Women who are single, and unhappily so, love to come up with all types of reasons why their singleness has nothing to do with them.

“All the good men are either, married, broke or on the down low.”

“He couldn’t afford me.”

And my personal favorite, “ Men are intimidated by my success.”

Wherever did that last one come from? Blanketed stereotypes like this have to come from somewhere. And like with most stereotypes, this one probably comes from a place of truth.

Oh, I can hear the grumblings already. “How refreshing, another black woman complaining that men are intimidated by her success…” I know but hear me out. While there are plenty of men who revel in their woman’s success, there are also men who are secretly and not so secretly jealous of it, especially when her success comes after the two are already together. This jealousy, and not intimidation, is the root issue.

But let me throw a bit of a bone the fellas, this is not just a male problem. Jealousy is one of the nastiest emotions any mere mortal can face. Women are more than capable of being jealous of a man’s success as well. It’s just heightened in men because they have societal pressures, from men and women, to be smarter, make more money and exercise a certain level of dominance in their households. But for centuries, women have been expected to quietly and willingly take a backseat.

So what happens when a woman’s talents, dreams and aspirations are greater than her adherence to social norms? She either finds a man who shares and acts on the belief that it’s ok for her to shine or jealousy and resentment eat away at her relationship. I say that her man should not only share the belief but also act on it because we all know there are plenty of people, who desire to believe something, but their actions show they really don’t.

We can see several examples of this jealousy take place in our own lives but for the sake of providing examples everyone can relate to, let’s examine the life and words of celebrities and public figures who’ve struggled with this very issue in their own romantic relationships.

When I was younger, the boys in school would talk about their infatuation for whatever starlet was hot at the time. Listening to them, you’d swear they believed they had a real, legitimate chance with the object of their affections, if only they could meet her. I knew even then that this would never happen. Age, looks and accessibility aside, celebrities rarely date and marry us common folk because one we really don’t understand the lives they lead and two it takes a very special person to be with someone who’s always going to get more attention than you.