Once you’ve established that you’re in a monogamous relationship with somebody, you and your partner may decide you want to remove condoms from the equation. You both know you aren’t sleeping with anybody else, you don’t plan on sleeping with anybody else, and paying for condoms is becoming expensive (not to mention remembering to buy them is annoying). But removing condoms from your relationship is a big decision. When you stop using condoms, you’re putting a lot of trust in your partner, and your partner is putting a lot of trust in you. You’re also opening yourself up to a far less inhibited sex life—gone will be the days when you can’t do it, because somebody forgot to pack the condoms. There are things to think about before taking this next step. Here’s what you should do before removing condoms from your relationship.
First, have a discussion about it
Too many couples decide in the heat of the moment, right in the middle of foreplay when nobody is thinking straight, that they don’t want to use condoms anymore. But this is a big decision and one you and your partner should make with your clothes on. Don’t just stop using condoms without discussing it, even if you have been together for a long time.
Get checked again
Even if your partner says he was clean when you got together, and even if you’ve now been together for well over a year without him displaying any symptoms of STD’s, you should both get tested again. Consider it a peace-of-mind gift you’re giving one another. Also remember that some STD’s take a while to show up in tests, and even though your partner did test clean towards the beginning of your relationship, he may have had a dormant STD at the time.
Make sure he’s the one
If you’re going to stop using condoms with a partner, think about if this is the person you want to spend your life with. If, by any chance or any mistake he gave you an incurable STD like herpes, you probably want to make sure that he’s the one. Imagine being stuck with herpes, breaking up with this person, and then having to tell every future partner that you have herpes.
Research your new birth control
Make sure you’ve put a lot of thought into the new birth control you want to switch to. Think about your habits and routines, so you can determine whether or not you can take the pill that must be taken at the exact same time each day. Or, consider alternatives like IUDs or diaphragms. But don’t ditch your condoms until you’re comfortable and confident with your new form of birth control.
Find a good lube
Don’t forget that most condoms are lubricated. You may not have realized just how much you relied on the lubrication on your condoms to make sex easier, and feel better. Try out different lubes before ditching the condoms. Find the one that feels the best for you, and the one that you don’t have any allergic reactions to.
Discuss accidental pregnancies
Any time you’re changing or removing a form of birth control, you and your partner should be on the same page about what will happen if you become accidentally pregnant. If you have always been on the pill, but additionally used condoms, then by removing condoms you are naturally putting yourself at a higher risk of pregnancy.
Keep some around just in case
If you miss your pill one day, you and your partner should use a condom. If you forget to pack your birth control for travel, and cannot get a prescription at your destination, you should use condoms. If your partner knows he has herpes and is having an outbreak, you should use condoms. Just don’t throw out your stash of condoms, all because you’re switching to a new main form of birth control.
Prepare for allergic reactions
Be aware that your body could have some strange reactions to removing condoms. Some women are allergic to their partner’s semen, while others can have allergic reactions to the soap men use on their genitals.
Draw up infidelity clauses
This is up to you and your partner, but you may want to consider drawing up an infidelity contract. It could state that if your partner cheats on you and gives you an STD, he’ll owe you X amount of monetary compensation, as well as be obligated to pay for your treatment.
Be ready for more laundry
You’ll no longer have a condom to trap your partner’s semen. It will now go on the bedding and on your clothes. This could mean a lot more laundry for the both of you.
Say hello to the post-sex dance
Now that the condom isn’t containing your partner’s semen, guess what is? You! Yup. So you can have the wonderful, somewhat demoralizing experience many women have of waddling across the room to the bathroom after sex, clenching their knees together and hoping no, um, substance drips down onto the floor.
Get ready for him to finish fast
Condoms aren’t just good for preventing pregnancy and STDs—they also reduce sensation for your partner, helping him last longer. Once you remove condoms, your partner might finish really fast. Make sure you get plenty of foreplay or discover some new positions that help him last longer.
Prepare for more BJ requests
Your partner may not have asked for many blow jobs before. He might have accidentally put the condom on too early, so he’d do away with asking for a blowjob at all. Or, if you didn’t used to give him oral whatsoever because you weren’t sure he was clean, he’ll want it a lot more after testing clean.
Expect more quickies
Your partner may want to get it on anywhere at any given time. If you stop by his office to bring him lunch, he doesn’t need to have condoms on hand to have a quickie. If you and your partner are feeling adventurous in the hotel elevator, you don’t need to hold off until you get to your room, where you keep the condoms.
Make sure this is what you want
It’s pretty common for men to pressure their female partners to stop using condoms since condoms interfere with their pleasure more than hers. Make sure you are 100 percent comfortable ditching the condoms with this partner. If you have any little inkling this partner may not remain faithful to you or be your life partner, keep the condoms.