Tantric Sex 101

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“I’m in between sheets tryin’ to have sex that’s tantric.” – Common

What do you know, or what do you think you know about tantric sex? Maybe you think it’s something that hippies, hipsters, yogis and like-minded individuals flock to. Or maybe you think tantric sex is a long, drawn-out process that’s unrealistic in today’s busy, always on the go world.

The ancient Indian tradition, whether applied to yoga, massage or sex, is meant to foster deeper connections with the physical and spiritual self. An intimate merging of the mind, body and soul. Those who practice and teach tantric sex claim that knowing how to channel your sexual energy can lead to more creative, productive and fulfilled living. And of course, better sex. Here are some of the basics to help get you started.

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Riding Solo

Slow, deep breathing. Relaxation. Awareness. Soft touches. Self-massage. Who says you have to have a partner in order to cultivate your own sexual energy?

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Set the Mood

A warm bath. Music. Lit candles. Tantra is not about rushing. Intentionally slowing things down can help you (and your partner) to be more present with each other and with your feelings.

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Awaken the Senses

We already mentioned music, but there are ways to awaken your other senses. How about some chocolate? Inhale its delicious aroma repeatedly, lick it gently. Let it melt across your tongue. Take the time to feel your senses and your excitement heighten.

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Eye Contact

It may seem uncomfortable or unnatural at first, but gazing into your partner’s eyes, establishing an intimate connection, is an important step toward full connection. After all, the eyes are the windows into the soul.

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Shake, Shake, Shake

Arms, legs, feet – shake your entire body for a minute or so. Doing this can release tension, increase sensitivity and increase your chances of achieving a full-body orgasm.

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Meditate

Meditation can decrease stress and distraction, and increase sexual desire and performance. Sit cross-legged in front of your partner and place your right hand on his or her heart. Have them do the same. Practice slow, harmonious breathing.

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Tantric Kisses

With lips slightly touching, inhale and exhale in unison until you and your partner are breathing in the same pattern, then slowly kiss away. The difference is like night and day.

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Tantric Massage

Starting with the back side then moving to the front, the purpose of a full-body tantric massage is not to achieve orgasm but to achieve full-body (and mind) relaxation. Erogenous zone massages like the yoni (vagina) or lingam (“wand of light”; penis) massage takes pleasure to another level for both the receiver and giver.

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Yab-Yum

After doing some eye work and unison breathing, this is a position in which the woman is straddled on top of her partner, with her legs wrapped around them. This is not about penetration. The yab-yum position builds up arousal and sexual tension.