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Breakups, in the relationship/dating context, are socially accepted. However, for some reason, people can have a diehard, illogical loyalty to friendships. We’ll hold onto friendships for years that have only brought us pain, drama and disappointment.
The why usually boils down to having been friends for such a long time. But the longevity of a relationship doesn’t justify its survival if it isn’t working for you. And the truth is that most of your friendships aren’t meant to last.
Research published in the journal Social Forces found that 52 percent of one’s social network and 70 percent of close friendships dissolve after seven years.
This data can be viewed as sad, but it doesn’t have to be. People change. We’re meant to evolve as we get older, become wiser, take on new beliefs and develop new goals. The chances that everyone who was around you 10 years ago will be in line with your new worldview and your new social needs are very slim.
Most childhood and college friendships won’t last because, according to the University of Rochester Medical Center, the human brain isn’t done developing until age 25. So you could think someone is your bestie for life at 19, but six years later, no longer be compatible.
Like romantic relationships, holding onto friendships that no longer serve you is just holding you back from having fruitful friendships. This, it’s time to normalize friendship breakups. Here are six ways to assess your friendships to make sure they’re still a good fit.
Do You Get Excited To See Them?
This is a simple question, and should almost tell you everything that you need to know. If you once got excited to see a friend, you might not have noticed if that feeling has changed. We can go on autopilot in friendships, continuing to see someone with the same frequency as we always have, even if we aren’t feeling the same level of enthusiasm. If you’re no longer genuinely looking forward to seeing a friend, that could be a reason to reevaluate the friendship.
