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I loved how Tammy approached the situation with Karlie Redd delivering gossip about Rasheeda’s unfaithful husband on this season of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.” When the subject came up, Tammy graciously excused herself from the convo because she didn’t feel comfortable discussing her friend’s business without her friend being there.

The older I get, the wiser I become. That probably sounded like a redundant statement, but for some women, that’s not the case. Lately, I’ve become petrified of people who always have “tea” for me to sip. Not petrified, as in scared, but leery as hell. When you notice that a huge chunk of a friend’s conversations are solely about the woes and scandals in other people’s lives, that’s a problem! It’s like damn, Gina! All this tea, where is the water?

When I say water, I’m talking about the real conversation that cleanses, refreshes, and promotes growth. Where are the conversations about your goals for the first quarter of 2017? How about you ask me what’s going on with my nonprofit initiatives? Do you even have a life outside of work and collecting tea bags? And why are you delivering this tea so proudly, like it’s the Emancipation Proclamation? These are all questions that need answers. Meanwhile, here are some hints that the people in your circle enjoy tea time a bit too much.

  1. You feel drained. If the girl gossip leaves you feeling mentally tired and suddenly unfocused, it’s too much. You need to detox your mind by not entertaining these conversations.
  2. The details are sketch. You can tell when girl talk is just general conversation about what’s happening here and there, versus a celebration of mess and mayhem. There’s a huge difference between “Lisa’s not working at the mall anymore” and “Lisa stopped sleeping with her manager, so he fired her.”
  3. Pouring tea gives them life. Why are these individuals so excited to share this info with you? You’ve got to question a person who finds contentment in other people’s confusion.
  4. They sip from anybody’s cup. Some people’s ears itch so bad for news, they’ll receive it wherever they can get it. If your friends’ sources are folks that are known to be infamous mess makers, that’s a problem. If your friend carries bones from sources she knows are not always credible, that’s a bigger problem.  Now she is spreading possible lies with no discretion.
  5. They see nothing wrong with what they do. If you have expressed your thoughts on not participating in the mess, and they insist on delivering, that person does not respect your opinion.
  6.  You’re next in line. Be very cautious. Your business may be put on blast next. People like to downplay their running mouths by saying spreading your business doesn’t benefit them. Well, that’s obvious–spreading no one’s business is a benefit to them! But trust and believe that they use it as a substitution for their boredom.
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