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Every woman who’s thinking about tying the knot has had a moment when she realized that “he” was never going to be able to be part of a “we.” Whether it was something he said, an outrageous thing he did, or being sick and tired of that argument you’ve had for the umpteenth time, it brought out all kind of red flags. As in, “Girl, maybe you should stop wasting your time” flags.
Sometimes feeling worthy of a bigger and better commitment means ducking out of a relationship — and then giving him time to reevaluate his feelings and get himself together. A little shaking up and a reminder of your worth could be the key to finding that the man of your dreams was there all along, and even he didn’t know it. But sometimes, a red flag is just a clear signal that things will probably go from bad to worse. Feel free to keep searching for Mr. Right if you feel funny about the following.
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When You Think About Your Future…
And you can’t see him in it.
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When Sex Is A “No”
Sometimes your hormones speak the truth even when you’re struggling to. And no one summed it up better than Olivia Wilde when she had this to said about the end of her first marriage, “I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out … And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina.”
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He Says He’s Not Ready for Marriage
You’re better off taking him at his word than hoping you can change his mind. If you both go forward thinking things will change, you’ll both end up being disappointed.
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He’s Late Again
Without texting you back to tell you what’s going on. It’s a sign that you’re low on his priority list and that it might be time to move on.
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When You Realize, You’re Happier By Yourself
Because in the timeless words of Karyn White, “I’d rather be alone than be here unhappy.”
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He Says “I Love You”
But you can’t bring yourself to say it back.
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He Passed Your Deadline
Waiting for too long can make you resent yourself and him when you’re ready and he’s not.
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He’s Flirting With The Waitress Again
Or doing whatever it is you’ve already told him is not okay. If he hasn’t learned to take your feelings into account by now, he probably never will.
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He’s Borrowing Money Again
If his lack of ambition is bothering you now, it will only get worse in the future. And money problems are notorious for ruining marriages.
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His Temper Gets Scary
Not a good thing to wait around and watch get worse. And be careful if he has exhibited one of these other warning signs of abuse.
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He Gets Nervous When You Grab A Baby
If you’re thinking about getting that question to pop, but he’s still nervous about the idea of “kids” and “forever” it might be a sign that he’s just not ready to commit.
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His Mother Tap Dances On Your Last Nerve
True love can conquer all, but in-law trouble makes couples 20 percent more likely to divorce.
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He’s Gone To Another Family Function Without You
If it’s been close to a year and you still haven’t met his parents, and there’s no good reason why, it’s a serious sign that he’s not taking you seriously just yet. And a year or more is a long time to be unsure.
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Your Gut Is Telling You “No”
Even if you can’t put your finger on the reason, it pays to trust your gut feeling.
