Signs You're Prioritizing Work Over Family And How To Do Better
Signs You Put Work Before Family And How To Do Better - Page 6
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Jobs are temporary, but family is forever. Unfortunately, it’s not until tragedy strikes or we experience a decline in our health that we begin to recognize that our priorities are misaligned. It’s easy to get so caught up in trying to make a living and accomplishing career goals that you forget to actually live. Sadly, when this happens, our families are usually the ones who suffer. Here are five signs that you’ve been prioritizing work over family and how you can do better moving forward.
You repeatedly miss family events because of work
A sure sign that you have begun to prioritize work over family is when you are constantly missing pre-planned family events because of work. It’s one thing if grandma decides to host an impromptu family dinner on a work night, but it’s another if you’re missing out on auntie’s retirement party, which you’ve known about for months, because your boss decided to spring a new project on you at the last minute.
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Solution: Put family events on the calendar in advance
Use one calendar for your work life and your personal life. That way, you can see all of your important dates and map out your schedule accordingly. And as you schedule, treat those family events just as you would any other important appointment. Often times, we take our families for granted because we know that they will be more understanding and forgiving than our employer. What we don’t always realize is that jobs come and go but family is forever.
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You spend dinner and the hours that follow catching up on work
Are you using lulls in conversation at the dinner table to send a “quick” email or to catch up on small work-related tasks? Stop. Your family can tell when you’re not present. Those little tasks will still be there when you return to work the following day. Work will always be there. What won’t be there are the precious moments of family time that we often take for granted until we no longer have them.
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Solution: Designate a time where you will be screen-free and present
Establish boundaries for yourself and commit to keeping work at work. Of course, this is much easier said than done. But at the very least, you can commit to doing away with your electronic devices during dinnertime and the few hours that follow. Your career won’t go up in flames because you committed to being fully present for your family members for a handful of hours each night.
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You’re absent during the times when your family needs you the most
Emergencies and tragedies are things that you simply can’t plan for. They come on suddenly and usually at the most inconvenient times. Feeling overwhelmed at work is not a plausible excuse to go ghost on your loved ones during their time of need.
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Solution: Establish a contingency plan
Your office will not go up in flames if you need to leave early or miss a day of work as a result of an emergency. Consider your daily tasks and make a list of the ones that would cause disruption if you happen to miss a day. Now, think about who you could temporarily fill-in for you to handle these tasks if necessary. You could probably think of a few people. If you died today, HR would be advertising to fill your position on Indeed before your casket is lowered into the ground. To your employer, you are 100 percent replaceable. To your family, you are not.
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Your kids are acting out to get your attention
Moms are great at multitasking. It’s a gift and a curse. However, there’s not enough multitasking in the world that can fill the void that exists in a child who feels that their parent doesn’t have time for them. Our children can recognize when they don’t have our undivided attention and sometimes, they will act out in order to get it.
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Solution: Designate specific times where you give the kids your undivided attention
We devote so much time trying to provide for our kids that we sometimes forget the importance of simply spending time with them. Designate several hours per week that you will spend with your children and fiercely guard that time against work-related distractions.
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Your rarely attend school events or extracurricular activities
It’s important to kids that their parents show up for them. Unfortunately, work can often conflict with school events and extracurricular activities such as dance or sports practice.
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Solution: Schedule them in
It’s likely not possible to be present every time the school doors are open to parents or every time your kid has basketball practice. However, it may be possible for you to arrange to make an appearance once per quarter. Look at the school calendar in advance and decide which dates you can attend. Then, lock them into your work calendar.
