Niecy Nash Addresses Critics Of Her ‘Blow Job A Day’ Marital Advice: “I Keep A Job And A Man, So I’m Doing Something Right’
Some are under the impression that you feel oral sex and food are the only things that a married man needs to be happy, so I wanted to give you the opportunity to sort of clear that up for the folks who may be sort of running with that.
Well people who take that one sentence and take it as a literal application, to that I would say lighten up and be easy. There’s a little more ingredients in the stew. The original title, well what I wanted to the be title [of my book] lives in chapter three, which was Stomach Full, Penis Empty: A Woman’s Guide To A Happy Marriage. That was the original title. My publishers and I went back and forth and we landed on It’s Hard To Fight Naked. Do I think literally that’s all it takes? No. But you’ve got to remember that I’m a comedian. So the tone of my book is very funny, but it does have a lot of takeaway. What I would invite people to do is read the book in its entirety and then make a judgment statement. I talk about women who are in a relationship with God and then get into a sexual relationship with a man that goes against their religion. I talk about that in the book too. Ain’t nobody bringing that up. Where are the people running to the roar of that? That’s a real part of what the book talks about. It talks about surviving a divorce. I talk about Internet dating. I mean, I literally was an Internet dater.
There’s another falsehood that if you’re a celebrity, it’s easy to get a man. I tell women literally how to navigate your way on the Internet to have the best possible outcome. There are so many things in the book. There’s so much more than that one tiny thing. In my heart of hearts, I understand that you have to want the same things that a person you’re trying to live the rest of your life out with wants. That’s why the very first thing in the book isn’t even about a blow job. It says that you are going to attract what you are, so you better be what you want to see because that’s what’s going to show up. I just think we live in a day and time where people flock to the sensational. ‘I can’t believe you said this,’ ‘I can’t believe you did that,’ because those things are sensational, but sex is not new.
And I want to tell you what, I want people to stop being so prudish about it. It doesn’t mean you can’t love God and still be a sexual being. He made you that way. And I want you to trust and believe when Adam laid down in that dust and they clicked that rib out and made Eve, and he opened his eyes and saw all that goodness and she looked down and saw what he was working with, she had to figure out what to do with that thang! So this is nothing new. I want people to do two things and both of them is knock it off. And stop acting like you never did it before! And if you didn’t do it and you don’t do it…okay, let me just stop there.
Are you sure you want to stop?
Yeah. Yes, because you know, people like to act like, ‘What? What?’ It’s okay for you to do it behind closed doors, but it’s wrong for someone else to admit that they do it? You better stop it right now because I’m everybody’s Woman Crush Wednesday. Get into that.
What are your thoughts on people acting as though your book gave them a right to speak on your marriage and your situation?
Well you know, social media is a very interesting thing. Years ago, if you had an opinion about someone you didn’t know, you just talked about it at the beauty shop or your auntie’s house when y’all were having a card party. You did not have the platform to be able to say, ‘I’m going to go out and tell the world what I think about you.’ I just think it comes with the territory today. I’m fine if people have an opinion about it, but what I would ask is that you have an informed opinion. You can’t make a decision about something you haven’t read in its entirety. How do you do that? And if you ask anybody who knows me, the first thing that they would probably say is that ‘She’s in love with love.’ The second thing that they would say is ‘She really is her brother and her sister’s keeper.’
People who know me know me more for, with the busy schedule that I have, taking the time out to hear their hearts, to pray for their concerns, to get many of them jobs. That’s also a part that’s rooted in who I am. But you know, often times, the parts of you that are the most pure are the ones that are the least talked about on social media. You could spend all week taking your daughter to school, but the minute they see you on Instagram at a party in a low-cut dress, that’s the part they’re talking about. So I guess I would say that I’m fine with you talking and having a conversation, but just do it from an informed place. Read my book. Watch my reality show, ‘Leave It To Niecy.’ Watch interviews that I’ve done with my husband. Then what you got to say about it?
Any last words?
I’m going to do what I have to do to keep my marriage tight and right. So if it doesn’t work for you, that’s why many people have advice. If you hear what everybody has to say about love and relationships…you have Steve Harvey, Niecy Nash, tons of experts speaking to love and life and promoting it the way that they are. In your own mind, you’re supposed to take all of this information in and take the meat and leave the bones. Take the part that works for you. You may say, ‘I’ll take chapter three from Niecy and I’ll take chapter five from Steve Harvey.’ You may go over to this person and this website and take that. And then, the rest of it you may get from your mama. You have options. I’m not saying that I’m an authority on anything, I’m just telling you what I find works for me and mine.
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise.
