When Your Mom and Your Lady Have Their Own Union…

October 23, 2011  |  

So it turns out that my girlfriend and my mother have segued off into a “relationship” of their own.

Seems every time I turn around, I’m hearing, “Oh, I was talking to your mother this afternoon about so-and-so,” or “I had a nice conversation with your girlfriend about such-and-such.” Every time I hear either of them say something like this, I experience conflicting emotions of appreciation and wariness.

I’ve always wanted my partner to get along with my mother, which is really an extension of wanting a partner like my mother (a success on my end: smart, small-framed with a hair-trigger temper), so I get a kick out of the fact that my lady gels with my mother in a way no girlfriend from my past even came close to.

On the other side of the spectrum, I wonder what either of them knows about me – or each other – that I’m not already aware of. Call me selfish, but that’s my mother and my partner, and it would piss me off to Hades if I knew either of them betrayed my trust to the other. I don’t really keep secrets from my lady, but there are things she knows about me that I don’t necessarily want my mama knowing, even though I’m pretty damn close to my mama.

Whenever I start thinking deeply about it, I always conclude that their relationship is tenuous by nature: there’s no way they can expect to really have this bond everlasting for a couple reasons. First, my mother’s loyalty will always be with me, no matter what happens. I could hang my girlfriend by her big toes and dangle her over a lake of fire just for breathing, and she would have my back at the end of the day; my mother could never justify keeping a relationship with her going if I insisted she didn’t. On that note, my lady would not reveal more to my mother than I want her to. She can’t get away with telling my mother things that she would share with her own best friend: telling her all the private s*** that I would rather she not know.

So then, why are they even being bothered with this half-baked friendship? Well, I do think there are many positives to it all…namely that they both have my best interests at heart. So I guess the two women whom I care most about in the world teaming up can’t be a terrible thing. It’s more endearing than anything, so I’ll always welcome it. But cautiously.

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