Questions You Should Ask Your “Rainbeau Man” Before You Get Serious

February 1, 2011  |  

More Americans are dating and marrying interracially than ever before in American history, according to a Pew Research Study released in June 2010.  Interestingly enough, the report indicates that Black men are marrying Becky, Su Lin, Maria, or Harnisha 22 percent of the time.  But black women still lag behind in the swirling pool, intermarrying at only 9 percent, but those numbers are up from 4 percent since, well, the last time they checked.


Many African-American women are reluctant to try “something new” for a variety of reasons, ranging from lingering scars of slavery, an unfamiliarity or reluctance to intermingle with other cultures, and–here’s the biggie–unflagging loyalty to the brothas.

But here’s a news flash in case you missed it–black men seem to have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM dating all races, cultures and creeds.  So if you’re thinking you might just see what all the hoopla is for yourself, and you’re interested in being more than a “jump-off,” you might want to stealthily ask your rainbeau interest a few questions before you fill all those eggs into the basket.

Warning: “Don’t really ask direct questions, instead make comments that encourage him to talk, and be sure to leave him a lot of time to come up with his answers.  If you’re really verbal, you might be too fast for him, and unintentionally shut him down, especially about delicate or uncomfortable subjects,” recommends Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., “Dr. Romance” psychotherapist and author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage.

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