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2017 Women's Empowerment Expo

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During a recent Bonnet Chronicles video Tami Roman shared with fans on YouTube, the 50-year-old media personality and actress talked about an important aspect of friendship code that some people easily flout.

She shared a story about a former friend whom she had been close with for more than a decade. When their relationship unfortunately came to an end, that so-called former friend went around trying to get Roman caught up in drama. She told Roman’s famous friends things that were said about them by the star out of context, and she linked up with people whom Roman was not fond of and started telling all her business. It got ugly. Despite that, she never shared the former friend’s business with anyone else. According to Roman, that’s against friendship code, which lasts even if the relationship doesn’t, where one operates based on the love and loyalty that was once there.

“I used to love this person so I’m not gon’ badmouth them. I’m not going to dog them. I’m not going to sh-t on them in the streets. I’m not going to tell their f–kin’ business,” she said. “Keep my f–kin name out your mouth, I’ll do the same, and we can all govern ourselves accordingly.”

Roman took a brief respite from her message to address those who might have said, well what about the ladies from Basketball Wives? That show is filled with women spilling all sorts of tea about one another’s pasts once relationships go to hell, and Roman has been caught up in that before. However, Roman clarified that such behavior was acceptable based on the fact that those women were not her true friends.

“Now for y’all that’s gon’ drop down in the comments talking about some sh-t that happened on Basketball Wives, they not my f–kin’ friends. Okay? And that was a TV show. So yeah, sh-t was taken back and forth and things were said and done all the f–kin’ time because we’re not fuckin’ friends. We were co-workers,” she said. “I’m talking about my friends. My real fuckin’ life friends. There’s a code that I feel should be honored. And in the event we stop being friends, operate within the dissection of the union. With the thought process being the love that you had for that person when y’all was connected.”

Roman’s comments about what her relationships truly were with her co-stars is not shocking. She has spoken out about the ways in which she realized that the women weren’t actually her friends, including show producer and cast member Shaunie O’Neal.

“I thought that Shaunie and I were real friends. I think that I put more weight and more value on the friendship than she actually was doing,” she said last year about their relationship. “From my standpoint, I really loved and respected Shaunie a great deal. And so the last two seasons made me feel like it wasn’t any reciprocity. You gotta acknowledge that and honor it. If people don’t f–k with you like that they just don’t f–k with you. No harm, no foul. But I just realized that it wasn’t that deep for her.”

It’s also not a surprise that she wouldn’t call her relationship with Jackie Christie at least a true friendship. Despite the fact that she invited Jackie to her announcement of her marriage, something she kept most of the cast out of. she said during her time on the show that Jackie could be a bit “fake,” and said it to her face.

It seems any relationships she’s carried on from the show, she isn’t keen on throwing the f-word around to label them. Really, you can’t blame her.

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