True Life: I’m a Girlfriend to a Man in An Open Marriage

March 21, 2012  |  

By Anonymous

I stood at the airport waiting for him to come down the escalator to baggage claim, anticipating the energy I knew I would feel as soon as he was in my presence. This was my time. It was my chance to be with a man I love, a man I enjoy being around, a man I would do just about anything for. It was my turn to be with my boyfriend, a man who just so happens to be in an open marriage with his wife while having multiple girlfriends…including myself.

This wasn’t a situation I ever expected to be a part of. Why would I want to be with a man who is married, who has other women, who is open about his other women, and who would not be committed to me 100 percent?
He lives on the East Coast. I live on the West Coast and his other women are spread throughout the country, four of us to be exact, including his wife. I am the newest girlfriend of his and I have met and spoken with his wife. I do plan on meeting the other women as well. He and I speak on the phone quite often, but our time alone with each other is definitely the hardest part of our relationship, due to him being so far away and so busy.

It confuses me every time I think about it too hard. And then I hear his voice, and I feel at ease. He tells me, “I Love You,” and in my heart, I know he’s being honest about it. When we are together, he holds me, touches me, kisses me, and makes me feel like the goddess I am. And when we have sex, it’s not two physical bodies bumping into each other, it’s our bodies coming together as one, communicating our love to each other. In that moment, it’s about us and only the two of us, and then I don’t feel like just a girlfriend.

Yes, there are a few feelings of insecurity and jealousy, but not any more than I would have in a monogamous relationship, because while I may not want to hear details of what he does, I know that what he is telling me is the truth.
This man is not only teaching me how to be a sexually fulfilled woman, but also how to be open and honest and loving so I can receive the love I am deserving of. He is showing me there are men who are respectful, forgiving, sexual, sympathetic, and loving out there and he is showing me how to get what I want and what I need in my life, whether it’s a career, peace of mind, or even another man.

So, it’s not a big deal about him being married, because he’s not lying or cheating. His wife knows about me, has met me, and is fully aware of who I am in his life and I know and respect his wife. It’s not about him having other women and being honest about it, because men cheat every day. I will always prefer a man to be upfront in regards to what he wants and who he wants versus sneaking behind my back every day. And it’s not about not being committed to me 100 percent, because he is. He may not have the ability to be with me every day, every week, or even every month for that matter, but he is committed to me and my life and the goals we have together. Yes, we have goals together.

This is more than just an open relationship. It’s an “Open Lifestyle” and it’s complicated and hard for most because too many people are so used to being closed and shying away from being honest with each other, especially when it comes to love and sex. Progressive love is allowing the feelings within you to be free; to live in the moment and enjoy it. This is what keeps me here. Because I love LOVE and I love being able to give it freely and openly while receiving it in the same way. I have much to learn, plenty to understand and a multitude of feelings to sort through, but in the meantime, I’m progressing in this open lifestyle one day at a time.

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