In her private Livestream for her patrons, Padua, who operates under SheRa Seven, asserted she wouldn’t date Black men today if she were in her 20s unless they were older and listed off her reasonings.
“They’re too feminine these days for me,” she said. “I like masculine, go get ‘em, ‘Imma pay for that baby’ type men, ok? ‘Where you wanna go on vacation?’ type men. That’s what I like.”
Padua then listed some of today’s Black men’s flaws that dissuaded her from seeing them as potential partners.
“Y’all take too long to get y’all stuff together,” Padua stated. “Y’all want us to pay half the bills and sleep with you. No, can’t do that. I wouldn’t be able to do it.”
The author explained she didn’t mean other men were superior to Black men but more ambitious.
“Yes, you can play basketball and football really good. You dominate the rap game, but the average non-famous Black man has less ambition. I like ambition,” she said. “Ambition leads to success. So, sorry.”
One person commented how some men had a financial advantage. Therefore, it doesn’t make them more ambitious. Padua disagreed and labeled that notion as an excuse, claiming ambitious people don’t require a financial “head start.”
“If you are ambitious, you don’t need a head start! If you good, you don’t need a head start,” the I Bring Nothing To The Table author said.
Padua shared she was married to a Black man who didn’t have a head start to get to where he was.
“[Black men] come up with every excuse instead of every solution. That’s your problem. You gonna sit here and say, ‘Oh, this. Oh, that.’ You gonna come up with ten excuses before you come up with half a solution.”
“That’s why you stuck. That’s why women make more money than you,” she continued. “And that’s just the honest truth. Everybody sees that…except y’all.”
Padua acknowledged how many Black women desire to date in their own race but would have to sacrifice.
“If you have to sacrifice anything to marry your own race, don’t do it,” she warned. “Either hold out, [or] go get an old man that’s your own race.”
Another commenter in the Live claimed the author only felt that way because she couldn’t control Black men, but she clapped back, saying men with no ambition are easy to control.
TikTok account Feminine Clips posted the videos of the Live meant for Padua’s patrons. Many Black women in the comments under the TikTok posts agreed with Padua and reasoned it’s why they date outside their race.
The non-ambitious and emasculate men Padua talked about are the “Pookies” Dr. Umar discussed on the Daily Rap Up Crew podcast.
Dr. Umar held Black men accountable for the poor dating pool Black women are subjected to, arguing Black men left Black women to raise their boys into strong Black men and teach them how to be suitable bachelors.
Many men find “masculine” Black women or women who don’t accept their hogwash intimidating and, therefore, won’t engage. But Dr. Umar urged Black men to assume their roles as men and leaders instead of directing the blame at the woman with her head on her shoulders.
“At the end of the day, if I’m going to call myself a man, the ultimate responsibility for the reconstruction of the Black community rests with me,” he stated. “Yes, they [Black women] have a role. Yes, they have responsibility. But as a man — as a leader — to say ‘I can’t fix this shit unless she changes’ — that’s not the definition of a man.”
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