Can Living Alone Make You Crazy?

February 28th, 2012 - By Charing Ball

"charing ball"According to the New York Times trend piece, living alone can make you crazy. Seriously, that’s what it says. And here I was thinking that living with a house full of kids and a thankless husband would be a nightmare…

Steven Kurutz, the writer of the Times piece, says that 1 in every 4 American households is occupied by someone living alone. While the benefits are plentiful including the freedom to come and go as you please and the space and solitude to recharge one’s batteries, Kurutz says that the single-occupant home lacks the certain social checks and balances required to keep folks on the straight and narrow.  As such, living alone can also be a breeding ground for “Secret Single Behavior. ”

What classifies as Secret Single Behaviors? Well Kurutz uses examples in the form of two people who live alone, who have eccentricities such as running in place during TV commercials; speaking conversational French to themselves while making breakfast; singing Journey songs in the shower; sustaining oneself largely on cereal, nuts and seeds; turning your dryer into a makeshift dresser (because you are too lazy to take the clothes out of the dryer and put them in its proper place), and never closing the bathroom door when…er… handling your business. All this kind of makes you crazy.

Wait, why would you need to close the bathroom door if you live alone? Perhaps Kurutz has never thought about the serial killer, who is waiting to break into your home and plans to sneak up on you while you take care of business on the toilet. He can’t sneak up on you if you see him coming. Or at least that is what I got from watching lots of horror films. All alone. By myself. Hmm, maybe he has a point.

I mean I do talk to both my cat and dog, although it is only my dog Coltrane who pays attention to what I’m saying. And yeah, at times while watching television, I do talk to myself but that is only because I tell funny jokes and it would be rude not to laugh.  And okay, I admit it; Lucky Charms taste just as good for dinner as much as they do for breakfast. But is that really eccentric? I mean, I am sort of socially inept out in public, so perhaps my chosen home-based solitary confinement is the source for my own social awkwardness? Nawh, I don’t think so.

For me, living alone is an escape from the outside world. There is a lot of psychiatric illness out there, particularly if you live in the city. Places with denser populations also mean that folks are constantly subjected to bright lights and loud noises, poor environmental climates, crime, high taxes, low wages, long work schedules, proper protocols and greater socioeconomic divide. As such, it is easy to develop or become at-risk for anxiety disorders, mood disorders, and schizophrenia. In fact, in a study of more than 7,000 people in the Netherlands, investigators found that both full-blown psychotic disorders and milder psychosis-like symptoms were more common among those living in urbanized areas. So perhaps having your own personal space, which requires you to spend at least a few hours a day away from other people, might be the therapy that some folks need to not only decompress but also to act out all of those “eccentricities” without fear of looking odd or crazy out in public.

And there are definitely fun perks to living alone.  Like being able to walk right into the house, unhinge the bra and throw it on the couch without worrying that someone is going to chastise you for not putting your clothing in the hamper. Like lounging around on my couch, channel flipping and doing absolutely nothing productive without someone saying, “is that what you did all day?” Yes, it is and l liked it a lot. Like cooking unbalanced meals such as corn on the cob, skittles and pita bread and eating it all with my fingers. Like not having to rush to do the dishes or vacuum or even make my bed.  Like walking around the house in mixed matched sweats, holey socks and drawers or naked if I want. The possibilities of all the crazy stuff you can do at home, by yourself, are both endless and awesome.

Of course, you can have too much of a good thing.  And while I do cherish my moments of solitude, I’m also aware that long periods of time alone can make me feel like I’m becoming lazy and going crazy- especially if Coltrane, my dog, refuses to talk to me. I do have to remind myself to clean, to get off the couch and be productive and social with real people outside of my abode and to eat something nutritious. But that’s when individual accountability and responsibility come into play.  If a grown up has to live with someone just to keep him/her in check socially, well then you are not doing it (adulthood) right.

 

Charing Ball is the author of the blog People, Places & Things.

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  • Aplastic

    Closing the bathroom door when you are alone is a cray to me – shows a higher level of narcissism and paranoia.  As for your unbalanced meal – I’d love to have a potluck with you.  

  • Tay

    I am married and I do some of the things that people who live alone do like sing in the shower, dance around, I do all the same crazy stuff I did while I lived alone now in front of my husband and he does the same. We just look at each other like what are u doing and keep it moving. I think there is a perception that if your married or living with a significant other that you aren’t being yourself but you should be able to be who you are in your home I don’t care who there with you.

  • FromUR2UB

    For some people, being by themselves is the worst fate they can imagine.  That’s why they keep people around them at all times.  When the kids grow up, they continue to live at home, not so much because mom or dad is helping them out, but because they don’t want to have to deal with an empty nest.  But I bet that those people have to hang out in the bathroom to get some alone time, when they need it.  There are times when you need privacy from the people you love most.

    • TJG_YO

      hanging out in the bathroom to get alone time..i swear the bathroom was my savior before my family all moved out. i’m having quiet time out in the living room right now, couldn’t be happier..

  • Sheila

    I don’t think I am crazy. I have great friends that I can hang around with if I need company. I do however find myself talking to the tv quite a bit. Much like the author I enjoy eating cereal for dinner. Not doing my hair and being able to channel surf without worrying about others.

  • ariesdollface

    Living alone is awesomely AWESOME!!!! And i am not at all socially awkward…outside my house. I have a problem w/overnight guests though disrupting my living space/behavior. i would never even consider getting a roommate. and it’s an open secret that i fear one day i’ll meet the man of my dreams & it will be a terrible struggle to learn to live with him. but doesn’t everyone have that problem?! something to consider. until then…

  • Cali Marining200

    It also depends on the person or people you’re living with you. There are folks; life is better without them around all the time.

  • Tcleckley

    I love living alone. Until I find that special someone, I’m going to enjoy coming home from work and opening up a book & reading it for hours or cleaning up when I want, and walking around looking anyway I want…Living alone doesn’t make you crazy, it helps you to get to know yourself better. 

  • Ann G

    I live alone and I did think it made me a bit socially awkward..lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kimberly-T-Washington/1003691176 Kimberly T Washington

    I talk to myself… ALOT!  hee hee.. I think its funny, but it makes the people at work look at me funny.

  • F3ral Anarchy

    depends on your personality and other conditions in life.  after my divorce coming home to a empty crib to peace and quiet was the best thing that ever happened to me.  people who have ocd issues and conditions like agoraphobia probably thrive and are perfectly content living alone. 

    • Guest

       I was thinking only someone who has never been married would think living alone is a negative.  lol

      • IllyPhilly

        LMAO, My thoughts!

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