Ease Up: Why You Don’t Want To Be The Over-Eager New Girlfriend

July 27, 2012  |  

I’m no relationship expert, but if there is one thing I know it’s that there is probably no greater feeling than falling in love. Your heart flutters when his name pops up on your phone. Laying next to him has to rival Snoop Dogg’s greatest high. And time seems to play dead when you’re not with him. Let’s face it, its hard not to lose ourselves in new relationships. All of our hope Does and dreams when we we’re single seem to be coming into fruition, and in giving into our passions we can’t help but try to rush them along. We want to prove to our men that we are 100 percent committed to them, and we want to be that faithful, catering girlfriend brothers love to brag about. But, in all this rushing and excitement, we might be doing too much to prove our loyalty and love.

Ladies, we need stop overextending our services so early in our relationships. I understand your boyfriend may have just learned that he needs to separate the coloreds from the whites when he does laundry, but that doesn’t mean you need to go out of your way to do it for him. And yes, he hasn’t had a decent, home-cooked meal since he saw his mama last Thanksgiving, but that does not call for you to have dinner waiting for him every, single night. Being in the honeymoon phase of your love, I can understand how such intense feelings may bring out your nurturing side. But believe me, there is no need to rush into playing house. You’re in the first quarter of the game so enjoy it. He doesn’t know how to do laundry? Make a date of it. Go to your local laundromat with both of your respective clothing items and teach him how to do his laundry while you do your own. You may not want him to see your granny panties so soon, but having him see them now is a much smaller risk than playing wife without the ring — or title.

I know, you think he’s the one. Your girlfriends think he’s the one. And you think he thinks your the one too. So logically he should prove it by having you meet his family, right? Girl, no. Demanding to meet your new boyfriend’s family is a sure-fire way to get on the express highway to breakup-ville. Although most men admit having their lady-love meet their mom is not a milestone in their lives, it doesn’t mean it’s your right to demand to be invited over to mommy dearest’s home.  Just as you are navigating these new waves you find yourself in, so is your boyfriend. Let him figure out when he is comfortable having you over for Sunday dinners and family get-togethers. Besides, shouldn’t you take the time to learn all the intricate details of your man’s life and character before his mother, aunties and everybody else in his family tree grills you about them?

Or let’s say Friday night is traditionally your girl’s night out and his time to go out with the boys, but you’ve been dying to see this new movie that’s out, and of course you want your boo to take you. You don’t care that you’ve seen him every evening this week, or that both of you already had individual plans — you want to go! Ma’am, please put on your best dress and head on out with your girlfriends. Its common and expected to want to be under your cheri amour all day, everyday, but you must respect that he is still his own person as are you. You have a new amazing addition to your life, but he wasn’t the missing piece to your puzzle. You were whole before he came, and if he leaves you’ll still be whole. Go out, have fun. Keep doing the things you were doing before he came along. Keep your identity as separate from his as possible. This will prevent you from tiring of him — and keep him from running for the hills.

Love is precious and when we find it we want to grasp on with both hands and never let go. But what is meant to be will be. Enjoy your new boyfriend, enjoy that new pep in your step, but refrain from jumping in to quick or asking him for what he may not be ready to give. Love is hard to find, but easy to lose.

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