To The Black Girl Avoiding The Pool Party: A Love Letter

Let’s cut the fluff—sis, it’s hot. You deserve the water.

Not next summer. Not after you lose 10 pounds. Not when your weave is laid or your lashes are perfect. Now.

This is a tough‑love moment wrapped in love. Because if you wait for the “perfect” time to show up, you might just miss the whole summer—and those special moments in your life.

Joy doesn’t need a checklist. It lives in belly rolls, stretch marks, new braids, natural roots, postpartum flips—all of it. This message isn’t about size. It’s for the girl rating the Love Island bods and wondering if she fits; for the teen afraid boys won’t look twice; for the mom missing her pre-baby shape; for the woman who’s working on her goals but feels like she’s not there yet.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

Your feelings are valid, and you aren’t alone in them. According to Psychology Today, 46% of women say they feel insecure in swimsuits—and 33% would rather go to the dentist than hit the pool.

We’ve all been there. I can’t tell you the countless number of cover-ups get worn in the water. But the time is now! Show us that beautifully melanated skin. 

Seasonal depression is real, not just during cuffing season. Research on “body dissatisfaction spikes in summer,” says that nearly 70% of women report intensified self-critique as swimsuit season nears.

The moment the sun comes out, the comparison game begins. Group chats about beach days. Posts about body goals. Ads pushing “quick fixes.” Even if you were feeling fine in February, June can shake that.

According to Dove’s Self‑Esteem Project, a March 2022 study of over 1,000 girls aged 10–17 found that 52% say toxic beauty advice on social media causes low self-esteem, and 90% follow at least one account that makes them feel less beautiful.

Let’s be honest—filtered feeds do hit different. The more we scroll, the more things can get murky. What starts as inspiration quickly can become intimidation. But comparison is the thief of joy. These stats don’t expose weakness—they confirm how much pressure is being placed on all of us.

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