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If you’re vaccinated, you may be bursting out of your skin to travel and spend time with friends after this pandemic. A girls’ trip can satisfy both of those needs. So if your girls reach out about doing a weekend in wine country or a week on a lake, say yes. You’re not just treating yourself when you do a girl’s trip – you’re taking care of your health. Research out of Michigan State University shows that having intimate friendships can improve your health and happiness across your lifetime. And if you’ve been feeling stressed recently (who hasn’t?) you may be interested in knowing that research publication Brill reports that spending time with friends releases feel-good oxytocin. The American Association for the Advancement of Science published a release showing that women who travel at least twice a year are less likely to suffer depression than those who travel just once a year.
There are clearly plenty of good reasons to plan a girls’ trip. But not everyone knows how to conduct themselves in a group travel setting. When you’re sharing accommodations and creating itineraries with a group, a little consideration, patience, and go-with-the-flow attitude is essential. Otherwise, you could be the person nobody wants to invite on the next trip. Here are behaviors nobody wants to see on the girls’ trip, so don’t be that person.
The phone addict
If you need to respond to an urgent email from work or check in with the babysitter a couple of times a day, that’s understandable. But if you’re just going to be glued to your phone, doing business, reading articles, checking the news, and texting with friends who aren’t on the trip the whole time…why even go on the trip? It’s rude to behave like this when just grabbing a meal with friends and it’s downright ridiculous when on a girls’ trip. The whole point is to unplug from real life, be present, and spend quality time together in a way busy life doesn’t usually let you.
The rule breaker
There’s always that one who hasn’t grown out of this college phase. She’s the rule breaker. If there is a rule in the AirBnb guest handbook that says nobody is allowed to try on the decorative kimonos hung on the walls, this guest will be the first to take them down, put them on, and take photos in them, laughing the whole way. If there’s a rule at the museum that you aren’t allowed to touch the art, she’ll try to touch it. If there’s a rule about not dancing on tables at the bar, she’s the first one up there. And when you tell her to cool it, she tells you that you’re “No fun.” What’s really no fun is when you get fined by your AirBnb host for breaking a rule.
The self-appointed leader
A girls’ trip should be a collaborative effort. The discussion about what you will all do for the day can be relaxed. Go with the flow. Feel out the vibe. Take the temperature of the room. Don’t swing open all bedroom doors at 8am and say, “Okay everyone! Get up! I’ve made us reservations at a restaurant for breakfast in 45 minutes and I booked us a tour at 10am then I found a hike for us to do at 2pm and we are booked for a yoga class at 5pm.” Nobody asked you to be the leader. Even if you think you know what’s best for the group – even if you do know what’s best for the group – being the self-appointed leader will quickly make you the least favorite person on the trip.
The social media reporter
If you want to snap some photos to do a picture dump at the end of the trip, fine. But don’t be the person who wants to pause at every meal and make friends wait to take that first bite of food and make everyone gather around the fountain…to take photos. Don’t make everyone stop what they’re doing when they’re clearly having fun and living in the moment to document every second for social media. And don’t go live on social media with the girls every second. They may not want that. A little privacy, please! Remember their employers might be watching as your friend puts a $10 bill in a go-go dancer’s boot.
The lonely wanderer
If you’re going to travel with a group of friends, be with the group. Maybe they don’t choose your top choice for museum or hike or daytime activity. That doesn’t mean you should say, “I’m going to go do this other thing instead and meet up with you all later.” The point of the trip is to be together. The activities you do are just background noise. If you’re dead set on doing and seeing certain things at a destination, return to it on your own one day. Wandering off to do your own thing on a girls’ trip will make the others wonder why they invited you.
The good bed/room hog
If you’re renting a house with friends, there will be rooms that are clearly superior to the others. One might have a king bed and a balcony while one might have two sets of bunk beds in the basement. Obviously everyone wants that room with the balcony. But that doesn’t mean you should rush to it, throw your bags on the bed, and yell “Mine!” It’s a bad look. There can be compromise. People can switch off rooms. If there is a reason you need a certain room – like you have IBS and need a private bathroom – that’s another story. But claiming the good room to be a princess won’t make you friends.
The drunk
Girls’ weekends can be boozy weekends, and that’s fine. But don’t be the one who gets so drunk that you all get kicked out of the bar. Don’t be the one who gets so drunk that you break a piece of art in the AirBnb. Don’t be the one who gets so drunk that she starts blurting out secrets of the other women she swore not to tell. Know your limits. Overdoing it just makes it so that everyone else has to pay for your mistakes. It can even ruin everyone’s good time – their good, non-refundable time – if you get them kicked out of a show or ticketed event.
The snob
The accommodations may not be perfect. If you weren’t the one in charge of selecting the hotel, the AirBnb, the rental car, the day spa – you name it – it may not be up to your standards. But, this isn’t a solo trip. It’s a girls’ trip! And someone put a lot of time and thought into finding that AirBnb. They may have received many requests like, a place with at least four bedrooms, a place with a pool, and a place near town. Making everyone happy isn’t easy. So rather than making a face or making comments about the size of the place or the décor, thank the person who found it.
The lag
Try to assess the pace at which everyone else is moving and stay with that. If it’s clear that everyone is keeping it casual for dinner, just wearing what they wore during the day and putting on minimal makeup, it’s not time to wash, blow-dry, and straighten your hair for an hour and spend 20 minutes picking out a new outfit and a half hour doing your makeup. If you notice everybody sitting in the living room waiting for you…put down the curling iron, and join them. Being the one person who somehow consistently takes twice as long as the others to do anything can get you uninvited on the next trip.
The messy one
Even if it’s just a short trip, that doesn’t mean it’s time to turn the AirBnb into what feels like a poorly-managed Ross Dress for Less. Don’t dump your suitcase contents all over the floors and furniture. Don’t leave half-eaten plates of food out on counters to attract flies and cockroaches. It’s vacation, so you won’t be vacuuming or dusting, but making some basic attempt at tidiness will be appreciated by the others. Nobody respects the one whose corner of the hotel room looks like the bedroom of a teenage boy within one hour or arriving. Why are there loose chips and plastic straws in your pile of underwear?
