Autism Isn’t An Insult—So Why Are We Talking About Beyoncé’s Twins Like It Is? [Op-Ed] - Page 2

RELATED CONTENT: Wendy Williams Tearfully Thanks Supporters At #FreeWendy Rally Amid Her Ongoing Guardianship Battle

If you’re uncomfortable watching a Black child wave with joy on stage, Barbarin makes clear: the problem isn’t the child. It’s the lens you’ve been handed.

Respectability and the Pressure to Be Exceptional

There’s one more layer here we have to name: the role of respectability politics.

Dr. Shanter Alexander, a school psychologist and professor at Howard University, researches the barriers Black neurodivergent kids face in accessing support. In a feature with Howard Magazine, she explained how deeply ingrained cultural pride and survival tactics often silence conversations around difference.

“We don’t want to seem like we’re not making it,” she says. “Therefore, we don’t ask for help. We ‘pray it away.’ We present well and push our kids to present well, too.”

That’s the trap. Respectability tells us that our children have to be exceptional just to be accepted—and if they’re different? We fear how the world will treat them. That fear is real. However, it can’t justify erasing their truth.

We can love our children and make room for them to be fully themselves—wiggles, arm flaps, hyperfocus, tics, joy, all of it.