How To Bounce Back When The First Date Is Trash
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Realize you’ve been there, too
Okay maybe you’ve never cried on a first date, but you’ve been in the position before when you went on dates while you were still too fragile to do, so. Don’t be too frightened of the unstable dates; they’ll come around just like you did.
Stop questioning your filter
You might become terrified, thinking you just don’t know how to spot the crazies! Don’t do that to yourself. Most of the world is pretty good at making a first impression. This could have happened to anybody.
But, take a moment to reflect on your filter
You probably just met your very first super needy/neurotic/controlling/whatever the flawed personality type is. Now you can evaluate them, and take note of ways you can identify this type of person in the future. This can be a learning experience.
Stay away from the Internet
This isn’t a time to check your dating profiles. You might eagerly say yes to a date with anyone, just trying to rinse out the bad taste left in your mouth by the last one.
Go be with your best friend
See a good friend. Remind yourself that you have a wonderful network of close relationships, so you don’t have to date any of these, er, characters you’ve been meeting.
Cut ties if you need to
Some dates leave you so disturbed that you can’t stand the thought of the guy even thinking he might see you again. If you need to, for your own sanity, send a text right after the date saying, “You seem wonderful but I don’t feel any chemistry here.” Get him out of your system fast!
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See your male friends
Remind yourself that there are sane, kind and stable men out there. You just didn’t happen to go on a date with one of those tonight.
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Look for the silver lining
Now you know the happy hour at that sushi place is great, and you know exactly where to find free parking.
Make adjustments to your profile
This isn’t a good time to make new dates, but it could be a good time to make adjustments to your profile. Maybe you, personally, would like to add that you’re not interested in dating men who are recently divorced. Make this time productive.
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Be proud of yourself for doing the work
You had to go on this date to meet the wonderful partner you will one day meet. Consider this the hard work portion of dating and be proud of yourself for doing it.
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And don’t judge yourself
Don’t start worrying that you attract these characters. The truth is, maybe you do, but you attract them because you are strong, stable and cheery. Sometimes sad, unstable people are drawn to stable people because they want some of that strength. Take it as a compliment.
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Promise yourself you’ll do phone calls first
This is a great time to make a new dating rule for yourself; you will do a phone call or Skype call with all your dates before meeting in person. You’ll be amazed what sorts of traits you can sniff out (and eliminate) in just one call.
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Watch a quirky romantic comedy
You know–the kind in which the lead character has to go on some nightmare dates before finding her partner, too. It will lift you up a little.
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Block if you have to
If your date frightened you in any way, block his phone number, email address, and social media accounts immediately. Intimidating and aggressive men shouldn’t even get to take a small step into your life.
