When Keeping It Swirl Goes Wrong: Why Are Black People Obsessed With Interracial Dating?

September 5th, 2012 - By Charing Ball

Source: blackenize-romance.com

Why are black folks so infatuated with interracial dating?
It sounds like a blanket statement. Of course, all black folks aren’t obsessed with interracial dating. However, it seems like almost daily I come across a news post, and columns in magazines and blogs dedicated to black folks, speaking about the glory of dating outside of the black community.  They ask stupid questions like Are Black Women Better off with White Men? and write guidebooks about snagging a white man (including the helpful tip of how to order wine the “white” way).  And if they are not expounding on your personal choice on whom you date, than they are highlighting all the wonderful interracial couples in Hollywood. There are swirling sites run by black men and women and even a forthcoming coming film, which hopes to appeal to the “Rainbeau” dater in all of us.

So yeah, excuse me if I generalize by saying that nobody talks more about interracial dating than black folks. I mean, you just don’t see the topic broached in mainstream magazines like GQ or Vogue. You don’t see white therapists or white relationship experts or other white folks with alphabets behind their names and a platform, spouting the virtues of dating black men and women.  Let’s face it: when it comes to reporting about “Jungle Fever,” this virus is only at epidemic proportions in the African American press.
But while the topic has no doubt been beaten to death by the black media there are still no shortages of articles directed towards interracial relationships. So obviously these stories are very popular, which is why these publications continue to put them out. After all, stories mean page clicks, and page clicks equates to dollars. And if there are folks willing to read it, than you can place the blame solely on black media for continuing to cater to their audience.

Which leads me to ask: If the color of the person we choose to date doesn’t matter, why do we talk about it so much?
Here is the standard disclaimer: I don’t have a problem with two folks of different races – or same gender for that matter – hooking up.  Some people really do date outside of their race out of love and not some underlying motive. Okay, now that that’s out of the way; it’s the other would-be Rainbeau daters, who bother the hell out of me. These folks are the ones that go around touting anything but black as proof positive of equality, social advancement and worse, the magic solution to cure all problems within the black community. Unemployment rate is high? Get a white girl. Violence plaguing the community? You know what could solve that? Dating a white man. Can’t find your car keys? Girl, get yourself a white boy. They never lose their keys!

Let’s face it, no matter how far we think we have come in this society, as a race, too many of us are still looking, waiting and idolizing the white savior.

Yet science says that some of the same problems we find within the community can also be found interracially: In fact, the rate of divorce and domestic violence is much higher within interracial relationships and the incidence of spousal homicide is 7.7 higher in interracial relationships than in monoracial relationships. So much for thinking that the milk is less spoiled on the other side.

Truth is, championing dating interracially to empower the black community, particularly black women, is no more logical or rational than the colorblind racists, who believe that breeding ourselves into one in-between race will fix the world (yeah, like that worked for the Chinese and the Japanese). How we empower our people is by teaching self-love and by erasing those mental chains that tell us that “we” are inherently bad. We heal the world by recognizing cultural differences, and yes skin tone, and by ensuring that our differences do not lead to inequality. That is how we live interracially.

However, if you are using love and sex as some sort of political statement, position for advancement or weapon of revenge and conquest, than you are no better, and odds are, you’re more part of the problem than you think.

 

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  • Bold

    Add on…just recently I saw a topic titled “are you obsessed with black people” blacks are the most sought after, most talked about, most envied, most despised, most looked at, race on the earth. Yes people are obsessed with blacks. Doesn’t matter whether something good is said, or something bad, blacks are most white peoples main topic. Everything is done to make blacks hate themselves, by now you would think people would stop trying, but no, and some even think they have succeeded. They seem to not understand, or can’t relate to the fact that having color to your skin is awsome! without blacks, white people would be so…..bored. Jesus was hated too. Speaking of which, even he had dark skin, and the same people who hate blacks, changed his features and lightened his skin. See, the truth is whites haven’t accepted themselves, and that is why they cannot accept blacks. They actually hate themselves, but to passify themselves, they take it out on blacks because blacks are the ones who constantly remind white people of their paleness. Its not that blacks do this deliberately, its just that colorful skin they have, does all the talking for them. If you don’t believe most blacks love who they are, observe how proud they look. The ones who may not be proud, are the ones who associate white skin with money. (no offense to anyone).

  • Bold

    Its not that black people like interracial dating, its the reverse psychology that the media use to divide the black woman and man. Tell it like it is, there are still many black men who absolutely love their black women, and in my community every black woman there has a black man. Yes you may see black and white, but it is because the white woman chase the black man so hard, and she is so easy to get, and will bow down to him. The black woman is a challenge and some men who are weak go for the white woman. Black women are strong, and will require the man to get up off his….and get a job or something, but the white woman will just bow down to him. But, you better believe that even that black man, quietly admire black women and will sneak and get him one if she would have him. I am black and I love it! but I know that the media lie on us all the time to make people think we hate being black, that is a bona fide lie. Most black people absolutle love the color of their skin regardless of what the media portray. I am cool with white people and some of them have admitted that it is hell being white, they say they hate that people can see broken veins through their skin, and that it looks cool to be black. Bottom line, stop spreading lies about us with your weak brain washing, reverse psychology tricks.

  • http://twitter.com/ChrisArdern1 Christopher

    Cause White men and Asian men have honor.

  • Pingback: Calling all multiracial people! |

  • Xavier

    Yeah black Americans are obsessed with IR dating, so much so that if I could get a dollar for every black man and women who has tried to talk me into dating outside my race, I would be rich.I have always been more attracted to black women and other black men constantly try to talk me out of dating my race. I dont follow trends, I never did and I never will, if I do decide to date out it will be on my time when I feel like it.

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