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“Can I confess something to you?” a girlfriend recently asked me. “Sure,” I said. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life—how I would feel like I had the most purpose and would put my skills and passion to use. And I think I know what it is. I think I’ve known for quite some time. But I’ve been embarrassed to say it for fear that it’s, I don’t know, not feminist.” At this point, I have no idea what she’s going to say. But she continues: “I want to be a homemaker. I just love the idea of creating a warm and supportive space for my husband and children. Making nourishing meals for them and creating traditions. Tutoring my kids and helping them learn other things in the evening like a second language or an instrument. I want to manage a household.”
It made me so sad that my friend felt this had to be a confession—like it was a dirty secret. Is this what our society has come to? Has feminism become so backwards—so perverted—that we make women feel bad for wanting to make a nice home environment for their family? I can only imagine that any “feminist” who scoffs at that probably enjoyed a nice home environment created by a parent, and doesn’t even realize how much work went into that. I have—and I hate to say it—seen how, oftentimes, we can misuse the term “Feminist” to cover up something that’s just ugly, like…hating men or…apparently…despising homemakers.
“I don’t want people to see me as a kept woman,” my friend added. Woah, woah, woah. “Stop right there,” I said. “A kept woman and a homemaker are two very different things.” But, if my friend fears people would make the mistake, maybe it’s because our society at large does believe that if a woman doesn’t make money for her household that she…does nothing. And that simply isn’t true. Here are the critical differences between a homemaker and a kept woman.
A homemaker decorates
A homemaker goes to the stores and handpicks things to create an ambiance—an environment—in her home. She’s waiting in the lines. She’s walking through the aisles. She’s putting thought and effort into what decorative items would create a feeling of home for her family.
