The Healing Power Of A Well-Placed Spank — Yes, Really
Is Spanking The New Self-Care? The Kinky Practice Is Becoming The Sexiest New Form Of Therapy
Can spanking during sex function as a form of therapy? According to sex experts, the kinky practice can offer meaningful health benefits when approached with intention, safety, and consent.
Healthline explains that spanking therapy can involve any style of BDSM spanking, but what makes it therapeutic is the “intention” behind it, says Lateef Taylor, a pleasure-based, queer-inclusive kink educator.
“Just like all therapy, for it to count as spanking therapy, you have to go into it with the intention to move through something,” Taylor told Healthline during a 2020 interview.
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When practiced mindfully, spanking can support a range of emotional and psychological goals, including creating a sense of release, exploring power dynamics, processing trauma or negative emotions, tapping into one’s potential, and experiencing pleasure or power exchange.
Spanking can be used as a tool to reduce stress and anxiety.
Lisa Finn, a Brooklyn-based sex educator at Babeland, says it can even relieve stress and anxiety.
“While it may sound counterintuitive, for some people, ‘impact play’ like spanking can actually help reduce feelings of stress and anxiety through pain, or as many players would term it, ‘intense sensation,’ ” Finn told the New York Post.
Because it requires presence and focus, impact play can interrupt anxious or racing thoughts, particularly for people with ADHD or anxiety disorders.
“Controlled painful stimuli trigger the release of endorphins and endocannabinoids, which are like the body’s natural painkillers and mood boosters,” Finn explained. “When combined with the rush of hormones released during sexual arousal, pain can register as pleasure, turning intense sensation into something that feels desirable.”
For those who are stressed or curious about kink or spanking as a therapeutic outlet, Finn says impact play is a gentle entry point.
“Spanking is a great way to start exploring BDSM,” she said. “It’s an extremely versatile act — it can be playful or intense and is extremely easy to adjust.”
It’s important to establish boundaries like pain tolerance levels and a safe word beforehand, says Finn.
To establish comfort and control, she suggests partners use a 1–10 scale. “After each spank, the receiving partner calls out a number: 1 meaning ‘barely felt it’ and 10 meaning ‘too painful,’ ” she added, “This helps both partners calibrate intensity, since what feels like a 5 to one person might feel like a 10 to another.”
Because responses to sensation vary widely, communication and consent are essential in any scene. “There is a process called pre-scene negotiation, in which partners discuss expectations, boundaries, and desires for the scene, as well as prepare any needed aftercare,” Finn said. “This is also when the essential safe word is agreed upon.” She stresses the importance of reviewing physical, emotional, and psychological limits before diving in.
“If you’re approaching BDSM in the context of mental health, it should always be done under the guidance of a kink-aware professional, such as a sex therapist, social worker, or counselor,” she stressed. “In addition, the partner should be fully trustworthy,” Lisa Finn noted during her interview with the New York Post.
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