That Is Not Normal! Why Do Shows Like Love & Hip Hop Glorify Dysfunctional Relationships?

September 4, 2012  |  

Source: Examiner.com

Lately I’ve been bothered by the plethora of dysfunctional relationships being paraded about like they’re normal.

I was thinking about this last night when I turned to the Love and Hip Hop Atlanta reunion show. Between the Fredericks of Hollywood teddy that Erica was wearing as a dress and then her cussing out the other girl (Shay?) over this clown with tattoos on his face, I didn’t last five minutes before changing the channel. I was certain the show would end in a fight, but apparently it ended with a marriage proposal. Are you kidding me?

I am in awe that this foolishness is not only on television, but it’s popular too. I like a drama-filled TV series as much as the next girl, but my problem with LHHA is that it’s supposed to be reality. This type of drama is supposed to be their real life.

And for some unfortunate people, that is reality. I know that there are women who waste large chunks of their lives on men who subject them to the entire book of sexually transmitted diseases by creeping with random women all over town. Some of these couples even bring children into that dysfunction. I realize that it happens every day.

I also realize that images are important and putting this trash on television is making it seem as though these types of “relationships” are common. In fact, I would argue that these types of portrayals attempt to desensitize the viewers and make them believe that these types of relationships are normal. It’s that normalization of dysfunction that is problematic and something that I cannot tolerate.

Of course Mona Scott-Young isn’t inventing anything new under the sun. Dysfunction is a staple when it comes to romance in televisions and movies. Most of our favorite fictional couples’ relationships are defined by conflict. Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big are only one example of a relationship that would never survive without a script to sustain it. After watching a few reruns, I was shocked that the Everybody Loves Raymond season finale wasn’t held in divorce court. The other day I watched Love and Basketball and couldn’t even be happy that Monica and Quincy were together in the end because of so much mess that went on throughout. Not to mention that “Tamar & Vince” promo. Either they were faking that drama or this season will end with divorce papers.

Of course there are those who would say that, without the drama, television shows would be boring. I will give them that, but this LHHA drama is excessive. Who gets engaged after all of that? These two haven’t had a functional relationship for a day, yet he saw fit to pull out a ring and ask her to marry a N***a. If I was in that audience, I would have been booing and throwing tomatoes.

All of their drama was probably all part of gaining viewers for the show, but when that drama leaps off the screen and into the lives of people we know, it needs to be recognized as problematic and uncommon. It’s not recognized that way though. For some odd reason, a couple getting along without copious amounts of fights, breakups and makeups every day is seen as an anomaly and only to be expected for the first few dates.

Think about the terminology we use to describe different couples:

When a couple is happy together, we call that the “honeymoon phase”: A timespan during which problems known to exist are either not manifest or are ignored, much like the newlywed period during which spouses are most cordial and passionate with each other. In contrast, when a couple is constantly bickering, we say they fight like an old married couple; therefore implying that all of the fighting is not destructive to their relationship and is just part of their lasting union.

I’m not even sure where these definitions came from, but the “despise that I adore you, hate how much I love you” relationship model is accepted as normal. It’s not normal. If you’re fighting, cussing and slamming doors everyday, that’s not love, that’s dysfunction and a clear sign of incompatibility.  Sexual chemistry is great, but if a couple hates each other outside of the bedroom it’s time to go their separate ways.

The reason we don’t say that though is because many of us have never experienced nor observed a peaceful, loving, romantic relationship in real life or on TV. You don’t have to be the Huxtables to get along. Plenty of women are out here having serious, lasting relationships with men they can trust. They’re marrying men who don’t headbutt them or have other women on the side.

It ticks me off to listen to people who have no common sense in matters of their heart excuse their ignorance with the fallacy that their experience is common and all women are dealing with the same thing.

This is how we get the stereotypes that all men cheat, all men watch Adult Videos, all men go to strip clubs, all women don’t want to have sex, the first year of marriage is the hardest, etc. When I hear it, I want to say: “Nope that’s not everybody, that’s just you.”

While it’s important not to sell each other pockets full of sunshine because sunshine doesn’t pay the bills, it’s also important not to wave off inexcusable situations with the thought that everyone is dealing with the same thing. The other day, Mimi posted a video hollering about all women have been cheated on. First of all, that’s not true and even if it were that doesn’t justify the deplorable things she has put up with from Stevie J. Just because there are women who have been cheated on doesn’t mean women should accept or tolerate that. Just because there are men who won’t discipline themselves to be faithful and committed in a relationship doesn’t make it okay. These people trying to normalize their dysfunction need to have as many seats as possible preferably in the nearest therapist’s office.

I really hope that our expectations for our romantic relationships aren’t guided by what I witnessed on LHHA last night. Healthy relationships don’t just exist in 80’s sitcoms or when someone in the relationship is wearing a mask.  Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. We’re all born on this Earth and should expect positive dating relationships. If a couple cannot peacefully coexist then that’s a clear indication that the relationship needs to be ended. If respect, trust, honesty, loyalty, fidelity, kindness, and consideration have already made their exit then it’s a fair assumption that love is not in the room either.

And despite trying to convince us otherwise with “love” in the title, Stevie J, Lil Scrappy and their sex triangles are not true representations of relationships in this country. That life is not normal, it’s sad.

What do you think? Do you think that dysfunctional relationships are too often seen as normal and functional relationships are seen as uncommon?

Follow Alissa on Twitter @AlissaInPink or check out her blog This Cannot Be My Life

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  • QueenAnanse

    First off there is no such thing as “NORMAL” because we are all “dysfunctional” to a certain extent whether it be in culture, family, relationships, etc. I found this article to be full of your personal biases and judgment of what you believe a relationship is and behaviors a woman should NOT accept. That’s not your call. Many celebrities admit to having “open” marriages but we have to remember what may not work for you may work for others. Mimi is NOT an idiot she’s a woman who knew what she was getting into hence her 15 yrs of friendship with StevieJ prior to having his child. She knew he already had five other kids and baby mamas. (I mean really! Did she expect anything different from him?) I just have a problem with her trying to play the victim. She knew what she was getting into and in a way agreed to allow him to do his own thing. I actually think watching drama of this magnitude is helpful when other women watch place judgement on these people it MAY cause them to further examine their own relationships, or become more in line with what it is their after in their future relationships. Also you stated in your article, “many of us have never experienced nor observed a peaceful, loving, romantic relationship in real life or on TV” If that’s the truth what you claim is “dysfunctional” would actually be normal?

  • Disgusted

    We all know better but until we want better, we will have just what we choose to accept be it good or bad. People only do what we allow them to. If you choose to be a doormat then you will constantly be walked all over. Maybe the focus should have been this type of behavior is not “HEALTHY” because many are still arguing that it is normal and I have a feeling its the same people currently going through this foolishness in their own lives. Someone made a comment that Erica came out the b***h on top and how we all want to be the one he picks. Really what is this a raffle and where is the prize?????? I guess she has won her very own walking talking, lying cheatin behind male. Maybe the prize is the fact he proposed on TV so when he steps out on her he won’t be held accountable it will be the women he steps out with fault because we all saw him propose. SMDH

  • Only a fool would envy Erica, he aint the one. I can watch the show, and see my growth, I can relate to being young, dumb, and in love. Its easy for us to see how dysfunctional their relationships are….we’re not in them.

  • blackmaleatheist

    So I am gonna guest when he cheat she gonna say all black men are dog and start dating a white guy right.

  • Soultouch

    I think the most important thing here is that African Anericans still have more work to do if we do not want to be continually stereotyped as polygamists and drama queens. These problems seem to be inherent within the Black community… Embarrassing but not surprising

  • greentea516

    The key is that the dysfunctional person finds partners like them-dysfunctional. Mimi, Joseline and Stevie all had something void in them from their mothers growing up and it caused dysfunction on how they operate in relationships. People don’t normally see it like that, they just see the character portrayed on the TV “the lying cheating boyfriend” and the “proud other woman” and the “angry girlfriend”

  • If I would have read this article 3yrs ago, I would have thought it was normal, but then I stopped being a doormat cause I value myself more. These are not healthy relationships, they are not normal and they make it look like we dont mind sharing our man with his other baby mamas and we dont know how to be honest. Its disgraceful that this portrayed as normal. Show a normal couple who go to work, take care of their kids, pay their bills and go on date night. That is normal. Funny but I happen to like TI & Tiny because they show a loving couple raising their kids as one family (even tho TI has several baby mamas)

  • Elle Royal

    U mus aint neva been n da hood. Dis here, is us doing better. So is it about the audience not being mature enough to watch the soap opera cause they trying to live it? It aint nothing but a soap opera. I say instead of trying to live it we should be commenting on it and giving our two scents. But you got to realize some people aint creative enough to make their own relationships so they pick up on what’s happening on the telly then add it into their lives.

    You right about that “Nope that’s not everybody, that’s just you”, thing. But I disagree about those love triangles being sad. They are interesting giving me an outlet to say what I think when I talk to the tv or my friends about it. This stuff is good conversation for people who (like me) who think they know it all and got it all together. It is mess honey and loves me some mess. But would neva live that stuff out in my life. My man wouldn’t have it. If I attempt to make him more than a one woman man his supernatural strength goes into affect.

  • Yvette

    Everyone has had or has been witness to dysfunction. A lot of women don’t know or realize their self worth because they were either never taught it or never saw it in their family. How can you practice what you weren’t taught or shown? Now, I am not giving any of the women on these shows a pass, what I am saying is when you know better, you do better. Unfortunately, it takes some of us longer to “know better”. One more thing, when Scrappy proposed to Erica he said to her “So you gone marry a n***a or what? Really? I don’t know why I am so surprised. I thought that he would at least use correct english and formulate a full sentence when proposing marriage to the woman he claims to love! SMH at his ultra ghetto behind, and to Erica for accepting that ratchet proposal.

  • Amen! I thought this was a great piece. Although lengthy, she hit on some great points. I think that shows like Love & Hip Hop are on purely for entertainment and should be treated as such. Use it to create a dialogue with the kiddies and let them know that the type of relationships that they glorify are NOT normal.

  • CarlaKah

    I do think that dysfunctional relationships are too often seen as normal and functional relationships are seen as uncommon. I have been told by too many friends that:

    1 he “just” slapped her but she made him mad though…
    2 all men cheat
    3 women are “supposed” to endure some emotional pain to keep a longlasting relationship
    4 it’s all about who gets the ring
    5 at least they’ve got a man (who cheaats/hits her/doesn’t want to work legally/is verbally aggressive etc)

    And the list goes on and on and on….

    SMDH.

  • I would never want that much drama in my day to day life. I would be on some kind of medication, but thats just me. I am beautiful woman and I love good
    man…..inter racial romance is my dream… so I joined —blackwhitеPlanet.С0M—–it’s where to- connect with beautiful and excellent
    people!seriously. period. Normal is a committed relationship where both parties
    are interested in building a life as one-supporting each other and
    raising smart, loving and caring children.

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  • Hold up minute! NO ONE ON THIS EARTH has a relationship where there is no fighting, no disagreeing and rough patches from time to time, so what is “NORMAL”? People are not always going to see eye to eye n eveything!

  • Ms_Sunshine9898

    The sad thing is that these types of relationships are “normal”, we just don’t talk about it. If you gathered a circle of girlfriends, how girlfriends have a baby daddy just like Scrappy or Stevie J? We all know at least one girl friend that is the sweetest thing in the world and an outstanding mother and yet she has an ignorant baby daddy that she loves, can’t do no wrong, she gives chance after chance in hopes of a ring and a serious commitment. I can name at least one off the top of my head. . .

  • michele

    Damn, u have tons to say. Let the cameras follow u all day everyday, so we can see how normal and together your life is
    #judgingass

  • Nessa

    A better point would be it’s not right or okay to be in a dysfunctional relationship. It shouldn’t be tolerated but to say its not ‘normal’…sounds like the world you live in is veeerry small.

  • Nessa

    The person who wrote this article sounds green as hell. Love & Hip Hop ATL falls more in line with reality and a lot if not most relationships. Just some people aren’t as open about the short comings of their love life. It’s sad that you feel that the marriage proposal was left field…obviously marriage proposals must come left fiend for half the population if what we saw on the show was enough to drive your opinion then assume it for almost half of all marriages that end. Another point if any reality television televised what you assumed is a ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ relationship, everyone would they would be fronting or faking for the cameras.

    • Annette

      I’m kind of surprised by how many of you on here seem to live out some very dysfunctional lives. You can not possibly think this show has normal relationships unless you’re very used to dealing with a lot of unnecesssary mess, yourself. And you probably have no idea how dysfunctional it is…

  • It’s sad that the person that wrote this would rather see bad come out of this instead of the good.love is live,regardless of the distinction!

  • stevieva

    I agree with what the author spoke off. period. I think some of yall missed the point. No, it’s not normal to fight, get cheated on, fight, f***, have some more kids he can’t or wont support, take him back, fight with the new chick, or old chick or the same chick he’s been seeing the whole time he’s been seeing you. That is ghetto.hot mess. seriously. period. Normal is a committed relationship where both parties are interested in building a life as one-supporting each other and raising smart, loving and caring children. Not fighting over why for the 40th time in 2 months you are being cheating on. not playing house with multiple woman at the same time because you are a homeless house hopping. HH- yes i said it. and yall know who i’m talking about.

    • Na Na

      Lol. Yess! These men be playing games. Can’t get their own apartment so they wanna “live” with 2 or 3 women claiming they have alot of places they can stay….so do homeless people benches, bus stops and parks. The men who fall in that category are just crazy and will not be living with me!

      • TatumPascal

        “so do homeless people: benches, bus stops, and parks…” LOL!!!

  • here is the thing they are growing up together. At the end of the day they are each other’s ride or die’s

  • YourHeartShape

    Great write-up….very key points. Only dysfunction could be offended by this article. Once the cycle of dysfunction is broken…and only then, you are able to understand the perception of the piece.

  • imma

    Um.. sorry but just yesterday my Bff told me she beat up her baby daddy… THen he brought his OTHER baby momma and OTHER baby to her sons bday party. Smh
    feelings make people foolish
    especially in the messy babymomma/daddy scenario

  • applesauce585

    Relationships… “trial and error”….learn the lesson forget the experience….all relationships have their challenges…it is hardwork for men and women to maintain a decent healthy relationship.

  • redfingerpaint

    Well, my friends and the people I’m around don’t go through stuff like this. If we disagree, we might argue but we are never throwing wine bottles or holding purses hostage.THANK GOD!

  • JustSaying

    Dysfunctional relationships are normal. Women go through a few dysfunctional relationships before they even find a the man they want to marry. Who hasn’t been in a dysfunctional relationship before? Airing out the dysfunctional relationship on tv is what is considered not normal.

  • realadulttalk

    I really hope you don’t think The Cosby Show is an indication of anyone’s real life. It’s not–most peoples lives are more akin to LHHA than to the Cosby’s. So if that’s what you expect–expect to be disappointed in life. The first year of marriage isn’t just hard b/c of the relationship–it’s b/c 2 people are becoming one and learning to work together..b/c they chose to do so…and each person has to find out about the other.

    Can you please find me these women who have never been cheated on–and then I’ll find the man who will now admit to cheating on them. Most men have also been cheated on–but how many people admit to cheating without being caught?? Not many–unless you are intending to hurt the person you are telling or the person you cheated with is about to blow the whistle. I’m not saying all men cheat–I am saying that if you’ve had more than 1 relationship there is a pretty good chance you’ve been cheated on.

    So I think that while these shows are dramatic–so are many people’s lives. These people are very hood. And guess what you tend to find in the hood? DRAMA!! I also think I need you to find me these non-dysfunctional people you know. I don’t know any. And when you bring them to me–I’ll be sure to either find the dysfunction or have them committed b/c only truly crazy people don’t understand that everyone is dysfunctional in some way.

    • Ms_Sunshine9898

      Just because SOME men cheat, doesn’t mean ALL men cheat. My dad prides himself on being my mom’s one and only since they started dating and marriage.

      • Drew Smith

        Ma’am, please refrain from feigning expertise in the matters of your parent’s relationship. Be their child and be proud of the unit they’ve become, but don’t ever put anyone who isn’t your deity on a pedestal, as they’re sure to disappoint. While your father — a good man, no doubt — prides himself on being your mother’s one and only, does he also profess that she’s HIS one and only??? That question is answered in your initial response and how you penned it. That is likely not even your fault, as you’re probably doing nothing more than reciting what you’ve heard over the years. Your message is synonymous with you saying “My dad has been the love of my mom’s life ever since they started dating in high school.” Awesome. So… Who, exactly, has been the love of his life??? Be sure to fact-check prior to responding…

        • Ms_Sunshine9898

          This is exactly what I’m talking about. The fact that so many black people come from broken homes and single parent families speaks for itself. Are we as black America so used to seeing dysfunctional families full of cheaters and men who walk out on their families that we can even believe or we just have to find something wrong with a family who has none of this? Again I stand by my comment that I made relating to my parents. I hope you and other women come to learn and understand, two black adults can be married in a healthy, committed, and non dysfunctional marriage with kids without drama and cheating. I’m sorry if you’ve never seen it or experienced it but don’t put it down on both ends of spectrum of my parents or any other couple because it’s something of an urban legend for you. . .

      • realadulttalk

        I already said I wasn’t saying all men cheat. But like the person below asked–is your father making that same claim?

        • Ms_Sunshine9898

          Why are you so quickly to believe that anyone wants to cheat and bring discord to their marriage? I need for you to find some role models of happy couples without the problems you’re searching for . . .

          • realadulttalk

            What in the world are you talking about?? You may want to grow up and live in the real world. Sorry that 2 different people had to point out the flaw in your mother’s claim. I need you to stop believing everything mommy and daddy tell you. Guess the tooth fairy, santa and the easter bunny all still visit huh?

            • Ms_Sunshine9898

              I need for you to wake up and realize everybody does live in the dysfunctional world you live in. Just because your family and people in your life don’t know what marriage and commitment are doesn’t the world is following your family’s example. Sure it happens to some people and not everybody, but the only fantasy world create here in the one you live in by yourself thinking there isn’t a world where people do actually try to do the right thing. . . child please, get your mind right and be for real – everyone does not share your misery. . .

              • realadulttalk

                I love how you know so much about me. Girl bye! You put your parents biz on front street. Don’t get mad now. You know nada about me or my family-so perhaps it is you whose mind is not quite on the right track. Take of the rose colored glasses sunshine and join the rest of us in our reality. Bye now!

                • Ms_Sunshine9898

                  ” Sorry that 2 different people had to point out the flaw in your
                  mother’s claim. I need you to stop believing everything mommy and daddy
                  tell you. . . I love how you know so much about me. Girl bye! . You know nada about me or my
                  family-so perhaps it is you whose mind is not quite on the right track.
                  Take of the rose colored glasses sunshine and join the rest of us in
                  our reality.” Exactly, you don’t know me or my family, so don’t get my experience twisted with your own. Eat your words and live them before you try to spit them out at someone else. By the way get some reading comprehension since you can’t understand what you wrote your own self. . .

                  • realadulttalk

                    “Get some reading comprehension” followed by “wrote your own self” now that’s funny…and ironic. I don’t need to comment any further–you are making yourself sound like a fool all by yourself…please continue on.

                    • Ms_Sunshine9898

                      exactly you big dummy! what yourself wrote, you couldn’t understand! *wonders why I’m still dealing to slow children who can dish but can’t take it*

                    • realadulttalk

                      You are really stupid huh? Now it’s just sad. Here’s how idiot–I told you NOTHING about my family. You, on the other hand, being the intellectually inferior being that you are-volunteered info about yours. Good day–please go back to school or do something to better your education. You are seeming a wee bit slow.

                    • Ms_Sunshine9898

                      Are you really that slow? Like really? I volunteered information about my parents you, and yet misunderstood fool you are, you said,” What in the world are you talking about?? You may want to grow up and live in the real world. Sorry that 2 different people had to point out the flaw in your mother’s claim. I need you to stop believing everything mommy and daddy tell you.” This would lead me or anyone else with an ounce of sense to believe that clearly you’ve never seen a marriage where two people love and respect each other enough that there is no room for discord, lies, affairs and the like. You two fools assumed that since we were discussing one person in particular in our discussion about men, my father, and the way he felt toward my mother, it must have been one sided because I only spoke of one of the feelings of one parent. You just questioned my trust in my own parents and you think I’m not supposed to get insulted? You went there first. You see where I’m coming from? Hence the response “I need for you to wake up and realize everybody does live in the dysfunctional world you live in. Just because your family and people in your life don’t know what marriage and commitment are doesn’t the world is following your family’s example. Sure it happens to some people and not everybody, but the only fantasy world created here is the one you live in by yourself thinking there isn’t a world where people actually don’t try to do the right thing. . .” i.e everyone has not experienced a dysfunctional family relationship, and I can only assume that you have based on your comments that a married couple cannot have a successful and loving relationship without cheating and drama. That made your response “Sorry that 2 different people had to point out the flaw in your mother’s claim. I need you to stop believing everything mommy and daddy tell you. . . I love how you know so much about me. Girl bye! . You know nada about me or my family-so perhaps it is you whose mind is not quite on the right track” null and void as you clearly insinuated that my parents were liars and had hidden issues within their relationship that were unknown me because I “believe everything my mommy and daddy told me”. It also makes you a hypocrite since at that point I had said nothing about your family, only that you needed some role models. And that is why I was allowed to assume that you perhaps have never seen a decent relationship between a married couple. That’s called reading comprehension. You need to COMPREHEND WHAT YOU READ AND WRITE. Reading is fundamental you know, and if you have to start back on Hook on Phonics, then I suggest you get started real soon before you call yourself trying to educate me on matters about me, my family, or anything else you think is relevant to any topic at hand. Good day ma’am and I wish you best in your relearning endeavors!

  • Guest

    This article is too long…I tuned out after the first paragraph…

    • Sandara

      At least it was only one page. A rarity for this site.

      • Elle Royal

        lmao….black folk do talk too long…lol

  • Leo

    All men (99%) do watch adult videos. Maybe not on a regular basis (which is relative anyway) Sorry…The fact that many women feel threatened by this actually encourages it, as it comes off as insecurity and is therefore unattractive. Men like confident women. If your relationship is threatened by an adult video then it wasn’t on solid ground in the first place and the “adult video” viewing is just the catalyst for creating a dialogue about what’s really wrong in the relationship.

    • Drew Smith

      Damn! So many thumbs down for a spot on message. That sucks. At the end of the day, I’ve come to learn that many women are simply not receptive of hearing (or reading) the truth. We, men, will travel to great lengths to copulate with a woman. If a video is threatening, then the gig’s been up, and that’s as factual as people requiring water to live. Some people really need to get their lives in order.

      • Ms_Sunshine9898

        you’ve got to be as ignorant as they come. . .

        • Drew Smith

          Careful with the insults, ma’am. Unless that pic you’ve got up is some sort of joke (e.g., that gremlin from Lord of the Rings), you’ve left me with way too much ammo — if I happened to be that kind of guy. Other folks won’t be so forgiving…

          • Ms_Sunshine9898

            The joke’s on you crazy. A male coming on a women’s site to tell them about themselves and enlighten them with your on brand of ignorance and foolishness? Going in on a picture because you lack substance in mental thought and processing? Child please. . .

            • Drew Smith

              Well, somebody needed to tell you something; you’re living in a fantasy land. Also, exactly where do you think you can insult someone and not get a snide response? FYI, this is an entertainment site with many articles geared towards women, but it’s hardly a women’s site. There will be an article later on today specifically asking men questions, silly. I’m ignorant and foolish, yet you patrol this site awaiting the 6 or 7 tips you need to live and get a man to notice you. Oh, the irony…

              • Ms_Sunshine9898

                for what? being the exception to foolishness you see in your life? there are opinions and fact – you need to learn the difference. my reality is a fantasy land because your own experience and opinion? calling it what it is, ignorance at it’s finest because clearly even everyone doesn’t have the same thought process as you nor the same experience you still seem to believe in you opinionated belief cause you’re a man on a woman’s site you know what’s up and your facts and opinions are everybody’s realities. “6 or 7 tips you need to live and get a man to notice you.” right. . . . it’s funny that that’s one thing you notice and come here for. . .

    • Na

      I think its so many thumbs down because no one knows what she’s talking about or where this adult video convo is coming from. It has nothing to do with the topic.

      • Drew Smith

        — This is how we get the stereotypes that all men cheat, all men watch Adult Videos, all men go to strip clubs, all women don’t want to have sex, the first year of marriage is the hardest, etc. When I hear it, I want to say: “Nope that’s not everybody, that’s just you.” — Copy and pasted straight from the article. I guess people pick and choose which parts of a piece to read. *shrugs*

    • C

      Do say that ‘all’ of an entire gender do anything is a generalization that I can refuse to accept, whether it’s true in your mind or not.

      • C

        *To

  • quest

    Everybody has dysfunction in their lives. It’s just not on display like these so called reality shows. I say so called because Im having a hard time believing that this is really their lives. It is so ridiculous. I would never want that much drama in my day to day life. I would be on some kind of medication, but thats just me.

    • Miss Anonymous

      Fact is always stranger than fiction. I know of a woman who slept with and had 2 kids by her baby sister’s baby daddy. (youngest sister met man, had a baby by him, older sister gets with man have two kids by him)

      • Kenedy

        Sooo true….i watch these shows & think…how ridiculous& what a bunch of dumba**es for dating the people they date & make babies with or whatever….this is too crazy to be real life…..but then i watch the Maury show & stuff like that & think….maybe stuff like this really does happen in real life….then i hear gossip @ work & im like Oh God….this ish really does exist in real life

    • keesha

      Of course some people have had some sort of dysfunction, but it isn’t always to the extreme that these “reality” shows portray.

      • CarlaKah

        SORRY but the Steve J/Joseline/Mimi situation IS extreme. 4 baby mommies, and extra that lost her future title by aborthing while baby momma nr. 4 thinks that baby daddy is HER man?? I. Say. No.

        • keesha

          I don’t know if you had meant to reply to me or not, but if you were, you obviously didn’t read what I had posted. I never said that what was portrayed on these types of shows wasn’t extreme, I was actually saying that what is portrayed on these shows is sometimes MORE extreme than what happens in real life dysfunctional relationships.

          • CarlaKah

            I understand you

          • CarlaKah

            I understand you

      • DoinMe

        Yes these are extreme situations, but they are out there. Do you remember the guy with 20-something kids and 10+ baby mamas? I think he was from Memphis. He makes Stevie J look like a Boy Scout.