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New Year’s Resolutions tend to revolve around, well, ourselves. I’ll eat less sugar. I’ll go to the gym more. I’ll save more money. I’ll promote my business harder. And while tending to your own garden and working on self-improvement is certainly important—in fact, it’s a critical part of being a good wife, employee, sister, friend, boss, neighbor, girlfriend, and all of the things that we are to other people, it’s also important to make some resolutions pertaining specifically to how we engage with the world.
So often, the changes we want to see in our lives would actually come not if we improved ourselves—not if we became thinner, smarter, stronger, or richer—but rather if we improved the ways we interacted with others. In fact, often we will just work on ourselves—we’ll lose that weight, we’ll take that night class that gives us all those resume-boosting skills, or we’ll get that makeover—and we’re surprised to find that nothing really changes in our lives. That’s because, as great as a makeover is or as wonderful as that new software program is that you’ve learned, what’s really impactful is our relationships.
That’s why, so often, we see people who have things that we want, and think, “Them? They have it, and I don’t? They aren’t even that fit/smart/hot/wealthy. How did they get that?” Well, probably through the way that they treat people. So maybe this year, when you’re setting your resolutions, instead of looking inward, look outward. The great thing about resolutions that pertain to other people is that they’re usually easier to keep than, say, the resolution to hit the gym every day. You get instant results from the relationship-centric resolution, and those are encouraging. People respond in kind right away to your changes, and that keeps you motivated.
I’ll help the newer colleague
Rather than seeing the new colleague as a nuisance—someone who is weighing the rest of the team down because she constantly makes mistakes and needs help—see her as an opportunity. You were once her, and you just needed someone to step in, show you the ropes, and have a little patience. Don’t get frustrated when she needs a little guidance: be patient, be kind, and help her out.
