“Nice guys finish last” is a phrase that has always made me feel a lot of negative emotions. Frustration comes to mind. Disgust. Exhaustion. Do women have a phrase like that? Do we say that, “Nice women finish last?” No way. That’s a very complex topic in and of itself since women have been told for centuries to just “be nice,” which really did hold us back, but we were told was a good thing. And now you have empowered, fabulous “nasty women” who make some gains due to it, but are also chastised for it. We don’t get this clean and convenient relationship with the word “nice” that men have. But I digress. I’m tired of men saying “nice guys finish last” and, quite frankly, I’ve never met one who said it that was really all that nice. Here’s the truth about that twisted idea.
Being nice for a reward isn’t nice
Often, when men say this, it’s because they were very nice to a woman for a long time, in the hopes that, in return, she’d sleep with them. Then she didn’t. She slept with someone else. And they complain it’s because they were “nice.” So, to be clear: doing something nice purely because you want something in return is not nice. That’s called being selfish.