Put The List Away: 14 Signs Your Expectations Are Too High

September 5, 2013  |  
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There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, yet when you’re venturing out in the dating world, you’re looking for absolute perfection. While there is nothing wrong with having high expectations for the men you date and eventually get into relationships with, sometimes having too high of expectations can have just the opposite effect of what you’re looking to achieve. Here are 14 signs that your expectations are too high and it’s time to reconsider.

You want you in male form

When it comes time to find a man who you’re willing to date and maybe settle down with for a little while, you’re looking for someone who can mimic you. You want a man who likes the same things you do, has similar career aspirations, has the same exact morals, and has the same future vision. While having similarities is important, you’ll find it’s extremely hard to find a man who is exactly like you. Your expectations are too high if you’re looking for a you in male form.

All of your past relationships have been short

When you look back and think, you have never really had a long-term relationship. You’ve maybe dated a guy for a few months but eventually things crumbled and fell apart. The reason you may not be able to hold onto a man for a long period of time may be because your expectations are too high. Having too high of expectations can cause all sorts of tension and frustration in a relationship when men who are trying their hardest still can’t please you.

Your deal breakers are all superficial

Every woman has those things that she just does not want in a man. Who wants a guy who doesn’t work and plays video games all day? Or who wants a man with no aspirations in life? However, for you, your deal breakers are all extremely superficial. You refuse to a date a man who isn’t at least 6’0 and you won’t date a man who doesn’t  have a chiseled body. When your deal breakers are superficial, it’s likely that your expectations are too high. Remember, everyone has flaws, so cut them a little slack.

You’re looking for a man you can mold

When you go on a date or get into a relationship, you know in your heart and in your mind that you’re looking to mold and change this guy to fit your idea of a perfect man. You purposefully don’t date men who seem extremely stuck in their ways and unwilling to change. When your expectations are too high you do anything and everything you can in order to mold a man to mess perfectly into your wants and needs.

You expect dates to go exactly as you envision it

Before a date, you have this fairytale in your head that plays over and over again. You meet this handsome man and he’s a gentleman. He’s also everything you’ve been looking for. But when you do go on dates with these high expectations of a perfect night you’re often let down. First dates rarely go as planned. Everyone is awkward and just because things didn’t go super smooth doesn’t mean the evening was a total bust.

You want a mind reader

You’re one of those women who isn’t too good at communicating what she feels and thinks. Instead, when you’re angry, sad, or upset about something, you expect the man in your life to be able to figure it out all on his own. Women who want mind readers often have extremely high expectations that not many men are able to surpass, let alone live up to. Communication is important in any relationship and expecting a mind reader just won’t fly.

You’re looking for someone to complete you

You are convinced that there is this one single man out there just waiting for you to find him so that he can complete you as a person and as a woman. You have this idea that this man is your soul mate and he’ll be able to fulfill all of your wants and needs. If this is your true way of thinking, you have a lot of learning to do and you’ll find yourself nothing short of single. If you’re looking towards someone else to make you happy, you’ll never be completely happy. Happiness has to come from within.

You dream of movie and fairytale romances

Fairytales are exactly that, and the relationships you see in the movies are nothing like the real ones you will experience. Love and relationships should never be based on fantasy ideas. Having these ideas in your brain sets you up for failure because when your relationship isn’t on par, it’s a shortfall and you pawn the relationship off as being bad or untrue. Your expectations are too high when your brain is focused on fake and fantasy relationships and love.

You’re looking for Mr. Good on Paper

Even if Mr. Right passes you by on a daily basis, you don’t pay him a single ounce of attention let alone make eye contact with him. You’re too busy looking for Mr. Good in Paper, a man who makes other women jealous and who looks like the ultimate catch because of his good looks, good job, and good bank account. Instead of opening your eyes a little and realizing that the one may be right in front of you, your expectations are too high and you’re blinded by fake reality.

Your expectations haven’t changed

A huge sign that your expectations are too high is the fact that they haven’t changed from when you first started dating until now. After dating for months or years, your expectations and wants from a man should definitely have changed. If your expectations are the same as what they were two years ago, this is a big clue that you have set them way too high and even you don’t know how to lower or change them.

Personality comes second

To you, a man’s physical make up and social status are the most important. You’re not extremely worried that he’s funny or caring because you just really want a man who can take care of you and provide for you. The fact is that physical and social statuses will change and deplete over time, as well a man’s bank account. When a man’s personality isn’t at the top of your list, not only are your expectations way out of line, they’re also probably extremely high. When your expectations are too high, you may find a man with a good job, a nice car, and a nice body, but in the end he may be extremely disrespectful.

You’re quick to notice a man’s flaws

Instead of looking at the good things that a man has to offer you, when you’re on a date or in a relationship, you immediately pinpoint and harp on his flaws. When your expectations are too high you’re more likely to be able to not only pick out a man’s flaws, but you’re more likely to dwell on them. Even if this man has tons of good qualities about him, you’re more likely to nitpick his flaws.

You speak about a lot of “ifs”

When you’re casually dating a man or when you’re in a serious relationship, you often speak using a lot of ifs. For instance, “if you really liked me, you’d take me to Vegas” or “if you really wanted to get to know each other you’d spend every weekend with me.” Speaking in terms of ifs shows that in your mind you have these set expectations that you’re looking for this guy to meet, and when he doesn’t meet them, they come out in what you say. If you can only think and speak in ifs, your expectations are too high.

You’re getting rejected a lot

Once you’ve dated men here and there, you’ll find that word will get around that you’re one of those women who has extremely high expectations. In the end, if your expectations are too high, they will inevitably work against you. Instead of men flocking and clinging to you, you’ll find that you’re the one getting rejected. This is specifically true for online dating and your profile just screams picky.

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