Everyone who’s ever taken a beginning psych course or opened a parenting book knows about positive reinforcement. You reward a child with a treat or a compliment for doing something good. Now, a new study from Ohio State University says all the praise might not be a good thing. In fact, for children with low self-esteem, the kids who need praise the most, too much praise can make things worse.
Researchers at the university found that parents were more likely to give inflated praise to kids with low self-esteem. Kids with higher self-esteem were praised in the study, too, but they thrived with all those “good jobs” while kids with less confidence didn’t. The pats on the back seemed to actually backfire. But what exactly is inflated praise? According to researchers,
For this research, it was small changes in the praise given to children, often involving just the addition of one additional word. Inflated praise included an adverb (such as “incredibly”) or adjective (such as “perfect”) signaling a very positive evaluation. For example, “you’re good at this” was simple praise, while “you’re incredibly good at this” was considered inflated praise.
It seemed that when kids with low self-esteem heard “you’re incredibly good at this”, they thought they had to be incredibly good all the time and were less likely to try things that they might not be good at all the time. Researchers conclude it’s just too much pressure.
The study’s authors say parents and teachers should curb the impulse to tell shy, not-confident kids they’re the best, even though that’s their first impulse.
Do you worry about your child’s self-esteem?
