Tales From TikTok: Dating Coach Says Black Women Are ‘Happier’ With White Men — And He Might Be Onto Something
Dating expert Anwar White said Black woman–white man couples have the lowest divorce rates, citing economic and social factors behind their success. Do you agree with his take?
Dating coach Anwar White sparked an interesting conversation in an Oct. 8 Instagram video, responding to a viral stitch in which a social media user asked why Black women who were formerly with a Black man and now in a relationship with a white man seem much “happier.” In his reply, Anwar broke down a few theories for his followers on Instagram and TikTok with regard to the topic, noting that Black women married to white men experience one of the “lowest” divorce rates in the U.S.
While it may sound controversial—especially for those of us who deeply value our Black kings—studies have confirmed that Black woman/white man couples do tend to have higher marriage success rates than some might assume. A 2008 study by researchers Jenifer L. Bratter and Rosalind B. King explored marital instability in Black/white unions and found notable trends. Notably, Black wife/white husband marriages were 44% less likely to end in divorce by year 10 of the marriage, compared to white wife/white husband marriages over the same period.
According to Anwar, there are several key dynamics contributing to this. One factor, he claims, is that white men often “love deeper” when in relationships with Black women due to societal pressures.
“One, if a white man is actually engaged, married to, or dating a Black woman, please understand that there is a deeper love there, because he is having to actually fight against societal pressures and indoctrination and go through all of the stares and the rude comments to be with you—and vice versa.”
He also pointed out that white men may be more open-minded in their relationships, particularly around gender roles.
“If that man has such an open mindedness about him, he is going to be less concerned about gender roles, and help out around the house and do things that maybe an alpha male or a hyper masculine, energetic person wouldn’t necessarily do.”
Anwar further noted that economic factors also play a role in the dynamics between Black women and Black men. He explained that disparities in education and income levels can influence the success rate of Black marriages and relationships, mentioning that Black men, on average, graduate at lower rates and earn less than white men, which is true, statistically.
Black men face unique challenges that can impact their journey to marriage.
While Anwar didn’t delve deeply into the roots of these disparities, it’s important to recognize the systemic challenges Black men face, challenges that a supportive Black queen can help navigate. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ July report, the weekly median earnings for quarter 2 in 2025 were $1,053 for Black men and $1,357 for white men, a clear indication that the wage gap is real, but education plays a major role in this disparity. Black students often face barriers in obtaining a college education, which is critical for boosting income.
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According to UNCF, these challenges start early in high school, where only 57% of Black students have access to the full range of high school courses needed for college prep, compared to 81% of Asian American and 71% of white students. Notably, many Black students often attend schools that are under-resourced K–12, which can impact their road to college and marriage later on.
Even when Black men are admitted to and graduate from college, many carry significant debt to pursue their dreams. On average, Black bachelor’s degree holders owe $52,726 in student loans—one of the highest debt burdens by race. This lack of early academic support makes graduating from college—and later achieving financial stability and marriage—more difficult for many Black men. Still, this doesn’t mean they’re not capable or willing to grow.
We hear you, Anwar, but we can’t give up on our kings!
While some white men may appear more “marriage-ready” due to higher incomes or fewer systemic barriers, there are plenty of good Black men out there—men who are building financial stability or have already achieved it, defying the odds. Many are actively working on emotional growth and partnership skills, and some are already fully prepared for love and commitment. These men are helping around the house, open-minded, and creating safe, supportive spaces for their queens. Let’s not forget that.
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And as one woman noted in the comments section, not all white men are the “right” men. There are quite a few well-known alpha or hyper-masculine white men out there right now that many of us wouldn’t want to be married to—or in a relationship with. One person commented that while her white fiancé was “amazing,” she wouldn’t advertise Anwar’s theory as “not all white men are safe to be around.”
The user added, “I got lucky.”
There are still strong, loving Black kings out there. Don’t count them out when it comes to love and marriage.
