Single Moms: 7 New Year’s Resolutions - Page 8

The clock strikes midnight and we are set to set resolutions. As women, we focus on weight loss, diet and finding “the one.” On January 2, every one of your girlfriends hit the gym. They joined dating websites because they will “find a man this year.” But there’s so much more to resolutions than running on a treadmill and boy hunting, especially for single moms. From working full time to taking care of your kids alone, you have little time for yourself, never mind finding a man.

So, single mothers, this new year try a new approach to setting resolutions. I set my resolutions on January 1 and focused on seven internal goals, rather than external forces. The work always starts from within. Here are seven new years resolutions for single moms, some of them from single moms themselves.

Single Moms: 7 New Year’s Resolutions

Find Solace in the Breakup

Whether you’ve recently become a single mom, or you’ve filled that role from the very beginning, it’s difficult to find solace in a breakup. You didn’t imagine you’d raise your kid(s) alone but here you are. So, this new year set an intention of peace. Liz, a single mother of two from Boston, made this very vow. “I want to forgive my children’s father for his lack of participation in raising our children,” she told me. “It’s been a work in progress.” Liz is right. It will take work. But it’s needed to move on and be happy.

Remain in the Present Moment

Remaining in the present moment isn’t always easy, especially when your kids are running around and driving you bonkers. But when you do you’re less stressed and lash out on your kids less. If you worry about tomorrow or live in the past, you aren’t enjoying the present. Take a breath. Find gratitude in every moment of the day.  Focus on the now from here on out.

Create a Home Filled with Faith

One single mom has declared 2014 a year of faith. She vows to instill more spirituality in her home and in the lives of her children. “We don’t go to church every Sunday,” Yesenia, a 38-year-old New Yorker, said. “But I believe in God and I want to instill that faith in my kids every day,” the mother of three continued. Yesenia didn’t grow up attending mass, but as a single mom she has become closer to God. “He’s helped me through my struggles.” She wants her children to believe that a higher power will do the same for them.

Taking Some Needed “Me” Time

This isn’t the easiest of intentions but it isn’t impossible. Nothing is impossible! Stefanie, a single mother from Los Angeles, is trying to take some much needed “me” time. “I’ve made excuses,” she said. “I’ve made my daughter a crutch.” This year will be different for Stefanie. She’s found a creative solution to take time for herself to do whatever she wants, even date. “I’m opening up my lunch time and the time when my daughter is with her grandmother.” It’s a few hours in the week to relax and maybe even play.

Learn How to Replenish

“Most single moms are exhausted,” says Traci Bild, author and Founder of The Get Your Girl Back movement. And she’s right! Bild suggests to “resolve to find time, even if just 20 minutes a day, to restore and rebalance.” You don’t have to take an entire day for you but you must rest to recharge. “You can walk or meditate. Anything to calm the mind,” Traci advices. “It could be biking as well. Something, anything that gives mom time alone, with quiet and nature to restore her soul.”

Learn to Say No Guilt Free

Women struggle with the word “no.” We don’t want to reject others or disappoint. A friend asks us for a favor and we say, “sure.” A relative begs us to go shopping and we are by their side, running around the mall, yawning and somewhat present. This has to stop. In this new year, Bild suggests to “resolve to let guilt go and acknowledge that you are doing your best with the resources you have.” Saying “no” when you cannot do something doesn’t make you a terrible person. As a single mom you are everything to your kids. You can’t be everything to everyone.