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by C.C. Mendoza

Everything in my world came to a screeching halt last week when my son walked in the kitchen as I was stewing chicken and said “So, Mom, I kind of just don’t understand what this sex thing is all about. Do you think we could watch a video about it?”  I didn’t let my jaw drop.  After a few stutters, I started out with some questions like “Well, what do you know about sex so far?” and “Who have you talked to about this?”  Obviously, I have three children, so I know all about sex, but I wasn’t sure where he was coming from with his questions and if I had any doubt in my mind that he was going through puberty they were officially erased.  I’d long been suspicious of his “extended stays” in the bathroom and hair that was seemed to be growing everywhere.  So, rather than wing this one (he is my first kid) I made an appointment with his pediatrician and decided to find out everything I needed to know about his pubescent youth before having “the talk” with him.  Through that conversation with Dr. Alejandro Hoberman here is a mom’s guide to boys and puberty.

Choking the Chicken

Moms, don’t freak out.  My pediatrician’s first piece of advice was that if his father is around, the subjects of masturbations and wet dream should be left to his father or a male role model.  Boys don’t like to talk to their moms about masturbation.  Nonetheless, some of us are single mamas and don’t have a choice. Dr. Hoberman said a wet dream is just a sign your son has developed sperm adequate enough to make a baby. The day dreams that often accompany the morning sticky icky are usually what causes them to start masturbating.  Signs your son is masturbating or may have had his first wet dream include constant underwear and sheet changes, spending or asking for more time alone, “extended stays” in the bathroom, constantly asking for more lotion or other moisturizing creams and daydreaming.  Some words of advice for mothers of tween boys: stop barging into his room or the bathroom when he is showering.  You will likely get an eye full.

What is that Smell?

It is seriously dangerous to walk in my son’s room sometimes.  His body odor has taken over our third floor.  Dr. Hoberman says the increased odor emanating from my son’s underarms and feet are a result of his adult sweat glands forming and his inability to address them.  One of the things I did for my son was to buy him a shower caddy.  He takes a shower twice a day (in the morning and after school), and he uses his caddy to reinforce his  shower routine.  Also, moms, no more deodorant.  If you song is a member of what we call the boff club (code word for stinky) he officially needs antiperspirant.  It’s probably time to start making your son a clean kit.  The kit should include cologne (or oils which come in roll format and stop your son from depleting the ozone layer with Axe spray), deodorant soap (Dove will not work for him anymore), lotion and facial cleanser.

Pizza Face

Everybody goes through it. The zit monster visits all young boys at night and voila! They wake up with a pizza face.  Dr. Hoberman says signs your kids acne is out of control are extreme redness or pain in the vicinity of pimples, bumps that entirely cover a certain area of your boy’s face and failure to see any progress after use of over-the-counter products.  But, if you think your son’s acne is caused by puberty, make sure they have a regular face cleansing routine that does not include using a wash rag or sponge.  These cleaning accessories carry germs that are often too sensitive for facial skin.

The Eating Dilemma

Puberty takes up about $75 of my grocery bill every month. Dr. Hoberman says during puberty boys will eat and sleep more than they ever have.  This is mostly due to a huge period of brain and body growth.  He says it is not unusual for pubescent boys to eat massive amounts in one sitting and to complain of hunger constantly. (He warns that if this eating is accompanied by an excessive exercise or long stays in the bathroom your child could be suffering from bulimia.)  Your tween boy may also begin to gain some weight in the breast area this is usually associated with the growth of their breast muscles and glands. Dr. Hoberman says helping your son stay active is the best way to ensure that their bodies are able to cope with their new eating and sleeping routines.  So, this is a great time to put him on the basketball team.

Is he crazy or is it me?

From peer pressure to strange requests and arguments with your boy, puberty will drive a mom crazy.  Dr. Hoberman says during puberty most boys are looking for two things: acceptance and purpose.  That’s why teen boys will often respond to challenges with “Well, everyone’s doing it,” and why they give in to peer pressure so easily.  In their minds the only way to gain acceptance and purpose is by doing what they believes everyone else is doing.  The doc assured me that it is normal for tweens to make unreasonable requests and basically act like crazy fools during puberty.  Dr. Hoberman encouraged me to be very comfortable saying no and began talking to my son about saying no to his friends.  One piece of advice he gave me is to make sure my son knows it is okay to lie to his friends.  For example, if one of his friends are going to have a drinking party and they ask him if he wants to come he can say “I can’t, I have to watch my brothers this weekend.”  A little white lie may be the barrier between your son and real danger.

How did you survive your son’s changing body and mind?

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