From Your Tango
By: Paula Mooney
When I was a silly little 22-year-old, freshly graduated from college in 1991, I eloped on the shores of Panama City Beach, Florida. High from too much weed, giggly all giddy-like while serious marital vows were being spoken over me, I didn’t think about the months and years to come – and how distance would affect my new marriage. With that marriage, I didn’t have to pursue the man who would become my ex-husband. He chose me. Thank the good Lord above and inside that union ended in divorce, as it should have ended.
Before long, I’d be remarried – but I wouldn’t say outright that I had to chase after that man to land him, either. In fact, I believe in just the opposite. Those Facebook viral photos of a woman on her knees proposing marriage to her boyfriend kind of make me cringe inside. I’ve always believed that a woman should wait for a man to show interest in her, but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t let him know – in subtle yet obvious and ladylike ways – that she likes him.
Therefore, when the dating site Millionaire Match asked, “Is it a turn-off to men when a lady pursues them?” they received interesting answers on both sides.
This writer would land squarely on the side of yes – even though I’m not a man. However, as a female, I’ve learned that it helps to wait for a man to make the first move. If he’s shy, throwing on a nice dress and pretty make-up doesn’t hurt to get his attention, but as far as pressuring him for a date – that just seems desperate to me. Men know what they want and if they are really into us, they’ll find a way to make it happen.
Of course, us Christians like to point to the fact that the Bible says that “he who finds a wife finds a good thing,” a verse that insinuates that it’s the man who does the looking, not the female that’s on a major hunt for a husband. (Even if she is, she doesn’t need to look like a Needful Nelly all the time.)