As an individual who has traveled from place to place, and got my “squatter” on in a few random cities across the country for both work and school purposes, I can’t tell you enough about the importance of finding a good church to clear your mind at. In college, what looked like a beat up old warehouse in the middle of tiny ‘ol Columbia, Missouri wound up being a party every Sunday. A party that just so happened to get me through the tough times–issues at home, man problems, financial woes, FINALS. You name it, church got me through it. Actually, God did, but you catch my drift.
So now that I’m older, living in a new, big city, I want to find a church like that again. The options around me are superfluous, with churches from block to block, but there’s always some bumps in the road while searching. While church is supposed to be a great place to have fellowship and get a new perspective on the bible (though you should be familiar with your bible before you go), some churches that try too hard or don’t try hard enough can wind up being great places to get dressed up and take naps. So with that, here are seven signs to help you figure out whether or not it’s time for you to pick up your bible and take your praise elsewhere.
If Every Sunday You Leave Confused…
In many ways, I think whether or not you’re hearing a good word is a big sign of whether or not a church is for you. There’s something really random about starting a sermon off with the book of Acts and ending it with a rant about the debt ceiling and the importance of obtaining “our” 40 acres and a mule. I’m not saying these aren’t important topics to discuss, but why are we doing it now? Same goes for a pastor that interprets a verse from a book in the bible way to the left of how you see it. New interpretations are nice, but when you feel like you’re not on the same page with what’s being preached about five Sundays in a row, chances are, you might need to keep looking around.
You Feel There’s TOO Much Emphasis on Money
God loves a cheerful giver, that we know and understand. But it’s hard to be all that cheerful when the idea of contributing more than you’ve got is rammed down your throat. Especially for something somewhat out of your budget, like a whole new building, a basketball court–lavish things outside of your regular tithes and offerings. I’m all about helping out, but don’t make me feel bad by sending the treasurer to beat me into giving up my whole paycheck by making the congregation feel like they’re not doing enough, especially if after paying my bills I’m not looking nor feeling as baller as I should. And I’d rather not hear about money, the collection plate and what the church will and won’t do and can it can’t do with your money during sermons. I feel you, but give it a rest for a minute please…
The Opinions and Ideas Passed On Make You Uncomfortable
I’ll never forget the feeling I had when I sat in church a few weeks ago and heard the pastor pretty much do a 10 to 15 minute rant about why gay marriage was dead wrong and how black people and gay people could never relate. This was just during announcements ya’ll. And he wasn’t even the one doing the word for the day, he just thought in passing, he would read off his iPad and put his two cents in about the recent gay marriage legislation in New York. He made some interesting points, some things I could and couldn’t agree with, but seeing as I know gay people, I wasn’t feeling the tone he was taking or the words coming out of his mouth. I took them with a grain of salt and just wished he would pass the microphone to someone else, and quickly! However, the jubilant shouts of approval from numerous members, mixed with the stone faced and somewhat disturbed looks of others who didn’t agree made for an uncomfortable service I left with mixed feelings about. And it wouldn’t be the last time he let his opinion be known on the topic. You and your pastor definitely don’t have to agree on every single thing–you can still respect him, feel his message and where it’s coming from as a voice in your community, but disagree. But when you feel like people are trying to pass their stringent beliefs on to you when you really don’t want to hear it like that, those hours in church can feel like an eternity.
Your Church Does WAY Too Much For a Little Too Long
I’m all for a dope choir to get my blood moving and excited to praise the Lord. And I understand that when you’re feeling it, sometimes you’re REALLY feeling it. But there’s something off the chain (and not necessarily in a good way) about watching an entire service go by with people dancing, running around the building in circles and screaming out of joy (which I’m not trying to hate on) LONG after the song of praise has ended. And I mean the kind that when it’s done for so long, the word is reduced to about 20 minutes with a few praise breaks in between just in case you weren’t crunk enough the first few times around. I want to praise and clap and sing as much as the next person, but at some point order has to be restored and we have to get on with things. When it’s not, expect to see a service sprinkled with tambourine solos, vintage wash boards and an awkward period of laying hands that goes on for way too long.
You Encounter Too Many Mean and Nasty People
Gossip is hard enough to avoid in everyday life, but you would hope and think you could dodge it in the house of the Lord. Psych! Let someone walk in wearing an outfit members don’t agree with, or with a new boo, or…for any reason actually, and even if people don’t know your name they’ll always be a few folks in the church that let their tongues slip about you. Some people attribute a church full of gossip and mess to a weak pastor, but in all honesty, people are going to talk when they want to and how they want to. If anything about you threatens them or is a little too different for their tastes, expect some whispers to go on around your way. It’s not a good look, but best believe gossip in the church is nothing new my dear. But if every Sunday or at every bible study and event you feel like all eyes and words are on and about you to the point you don’t like showing up, it might be time to either confront someone about it or move on.
Your Building is Either Way Too Big or Way Too Small
It’s nice to wake up in the morning, eat some breakfast and take your time getting to church. It makes the experience ten times easier to enjoy and relish in when you’re relaxed, when your mind is clear, and when you’re on time. But when you go to a small church with more members than they have seats, every morning you get ready for service is a panic. Wake up too late, get to church after announcements have been made and you can expect to either get separated from your family and be forced to sit by yourself, or find yourself in the crowded multi-purpose room at the back of the church watching the service. No one, and I mean, no one, likes to do that. Especially when you can watch Creflo Dollar and them at home on a television screen in your pajamas! And don’t even get me started about megachurches, where getting seated for service is like getting prepared for a Knicks game at Madison Square Garden. It’s hard to find a church that’s in between, but I don’t think it would hurt to keep looking for one if you really not feeling it.
Your Pastor Has That Shady Vibe Going On…
And by shady, we’re not just talking Bishop Eddie Long shady, walking around with scandals tied to his name. Rather, the kind of shady leader who looks and acts shady when they think no one is looking. The one whose hair stays overly-oiled and who is living larger than most of the congregation in his big house and even bigger car funded in ways you don’t know about or can’t track. Don’t forget the ones who talk money out of people’s hands as if they’re talking them out of their drawers–those are the ones that make you want to run in the opposite direction. Granted, most pastors are not like this, but I’m sure you know or have seen a few that are, and have in turn rubbed you sooooo the wrong way. Run!
