Master The Art Of Sexting With These 5 Sizzling Tips
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Sexting can be a fun and effective way to keep the spark alive in your relationship, both before and after intimacy. It’s especially great for those who might feel shy or unsure about talking dirty in the bedroom. Whether you’re trying it for the first time or looking to enhance your sexual communication with your partner, there are a few key guidelines to keep in mind to become a pro at sexting.
Here are five tips that will help you take your sext game to the next level.
1. Start slow and gauge their interest.
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Ease into it with light, flirty messages to set the mood. You don’t have to dive straight into explicit content. Build anticipation gradually. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, Ph.D., a sexual and relational communication professor at California State University, told SELF in an article published Feb. 14, that you can start lightly sexting by giving your partner sweet compliments like, “Your energy is so sexy,” or playfully tease them with phrases such as “Guess what I’m wearing right now?”
Dr. Gigi Engle, A COSRT-registered sex and relationships psychotherapist based in the United Kingdom added to the publication that before you plunge right into sexting, make sure that there’s mutual interest between you and your partner. Get consent first, by asking them directly if they want to talk dirty or flirty over text.
“Chatting about it beforehand can also help remove some of the trepidation you might feel about firing off that first message.” Engle also shared that your partner will be “less likely to be confused by it or shut you down if you’ve talked it through.”
2. Be creative and use descriptive language.
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Use your imagination. Play around with fantasies, teasing remarks, or inside jokes to keep things light-hearted and engaging, with consent of course. If you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, draw inspiration from your surroundings. Paint a sexy picture and describe what you’re doing at that moment. Maybe you’re laying in bed naked or doing chores around the house in your bra and panties — tell them! You can also describe what you love most about their body, and build anticipation for your next intimate encounter.
Additionally, you can set the stage for what you want a future sexual encounter with your partner to look like. To achieve this, Engle shared that you can mention a position you’d like to try or a new toy you’d like to bring into the bedroom upon your next sexy link-up. This will set the scene for your partner and build anticipation for a steamy chat and what’s to come outside of the digital realm.
3. Explore what turns them on.
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Is your partner into temperature play or role-playing? Sexting can be the perfect chance to discover their desires in the bedroom or explore if they have any kinks they’ve been eager to try. AASECT-certified sex therapist and educator Megan Torrey-Payne, LCSW, shared with Women’s Health in December 2023 that this kind of communication can deepen intimacy and your relationship, allowing you to visualize exactly what excites you about your partner.
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4. Send photos wisely and respect boundaries.
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Always make sure both of you are comfortable and on the same page. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to speak up and adjust accordingly. If you’re sharing pictures, keep in mind the trust and comfort level with your partner. Ensure you’re both okay with this and be cautious about privacy. Always ask for permission, Jasmine Akins, a sexual health educator at CAN Community Health, told Cosmopolitan in September 2024.
“Permission to send, permission to receive, and permission to continue sending and receiving are so important,” Akins added.
5. Regroup if your partner isn’t feeling it.
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If your partner is slow to respond, take a moment to explain why sexting is meaningful to you. If they’re not quite picking up on your cues, pause and offer a little more context. Engle shared that you can let your partner know what it means to you, and then ask directly: “Could you match the energy I’m putting out?” According to Engle, most people who enjoy sexting are happy to be more engaged when their partner expresses their needs, SELF noted.
Will you be implementing some of these tips to take your sexting game and relationship to the next level? Tell us in the comments section.
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