Experts Now Say There Are 7 New Love Languages

Source: andreswd / Getty

You’ve probably heard of the original five love languages. As a refresher, they are: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, gifts and acts of service. Maybe you’ve even identified which are yours and which are your partners’. Understanding this can lead to a more rewarding relationship and increased intimacy because each person learns to recognize the deeper meaning of certain gestures on their partner’s end, and how to do things that feel the most loving to their partner. But what if you’ve never quite felt like any of the five languages were really your thing?

As the world continues to evolve, relationship expectations continue to change and even gender roles adjust, some of the original five love languages just don’t cut it for everyone. That’s why experts have identified a whole new seven love languages. They contain the original five, but with more specificity, plus two new ones. In this list, you might finally find the way you best show or feel love.

Activity

Source: silverkblack / Getty

The activity love language expands on the quality time love language. It isn’t only about being together doing anything at all, but rather about participating in one another’s hobbies and interests. A person’s hobby provides further insight into their personality and values, so sharing that with a partner can increase a bond. In one survey reported on in Pew Research, 64 percent of married couples ranked having shared interests as “very important.”

Having a shared interest additionally creates a way for you and a partner to spend more time together and build memories together. So, perhaps instead of dragging a partner to your hobby or going with them to theirs, find something you enjoy doing together.

Appreciation

Source: skynesher / Getty

This love language expands on the original words of affirmation love language. In the original version, a person felt loved when they received compliments. In this new, more layered love language, a person feels most loved when their partner specifically states how they make their life better. So, an example of the old version might be, “You’re so thoughtful” while an example of the new language would be, “I don’t know what I would do without you. You make my life so much better in X, Y and Z ways.” The appreciation love language is about giving praise about how a partner specifically enhances their partner’s life.

Emotional

Source: Milena Magazin / Getty

The emotional love language is one of the two new love languages. As we move more in a direction where people are looking for a best friend in a partner, rather than just a co-parent or domestic partner, it makes sense that this love language has come up. Research reported on in PsychCentral shows that building a friendship is important to relationship satisfaction. Having a deep emotional connection is a part of that.

One way this connection is built is by being there for each other through difficult times. If you speak the emotional love language, you feel most loved by your partner when they support you during trying and painful experiences. There’s a lot to be said for that, since research published in Social Networks and the Life Course found that couples who stick together in rough patches show the highest chances of lifelong happiness.

Financial

Source: Prostock-Studio / Getty

The financial love language builds on the original gifts love language. The original one was about receiving presents, like jewelry, vacations, clothing and chocolates. However, the new financial love language is about so much more. If this is your love language, you feel loved when you see your partner making financial moves that are for the betterment of both of your lives. So this could mean you see them putting aside money for a down payment on a home, or cutting back on spending on certain personal items to afford more shared experiences.

While the original gifts love language implied a sort of separation of finances, this new financial love language is about making financial choices together. A study published in the American Psychological Association shows that couples who pool their finances are more likely to stay together, and see themselves are more of a unit, rather than two separate entities.

Intellectual

Source: valentinrussanov / Getty

The intellectual love language is the second truly new of the seven love languages. It’s about having deep, meaningful and analytical discussions with a partner. If this is your love language, you feel most loved when your partner engages in complex and interesting conversations with you, so your partner can really appreciate your mind.

The emergence of this new love language also makes sense given the new direction marriages are taking. Particularly in heterosexual marriages, more women require that a partner see and treat them as psychologically equal, and intellectual conversations provide a way for a man to do that.

Practical

Source: mixetto / Getty

The practical love language is a new version of the acts of service one. This new love language assumes that all duties in the household belong to everyone, and acknowledging/showing that feels loving. So it’s less about “Rub my feet” or “Do my laundry for me” and more about “Carry your weight/do your part in our shared duties.”

The same Pew Research survey showing shared interests mattered in marriage also found that over half of couples say sharing household duties is very important. This remained true for couples who do not have children.