10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Allowing Friends Or Family To Move In
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For the most part, when we’re able to help a loved one who has fallen on hard times, we try our best to do so. However, when said loved one needs a place to stay, things can get a bit complicated. Opening your home to a relative or friend is a noble deed, but it’s not easy by any means. So, before you agree to host a long-term houseguest, here are 10 questions to ask yourself:
Have I taken enough time to think about this?
When someone puts you on the spot and asks if they can move in, it’s easy to succumb to the pressure that you may feel in the moment and agree to help out without taking the time to fully weigh the decision and the impact that it will have on your current living arrangements. While you may want to help out your loved one, who may be in need, it’s not easy to have a long-term houseguest, so you should definitely give yourself some time to make a decision.
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Can my household budget afford another person?
While you may strongly desire to extend yourself and your home to your loved one who is in need, it’s important to consider whether or not your household budget will be able to withstand the strain of adding another person to your household. An additional body may result in increased costs such as electricity, water, grocery, toiletries, and so on. For this reason, it may be a good idea to crunch some numbers before committing.
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Have I considered the feelings of the people who live here?
When you share a home with a spouse, children, or roommate, it’s important to also take their feelings into consideration before you agree to open your home to a long-term guest. Not everyone does well with sharing their personal space with others and it’s unfair to make such a major decision without asking for input from your housemates.
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Do we actually have space for another person?
Depending on the size of your home, space could also present an issue. While your home may feel as though it’s the perfect size for your current living arrangement, adding another person to the mix could shrink available living space significantly. Having someone crash on your sofa sounds like a great idea until you realize how infrequently you will be able to use your living room.
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How will this affect household resources?
Will this guest be able to contribute in any way during their stay? If not, it’s important to consider how an additional person will impact household resources such as food and toiletries. Having a realistic idea of how this extra person will have an effect on things can help you to better prepare and accommodate them during their stay.
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How will this alter household functions and my family dynamic?
Every household has a flow. In what ways will having a guest disrupt that flow? Will it prevent household members from enjoying alone time? Does it mean that certain family activities and traditions will temporarily be placed on hold? Will having a guest affect the quality or quantity of sleep that you and your family are able to get each night? While you don’t have a crystal ball and can’t predict the future, it can be helpful to think through some potential scenarios.
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Can I be assertive about house rules?
You may not think that you have house rules, but you have preferences and boundaries that you expect the people who inhabit your home to follow. Will you be able to assert yourself if those boundaries are violated? If not, it’s going to be a miserable experience.
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Does this person have a realistic move-out timeline?
How long does your potential guest intend to stay with you and do they have a realistic timeline for moving out? Once you open your home to a person, it could be for the long haul, so you’ll want to get an idea of what their plans are for getting back on their feet.
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Can I commit to being self-aware and kind?
Once you agree to allow a guest to come and stay with you, it’s important to be hospitable and kind. There may be some days when you are irritated or may even temporarily regret your decision, but you don’t want to make your guest feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.
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Am I okay with being uncomfortable in my home for a while?
Having a houseguest is not easy and there may be moments of discomfort. In many cases, it’s nothing like having a sleepover and in some instances, things can get so bad that the relationship is irreversibly damaged. However, those uncomfortbale moments may be worth it since you’re offering much-needed support to a friend or loved one in need.
