The right partner should bring out the best version of you. He should highlight all the qualities you love in yourself, and help you dampen some of those you aren’t so proud of. But, nobody can be perfect, all of the time. And though you want to be the lovely person your partner thinks you are all of the time, if you’re with someone for a long time, sometimes you’ll be the person you’re least proud to be. Proximity can breed contempt. Predictability can make us grumpy. And, when we’re in a bad mood, who do we take it out on? Our loved ones, because we know they aren’t going anywhere.
Yup, sometimes you’ll find yourself behaving in a way towards your partner that later makes you feel so ashamed. You swear that a young, teen you, dreaming of finding your soul mate wouldn’t believe you could talk to him like that. “You spent decades looking for this man and that’s how you treat him?!” That’s what a naïve, idealistic, teenage you would probably say. But what did she know about the realities of spending years with someone under the same roof? What did she know about going through growing pains with someone and being there with somebody through thick and thin? That won’t always have our personalities shining.
Though things should be mostly good in your relationship and you should speak to each other predominantly with kindness, don’t be too hard on yourself if once in a while, you aren’t your best self. I promise you that even couples who seem perfect exchange some choice words behind closed doors, and have moments they’re less than proud of. The important thing is that you apologize, and get that love flowing again. Here are relationship moments we’re never proud of.
Being a long-term nurse
If you’re married, then you promised to be there for each other “in sickness and in health.” Even if you aren’t married, the understanding is that you take care of one another when you’re sick. But when your partner is going on day seven of the flu, you may get tired of being at his beck and call, and you may just pretend not to hear him when he asks for one more cup of tea or for someone to bring him the remote control. Or, you may just “run an errand” (go get a drink/massage) that you drag out, just to get away.