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I’m not saying that every woman wants to be in a relationship. And I’m certainly not saying that, if you do want one you should take tips from just any woman in a relationship. But, if you do find yourself wishing to have someone special in your life, and want one to finally stick, pay close attention to the details of your friend’s relationship that you really admire.

Like these:

How does she communicate?

If she disagrees with him, or is unhappy with him in front of other people, how does she tell him? Is she sassy and straight-forward about it? Is she sweet, looking for a gentle, beat-around-the-bush way to say it? Does she just politely tell him “we need to have a talk later” ?

What does she let slide?

Him forgetting to call back? Leaving a messy kitchen? Leaving her to fend for herself at a bar while he talks to his buddies? Not inviting her home for the holidays? What does she make a big deal out of? What does she just let go? These are things that, while they are annoying, are not indicators of some character flaw on his part and don’t make her feel completely disrespected.


What does she demand?

One date night a week? That he update her on problems in his family? A daily goodnight phone call? These are the things that make her feel loved and respected and without them she would not feel like a priority.


How much does she tend to him?

Does she make him dinner every night? Does she stay by his side when they’re out, or strike out on her own? Does she call him throughout the day to check on him if he is sick, or ask how things are going? Or does she put that off until they see each other? She has probably figured out how much space—and how much level of showing that you care—is necessary for both to be happy.

How often are they together?

Once a week? All day every day? A few times a week? If you admire her relationship, figure out what her boyfriend and the rest of her life balance is like.

What do they talk about?

Do they discuss stresses in their life like work or arguments with their family? Do they discuss in detail large ambitions that they have, like having one another proof read the grant they are writing or shop around with them for an office space to buy? They have probably figured out what topics a couple needs to talk about in order to feel connected.


What is their sex life like?

This is one you’ll probably have to ask your friend yourself. Try to find out if they try new things often, how often they have sex, who is usually dominant and who is submissive…Just get whatever details you can. Sex is an important part of feeling close to your partner, and if your friend is in a happy relationship, she has probably figured out how to keep their sex life good.

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