Dear Ashley: I Stopped Going Down On Him & He Threatened To Kick Me Out
Dear Ms. No Head,
I mean….are you going to give him some head or nah? That’s where we at, sis. Listen, you can’t play victim after you basically left your boyfriend without a choice. You also can’t ask “did he ever love me” when you totally disregarded his feelings for months. The question you should be asking is, did I ever love him? Someone who loves their partner and cares about their pleasure, compromises. Yes, it is your body and your choice and you’re never required to do anything you don’t want to do. Just like you’re allowed to hate blowjobs and not give them, your boyfriend is allowed to think they’re a requirement. He’s also allowed to not want to stay in a relationship that he doesn’t find sexually compatible.
It’s very simple. You have a decision to make. Suck his d— or move out? These are your options. I think your relationship is over. You hate giving head and he needs it. You’re always going to hate giving head and you’re unwilling to compromise, which is fine. But what is he supposed to do? Settle for a blowjob-less life with you? Asking him to do that is selfish.
Talk to him and ask if you can stay until you find appropriate housing or fake it until you make it. Give him head until you can afford to move out. He’s only asking for weekly head, I honestly don’t think once a week head is a lot. Buy some flavored lube, to mask the taste.
In terms of your housing dilemma, I’m not sure where you reside but most states have programs for women and children to include housing. Check with your local social services for resources. Figure something out before you are homeless.
Lastly, my biggest piece of advice is always, start out how you plan to end up. In your next relationship, be honest about what you are and aren’t willing to do sexually, in the beginning. It will save you and your partner a lot of wasted time.
Ashley Cobb, is the millennial microphone that brings the conversation of Black women’s pleasure to the forefront. Creator of digital platform Sex With Ashley, her work and words have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Shape Magazine, Business Insider and Huffington Post. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter via @sexwithashley
