part about people complaining that she speaks proper English. If you wanted to bring up an issue, there is one for you. Why are people proud to lower themselves by speaking bad English amongst other things? Of all the things to take pride in! It’s not like America has any other national language.

        • badphairy

          America has no national language at all, and takes great pains to keep it that way. The language problem really is a problem. I don’t speak Ebonics well, and don’t like to discuss serious things in it. I have no desire to take some saggy-pantsed side-hatter to a faculty mixer.

          The inclination toward ignorance is a huge factor in American society in general. For every black person who has nastily said “no matter what degree you get you still a n*gg*r” there has been the white person who wants to know “what you readin fer”.

          I’m of mixed descent but was adopted early by white people. While it’s true that there are no-goodniks of every race, the general outlines of the archetypes in the article are obviously evident in society. I certainly don’t have a problem with educated/educable black women deciding they have better odds of a brighter future if they marry white men.

          I do worry that black men are on a downward spiral that’s going to be very hard to dismantle.

    • CaramelBeauty

      Black people do feel some type of way when you talk with some intelligence. Just because I know how to say and use words does not make me any less black. The reason for that is the propaganda that networks have put into their head that to be black you must talk poorly and care not of your future. Me talking correctly has to do with that I want to be seen as an intelligent young black woman. I like rap music and I feel as though Michael Brown did not deserve to die. I don’t choose to hate all white people because I have good friends that are white. But, I know that are some people in the world that are racist and think that because Michael Brown stole from the store he got what he deserved. And what about Trayvon he did nothing to die the way he did yet Zimmerman got off without jail time. That pisses me off because I have brothers that don’t make the smartest decisions but if they were to be killed in cold blood then I would have to pull the racist card because that just isn’t justice. Then when some talk as if they have lost a loved one to gun violence that he deserved it makes me want to take them to where Michael was and see what they would do. This white cop on young black male is getting out of hand and I don’t see it as a coincidence.

  • Dmcfarland

    According this article black men are in a sad state. Why are they in that state? I’m having a hard time financially and live in a low income area but I don’t act like an ignorant, illiterate and rude thug.

    • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

      Good post, the only thing that can be stated about Black men is that some Black women can’t choose the right ones and then put the blame to all the others.

  • Madjibeyeliliane

    black is beautiful

    • http://debatesthatmatter.blogspot.com/ Tim

      I wish Black women still believed it! Some of the most beautiful looking women on this planet don’t think they are beautiful.

    • pepjrp

      And so is white.

      • RightRightt

        I’ll agree to that but white people already consider themselves the beauty standard. It’s black people who need positive reinforcement because all their lives they’ve been made, by white people, to feel like heels.

        So we don’t need to get into that.

        • pepjrp

          I don’t believe that white people have done that to any large degree whatsoever in at least the past 40 years. It may just be the erroneous perception that some black women feel. Plus, I have never met any black women who act like they needed any reinforcement. In fact, many black women will go about anywhere and any time and brag about their looks and ethnicity. While white women could not nor would they ever brag about any looks and tie those looks in with their ethnicity. Whites must always act like they have no ethnicity. Hence, there are no Ivory magazines or any network that openly caters through a name or acronym to anyone of European ancestry. The fact that someone would write that black is beautiful even on this site is always admired, but you will never see it written that white is. If you do, you will be called a racist. Obviously, we disagree on this. And just to say, I am very attracted to many black women, but haven’t found one yet, who feels the same, but i am still looking. :)

          • samanthaclemons

            I’ve never understood the argument “why aren’t there ‘white’ magazines?” Why am I an “African” American, but you’re not a “white” or “European” American? These lines weren’t drawn by us, we’ve simply found a way to function within them and provide mediums for our own cultural expression, that otherwise isn’t accounted for in mass media. “Black” magazines cater to a very specific culture, something that Cosmopolitan, GQ, and Vanity are gravely lacking, despite the diversity of their consumer base.

            Why is it that I’m treated differently when I go into Bloomingdale’s alone, with my natural hair in full form, than when I’m there with my white fiancee, as if he somehow legitimizes my presence? Why is it that when I go into drugstores in a diverse neighborhood, I find skin-whitening cream, but in my neighborhood (where I’m one of a handful of black residents), it’s not there? Why is it when I speak to someone on the phone, and then meet them in person, they’re in awe that I’m not a white woman, simply because of the way I speak or my diction?

            I think the logical answer to this question lies in another question.

            What would you think if I started an organization to feed children who live in the Upper West Side of Manhattan?

            Does that sound unnecessary?


          • CaramelBeauty

            Black females are being taught they are somebody and should embrace their looks and culture. That is why there is a black history month so we can teach the younger generation that they are very precious. Black people are not known for their works the most known fact about black people is that they were slaves. When you see that then I feel depressed that anyone would do that to another human being. Also black people are seen to be ignorant and that is not true at all. Whites have no reason to have a white history month because white people are being talked about everyday in classes. In history there is one section that it taken to talk about slavery and segregation. That is also true for the Indians. But hundreds of years is to talk about the white founding of the world. To actually go in depth about black people you would have to take a specific class. So yes I gladly brag that I am African American and I have a beautiful brown shade and full lips, and that my hair is kinky. If more black women bragged about their beauty then we would be able to accomplish so much more.

        • CaramelBeauty

          I agree with you. Some white women feel that they are superior to the black female and look down on them. Some of the females need encouragement that they are beautiful just the way that they are and don’t need to change. White people have always been seen as being superior to the blacks and that message to the younger generation is lowering their self esteem. Black women are confident because in the earlier generation there were people that sad being black was bad and ignorant. We are more than being entertainers. I for one would love for a black male/female being on the forbe’s richest people list. That would make black people’s confidence that they can achieve great things. We can be us and not act like a different race. I see Bill Gates and other men but I don’t see a black male or female owning that much money. I believe that the black people can become someone great and be seen as equals and not a lesser race.

    • Tyrone Mahem

      If we believe this then why do our men chase white women?

      • kina

        You do not own any men. That is a saddest thing Ive heard in 2013. Generally speaking ofcourse, there are two type of white women that date black men. There are the very classy, pretty ones, who generally date black men that are very rich and successful. and ones that date the “hood” black guys” The classy and successful ones seem to have less attitude, usually havent experienced hardship, have wealthy parents themselves and are generally said to be freakier in bed. For black successful men, this is a better scenerio than either dating a black women who is of equal success or a “hood” type of black female. Then the white girls that date hood black men are usually big And what most world call the “white trash.” They are a good look for hood dudes because they have the same sweet, do what you
        say, attitudes and will take care of their dude financially and sexually. This
        I would think, would be an ideal candidate for the black man. And the reasons listed above, are why black women are ideal candidates for black men because we bring that strong, no nonsense attitude to the relationship. Unfortunately, most Black women are taught to only date black men. Black men generally aren’t. If they are taughtanything, its that straight hair and light skin is what you should bring home. This
        is what they are taught and it follows them into their future.

  • cleva

    Why do I know so many unhappy white women if white men are so great? This is really AMAZING ignorant.  Its one thing to support interracial relationships but it shouldn’t come at the expense to a group of people.  Black relationships have its challenges but also successes.  White may marry initially but the divorce rates are high. This article negates how racism, classism, and sexism work against having successful relationships.   This is really a sad article. Its so limited in it efforts. 

    • Breadhead

      Excellent point.  If white men were so superior should there be almost no unhappy white women?  or at the very least far less then there are.  
      White men are riddled with faults just as black men are(and women for that matter) because we are all human.  There are white men that abuse wives, molest kids, have gambling issues, have extramarital affairs, etc…  Of course not all white men have these problems but many do.  Same for black men.  Human beings have issues because humans are not perfect.  It’s not a color issue!

      This article is racist.  And it’s all the more Shameful and disappointing that it came from a black person.  My god, is it in wonder the world looks down on us when we do things like this?

      • MissRealuminatti

        Maybe white women are unhappy because they are the weak like black men; which might explain why ww/bm love to hook up. The reason wm divorce them is because they are not good strong women.

        • adg

          The notion that white women are weak is bullshit and was invented by insecure black women. Just because someone isn’t loud all the time and shout their opinions out does that make them weak? Sometimes a bit of class and knowing when to to shut your mouth are the highest form of strength. I have known plenty of classy black women, so this is not meant to put a blanket stereotype on them, but seriously it is ridiculous to judge someones inner strength based on the volume of her voice. People of any race or color who say that about someone else are just trying to justify something in themselves.
          The white divorce rate is high because the white marriage rate is high and you can’t get divorced without getting married. Divorce rates are high for every race.

          • ToddChoris

            Actually white women are an issue in the “white” community. It takes a different type of white guy at this point in history to date black women. You really do have to treat black women better than you treat white women in my experience or they won’t date you at all. I think the divorce rates in interracial marriages bear this point out. White women marry outside of their race and cause divorces while black and asian women have better, longer marriages with white men than white women do and certainly better, longer marriages than black men who marry white women. That isn’t a coincidence Pew Research did that poll.

          • CaramelBeauty

            White females are thought to be weak because they are shown to look the other way when their husbands are beating them or talking to them without respect. Some black females are like that too but because black females are seen as loud they are shown to be strong and independent. Like Eleanor Roosevelt, she knew FDR cheated on her yet she stayed with him. I having too much respect for myself will never let a man treat me like that and disrespect me.

        • adg

          Not to mention that the black divorce rate (12%) is higher than the white divorce rate, 10%.

          • ToddChoris

            actually the black divorce rate is higher because of black men. When black women marry outside their race they have better marriages than every other group of women… Sooo….

      • Tyrone Mahem

        WOMEN are less happy than men.
        That is because they have higher expectations. When we can’t achieve what we expect we are discontented. Men are more realistic in our expectations in life.
        People are happier in 2nd and 3rd world countries also. In 1st world countries with high expectations and high stress everyone tends to be less happy with their lives.

        • CaramelBeauty

          I want a male that respects me and doesn’t cheat. If we have issues then we need to talk them out and not let them fester. I feel that if I am willing to give you this then if we get married, I expect the same from you. If there is no male that can do this then I will be happy staying single. I would choose to be married but I will not settle for less. I have too much respect for myself and I don’t need a man to make me happy. But if I do marry then I will respect the male and be a supportive wife. That is just my view on relationships. I believe in marriage as my grandparents did and they were married for 50 years. I don’t want to marry 3 times to get it right.

      • Michael Lee Washington

        I know…and the author can’t even see it.

      • badphairy

        I think there’s a lot of truth to this article, actually. I also think that interracial and/or intercultural relationships have different kinds of baggage. That difference can keep people engaged in the relationship longer.

      • CaramelBeauty

        This article is pretty racist but there are truths in this. It does irritate me when I see a black male with a white female because there all ready so few of them. I have read that some white men are crazy but I have no personal experiences. I have thought about dating a white male but there is just something about the black male that I love that I just get mad when they are dating a white female instead of a black female. I do feel that if you love someone then go ahead but for me it is more about I want my children to be full black because I love my race.

    • Alexreese1


    • MissRealuminatti

      But at least they get MARRIED – unlike most black men that want the milk but don’t want to buy the cow. There’s still no comparison. Even the bad wm are still better than the average bm.

      • Sandy

        “unlike most black men that want the milk but don’t want to buy the cow.” I love it when women are compared to cattle – by fellow women no less!

        If you see yourself as cattle, you will be treated as cattle.

        • MissRealuminatti

          Don’t take everything so literally. It as an analogy!!!

        • badphairy

          Sounds like you really like the idea of women as cattle.

      • Michael Lee Washington

        What? are kidding me you looney. I know plently of white guys that play the field with no intentions of getting married. Your brainwashed by the media and stupid articles written by an angry black women. Heres a little hint for you…….there are good black guys and bad black guys….now say it with me this time…..there are good white and guys……….and ……come on…you can do it

      • CaramelBeauty

        I think that blacks mimic what they see, if their parents were not married then they will follow. I don’t want my future child to not see their father or have visits with them. I see that white people do have more of a marriage because they want to make it work for the kids. Also it is more frowned upon if they don’t get married. Blacks see single parents on an everyday basis so it is natural.

    • Michael Lee Washington

      Why do I know so many unhappy white women if white men are so great?
      Outstanding point. I mean the divorce rate is 50 percent across the country not just black couples

    • Pharoahs


  • Sexylady

    Before I exit, I do wish to say, ignore demeaning and ignorant comments disguised as response to your article, as some people really are Idiotic

  • Sexylady

    I love your article; everything you said is both true and factual. 

    • Michael Lee Washington

      If you believe everything she said about black men is true then I truely feel sorry for you. FYI…I’m a non married single black guy who happens to be a computer network engineer with no kids. Kinda destroys that premise but please continue to make a fool of yourself…it’s revealing.

      • quashi

        You are the one making a fool of yourself. You are not that special because you think you have a worthwhile occupation. Try as you might, you can never change the mentality of those you defend nor can you change their history. Trying to change the image of people who observe this is needless to say futile….sorry!

      • Uchenna101

        He does destroy the premise. There is no one size fit all description of all black men. Sure, you can find this similarities in men who grew up in a certain background – regardless of race- but the more you go up in education and other aspects of life, you stop finding these stereotypes being so common.

      • CaramelBeauty

        You are one of few that has no children and a job that doesn’t involve doing something illegal. You are the type of guy that I want to marry.

  • Rici

    Complete racism and fabrication.  Coming from a African-American Female who has obiously had her share of heartache with a few bad apples, its immature to judge a race by past bad seeds.  Maybe teh author has some skeletons of her own to hide, as she promply states “White man will make a HO a housewife”…Hmmmm… In my experience, ANY MAN will bed a HO, but NO MAN, regardless of color, will want to marry one.  Reap what you sow, author, your predjudices are long outdated.

    • Maryluciois7272

      But your whining. She didnt say black men were ugly and what not. Just because this article didn’t stroke your huge ego doesn’t make it racist. You sound delusional and butthurt. Come back when you learn about reality and not in Disneyworld. Kthnxbye :)

      • Breadhead

        How is he whining?  He simply pointed out that her views are racist since the make sweeping generalizations about the entire male population of an entire race.  The author does not say some “some black men” or even “many” she simply says “black men are” this or that.  This article is disgusting and shameful.  
        I wont deny that alot of the issues see brings up concerning black men are real, but they do not apply to all black men or even most.  Nor does he praise of white men apply to all of them.  There are plenty of white dead-beat, abusive dads.  Plenty that are bad with money, plenty that get into marriages to hide their homosexual activities.This author is obviously speaking from a place of bitterness and resentment over her own bad choices and experiences in the past with black men SHE let into her life.
        And has only provided more ammunition for racists to hold fast to their irrational beliefs.

        Blacks just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves when they let the pain of living in a racist society cause them to turn on their own.  Yes many blacks struggle with building loving relationships due to the scars of our tortured history.  That’s both black men and women.

        Interracial relationships are not wrong.  But the probably we face in this society is that we have not truly dealt with the scars and wounds from slavery and jim crow.  meaning Both races are still at silent war with each other.  This results in many blacks(being the minority) often adopting the attitudes and prejudices of the white circles the socialize in.  Being accepted as one of the “good” negroes usually means openly rejected your own.

        • Turkehunter

          Unless you are 200 years old you do not know the meaning of “tortured”. Quit using the past to hide your shortcomings.

          • Chuckfertea

            And you do !

        • Tyrone Mahem

          Look at famous brothas. How many chase white women?
          Look at famous sistas. How many hook up with white dudes?

          • Julia

            Good point.

            I’m from outside of the US; things always look different from outside. I understand this article as saying “it’s okay to date a white man”.

            Yes of bloody course it is!

            How okay does the sentence “a white woman who dates someone afro-american is a class-traitor” sound? How can it make any more sense the other way round? It’s the 21st century. Why is that still an issue? How can anyone draw a clear black/white dividing line when a lot of afro-americans have a couple european ancestors mixed in, and vice versa? And what’s the point of it?

            Also, because I’m a glutton for punishment: Of course 200 years if slavery and racism have left all sorts of fears, insecurities and prejudices on both sides. How is that going to get better when everyone stays on their own side of this imaginary line? If you life with someone with a different set of ideas, you’ll clash sometimes, but you’ll think and hopefully learn. Everybody staying with their own crowd (and throwing stones at anyone who doesn’t) looks like a good way to keep things as they are.

            You see some guy / girl who is just right for you and you feel great with them and they like you back? Go for it. In the last hundred years, it took a lot of courage from a lot of people to get to the point where there aren’t legal restrictions on whom you can marry. Please, don’t waste what those people did and what they had to go through.

          • Arf

            My goodness…how old are you. Go to one of them childish rap sites or something.

            • Tyrone Mahem


          • chan

            They have the slavery mentality, to the masta…lol

        • UltraEnlightened

          “Blacks just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves when they let the pain of living in a racist society cause them to turn on their own. ” The way I see it is blacks just keep digging a deeper and deeper hole for themselves when they don’t hold accountable those of their own race and blame it on a white racist society. Blacks even turned on Bill Cosby when he said you have to hold your own accountable. You don’t. If you are Black then the majority of blacks will support you and et you get away with anything. Those few that don’t are called Uncle Toms and Republican.

          • PiquedInterest

            That interesting, I hear that a lot. On websites, and the media but not once have I heard a black person blame white society for there short comings. Actually it is the opposite, I have heard them say they should have worked harder in school. Or they should have taken their job more seriously. And the only thing that is digging us deeper and deeper, is all this crap social media. (which I have to admit I have to reduce the amount I read). I am sure everyone is tired of hearing what they are not doing, when in fact they are. Or the fact that a small % of the community is not doing right or their best, and it is trickled down to the rest. and Dam it, Date who you want.

        • patrickc

          I couldn’t have said it better myself! The author may not necessarily be holding bitterness or resentment but her facts are based on what she perhaps grew up seeing all her life. In a ‘default’ state of mind – a mind which is ‘fed’ by society – it can easily regurgitate and by extension govern the thoughts and actions of the individual.

          Unfortunately, the greater number of African-Americans, including the author, grow up with very low self-esteem and this was no fault of their own. I mean, lets be honest about it, everywhere we look we see nothing but whiteness. God’s white; Jesus’ white (but now ‘we’ know differently-I hope); Angels white, Apostles white, Moses white and on and on…then you see them owning ‘all’ the corporations and generally enjoying a ‘better’ life than most blacks and we all know there’s a reason for that! Then we see ‘beautiful’ and ‘handsome’ as white with blond hair/blue eyes. Now, we see clearer why blacks have a tendency hate their hair, their noses, lips and on and on…

          But the very happy (not sad) truth is that these white people ARE NOT anymore smart or intelligent than the next person. Worst, is that if you google ‘The most evil persons in history’ the list shows…..wait for it………..ALL WHITE PEOPLE. Please, I’m not trying to offend anyone and I don’t have time for this racism horse-s*@# which only serves to separate people and create divisions but this ‘superior’ default state of mind only perpetuates the curse most whites have about themselves.

        • William Stenberg

          Now YOU’RE whining

    • Alexreese1

      Amen my sister.

    • Ama

      I’ve never dated a white male and I know that is why I am still single. I’ve turned down offers my sister friends have actually thought I was crazy to simply because I really do care deeply about the plight of black people – who seem to be self exterminating their skin colour. I am black & proud and I want the same for my offspring -but black men are a tragic conundrum to me. The sooner we deal with this as a community & face the truth – THE BETTER we can deal with it. Fortunately I have black male friends who are truthful about the situation. White men will indeed marry a “hoe” simply because they are not afraid to look deeper or to help/ better a troubled woman. I’VE WITNESSED IT. They have the capacity to empathise better and actually feel pity. However black males will run a mile from a women with even the minutest of problems including those beyond her control or those caused by the male himself!. They’ll go so far as to add more stress/ create more problems. I didn’t want to be a baby mother which is why I don’t have children, and black males hate getting married. No marriage – no children as far as I’m concerned. I just wasn’t prepared to do that to a child. They don’t need unecessary drama. This world is tough enough. When I say I’d rather adopt and the things that come out of black males mouths about adoption is shameful. Considering how many of their peers breed and abandon our children. It’s just criminal for them even to utter “how can you want to raise children that aren’t yours”? I respond how can you – THE BLACK MAN – abandon children that ARE YOURS? That’s exactly why so many need adopting in the first place! Instead they collect baby mothers!. I’m past trying to figure the many problems black males display. From light-skin-long-flowing-hair complex to fear-of-strong-women- capable-of-raising-strong-children complex. How a man can disrespect the image & representation of his mother is really ugly & unsettling to me. That’s self hate taken to another level entirely. Black males are always trying to compete with the white male. His house, his car, his job, his money, his clothes, his woman. I really wish they’d attempt to outdo the white male on self love & family values. That’s something of real worth competing for.

      • Navigator

        I am so pleased that someone else sees the problem for what it is. This is a deep rooted issue that has a strangle hold on our community and it needs to be addressed ASAP before they truly breed us out of existence. Self-hate is exactly what it is. I have brothers and have done my own little survey among their friends and other family members and they openly admit that they are not attracted to Black women and find their strength to be intimidating. With reference to the baby mama issue, I find that to be associated with men’s socio-economic situations and education more often than not.

        • White Chocolate

          I’m a white male,56, grew up with diversity. I agree with the above comment knowing how strong a blackwoman can be. The matriarch of the family, the glue, she raises her children, male & female to be a contenders in today’s world. This is why you have sucessful black children growing up to be competative in the work force. That is what is attracting whitewomen to blackmen. It’s ashame some brothers dont want this same strength to rear their own children. My hat is off to the loving & strong blackmother. And yes this cracker has some very good blackfriends. Its all about the inner beauty, because if you dont have that ur just ugly all over.

          • wake up

            There are plenty other races that do the same thing as Black Men . I am a white male and I see this all the time in white men. I would like to say we all have, ten fingers , ten toes, two eyes, two arms, two legs, one mouth , red blood.well you get the picture. we are all human and struggle with the same things at some point in our life.

          • NigerianQueen

            God bless your beautiful soul. Lol

        • ASH

          ” before they truly breed us out of existence”
          Who are “they” and who are (you) “us”?
          Unless “you” are “African” black, you have been bred out of existence. Over 90% of “black” people in America are just that…black, not African. Unless your skin is as dark as the night sky your ancestors have “bred” with a person of Anglo-Saxon decent. So whatever it is you are afraid of losing when “they” breed you out of existence has already happened to you.

          • Uchenna101

            okay, I wish I could educate everyone, not just you. I am African, and I am light skinned. We have various skin colors even within the black community. I don’t believe I am mixed as I can trace my lineage up to 4 generations, and they all looked bonafide black. So stop with the assumption that if you aren’t dark as the night, then you must have been bred with an Anglo-Saxon person. Google tribes in Nigeria, such as Igbo, Yoruba, or Benin — these are the ones I am familiar with from my country that aren’t known to have roots outside Subsaharan Africa — and you would see various colors. Now, tell me they were bred; contact with an Anglo-Saxon in the past was so rare in the colonial era that the colonizers dealt solely with the chiefs and hardly interacted with the natives. Please educate yourself. I hope you do and stop spreading a misconception.

            Black people aren’t truly “black.” It’s just a term. Most black people are various shades of brown – whether dark brown up to light brown. So please being light brown or any shade in between does not mean inbreeding with any other race. We have our own uniqueness.

            • Eric Bowens

              Didn’t hear any sisters debunk this the way they do bm and ww. Even for ignorant reasons it still seems ok. Because positive racism is as good as positive elitism, positive rape or positive child molestation. Point is quite kissing up with positive racism. Not saying brothas aren’t wrong at times. But we don’t tend to try to make any other women like us, they just do. Also truth time 1) yeah more brothers are interracially dating more then sistas but its not because they are sellouts its because we don’t try as hard and want less unnecessary drama, over 70% of sistas aren’t married just because of us, lets be clear. 2) Brothas I’ve talked to who don’t date black women its been the attitude they have all been very sexually atracted to black women. Attitude isn’t always strength. But…… To be fair to sistas, bros should stop messin fat ugly white girls because they are white. She is a women not a commodity like damn pair of Jordans. If you wouldn’t dat a big black women then what the hell are you doing, racist idiot? Same goes for other women fellas. Its time for both of us as men and women to do better. Black folks need to learn when and how to attack certain issies and when not to.

              • SheDevilsRule

                Who want’s to put up with a head waggin, bad attitute, man hatin female when we can date outside our race and not have to deal with that shyt? I don’t act like the “steriotypical” black female, but choose to date white men anyway because they seem to have more goals for their future and “most” white men, not all, do not idolize the way ppl in the hood dress talk & act like some brothers do. White men over all are gentlemen in EVERY sense of the word. MIND YOU I AM NOT SAYING ALL !!

                • Beauty In Truth

                  Oh snaps! I thought they said you got shot by a white cop on “traitor avenue!”

                  “Gurl, we thought we lost you. Like you was really bought to be Trayvonned! Crazy!!!!”

                  You will be next. And I will spit on your grave.

                  Sterirdhipical is not a word airhead.

              • Beauty In Truth

                You disgusting pig! You should be beat upside your head! Yes we (including your loving gf) are all baboons uneducated and unclassy who should be avoided @ all costs! Sick you are! WW have the WORST attitudes becausese they feel their white skin justifies their itchy behavior. And you bm soak it up all for the chance @ some pink herpes vages!

                F that and F you and your uncle tom black friends!

            • badphairy

              Yes, Africans come in all shades, but no, actually most Americans don’t know that. Very few Americans ever go to Africa, so how would they know?

          • Alice

            Huh?! African people already vary in colors. Are you familiar with human evolution and how environment, food, etc, play a role? Are you?

        • SheDevilsRule

          We will never be bred out of existence. #1- we have too many babies.
          #2- The dominant gene is darker, so if anything white skin will be bred out of existence. I am amazed at how many people agreed with you. Read some book’s people…damn @ stupidity.

      • phm1

        You ain’t NEVER LIED!!!

      • Arf

        WoW!…that just hit the nail on the head.

      • Tyrone Mahem

        Hey, Tiger Woods thinks a sista ain’t good enough for him.

        • SheDevilsRule

          Tiger Woods is mixed nimrod.

      • Ranata Denise

        YES!!! I too don’t have kids unless I get married. I will NOT be a baby mother. You said that. I loved this comment! I wish I could like it 8 more times!

        • Rainey Jenkins

          Just don’t wait too long. I am 49 and I passed on the drinker, the pothead, the smoker, the thug, the one that said have my baby 1st then maybe we can talk about marriage, unemployed, divorced, abuser, the non Christian, the ones with baby mamas and now I’m seriously thinking of dating any good man no matter the race that can handle a woman who was only hurt by her father and is no longer angry (he has been forgiven)but still needs a little help letting a man take care of me. Those men were black that I passed over because I will not let any man disrespect me. So if he’s white, Hispanic, Asian or after all the others maybe lastly a really together black man I will consider him. But the black men I have met over the years are too much work.

          • SheDevilsRule

            So what you waitin on? Girl go try you a white dude..you just might be surprised & wonder why the hell you waited so long?

            • Rainey Jenkins

              Right now I am not sure I wanna date any man no matter the race. Just getting out of a long term relationship that wasn’t moving toward marriage. We tired but it just didn’t work. He is a good guy if you wanna shack up for the rest of your life. That might work for some people but that is not me.

              • SheDevilsRule

                You probably need to do you for a few. I was married a LONG time. I am one and done. I have been so happy being single it’s amazing. I wish I would have kicked that fool to the curb sooner then I did. I was engaged once since then but as I was older and much wiser I saw red flag’s. I haven’t dated since and I am not lonely one single bit. I don’t miss the BS. I am free to do as I please when I please & don’t have to hear shyt. Good luck in your future.

      • Jermaine Simpkins

        Looking deeper into this situation, its not all black men so dont generalize. Their are issues in the community that definatly need fixing but if you think for on second that white men are lining up to date black women, forget about it. Black women have serious issues too. Self respect, digninty and just being happy with who they are. Too busy trying to be a white themselves with all the weaves in their hair. Why do Black women try and copy white women features and expect everyone to adhere and marry them. black women sexualize themselves more than white women as well. Come on Sistas, yall got some fixin to do also.

        • Alice

          *cough* You’re generalizing *cough*

          • Jermaine Simpkins

            sucks doesnt it

            • SheDevilsRule


        • Natural_Princess77

          Black women “try to be white” to the appeal to them who choose white women over them. As far as sexualization of black women….I won’t argue too much about that one but, I will say that the hip hop industry certainly didn’t help with that at all.

          • Jermaine Simpkins

            I like my women natural.

      • zach jones

        Not all black men are that way. We as black men and women need to stop downing each other and work together

      • lalove

        I have date tons of black women and they have cheated,lied,stolen. I’ve tried over and over to date black women. I”m not afraid and educate,smart,or strong. The ones I’ve met a lazy,what you to pay their rent,and GIVE them money when they want it.

      • UltraEnlightened

        Until skin color is no different than hair or eye color, we will always have racial problems. I’m sorry Ama but you are just as much the problem as anyone. Get over your black pride and be a proud human. The vast majority of white people only want to get along. Stop pushing your color as something to be proud of. Why are you prideful of that? You survived slavery? Uh no. You come from a part of humanity that was in a hot climate and thus your melanin is greater. You are still human just with a pre-tan. Of course I wouldn’t understand. I just want skin color as a negative to go away, and as long as you and others like you push it as something to be proud of it won’t. It’s just a skin color. Oh, I am not white. There are no white people except albinos.

        • CaramelBeauty

          I am prideful of my heritage and the struggle that they have been through. We got through the segregation but I don’t like the way black males are treating their sisters and getting every female pregnant. I made the decision that I would not have a child until I could financially support them. I am not going to put out to be noticed by my body, but my intelligence. I am black and I would not change my race for all of the money in the world. I do think that white males are cute but I would always choose a black male. But I will not stand for the disrespect that the black males put on women. I have never dated white men so I don’t know how they respond. But in the news its always a black male that has children from different women and has not been married once. I refuse to be used and a baby momma. I want to be proud of my race but everyday there is always another story being said about blacks killing blacks. Now I was raised in a black family and have been going to a black church. I just want to make something of myself that makes me proud and if that means not acting ghetto when I have an issue with someone then so be it. I will not be seen as a stereotypical black female that is pregnant by 16 and living off a man. I want my race to be seen as smart and mature. Like I said being black is wonderful but I hate the way that people see us and place us in a corner.

      • Beauty In Truth

        Odeed Agreed! I would die single before I ever couple up with a white man! Never!!! From the core of my hard candy caramel soul!..

        Have you seen the discussion on Michael Brown recently?! Our country IS SICK!

    • NIna

      I agree with the author. Due to the strong religious influence in the black community. If you sleep with a black man too soon he will mentally portray you as a ho and even if he does marry you he will always remind you that you slept him on the first night. It is imperative that you have a 90 day rule with black men (Steve Harvey’s rule). You can sleep with a white man on the first night and if he loves you he will marry you regardless and never throw it back in your face. This is a cultural difference rather than a prejudice. I can definitely attest to this. I absolutely loooove this article.

      • Just Sad

        I do not usually leave comments but felt compelled to do so after reading this article. WOW!!! What a bunch of downgrading stereotypical put downs to attach to Black men. It seems very sad that this is your apparent general view of the Brothers. I am personally offended. You know I could very well retort with a bunch of stereotypical generalizations the other way, but my intelligence just will not let me go there.
        P.S. Please!!! Did you really use Steve Harvey to justify your point??????? LMAO!!!!!!!!

        • quashi

          Maybe you can’t respond because you got nothing! The author has hit the nail on the head as so obvious in the poor black communities. There is a vicious cycle and it is all based on their mentality. Not much to future going with one of these unstable, insecure, hypersensitive, broke, super egotistic, ignorant and illiterate idiots.

          • Michael Lee Washington

            He didn’t respond you idiot because it would be beneath him. I’m sure that is way over your head. Educated and smart black men aren’t going to detail how many ways this is offensive. It’s not worth it. If you can’t see it…you never will

            • quashi

              Bet you are one of the biggest loser in your community…prove us wrong…pftt!! He doth protest too much. No matter what little spasm you little body experiences on account of this very realistic argument given, the facts are the facts. There are those who might be outliers in this scenario but very few…deal with it. Now shoo….

              • Michael Lee Washington

                I would try to educate you on how you can’t prove a negative but that would be a waste of time as you obviously have no brain. You think that because a black man would protest at being stereotyped that I “protest too much”…No you idiot…it’s called having self respect. You should google that…find out what that means

                • quashi

                  Can’t educate someone who is more educated successful and more traveled than you are. Blah…blah…blah. Just get over it. You are the worst of the worst…not just my opinion. Get back to me when you are able to prove the world wrong. Why don’t you go educate your homies…hmm. Just try loser…get a life.

                  • Jermaine Simpkins

                    You are uneducated in culture and social dynamics. Poverty of the black community is directly related to previous racism and the result of slavery, yes, even after all these years. We dont have family houses and businesses passed down from one generation to the next. when you see poverty, no matter what race, you will see these type of things but since White men generally grow up with more, they are less inclined to flee from responsibility.

                    • SheDevilsRule

                      That’s a copout if I ever heard one. There are PLENTY of stories of white men who started selling newspapers around their neighborhood & ended up being very succesful. It’s called ambition & wanting to do better & have better. They don’t boo hoo themselves & go smoke a blunte & just give up. Yeah they get high too, (before ya’ll jump on that sentence)

                • SheDevilsRule

                  Blah,Blah,Blad. You are SOOO educated & above all this yet you choose to comment here MORE then once.

              • Jermaine Simpkins

                seems you a forgetting poverty factors that set different dynamics inside poor communities. Poor communities are a result from past racism. Values take a dive when poverty levels are high. In othere words, White people would have the same plight in these categories if they were as poor.

                • Tony

                  That is proven by the wild west. When white people as a whole had to live the black experience and were disenfranchised from the country you had a wide open ghetto they called the wild west. They had gunfights in the open and the baddest dude took over the town. They say the USA was a dope addicts paradise. All drugs were legal in this country unti;l 1930’s

                  • SheDevilsRule

                    True and yet they as a people didn’t let that hold them down. What the hell was your point?? LMAOOOO

            • CaramelBeauty

              If he doesn’t like what is being said then he should talk to his friends and tell them to man up and be a father because there are a lot of black men that do this and never become fully mature

        • Uchenna101

          This is what they want: black women and men fighting. I used to fall into this trap as a child, but now I’ve learned. I love my black brothers because they go through similar struggles that I face and I won’t be an instrument in putting my race down. That’s one of the biggest mistakes we’ve made in history. But it hurts when our brothers do it to us ’cause if they don’t stand up for us who will. (I guess we could just stand up for ourselves, but you get the drill.)

          • CaramelBeauty

            I also love black men and would always choose a black man because it is what I know and I find black men attractive whether they are rich or not. I just want the black male that fits these traits to man up and become responsible

        • SheDevilsRule

          Not to justify it, but to show an example. Your intelligence wont let you go there? NEGRO PLEASE !! You just did by commenting here.

      • Ensign

        “You can sleep with a white man on the first night and if he loves you
        he will marry you regardless and never throw it back in your face.”


        • ToddChoris

          I’m a white guy and that is 100% true. 100%. My black guy friends are always very childish and backward about sex.

          • ChanChan

            Oh look, another egotistical white man who thinks he know something. Little boy, shut up. You act like your race is so perfect; don’t make me laugh. Yes, there are so issues with black men, but there’s a lot wrong with white men also. Especially you. What’s wrong with being a little suspicious about someone who’s a little loose? They have the right to be doubtful. And if white men are really willing to try to transform a hoe into a housewife, then that makes white men dumber than I thought.

            • insufferable_know_it_all

              And why is it ok for a man to sleep around on the first date. Why the hell are you even asking for it if you’re going to be such an ungrateful little snit the morning after. You guys like to whine and beg until you get your way and then if you get lucky, you’re still not happy. I think the guys with this attitude should all f*** each other and leave the women alone.

              • SheDevilsRule

                LMAO…Thats the best solution I have EVER heard. ( last sentence) Wish I could thumbs up this 10.000 times..LOL

            • SheDevilsRule

              Doesn’t make them dumber. It show’s they have an open heart and are more accepting & loving. There ARE different level’s of ho’s don’t forget. Some consider stripper’s as ho’s. It’s a job and a legal one.

              • dialogue1

                I have been wanting to say that white people seem more accepting of certain things and this article gives me a chance to do so. I see how a white man or woman is more likely to marry a disabled person than how a black person would. I’ve seen so many cases of able-bodied white people marrying a disabled person or someone with a serious disorder. Based on my observations, they do look past certain things more than we do.

                • SheDevilsRule

                  It’s just the way it is. I see WAY too many single momma BW with expensive weave’s & name brand clothes & bag’s Wearing all kinda gold, come into a food bank I volunteer at & their kid’s as raggedy as a flealock. Their priorities are really messed up. That’s the only race that come’s in there like that. All other race’s the kid’s are dressed betten then the mom (kid’s clothes are less expensive) We need to teach our children it aint all about the bling. The kid’s should come first ALWAYS.

          • CaramelBeauty

            I don’t know about that because I have never dated a white male but black guys talk about a female not being “loyal” yet you sleep around with a female even though you have someone that loves you beyond your faults. A female becomes a hoe because that is the only way she will get your attention. Black males don’t go for the female that is smart and loves herself, they go for the one that will put out and give them what they want.

        • Michael Lee Washington

          Yeah I laughed when I read that part to. Must be falling for the game…

    • Audrey Yarper

      I’m a white woman and I agree this sounded totally racist. Every single thing she said about black men, I have know in white men, unfortunately some of whom I’ve dated. I’ve never dated a black man because I live in an area where there aren’t many, but I married an Asian and have dated an Indian and they are both a lot nicer then most of the white men I’ve dated.

      • Tyrone Mahem

        It sounds like you’re not selective enough.

      • Kimmy

        Sounds like men adore what’s different from them, this is especially so with American men.

      • quashi

        So you haven’t been with a brotha
        Why are you then contradicting the author? Jackass!

        • Audrey Yarper

          I have had very little opportunity to date a black man, I live in the rocky mountains, Mexicans, not blacks are the predominant minority group. I did have a big crush on a very nice Sudanese man, but that didn’t work out because his brother liked me. I didn’t date either of them because I didn’t want drama. Otherwise I would have totally dated him. Before I was married, I would date anyone who I liked regardless of race. Actually my first crush in the 6th grade was a black boy. He liked me too, but I was very shy and didn’t date anyone until after high school.

          • quashi

            So case in point, you have not dated a brotha…again it begs the question…oh never mind…you are a complete waste of time here!!

            • Audrey Yarper

              All I’m trying to say is that racism is not cool and that there are good and bad men in every race. No I haven’t dated a black man but I have know amazing men who were also black and I have seen women both black and white have happy, stable marriages with black men. It’s funny that, such a view would be attacked on a black women’s web site.

              • quashi

                Lesson is, don’t contradict what you have no first hand knowledge of, stop trying to appease people based on what you think they want to hear, then cry victim when someone try to set you straight. It’s annoying!

              • Christina K

                Don’t argue with a moron, Audrey.

              • wak up

                Yes men like DR Ben Carson. He is one of my heros

            • Janez10

              Why would she date a brotha? She would have dated a man. You are the jackass.

      • Lidia Members

        Oh Please! A white woman who married an Asian but reads a blog about black affairs lol? Who do you think you are kidding? You are either a hard headed black woman defending men who don’t care about you or an angry negro who can’t stand the fact the beautiful educated sisters are moving on without your trifling a**!

        We all know that no women on earth worship the well endowed (black) men more than white women, so why on earth would you marry an Asian? I’ve never seen such a couple in my life (WW,AM) and I live in the diverse city of New York! It’s time for black women to find love where ever they can because if they keep waiting for black men who will NEVER love them they will die without ever knowing what a real man’s love and affection is.

        After being with my fiance for one short year (the time really flew), I realized that none of my black exes ever loved me at all. He is truly my first love and now I know what real men do for the women they are deeply committed to. The only thing negros are good for is sex and that is such a sad fact. You sister better wake up. Black men are trashing you all over the net making fun of your weaves etc… and my baby actually helps me to twist my locks (he begged me to go natural because he loves me to the bone). WHen I went natural the firt person to make fun of my kinky hair was a negro! God is so good I love by vanilla bar!

        • Michael Lee Washington

          Really…so your new guys game is so strong he has you turning your back on all of the black men who you’ve dated your entire life…..nice. When that non black guy leaves you…don’t come back to us…

          • quashi

            Psst…she’s moved on…nothing back there to have and to hold…

          • CaramelBeauty

            I don’t disown her for meeting a male that loves her because that is what we all want is to be married to the one that they love. But yes, putting all black males in the rain is wrong. I had a bad relationship with a black male and he left me for a white girl but I am still on the lookout for a future black husband. It’s not that I don’t like white males and I think mixed babies are the cutest, but I just want a baby that reflects me and that our culture will still strive.

        • Audrey Yarper

          Ok. I have to say I got a good laugh after reading this. I have never in my life been called an “angry negro”. To clairify, I happened upon this article because I was writing a paper on racism, for a cultural competency class. I was surprised when I found this article, because it seems like self-racism. I understand that maybe there are some issues with the American black man due to the scars and ripples of slavery and the continuation of racism in this country, which is not very good for encouraging commitment. However, men are men. Before I was married I dated a white man, who had been voted citizen of the year in his city. He was wealthy and respectable and appeared to be a great person. However, he turned out to be very, very abusive and even stalked me for years after I left him. I was actually afraid for my life. I think white men are better at putting up that facade of respectability, but much of the time it’s just a that, a facade. I do believe that there are good men and bad men in every single race.

          On a side note, yes I am married to an Asian. Despite popular myth, there’s very little difference in male anatomy between the races.

          I’m glad you’ve found love and kindness with a man, regardless of his race.

      • Jimmy Smith

        A lot of Indians have black blood in them, especially the ones in the south, and blacks and Indians have shared a 40,000 migration history together, plus a lot of white women travel to southern India like Goa to experience the 12 inch Australoid Dravidian black men there so yeah Indians are just like us black folks, the Indians in America are the racist northern Indians that put down the southern ones, because their women love south Indian men like white women do, just like white men used to put us black men down, go to Google and type in 12 inch Shudra Dravidian you know what if you don’t believe me.

      • SheDevilsRule

        So you saying to date just any ole body..lol That aint gonna work “hun”

    • Ray

      Right- I knew EXACTLY the type of girl this was when she said a white man would turn a ho to a house-wife smh…

      • Nissa

        And this is exactly what she’s talking about, black men are too judgmental. “Maybe” she was a ho but who cares? It’s in the past.

        • Ray

          ok- say “the past is the past”, when u date a man whom you discovered has raped 30 women, and killed 6.
          Sorry, but when a woman asks a man to deal with some of the outrageous ghetto scenery these black women turn up with, you cant say “the past is the past”; she got 6 kids and 8 baby dads, would “the past STILL be the past”?

          • Nissa

            you’re right, good point. I guess it all comes down to which parts of the past an individual is willing to deal with.

          • kina

            I think anyone with half a brain knows she wasn’t talking about murder, rape, or even numerous kids. If you had read the paragraph, she was referring to dating friends exes, etc. So You took that completely
            out of context. She was referring to being sexually promiscuous and open.
            And this is so true. Most black men are closed off sexually unless its dealing
            with getting head and smashing big butts (probably why so many are down lo lol)
            and as soon as a girl he was dating or as youll say “talking to,” admits or he
            finds out she was sexually promiscuous in the past with his “boy” or someone he
            knows, he cant “WIFE” her. And she will be labeled a hoe. Generally, white men will
            still move forward with the new relationship.
            THAT is what she is referring to.

          • Kimmy

            And here you go presenting the more extreme cases. It is 2013 and society has evolved enough to not judge people for their past. However, many are still judgmental, a trait found mostly in the religious.

          • QuestionsBeforeActions

            How does RAPING and KILLING anyone relate to consensual sex? In any way at all??? Really, I’m wondering.

            • Tt

              Well there worst than c sex but being a ho is still bad.

              • CaramelBeauty

                Being a hoe is disrespectful to one’s self, but when all the men you have dated have played you for a fool sometimes just having sex is the best medicine and you don’t have to deal with the drama of having a relationship. I don’t condone being a hoe but one has to look at the circumstances that lead to this predicament.

            • badphairy

              It doesn’t. It’s called a terrible analogy wrapped in an appeal to emotion.
              Which brings up another problem related to education.When you do marry a brotha who hasn’t gone to school, who do you talk to about work at night? IME he is threatened by the female’s earning power and takes that as a threat to his masculinity, which doesn’t tend to make him an empathic and patient listener.

      • ToddChoris

        ^judgemental, double-standard-having black man proves her point. Y’all love referring to your own women as hoes, but what is anyone of those Kardashian sisters though. LOL

    • Tyrone Mahem

      My sister(daughter of my mother) says black women show a loyalty to black men that we don’t show them in return. Watching our people over the past 20 years, I can’t argue with her.

    • TME

      Sorry, but she is right. I am a black woman, and I want to marry a black man, but it has been hard to find one that doesn’t fit into a lot of those stereotypes that she has listed about back men. It may hurt, it may sound racist, but its the truth. I have always said that I would like a black man, that acts like a white man.

      • nelly

        its funny that u say that knowing there are two sides to this arguement

      • CaramelBeauty

        I want a black man that has responsibilities and deals with his problems in a mature manner. However I do tend to go for the black men that are confident and have a little thug in them. I want to be able to go to bed and know that if someone broke in then he would be brave enough and smart enough to handle the situation because that is one thing that I can not do myself and I know that I cant

    • Franciska Eseenam Bonin

      What about ” Pretty Woman ” ? !!! Ah ah ah !

    • Caydence James

      Uhm…..I’ve seen a few men wife a ho…….and none of them were black. As a matter of fact, when it came down to being a ho, it was usually the black guy that couldn’t keep his zipper up. *shrug* just sayin’. Not going by what I wish were the case (as you seem to be doing) but by reality. But then again, maybe reality is subjective.

    • Caydence James

      Actually I’ve seen a few men marry white women who, had they been black, wouldn’t have looked at them twice except to call them a ho for their behavior. We also have numerous examples with celebrities who do the same thing (Can you say Kanye?) so your “ANY MAN will bed a HO, but NO MAN, regardless of color, will want to marry one” theory is wishful thinking because it happens all the time…..and right in front of our noses.

    • SheDevilsRule

      It’s not fabricated, she stated fact’s. Statistics prove what she stated. Of course there is always are example’s to the rule’s, but overall it’s just a fact.

    • badkitty

      @ rici, no man will wnt to marry a HO-really, have u seen Kim n Kanye?

    • Renata Barnes

      Yea, ummm…Kim Kardashian, Kendra Wilkinson, Coco T,…and those are just the “famous” ones. I didn’t get the hurt past tip from the author that you did…sounds like there is something else going on with the commenter.

    • Chaston

      I completely agree with you. However, on a few of these things, it is based on raw fact and numbers, and not merely opinion. The percentage of fatherless black households, the percentage of black women going to college vs. black men drop outs (though this is a trend among all races regarding gender), the percentage that get married as opposed to just sleeping with their partner…. but again, not to disregard the massive generalizations she made. Just suggesting that it’s not all made up.

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