8 Questions Women Ask Men That Sound Like Nails On A Chalkboard - Page 11
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Is this information that important? Will the answer change anything? Do you really want to know? Is this question rhetorical? Is the answer obvious? These are just some of the things you might want to ask yourself before you ask your partner some other questions. Curiosity not only kills the cat, it can also kill your sex life, your sense of security in a relationship, and your ability not to stare at your man’s phone screen every time he gets a text message. There are also some things we ask our partner that, well, make him feel like we’re talking down to him. Here are eight questions women ask men that sound like nails on a chalkboard.
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Did you date her?
He runs into another woman when he’s out with you. They have a rapport. They riff. They make banter. Then they become strikingly aware of the fact that they are riffing and having banter in front of you and cut to a curt goodbye. So you have to ask, “Did you date her?”
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Why he can’t win
If he lies, you’ll find out. You have Facebook. You have your sources. If he says yes, then you have access to information that NO man EVER wants a current girlfriend to have access to exactly what his ex looks, talks, walks, and acts like. He knows you will compare yourself to her eternally, or make backhanded jabs at her appearance. He has to apologize for literally existing, and running into an ex. You’re better off not knowing.
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Did you sleep with her?
Eeeeeeeeeek. Maybe he doesn’t have banter with the woman he runs into. Maybe she straight up gives him, “We should f-ck again” eyes. So, you have to ask.
Why he can’t win
If he says, “Yes” then you’ll feel like he treats women like meat–he just slept with her, huh? But if he corrects you and says, “Well no, we dated…” then you’re back to square one of finding out about his exes.
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Did you (insert chore he has clearly not done here)?
Take out the trash, clean the dishes, refill the dog’s water bowl, fold the laundry–you name it. And whatever it is, you’re staring at it, and it is clearly not done.
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Why he can’t win
Don’t ask your partner if he did something he obviously didn’t do. You’re both adults; you should give him some freedom to accomplish tasks on his own time. When you ask him if he has done a certain chore yet, he feels like you’re his mom implying, “Then you shouldn’t be playing video games!’
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Do you see a future with me?
Perfectly normal thing to wonder about with a man you’ve been dating for a while. But should you have to ask?
Why he can’t win
Even if he absolutely envisions a future with you, he feels like you are testing him by asking him this question. If he’s made it apparent he sees a future with you (by doing things like discussing what neighborhoods it would be nice to live in together) then he’ll feel like he got no credit for doing that. You’ve also just asked him a question that he has no choice but to say yes to. Even if his honest answer is yes, nobody appreciates that type of entrapment.
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What’s your type?
I’m not quite sure why women ask their partners this question; if he’s with you, clearly you are at least one of his types.
Why he can’t win
If he describes a woman that is exactly like you, then you either won’t trust his answer, or you’ll think you’re just one more in a long history of that type. If he describes a woman who is at all different from you, he will be in major trouble.
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Would any of my friends be good for your friends?
You want to set up one of your friends with one of his friends. How sweet! Just do the math for your guy, though, and say, “I think this specific friend of mine would be good for this specific friend of yours.”
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What would you think if I quit my job to be a wife/mother?
You just laid out forty land mines filled with misogyny, sexism, and stereotypes. And you asked him to take a walk through them.
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Why he can’t win
If he supports the idea, you might think that all along he has wanted a stay-at-home partner who didn’t have her own life. If he doesn’t’ support it, then you’ll feel like he is judging you for wanting to take a little break from it all. If he says it’s entirely up to you, then you’ll accuse him of not engaging in a big decision in your life.
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Would you still love me if I got fat/cut my hair/stopped using wrinkle cream?
Stopped doing pilates, stopped coloring your hair, stopped wearing that weave, stopped wearing makeup, stopped wearing bras, switched to granny panties and the list is endless.
Why he can’t win
As if he could ever say no to this and you wouldn’t walk out the door that instant.
