Are You Coming On Too Strong? Flirting Mistakes That Women Often Make

August 6, 2012  |  
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Some of us are flawless at flirting: suggestive winks, courteous nods and charming smiles are mastered in order to rouse the intricate interpersonal footwork that is flirtation. But, for most women, it’s difficult to know what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to doing such a dance. We get so caught up in trying to impress someone that all of our cool points go out of the window. Fortunately for you, we’ve made a list of mistakes that women have been known to make when giving someone the eye, so you can try avoiding making them yourself–again.

Being Too Sexually Suggestive

While it’s alright to show a bit of flesh and tease a bit, you never want to lure a man with pure sexual innuendo because, to put it nicely, he might think that you’re a h*e, and that you would be down for taking things back to his place (and hitting the bedroom). Erotically licking your lips, talking up your sexual experiences, performing the breathy and deep ‘Adult Video star’ voice and visible undergarments are all quick ways for him to get the wrong idea and think that you’re easy.

Eager Beaver

It’s understandable to have a heightened sense of awareness concerning your prospective love interest, and to have the desire to be where he is, but you should never follow someone around or continuously make an effort to be where he is. First of all, it takes too much energy to physically stalk people (that’s what Facebook is for…kidding!), and you could spend that energy doing something productive; secondly, it makes you look really desperate. On top of that, you shouldn’t come off too strong with a new guy, holding on to him and acting as though you’ve been dating for years. You don’t know him like that. Play it cool, girl.

Bending the Truth About Yourself

You may want to impress your new prospective boo, but don’t feel the need to lie about who you are. The natural desire to exaggerate a bit is understandable, perhaps even acceptable, but there is a line that can be crossed. Don’t say that you love sports if the last time that you saw a basketball game was when Michael Jordan was playing for the Bulls; and don’t say exaggerate your interest in hip-hop music if you think the Maybach Music Group is actually a special group or new sector of the Mercedes-Benz car company.

Doin’ the Dummy

Yes, there is a thriving misconception that some don’t like intelligent women, however, despite the truth in that, that’s never an excuse to dumb down how intelligent you are. When you deduct your intelligence from the equation, men are left only to rely on your looks. Intelligence is a huge part of your character. You should think enough of yourself to share your complete personality with the person that you’re interested in, and if that’s too much for him, then you dodged a bullet. Also, on the topic of dumbing yourself down, stray away from the “baby voice” that some women like to adopt and laughing at any and everything that comes out of a man’s mouth.

Chatty Cathy

When you’re talking with someone…flirting or not…you never want to completely dominate the conversation. Nerves or excitement can be the reason behind overzealous babble, which is understandable. But if you spend a great deal of time diving into personal details and not asking about him and his personal details, then know that the object of your affection will probably think that you’re self-centered. Instead, practice active listening and definitely ask questions .


Forwardness is fine, but there is a difference between being forward and blatant aggression. If your idea of flirting is to be mean, hit him or make jokes about him that aren’t funny but annoying after a while, know that that is a bit elementary. Being nervous might bring out such behavior, but it’s definitely not cute. Schoolyard rules go out of window after 12th grade. And, while some men appreciate bossy, obnoxious and demanding women, most don’t.


It’s important to offer details about your life, because that’s part of the dance, but make sure not to share too much, dear. Some things should be saved until you know someone a bit more, and some things should just be saved. For example: don’t let him in on your nighttime regimen, the gas milk gives you, and don’t clue him in about the ins and outs of your period. Well, at least not initially.

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