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We see it a lot, don’t we? Someone who so clearly wants to love someone else—someone who is good, kind, trustworthy, marriage material—but he just…doesn’t. Or she just doesn’t (Hello Jessica and Mark of “Love Is Blind.” You know Mark is a sweetie and Jessica just hadn’t outgrown her bad boy phase yet!) I don’t want to say that there is ever an excuse for anybody to string someone along, but I do understand one of the not-so-evil reasons it happens sometimes.
People string others along for many reasons. Sometimes, those reasons are very selfish—like they just want that person around as a booty call/back up when their first choice falls through, or they get a sick thrill out of having someone pine after them. But sometimes, the heart and head are just conflicted. The head understands that the person right there, loving you, is good. On paper, she has all the traits one would want. Anybody would be lucky to have this person! The parents would certainly approve. All the friends love her! When all of these pieces are there, but that spark isn’t, sometimes, we just try to force the spark. We lie to ourselves. We want to want what’s good for us. So, we stick around to see if our feelings can change—evolve.
If you are the one being strung along by a man who, in many ways shows you affection and respect but clearly isn’t mad about you, you may be in this very situation. You may be with a man who wants to love you, but doesn’t. The appeal to stay is certainly there. You can think, “Well, if he wants to be in love with me then he just…will!” But people aren’t in control of their emotions like that. They might be able to control how they express what they feel, but not what they feel. And you’ll always know it if he just doesn’t feel it. Here are signs he wants to love you, but doesn’t.
He’s at all your events
He has perfect attendance at your events. Your new product line launches at a store, and he’s the first one there, and the last one to leave. It’s your sibling’s husband’s birthday party. He’s there, helping serve drinks. People would presume this man was quite devoted to you. You certainly aren’t the woman who has to go to events stag, even though she has a man.
